Bella POV
I couldn't stand it. I couldn't live anymore, not without him in my life. But he didn't want me. No, he didn't want or need me. That day in the forest was the worst in my life, James biting me was a better day. Almost dying was better. I just wish I had been able to say goodbye to the rest of them; Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and even Rosalie. I was going to miss them all, especially him.
I couldn't even bring myself to think his name.
The house was eerily quiet; you could hear a calm breeze through the open windows. It was surreal. Charlie wouldn't be home for another five hours. I had enough time to do whatever I needed to do, what I wanted to do. I just had to find a way to do it. I thought about using Charlie's gun, he had taught me enough about safety that I could. It was just too messy, too gruesome, and I didn't want to do that to him. It was going to be hard enough on him already. I could slash my wrists, but that would still involve a clean up. The only way I could do it that was easier would be an overdose. I was going to have my first and last foray into drugs and alcohol.
I sat down to write a letter to Charlie:
"Dear Dad,
I'm so sorry to do this to you, but I'm tired of it. I'm so tired of trying to live life one day at a time. I don't think there was ever another choice for me, another way of happiness.
Every day since the Cullens' left, I have been dying on the inside. I'm sorry, I thought I hid it from you, but I hear you talking to your friends. I am going to miss you.
Tell Renee that I love her, and even Phil. I'm happy that I came to live with you, Daddy. It has been the best time of my life, not only because of the people I have met, but because I got to spend the last months of my life with you.
I'm writing a letter to him. As my last request, if he shall ever return, please, please give it to him. I love you.
I am so sorry.
With all my love,
Bella.
With that I walked down to the kitchen grabbing all of Charlie's beer. I stopped by bathroom to grab all the pills we had. I walked into my room and lay down on the bed. I began my task, and soon I was falling asleep for the final time.