A/N: I love Tony and Clint as a pairing, I'm sorry. They're so cute. And funny. And easy to write about. And I don't do many AUs, so this was fun. (A little dialogue heavy. Oh well~)
Disclaimer: I don't own Clint or Tony…unfortunately.
Warnings: Slight cursing because… Well, because Tony.
"Hey Clint."
"What? And why are you whispering?"
"'Cause we're on an undercover mission. See that red-haired chick over there?"
Clint sighed and glanced (what he hoped was) discretely behind him. "Yeah, what about her?"
"You should go ask her out. She seems like your type." A sly grin spread over Tony's face as Clint rolled his eyes.
"How about no? You have no idea what my type is anyway." The blonde elbowed Tony in the ribs and turned back to his dinner. "We've known each other for like, what, eight hours?"
"C'mon, give her a chance! She's wearing all black, just like you; she seems like the 'strong, silent' type…or the girl equivalent of that, I guess." Leaning back in his chair, Tony munched on a stick of celery while Clint snorted into his chicken.
"You're insane. Besides, her pants are brown. Hurry up and eat, we've got like five minutes left."
Tony groaned. "This whole schedule thing is so not going to work out…I'm used to managing my own life, not having adults ferry me from place to place. I bet we have to have bathroom buddies."
"We do, actually. And you're like fifteen, what can you possibly do on your own?"
"I do plenty on my own, thanks, I have my own private-" Tony's hands, which had been flailing around to help prove his point, flopped back down to his lap as he was interrupted.
"It's time for Vespers, kids! Eagle Cabin is cleaning tonight, so everyone else please begin making your way down to the bonfire pit."
Tony blanched and whipped around to face Clint as the woman clapped happily and retreated into the kitchen. "This is a religious camp?" he hissed. "What the fuck?"
"Shut up, Whatserface will hear you. And yes this is a religious camp, what did you think?"
Ignoring the question, Tony pushed his chair back violently, causing it to topple backwards, and stormed towards the door. The effect was ruined, however, as he stomped back to push in his chair correctly. Clint sniggered and snatched one last leg of chicken before following the rest of their cabin.
"C'mon, drama queen. You don't even have to participate in the religious part, I don't. Just pretend. Or sleep."
Tony grumbled under his breath, but tagged behind Clint anyway, secretly loath to be separated from his only friend. He hadn't even known he was going to an apparently religious summer camp until the previous week, and was decidedly displeased about being yanked away from his inventions and his (tiny) group of friends.
Clint, on the other hand, had been going to Camp Sunrise for years, and had grown to really enjoy it. It wasn't the favorite part of his summer, but it was pretty close. Though he generally preferred to be alone, Clint would usually make at least one friend during the camp, which, he thought, was why his mother kept encouraging him to go. This year, he and Tony had met when the dark-haired boy had knocked Clint out of a tree with a rock, shouting at him to get down because he looked like an idiot.
"Did I really look that stupid?"
Tony tilted his head slightly as he finally caught up with his friend. "Say what, Hawkeye?"
"When I- What did you just call me?"
"Hawkeye. 'Cause you were in a tree, and you're good at archery. Got a good eye. And yes, you did look that stupid." Tony grinned and clasped his hands behind his head, proud of his nicknaming capabilities. Clint was less than impressed.
"That sounds retarded, don't call me that."
"Nuh-uh! It's cool. And you definitely need some coolness. I mean, bows and arrows…kinda dorky."
Clint scrunched his face up and elbowed Tony in the ribs. "Don't judge me! I've been doing archery here since I was ten. You're just jealous 'cause I have an awesome talent."
Tony smirked, his expression suddenly smug. "I have a fully functional artificially intelligent robot at home that I designed and built myself."
"You're kidding." Clint blinked at Tony owlishly as the dark-haired boy beamed and slid into one of the back rows of the tiny amphitheater surrounding the bonfire.
"Nope. I'm a certified engineering genius."
"That's pretty damn impressive."
"Of course it is, I'm Tony-Fucking-Stark. Now sit down and shut up."
XxXxX
It was dark and muggy by the time Clint, Tony and the rest of their group began the trek back up the trail to their campsite. Camp Sunrise was situated on the side of a small mountain, and, per Tony's luck, Badger Cabin was the highest up the main trail. As he usually sat inside and tinkered with machines all day, the dark-haired boy was unquestionably, embarrassingly, out of shape.
"This…is ridiculous. There's no need…to have to walk twenty damn miles…just to go to bed!"
Clint chuckled and slapped Tony amicably on the back. "It's like two-hundred yards, Tony. It's not that bad." Pulling ahead of his friend, the blonde grabbed Tony's wrist and began pulling him up the slope. "Suck it up, cupcake, let's go! We've only got a little bit farther."
True to Clint's word, the boys were collapsing on their beds several minutes later, Tony huffing and puffing, and Clint giggling uncontrollably. "You're so pathetic! It's hilarious!"
Tony scowled. "It's not hilarious at all! So just shut up and change."
Still laughing quietly, Clint turned away and did as he was told, slipping into baggy shorts and a tank top before flopping back onto his mattress. Tony was similarly dressed.
"Hey Hawky, push your bed over here! Lucas-"
"Logan."
"Whatever, he'll be back in a few minutes. I gotta show you something." Glancing around at the rest of the boys, who were busy moving beds around and throwing stuff at each other, Clint shoved his own bed next to Tony's and sat on the edge.
"What is it?"
Tony grinned, obviously pleased with himself, and pulled a small tablet out of his pocket. "I brought a big ol' blanket with me. We can drape it over both of us and talk on this. You seem like a night owl to me."
Clint snorted and lay back on his bed. "I guess you know about the 'no electronics' rule." Tony shrugged and grinned, as if to say 'of course'. "And you sure are making a hell of a lot of assumptions about me…but you're right. And quit comparing me to birds."
"If you wouldn't sit in trees all the time-"
"Alright, lights out boys!" The cabin councilor, Logan, settled onto his own bed and flicked off said lights, plunging the chatty boys into almost complete darkness. "No more talking; I'll wake you all up at eight o'clock tomorrow, and those of you who want morning showers can go ahead down. The rest of you can sleep till eight-thirty, and breakfast is at nine. Goodnight!"
There were a few mutters of 'night' in return before the room went silent. Tony waited until his eyes adjusted to the light, then pulled his huge blanket up over his head and threw one corner at Clint. The blonde scooted to the edge of his bed and yanked the blanket over his head as well. Following suit, Tony flipped onto his side and pulled the tablet out of his pocket. He had pre-set the screen to the darkest setting and had purposefully chosen a thick blanket, so he knew the light couldn't be seen from outside their little tent, but the held the device close to his chest anyway as he tapped out his message and passed it to Clint.
Tada~ I'm amazing.
Clint smirked. Whatever. I've never seen anything like this, what is it?
I made it myself. Just a little prototype.
… I really hate to admit it, but that's super impressive.
Well I'm an impressive person. ;)
Glancing over at Tony, Clint raised an eyebrow. Sure, okay. And don't use winky faces on me, I'm not your girlfriend.
Tony had to giggle into his pillow at that. No, you're definitely not. Not my type.
You talk a lot about types.
Well, yeah. It matters. You probably like dark, serious girls, you know. The kind that can rip your balls off with their pinky.
Uhhhhh, no. Not my type.
Okay then, opposites. Blond bimbos?
Even farther off, sorry.
Damn. Oh well. What is your type then?
Dunno. I've never thought about dating or girls. Got better things to do.
Better things to do? Bullshit.
Shuddup.
Why wouldn't you just say shut up, it's less letters.
The space counts.
Tony rolled his eyes and flicked the closest part of Clint he could find. This is a stupid conversation.
That's not my fault. You're the one that asked about my sexual preferences.
I did not.
Did so.
What type of girls you like has nothing to do with sexual preferences.
Clint just stared at the tablet for a moment, thinking about what to say next. This was definitely a conversation he didn't want to have right now. Well maybe I don't like girls. Smooth, Barton. Real smooth.
Oh. That's cool.
I said maybe.
Maybe means 'guess what, I'm gay' in Tony language.
The blonde shot Tony his best Angry Glare.
That face makes you look like a French bulldog.
Throwing the tablet back at Tony, Clint crossed his arms and flipped onto his back. The dark-haired boy immediately started poking him in the side, and soon shoved the device under Clint's back.
I don't care if you're gay. You can help me shop for skinny jeans.
I'm not gay. And you'd look ridiculous in skinny jeans.
Bisexual then. Sweet, you swing both ways.
No. Gay. Just shut up, you're digging yourself a really deep grave. Arrows have a mind of their own sometimes…
Hey, hate the player, not the game.
It's hate the game, not the player. And that totally doesn't apply here.
Whatever, Hawkass.
…Dude, no. I don't care what that's making fun of, just..no.
Please review, favorite or whatever...I doubt I'm gonna continue it. I was just bored... I'll probably do some more serious IronHawk in the future. I love them~