It is with great honor that I write this fic with permission form the great ElfCollaberator himself.
"I still can't believe he gave you his permission to do this?"
I KNOW!
"Wait a minute, where's Burnpool?"
Oh, he is working on a new project with ShepardisaBOSS.
"Wait, you mean that guy he made fun of in the second chapter of Alter Burn?"
Pretty much.
"Oh, he's gonna get f #$ed up for sure."
Most likely. Anyway, on with the fic.
P.S Thank you very, very much Elf!
The camera activates, showing the face (or rather helmet) of Burn the Spartan. "Alright, is this thing working?" he asked himself. In that moment Weiss appeared behind him. "What are you up to now Burn?" She asked. "I'm making a video log for the people of the 'Weiss Reacts' universe." He replied. "Oh, that universe." Weiss said in a monotone voice. "Got anything you want to say to them?" Burn asked. Weiss just stood there thinking for a moment. "To my counterpart in that universe, I recommend that you seek psychiatric help as soon as possible given your current mental state." She said. "Did you just call the 'ElfCollaborator tusundere' version of yourself insane?" Burn asked, surprised that this was coming from an alternate version of Weiss. "Her mind has been broken since the first chapter of the first volume." Weiss said before walking off. "Right, anyway, hello anyone who is hopefully from beacon academy or is a protagonist in that universe, My name is Burn the Spartan, yes I'm a 'halo guy' as you would put it, and I'm part of the RWBY helpers." The red and grey Spartan said.
"You may or may not have seen the PSA we put out a while ago, so I'll just go over what our job is. Basically, if it's not supposed to be in that universe or 'fic' as some people would know it, we go in and try to get rid of it before it ruins the plot. Now I know what you're thinking, 'where were we when those Mary Sues invaded?' Well, we formed our organization because of that incident. But enough about that. Today, I'm just goanna give you a virtual tour of the place and show your version of Weiss that not all universes are 'perverted' as she would put it. Our first stop, the mail room."
Burn aimed the video camera at said room as he walked in. "Some of you may think the mail room is boring, and it is, but I'm just goanna show you something ironic, the head of the mail room, Cinder Fall." He said in an announcer voice. "F#$ you!" Cinder called back. "Hey, keep the down low on the language; they don't like that in Weiss Reacts." Burn said. The former evil mastermind just sighed. "Anyway, Cinder's job is to make sure, A: all the fan fiction authors get their messages, and B: any alternate universe gets mail from another alternate universe. By the way, you should really get your subordinates to clean up this mess Cinder." Burn said as he aimed the camera at the pile of papers then back at Cinder. "I don't have any subordinates left since you reassigned them all to other departments, leaving me here all alone to take care of everything!" She shouted. "Ok, that's enough talking with Cinder. She's got alot of mail to sort out." Burn said as he turned towards the door. "I hate you so much right now." Cinder said in the back ground.
"Next, our legal department. Run by, Roman Torchwick." Burn said as he aimed the camera towards Torchwick. "Is there a reason you're filming everything?" Roman asked. "Just making a video for the people of Weiss Reacts." Burn replied. "Oh, let me guess, Neo gave you the idea for public relations?" "Yep." "Right, anyway, for those of you watching, I'm a lawyer. Unlike most of my counterparts, I decided to quit the crime business and got this gig. Turns out, I'm pretty good at this lawyer stuff." The former crook said. "And yet, another ironic thing for many people." Burn said. "Basically, Torchwick solves legal issues between fan fiction authors and alternate universes." "Pretty much, now if you'll excuse me, I got another one of those 'copied work' things to deal with." Roman said as Burn walked out with the camera.
"And here we have the break room. Nothing to do here but sit around and relax, watch TV, play games, you know, the usual stuff." Burn said as the camera surveyed the room. "Hey Burn." Said a cheerful voice off screen. The camera turns to show Ruby standing there. "What's going on?" She asked. "Just filming a video for Weiss Reacts as a public relations thing." Burn replied from behind the camera. "Oh, ok then." Ruby then turned to look at the camera. "Hey alternate me, me and the rest of teams RWBY and JNPR, along with Burn and his friends, take care of all the problems across the RWBY multiverse." "I would explain the whole 'more than one multiverse' theory I have, but it would probably take too long and you guys would be bored to death." Burn said. "And Weiss, I heard about you killing yourself with a gravity hammer in Halo, don't worry about it. Burn nearly killed himself with one in real life." "Hey, no embarrassing stuff in this video." Burn shouted. "What like how you can't beat Zwei in a fight?" Ruby asked in a mocking tone. "I'd like to see you try beating a little flaming fur ball of death and adorableness." Burn said. "Who do you think taught him?" Ruby smugly said."Oh and Blake, Burn is building a robot version of sonic to outdo your giant drill robot things from Gurren Lagnn." Burn just laughed at that statement. "The Metal Sonic I'm building isn't for outdoing Blake's giant drill robots, its for outdoing Norn. Black Kiryu is for outdoing the giant robots." "You mean to tell me you built a robot version of Godzilla, which is 108 meters tall I might add, just so you can outdo React Blake's mechs?" Ruby asked. "Pretty much." Burn said. "Well, since we don't really know how big Blake's mechs are, we don't know if you succeeded or not." Burn pondered this from behind the camera. "Good point." He said. It was then that the screen started showing static as Slender Man walked in. "Hey Slendy, were making a video for the people of Weiss Reacts, anything you want to add?" Burn asked. The faceless man just stood there waving for a moment. "Wait, Slen D. Man is your cousin?" Burn asked in surprise. Slender just nodded in reply. "Huh, I didn't know that." Ruby said. Then Slender Man disappeared, as he always does. The room was silent for a moment. "Well, on to the next room." Burn said.
"Here we have the launch room. This is where we keep that weird gate thing that I built-" "And I modified." Ruby interrupted. "Yeah, that I built and Ruby modified, to travel across the different universes." Burn finished. It was then that El Mattador de Crazy appeared. "Hey Burn." He said. "Hey Matt, were making a video for Weiss Reacts, anything you want to say or do?" Burn asked. It was at that moment that Matt pulled out his rocket launcher, pointed it at the floor, screamed 'ISHBACKA', and pulled the trigger, blowing up the floor and knocking the camera out of Burn's hands and onto the floor. "Matt, was that really necessary?" Ruby asked from off screen. "I just wanted to show that version of Weiss my suicide bombing skills." Matt replied. "I think that the Reacts version of Weiss is mentally deranged enough as it is, we don't need to add more fuel to the fire." Burn replied. "But it's funny to see them try to process how I can survive blowing myself up." Matt countered. "Ok, I admit, it is a little funny." Burn said. It was then that Yang picked up the camera and brought it to Burn. "Hey, you dropped this." Yang said. "Thanks." Burn said as he took the camera back. "So, what are you doing?" She asked. "Just filming a video for Weiss Reacts, man I'm explaining this a lot for some reason." Burn said. "Anything you want to say to your counterpart or anyone else?" "I would just like to point out to Reacts Weiss that not all Yangs are deviants. Some of them, myself included, have a higher sense of dignity compared to yours. So don't throw me in the same lot as your Yang." She said. "And yet, you still have an immature sense of humor." Weiss said as she walked in. "Hey, Ed, Edd, n Eddy is a funny show and you know it." Yang replied. "You do know that you literally sound like a pig when you're snorting and laughing, right?" Weiss says. "You wanna go Schnee, cause I am ready to go to war right now!" Yang said as she raised her fist. "Ok, I think we should move on before these two start the World War 1: RWBY edition." Burn said as he walked away.
"And here is the shooting range." Burn said. The Spartan then aims the camera at Ren and Nora, the former who was practicing while the latter was observing. "Miss." Nora said as Ren missed another shot. She repeated this 12 times before Ren intervened. "Nora, please stop talking." He said in a calm voice. "Ok." She replied and remained silent as Ren started to hit his targets. "Hey guys, I'm making a video for the Weiss Reacts universe, anything you want to add?" Burn said. The two just stared at the camera for a moment. "I would just like to point out that other me is way too crazy." Nora said. "Wow, so crazy that even different versions of yourself think you're nuts. Great job Reacts Nora." Burn said. "And what about you Ren, anything you want to say to your alternate counterpart." "Though I don't take part in antics, I find my counterparts antics to be amusing and hope he continues them." He said. "It's true, he laughs so hard he falls out of his chair every time some new antic happens." Nora said. "I never really saw you as the type to support antics Ren." Burn said. "I support them, I just don't do them." Ren replied. "Right, anyway, next room." Burn said.
"This is our motivational center, run by Cardin Winchester." Burn said. As the camera showed Cardin, dressed in casual attire, sitting at a desk. "His job is to motivate people from alternate universes if they feel inadequate." Cardin waved at the camera. "Hey Cardin, anything you want to say to Weiss Reacts you?" Burn asked. "I would just like to thank him for showing me and other versions of me that we can do good things and we can redeem ourselves." Cardin said. "As you can see, there are some Cardins that are following your example Reacts Cardin." Burn said. "BTW, where's the rest of your team?" "They're starting a multi dimensional program that will show other versions of Team CRDL that they can change and be good people." Cardin replied. "They didn't like being portrayed as the jerks of the RWBY multiverse so they decided to do something about it." "That's nice." Burn said. "Well, next stop on our tour, the 'whatever you call the place that takes peoples phone calls' room."
"And this is where our version of Velvet works." Burn said as he aims the camera at the door. "Now, our Velvet isn't like yours. She is rather aggressive and loud so you may want to turn the volume down on whatever you are watching this on." Burn then opened the door. "P%#$ OFF YOU BLOODY TWIT!" Velvet screamed as she slammed the phone down. She then looked at Burn and his camera. "GET THAT F $#ING THING AWAY FROM ME YOU STUPID F#%$ !" Burn then immediately slammed the door. "Ok, moving on now."
"And here we have the newly created public relations center ran by Neo." Burn said in a slightly bored voice. He aimed the camera at Neo, who was smiling brightly and waving. "Yay, you took my advice." Neo said. "Yeah, because you wouldn't stop pestering me to do it." Burn replied. "So, which universe are you going to send it?" Neo asked. "The Weiss Reacts verse." Burn said. "Oh, that's nice." Neo said cheerfully. "Anything you want to say to your other self if she is watching this?" Burn asked. "Just keep on smiling and have a very bright day other me." Neo said as she smiled cheerfully. "Alright, we're going to move on now." Burn said. "Bye, bye." Neo said in the background.
"I am so sorry to have exposed you to that." Burn said. "She is just so cheerful it's annoying." Burn then turned the camera to show Blake walking along, holding what appeared to be a new book in her hand. "Hey Blake, I'm making a video for the Weiss Reacts universe, anything you want to add?" Burn asked. Blake turned to stare at the camera. "While I may not share my counterpart's obsession with manliness, if she is watching this, I do agree that cannon me doesn't fight enough." She said. "Ok then, hey, is that a new book?" Burn asked. "Yes, it's one from the halo series. I enjoy them due to the suspense and the fact that there is always a moral debate that can keep the reader conflicted as to whether the protagonist is doing good or bad." She replied. "Bored now, moving on." Burn said as he aimed the camera the other direction and walked away. "Why do I even bother?" Blake's voice could be heard from the background.
"This is the training room, the two currently occupying it are our version of RWBYsarus and Bruce, my flying talking cybernetic great white shark who can breathe on land." Burn said. He aims the camera to show RWBYsarus and Bruce tearing apart the last of a series of training drones. "Hey guys, how is it going?" Burn asked. RWBYsarus just yelped slightly in response. "Hey, I was beating you, I got more kills." Bruce said. RWBYsarus barked back as the two stared at each other. "You can continue your competition later; right now I would like to know if you guys have anything to say to the people of the Weiss Reacts universe." Burn said. RWBYsarus gave a growl. "What do you mean your counterpart, or 'Sir Lysger' as he prefers to be called, isn't awesome?" Bruce asked. RWBYsarus roared in response. "He doesn't act like a dinosaur?" Burn asked. RWBYsarus just nodded his head. "You have a point." Bruce said before looking at the camera. "And for the record, yes Reacts Weiss I am a shark, which can talk because of my cybernetic enhancements, breathe on land, and fly. Don't get too excited because I am not meant for hugging. I am a shark for crying out loud! A killing and eating machine! How do you find that adorable?" "Our Weiss thinks she is psychotic." Burn said. "That explains everything!" Bruce said. Then a beeping sound filled the air as a small red holographic Spartan appeared before the two creatures and Burn. "Ok guys, times up, you're goanna have to leave the training room. It's Pyrrah's turn." Rico said. "And this is Rico, our high tech state of the art smart A.I." Burn said. "Ah, I see you're doing that video project that Neo kept bothering you about." Rico said. "Yeah, I plan on sending it to the Weiss Reacts universe." Burn said. It was then that a gold and brown Spartan appeared. "You do realize that the only way for them to receive your video is if ElfCollaborator reads this in a universe where it is fan fiction right?" He asked. "I know Hicks." Burn said. "What makes you think he is goanna read this?" "It's about his fan fic, of course he is going to read it." "Oh please, if Elf reads this, I'm goanna wear pink armor and run across the multiverse screaming 'White Rose forever'." Hicks said. "Well, we will know when he does, right Rico?" Burn asked. "Yep, ever since we connected to the fan fiction archives of pretty much every universe we will know if he reads this or not."Rico said. "Whatever, he's not going to read it." Hicks said as he walked off. "Get the pink suit ready." Burn whispered when Hicks was out of hearing range.
"And here we have the mess hall. I believe that I don't have to say what this place is for." Burn said. The camera then is aimed at Jaune, Neptune, and Sun at one of the tables. "So I tell him, 'hey numb nuts, the next time you try multiversal conquest, at least don't wear rubber ducky underwear'." Jaune said as he finished his story. "I've heard funnier." Neptune replied. "Aw come on, that was comedy gold right there." Jaune countered. "No, that was more like comedy bronze." Sun said. "Oh shut up, you dance to gangman style when you think no one is watching." Jaune said. "Well, at least I don't listen to spice girls." Sun retorted. "It was one time and the radio was broken." Jaune shouted. "Hey guys, I'm making a video for the people of the Weiss Reacts universe, anything you want to say?" Burn asked. "I don't really think I can say anything since Reacts me doesn't appear that much." Neptune replied. "I would just like to say, just because Michael voices me in the show, doesn't mean that I rage quite or get as aggressive as he does." Sun said. "Hey other me, if you want to get away from that whole harem thing you got going on for a while, I recommend this universe. Everyone here has a natural immunity to harems. It's like they don't even notice them at all." Jaune said. "Who needs a harem, when you can have a bunch of awesome guns and explosive stuff?" Burn asked. "Well, gotta go."
"Well, that about wraps up our tour." Burn said. "EXCEPT FOR-" "Burn, you forgot my department." Emerald said as she walked in. "Oh, right. Emerald and Mercury are in charge of the Financial department. They advise the people of the RWBY multiverse on how to spend their money." Burn said. "But, couldn't you show them where we work?" Emerald asks. "Sorry, gotta do something awesome before the video ends. Thanks for visiting, bye." Burn said quickly as he threw Emerald out. "Well that about does it. EXCEPT FOR THIS!" Burn said as he aimed the camera up at Black Kiryu, the dark MechaGodzilla. "108 meters of guns, lasers, missiles, and yes Reacts Blake, there is a drill." Burn said. The giant robot then raised one of its hands. Said hand then morphed into a drill. "You may have based your mech on manliness and spiral energy, but can it beat an even bigger mech based on Godzilla power and bada$#ery?!" Burn shouted. The Spartan then started laughing manically. "Ok Burn, that's enough for today." Ruby said as she walked in and took the camera. "Well, at least I showed them my awesome kaiju mech." Burn said. "Now all we have to do is send the video, and the means to make a response video if they choose to, and were good." "Right, anyway, I hope you guys found this video informative and enjoyable to a degree. Thanks for watching if you did and bye." Ruby said as she turned the camera off.