A/N: READ THIS!!! lol, so you don't really have to read this, but I'd appreciate it! 'Lo! I'm Zim, authoress of this little fic. I'm re-posting this because I've fixed the format, I hope. I've gotten a few comments on that. ^_^* eh, I try. Damn Windows XP. I was also told to maybe drop the fangirl Japanese. My response? :::sticks tongue our anime-style::: there's a fangirl move for y'all! Anyone who would like to get ahold of me other than a review, I's love to talk to you! My e-mail address and IM screen-name is AmoebaFive@aol.com. Enjoy the fic!
Anyway, this is my songfic. I love writing songfics, so here's another one for the masses! The song is called Whisper a Prayer to the Moon by Eleanor McEvoy from her CD What's Following Me? Really good CD. As soon as I heard this song I knew it was meant for Vash and Meryl!
Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I do not own either Trigun or the characters. I don't even own the Trigun DVD's that I watch whenever I get the chance. Those a Chuck's. U_U Also, I don't own the song Whisper a Prayer to the Moon, but if I could write songs that good, I would.
Meryl stood silently at the door. Watching as he tended to his brother's
wounds. He was tender and careful not to pain the unconscious man that he himself
had shot. Finally, he stood and walked over to her, still watching his brother's
sleeping form.
*In case of loving unreturned*
*Unrequited fingers burned*
*Don't you blame yourself at all*
"How is he?" Meryl finally asked, turning to face the tall blonde man standing beside her.
Vash sighed and looked down at her, his teal eyes finned with sadness and regret. "He's going to pull through fine."
"That's good," she said, averting her eyes to study the floor nervously. Every moment with Vash since his return from the desert with his brother had been like this one, a tension hanging between them with words unspoken. How could she tell him what she wanted too? Where were the words that she had practiced countless times while he was gone, in preparation for this moment? "Vash-san, I..." she started, struggling to find the words she needed so desperately to say.
"Yes, Meryl?" he turned to face her fully. Her eyes widened in shock; he had called her by her name, her actual name. He hadn't said, "Yes, Insurance Girl?" or "Yes, Meryl-chan?" He had called her Meryl turned and met his eyes.
"I-I-" she stammered, unable to think, to breath. Nothing seem to exist outside this moment and all she could see was Vash's eyes, trained solely on her. They were the most amazing color she had ever seen, not blue and not green, simply Vash's eyes. She was drowning in them, consumed by them.
"I think you did the right thing," she said, looking away from him, her courage gone.
"I don't know," he said quietly and sighed, "Maybe there was another way, something else I could have done to avoid hurting him."
*There is no blame, there is no crime*
*This madness happens all the time*
*With nothing there to break your fall*
Meryl smiled sadly. "Of course there was another way out, there always is." Vash looked at her curiously out of the corner of his eye. She continued, "You could have simply killed him, or gotten shot yourself. You didn't die though and you didn't kill your brother, you just did what you thought was the best decision at the time. You made the choice that ended in the least amount of sacrifice. No one can ask anything more from you, Vash."
Vash simply shook his head in awe. Reaching out, he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her petite build and resting his chin on the top of her head. "You never cease to amaze me, Meryl." He leaned down and placed a light kiss on her forehead, as she stood there in shook, her cheeks glowing pink. "Goodnight."
"She watched him as he went into his own room, next to his brother's, and shut the door softly behind him. He looked so sad and there was nothing she could do help him. She could help him tend to the physical wounds that he got, but how could she heal the emotional ones?
*I understand how hard it's been*
*I've been there too and I have seen*
*What running after love can do*
Meryl sighed and turned to watch the unconscious form of Vash's brother, reminding herself all she could do was love him. Love was the only thing she had to offer the tall gunman. He had saved her time and time again, it was her fault that he had been forced to kill, but when she tried to tell him that, he just smiled his sad smile and told her he would never have let anything happen to her and Milly. When she first met him, she thought he was nothing but a lecherous goofy man and now she knew that he was so much more than that, and somewhere between the strange pastry obsession and the constant running from one town to another, she had fallen in love with him.
Breaking from her thought pattern, she walked over to Knives' bed and looked down at him. His features were far rounder than his brother's and his nose longer. She wasn't sure what color his eyes were, but she was sure they were nothing compared to Vash's. His hair was lighter than Vash's too and he didn't have the mole under his left eye, but overall he was a decent enough looking man.
Meryl found it hard to believe that this was the man that had caused so much pain and suffering throughout the world. This man had killed countless amounts of people, and somehow justifying it in his own eyes. He was the one who had forced Vash to destroy both July and Augusta, to teach his brother of his powers. He was the reason that Wolfwood was dead and Milly cried herself to sleep at night. He had killed his surrogate mother and the first woman that Vash had ever loved, Rem. He was the reason that Vash sometimes cried for no apparent reason and regarded people with an empty smile, because of all the pain that had been wrought upon his heart by his own twin.
*That feeling deep down in your soul*
*That searing, empty, gaping hole*
*Has dug a hole in my life too*
Meryl looked down at the sleeping man, a look of hatred across her round features. "For Vash," she whispered, though she doubted he heard her, "I wish you could see the pain he endures because of you. The people he will never know because he distances himself to protect them. For him, I wish you could live through what he's been through. Even with all the things you've done, for him I wish that I could forgive you." A single tear slid down her cheek and fell upon the clean cotton sheets of the bed. She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her nightgown and padded silently out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.
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Meryl rubbed her eyes as she made her way into the kitchen, both the aroma
and sounds of breakfast beings cooked attacking her dulled senses.
"Good morning!" Vash said cheerfully from the stove, still in his pajamas as he cooked the eggs. She smiled sleepily at him and sat down at the table, waiting for him to finish with the food. Milly was nowhere to be seen, probably still sound asleep, which didn't really worry Meryl too much, Milly was known to sleep in whenever she got the opportunity.
Suddenly, Vash yelped from the stove and there was a loud clatter as he dropped the hot pan of the floor, eggs splattering everywhere.
"Oh, Vash-san, are you alright?" Meryl asked, rushing over to see what was wrong. He had burnt his fingers on the hot pan, trying to scoop the eggs onto their plates and was holding his burn hand carefully, tears welling up in his eyes.
*My darling, my darling*
*So crazy, so charming*
*It's just that it happened so soon*
*But I send you my wishes*
*My hugs and my kisses*
*And whisper a prayer to the moon*
"I'm alright," Vash sniffed as Meryl took his large hand in both of her small ones and led him over to the sink. Turning on the cold water she held his hand firmly under the running water until the red had subsided a little bit. He had expected her to yell at him for ruining breakfast, so her gentle actions shocked him a little. He kept those thoughts to himself, in case she remembered to be mad at him for being a klutz.
Meryl let go of his hand and rummaged around in the cupboard, standing on her tiptoes to reach whatever it was she was looking for. Vash found himself musing at how cute she looked, her arms stretched up, causing the shirt she wore for a nightshirt to reveal even more of her thighs. He shook the thoughts from his head as she gently took his hand again and rubbed some ointment into the burn and wrapped it with some gauze.
"There," she said, looking up at him and smiling. For no reason, he felt himself blushing. She held his hand for a second longer before realizing such and quickly dropped it as if it had burnt her too. "I guess we'll have to get something else for breakfast." Meryl said, a slight blush creeping across her features. "How about we get dressed and go out? I know a bakery that should probably be done with their first batch of donuts..."
Vash's eyes lit up and before she could say anything more, he had already
run to his room to get dressed.
*************************************************************************
People watched the couple warily as they made their way through the small town square, him holding a large bag of doughnuts and listening to her as she told him of all the things he had missed while he was in the desert. They looked completely happy together as they made their way to a small bench and sat down, sharing the bag of pastries.
"And so the other day," Meryl said through a mouthful of doughnut, "right before you came back, they struck water. Milly really helped a lot." Vash nodded as he inhaled one donut after another, happily munching away at the small fried rings. "Really," she continued, "I don't think we've ever been happier, the two of us. Of course Milly still thinks of him, but she's always been one to pull through no matter what. I really envy her for that, if you hadn't come back..." she cut herself off, realizing what she had almost let slip. 'If you hadn't come back, I don't know how I could have gone on with my life.'
Vash nodded, letting the comment slip by, knowing that she would never forgive him if he said anything about it.
*In case you've lost your faith in life*
*In case you cannot sleep at night*
*Be certain this will take its toll*
"I know what you mean," he gulped down another donut, "Milly acts as if nothing is wrong, even though you can see it in her eyes sometimes. I can hear her at night, though, crying."
Meryl studied the ground sadly. "I know, I hear her, too. Every time I go to comfort her, though, she tells me she's fine and that I needn't worry about her. I wish there was something more I could do for her..."
"What keeps you awake at night, Meryl?" he asked, completely catching her off guard. She looked at him, but he was studying the bag of donuts in his lap. "I hear you," he continued, "I hear you in your room, moving around. You never seem to sleep anymore, Insurance Girl. When you do, I can hear you cry out in your sleep. What do you dream that's so bad that you call out?"
"What," she asked him, her eyes wide with shock. She knew what the dreams were, they were always the same. Vash leaving her, Vash dying, when Vash was forced to kill because of her. Her dreams were always of him and they hurt her. She hated falling asleep anymore for fear of what would be awaiting her in her own mind. "What do you hear?"
"You cry, Meryl," he said simply, his voice sad.
"I know," she said quietly and looked down at the ground, a single tear slipping down her cheek to fall on the parched desert ground. Suddenly, she felt a warm hand engulfing her own. She looked up at Vash, her breath caught in her throat as her mind swam. 'Tell him!' her mind screamed, but no words came to her mouth. She couldn't even speak as he pulled her close to him and embraced her, his spiky hair tickling her cheek.
*I recognize those waves of pain*
*I've known them time and time again*
*And would not wish them on a soul*
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice barley audible, meant only for her ears. "I'm sorry that you cry because of me, Meryl."
"I know," she said, her voice no louder than his had been, "but I'm sorry you have to hurt because of me." She wrapped her arms around him and they sat like that, the donuts laying forgotten at their feet. Rather than two people simply existing together in that place in time, it was if they lived outside of everything. One existing because of the other, two entities that lived and breathed as one, twined together on a bench in the middle of the town square.
*************************************************************************
Milly watched her two friends as they poked at their food, neither meeting the other's eyes. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she tried to figure out what had happened that morning while she was still sleeping. She knew that they had gone out for doughnuts and hadn't come back until well past noon, but since then they had both been silent. When Vash's hand had bumped Meryl's as they both reached for the butter, they both blushed like little kids.
"ALRIGHT!" the tall brunette finally said, unable to find any other solution, "What the heck happened?! Sempai, you and Vash-san haven't said more than two words to each other since you got back the afternoon, and I want to know what's going on!"
The couple looked at her stuned for a momment before they both started to blush madly.
"NOTHING HAPPENED, MILLY!" Meryl said, her voice cracking nervously and far too loud to be inconspicuios, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"
"YEAH NOTHING!" Vash said, just as loudly, scratching the back of his head nervously.
Milly sighed, "Fine, you DON'T have to tell me, but you two had better stop acting so weird or I'm going to get to the bottom of this!" She took a bite of her mashed potatoes and gave them a look that said if they didn't start talking soon, she would strangle both of them.
*My darling, my darling*
*So crazy, so charming*
*It's just that it happened too soon*
*But I send you my wishes*
*My hugs and my kisses*
*And whisper a prayer to the moon*
Meryl looked at Vash, her heart pounding wildly. "S-so, Vash, um, how's Knives?" she asked, trying to break the uncompfortable silence that had fallen between them since that afternoon.
"Oh," Vash answered, his voice equally shaky, "he's fine. I'm thinking that I need to take him to the Fallen Ship, though. He hasn't woken up yet and I'm thinking that he needs some attention for his wounds."
"Oh?!" Meryl asked, generally surprised. The Fallen Ship was more than 200 iles away and would be another long trip, and probably another dangerous one as well. "I thought maybe you were going to stay here for awhile." She tried to cover the hurt in her voice, but she knew that he heard it.
He smiled sadly. "I think maybe the people there would be good for him. They at least KNOW what we are, even if they don't understand us."
"I understand you," Meryl whispered, inaudible, or so she thought.
"I know you do," Vash said, squeezing her hand lightly under the table where Milly wouldn't see, "so you understand why I have to do this."
"I do," she said sadly, then flashed a bright fake smile, "WELL! I have to go finish up some paper work before bed! If Vash the Stampede is going to be traveling again, I guess that we'll have to be going as well!"
Vash smiled and watched her run up the stairs towards her room.
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Meryl snapped the latch of the small pink rolling case that she traveled with and looked around the room, as if seeing it for the first time. The walls were a light yellow, with paint chipping and peeling in the corners. Her bed was neatly made with the white cotton sheets tucked neatly into the corners. The desk was against the wall opposite of the bed, her paperwork that was usually scattered across the top of it already packed away.
*In cases lying by your door*
*My life is packed to go once more*
*With no intent to deceive*
"Will you miss it?" a voice said from the doorway behind her. She turned and smiled at Vash.
"A little," she answered truthfully, "it felt like home to me. There are some things, though, that are more important in life." She could feel his eyes on the top of her head as she studdied her feet, unable to look him in the eyes, not wanting to see his reaction.
Like what?" he asked, his voice oddly horse. She looked up at him and met his eyes. For the first time, she found that she wasn't afraid anymore. Not afraid to tell him how she felt, not afraid to take a chance for the man she loved.
"Like following your heart," she answered, her voice unwavering. He watched her for a moment, his face unreadable, before he broke into a smile.
"I'm glad," he whispered, his breath stirring against her lips before he brought them forward to meet with hers. She felt a spark rush through her entire being as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Their breath mingled as he held her close, teasing her lips with his own, letting all the words they couldn't say be expressed in some other way.
"Um, excuse me," Milly said from behind them, clearing her throat loudly. They broke apart instantly, like teens caught doing something they know they shouldn't have, both of their faces flushed a color that rivaled Vash's old coat. Milly smiled broadly, "I just wanted to say that I got Knives-san on the streacher like you asked Vash-san and I'm ready whenever you two, ahem, are ready."
"Thanks," Vash mumbled, blushing once again. Milly giggled as she walked off
again.
*Please bear no grudge, just bear your soul*
*It's hardly bearable to go*
*And barely possible to leave*
Meryl grabbed the handle of her bag and wheeled it out into the hall. "I guess we'd better get ready then!" Vash smiled and looked back into the room where they had shared their first, but certainly not last kiss and turned, closing the door behind him.
*************************************************************************
"Oh, I'll miss you!" Milly said, tears flowing down her cheeks as she hugged yet another person who was there to see them off. People in the town had definatly warmed up to the tall girl who had helped them build their well and made them smile with her silly ways.
Meryl smiled watching her friend as she shook hands with a tall man and his friend. Vash stood beside her, is trademark glasses pearched on the bridge of his long nose, sheilding is eyes from the light of the setting suns. Beside him, his brother lay wrapped securely in a stretcher that him and Milly planed to carry onto the bus that awaited them.
*My sweet tempered angel*
*I wish I were able*
*To heal all the hurt with a tune*
*And if I had the powers*
*I would give you the stars*
*The sun and the light of the moon*
As they made their way towards the bus, Milly waving back at all the town's folk with one a hand and almost dropping Knives, Vash began to hum a fimilar tune. Meryl sang along softly, "Oh, one the first evening a pebble, from somewhere out of nowhere..." Vash smiled down at her. "You like that song a lot, huh?" Meryl asked, knowing there was more to it
than a simply affinaty with the song.
"Yeah," Vash answered, "but you know, I don't think I'll need to sing it as much anymore. I think I'll have other things to compfort me now."
*My darling, my darling*
*So crazy, so charming*
*It's just that it happened too soon*
*But I send you my wishes*
*My hugs and my kisses*
*And whisper a prayer to the moon*
Meryl raised her eybrow in amusment. "Oh, really and what might those be?" He just shrugged and smiled. They had made their way to the back of the bus and Milly helped Vash position his brother on the strecher so that he would be out of the way and compfortable.
Meryl laughed and sat down next to the window, Vash sitting next to her. "You're such a lecherous, schemeing, goofy, needle-noggined, good for nothing outlaw!" Before she continue her list of his faults, he silenced her with a deep passionate kiss and wrapped his arms around her waist. She pulled away from him and rested her forhead against his. "And," she said breathlessly, I love you anyway."
"I love you too," he whispered and pulled her into the curve of his arm as the bus roared to life. Meryl watched as they pulled away from the small town and it became just another speck on the horizon. Vash played with her short locks of hair as she watched the stars spark to life in the darkening sky. Looking up to the fifth moon, she let her eyes rest on the crater in its rough face. She could feel Vash's steady breathing and his warmth at her back, reassuring her that this was all real, not just another hopeful dream.
*I whisper a prayer*
*I whisper a prayer*
*I whisper a prayer to the moon*
"I love you," she whispered settleing herself into his warmth and closing her eyes, "Vash the Stampede."
A/N: AAAAAWWWWWWWW! I like it! As if I didn't talk enough at the begining, here's some more! I really hope you liked! Also, to all my friends who know me and read this: this wasn't as hard for me to write as you all thought it would be! Even I have a romantic, fluff-loving side! Believe it or not. PLEASE REVIEW! I love to know what everyone thinks and who has read, that way I am encouraged to write more...^_^. If you liked this story you might be interested in my original story on FictionPress.net: Divide. It's very good.
~Zim~