Young and Beautiful

Leave it to Debbie to die on one of the most beautiful days Pittsburgh had seen that summer. The sun shined on the river and it seemed their little section of Liberty Ave. had just begun cleaning up after Pride weekend. There were still rainbows everywhere, paving the way for their most loved mother on her trip to the sky. Michael had called Brian, his words sputtered through deep heaving sobs as he told his best friend. She had been battling cancer, having been told that it had spread from her liver to her lungs, everyone knew she had a limited amount of time left. She hadn't wanted to take anymore chemo. She had wanted to die how she had lived, loudly, boldly, and exactly how she wanted to. She saw the Parade from her wheelchair, every single one of them marching with PFLAG that year. It had been her only request, and no one could deny her. Her makeup had been flawless, the scarf on her head a bold rainbow and a sign on her lap saying "I LOVE MY ENTIRE GAY FAMILY". No one could wipe the smile from her face.

Brian had been the one pushing her, Michaels' hand never leaving hers on one side, Carl next to her on the other. Justin was locked to Brian's side, a smile brighter than the sun adorned upon his face. He knew Brian would be the only one to see how much he was dying inside. Much the same as Brian knew only Justin would see how hard of a time he was having keeping himself together. Jokingly they had smoked a lot of Debbie's medical marijuana that morning before the parade. It was probably the only thing keeping Brian from bolting. Justin knew this was ripping him apart. She was only 59 years old.

Justin had stayed in town after Pride. Truthfully, his stays here had become longer then his goes there. He loved New York City, but he his work could be done anywhere. His connections, his work, had made itself known in the art world of the city he had run to and now he realized he yearned more for the times he was safely tucked in the arms of his lover then the cold days he spent in the studio apartment he kept there. Brian had stayed in Pittsburgh, allowing his work to rise to the level of his former predecessors that told him his own business would never reach their level. It had taken him less than five years.

He knew from the instant tears that gathered in Brian's eyes exactly what happened. Brian's cool façade dropped in a heartbeat as anguish replaced it. He felt the black charcoal drop from his hand because the face he had been sketching was not what it was a minute ago. Oh how a minute changes so many things.

Justin did not hear him hang up the phone. He heard an awful noise rip through his consciousness as he soon realized it was his own cries. Brian had slipped from the bed, his own sobs wracked through his chest as he immediately went for the bottle of whiskey sitting on the island in the kitchen. Twisting the cap, he chugged a mouthful before walking forward and handing the bottle to the blond, swallowing and then surging forward to urgently kiss him. His hands tangled through long blond strands, the tears mixing on their faces as Justin wrapped his arms around the broken Adonis in front of him. The bottle was gripped tightly in his hands as Brian broke away and started opening every window in the apartment. The gorgeous breeze that broke through the loft danced with the sunlight through the freshly opened tall breezy curtains.

Brian laughed, he actually laughed through the sob that broke through. His eyes met blue endless diamonds that shook him down to his very soul. He was swept away every time he looked in them. An endless sea of Justin.

"Leave it to that broad to die on the most beautiful day I can remember in this town."

Justin guessed it might be a little faux pas to make such a comment so shortly after hearing of the death of the only woman he could call his Mom. But Justin knew he was right. Absolutely correct in saying that leave it to Debbie to die on the Monday following Pride. Such a simple day for such an extraordinary woman to die. But it seemed so completely right. Justin stepped closer to the window as Brian pulled a joint from his stash to light. He knew it was why she gave him the rest of her stash before going home with Carl the night of Pride. They had joined them for a single drink at Woody's before Debbie pushed the rest of the half she had been given down Brian's pants. She smiled at him lovingly, patted the package and winked at him, and left shortly after. She had kissed him on the cheek, smacking his face lightly.

"I love you kid. I might not've given birth to ya, but you're mine do you understand me?"

He could do nothing but nod his head, feeling 13 years old again, when she had hugged him for the first time. He leaned down so she could kiss his forehead, and kissed her cheek as he stood back up.

"I love you Mom."

It had been his last words to her.

He inhaled deeply as he felt another set of hot tears run down his face, his pathetic attempt to hide his sniffles before he exhaled not lost on his partner. He also knew Brian wasn't simply crying because of Debbie. No cancer survivor is ever not terrified when they hear of the loss of someone from cancer. The rush of mortality is like a knife to the soul as you realize that the possibility of it happening again can be astronomical. Brian was 43. He never thought he would make it this far. He long thought he would be in his grave, having overdosed or eventually given in to the desire to go out in a blaze of glory. But life had proven worth it. He had been king. He had done whatever he wanted and gone anywhere he pleased. He had ruled his kingdom with endless lights, with nights that had endless music, and endless pleasure. He had ruled his kingdom and passed the reigns on to he who came after him. The new king of Liberty Ave. But 43 meant he had still another lifetime ahead of him. But as a realist he always had that black cloud in the background of his mind. No one was guaranteed tomorrow. Of all people, Brian and Justin both knew that. So Justin leaned forward as the light danced off his pale skin and stole the exhalation of his breath. The smoke seeped between his lips as Brian's breath remained stolen as he watched the angel with the pale eyelashes in front of him.

Brian had feared early on that Justin would find someone wonderful in the 6 years he had spent in New York. Someone younger, someone who was a better fit for the kid. But through everything it had always come back to them. One always finding their way through their separate paths to find the other. Few words ever described what happened when Brian had first truly realized he loved that kid. Staring into his eyes on that dance floor was quite possibly one of the best moments of his life. Michael had jokingly described it with Star Trek terms one day several years back when Brian made the off hand comment that Brian spent a lot of time in New York. The pain that shot through Brian's eyes was enough to tell Michael that nothing, no distance, no amount of time, would ever separate his best friend and the kid. Mikey had thrown his hands up softly, a smirk playing itself onto his face.

"There's a word in Vulcan that describes what you two have you know. I know it sounds completely nerdy but we're in my comic shop and I'll be a nerd if I please. Spock explains what a "t'hy'la" is. Brother, lover, friend. You are my best friend, but that kid is your soul mate. And spare me the "I don't believe in that Hallmark shit." Because you know I'm right. He aligns every single piece of the young and beautiful Brian Kinney and makes you into the man you are today. I, in all sincerity, thought I was going to put you in an early grave. You mighta saved that kid, but Justin sure as hell saved you too."

Brian knew Mikey had been right. Without him, he would have probably allowed himself to die choking on that damn silk scarf that had become such a tribute to who he and Justin were. Or what stopped him from overdosing when Justin had been bashed. Even to this day, Justin kept Brian grounded. His mere presence battled everything that Brian ever thought would occur in his life.

Continuing to finish smoke, Brian sank down on the floor in front of the couch in his loft. The same place he and Debbie had smoked many times after her diagnosis. He had been the first person to know about her illness, and to this day he would never tell that to Michael. She had come to him, bawling her brains out, terrified, and he sat her down with a joint as he had begun making phone calls to every doctor in Pittsburgh and the surrounding areas. They had been the best of the best and it still hadn't been enough to save her. He felt another choked sob leave him as he thought of the coming days. A funeral that would rival all funerals he knew for sure. He didn't care how much it cost, her farewell would be of epic proportions. She deserved to be celebrated, and she would be.

Justin crawled down onto the floor next to him as he continued to either take a swig of Jack or a hit off the joint. Having taken a second one from his stash, Brian lit it for him as Justin took the bottle. In sync as ever, they shared both until they felt a happy buzz break through their sorrow. They began telling stories, back and forth of stupid small things that she had done, or comments she made. Things she had done for them. Brian told Justin about how many times he had come to her, beaten to a bloody pulp by his two alcoholic parents. She was his mother, and his friend, and he already missed her beyond what he could explain.

"She was the first one to tell me that I would find someone that would always think I was young and beautiful. That I was Brian Kinney for fuck's sake. That someone would break down all the walls I had and break all the rules I invented and rip me to shreds. And I would love them…"

More tears gathered in his eyes as he wiped them away with the back of his hand. A soft laugh escaped him as he took another swig off the rapidly declining amount of whiskey. Looking up, he caught blue eyes looking at him softly, a small smile quirked off the side of his lips.

"And who would take the Brian Kinney manual and tell him to shove it up his ass and eat his fucking chicken soup?"

Brian laughed again as he nodded, leaning closer to the man who evolved from the boy he once knew. Lips brushed against Justin's as Brian sought comfort in his arms. The brunette wrapped the blonde in his arms as he sighed into the kiss. Justin scooted until his sat down softly in Brian's lap, his arms locked around his neck as he rested his forehead against Brian's.

"You will always be young, and you will always be beautiful. But more so, you will always be mine."

Thinking about making this longer, making a two shot to include the actual funeral. Let me know what you think!

Piercedstarling