A/N:
Keep in mind while reading this short side story for Hollow!Akashi, the song "Human" by Daughter. This was partly inspired by the "Unmasked" back story for Ulquiorra by Tite Kubo.
I was born in darkness, and by some twist of nature, I was born white against the black. I saw with my own eyes and through the reflections of others. Memories were not reliable, as they are not substantial things, but they existed in our minds. This was enough evidence to believe them to be true; if these strange eyes of mine could see them, then surely memories must be solid in this world.
It was a lonely existence, winged and horned creatures devouring each other, intoxicated by the stench and metallic taste of blood, and knowing only the shadows from which we were birthed from. Understanding our actions was beyond comprehension from a sane outsider's perspective.
I was like them, winged and man-shaped, but unlike their dark figures, my horns and skin were a translucent and unmarred white. The only color was my crimson eyes, silently observing Hueco Mundo and its cruel inhabitants. Later on, I would discover what I had was what humans called "albinism".
I also had no features to speak, to devour, to smile, to smell, to hear, or to taste. I could not know the taste or smell of blood they were so entranced with.
But with my lack of basic features to sense, I developed something they did not. I grew a fractional amount of intelligence, enough to know I could escape from killing and being killed.
I could decipher the resentment and aversion my brethren held for me, who was looked upon as a beacon of despair. I, myself, had not bothered to kill, feeling that doing so was an unnecessary action in the face of outraged numbers and strength.
They considered me a white sheep among a sea of black rams, the weak link who held preservation above the natural ability to destroy. The atmosphere grew tense in our little pit, as they became wary of the mouth-less pale oddity who would not kill.
My observations from then and now remained the same; my appearance and ideals were different, thus, the bond we would have made was not born. In the darkness of our birthplace, their eyes gleamed dangerously, reflecting their intentions for their unique brother.
Why was I different? What would it feel like if I was one of them? Would "death" give me a renewed sense of feeling?
Though I had stayed pacified up to that point, their killing intent towards me awoke my own instinct to devour and destroy, hidden behind my wall of logic and reserve. They had instead provoked the sleeping demon in sheep's clothing. Thinking nothing of the careless brethren, I accepted their eventual deaths and defeat as weakness of the normal, and survival of the strong.
Allowing instinct to take over, my vision was consumed by a hazy red and another color I now knew as yellow. After everything was over, I found myself bleeding those same colors from each eye like tears, laying next to a dark crevice in the ground I assumed was my former home.
The paleness of the crescent moon shone overhead, and I was temporarily dazzled by it's brightness against the starless sky and the horizon of empty terrain. I was bored as soon as I discovered the scenery would not change and it would be my only companion on my journey.
Hueco Mundo; it was much larger than I had expected and more barren than our enclosed pit in the earth.
I was alone, hands dripping in the darkening blood of my brethren. The first thing I saw was nothingness and now again I see it clearly. I felt it clearly. That "void".
The almost timeless trek to nothingness, in nothingness, allowed thoughts to surface, resurface, appear, and reappear. This cycle repeated from my time secluded in the chasm they had cleared away for me. All I had really done was ponder and think, and it had added to my current intelligence.
"The things I saw had no meaning, and the things I did not see with these blood-tainted eyes did not exist."
It was a simple and pitiful philosophy, exceptional for one filled with a massive capacity for emptiness.
Walking and walking still, I did not stop, having no hope to find something to replace this feeling.
I had no purpose, and walking was the only thing my meaningless existence could do.
It wasn't until I saw before me, a thing I still "feel" was the exact replica of this "void" living inside my self. It was captivating and magnificent and beautiful, a thing my tainted eyes had never seen before. Stepping into its crystal pure mass, I felt something new. It surged even more as I embraced this "void" deeper until it enveloped my whole physical body.
This feeling I recall now could only be described as—
...happiness.
"Akashi?"
He opened his heterochromatic eyes, to see a certain green-haired man towering over him, an eyebrow cocked behind his glasses. The object in his un-taped hand was strangely familiar, but that was a typical thing to expect of the Espada.
"What is it you need, Shintarou?" Akashi Seijuurou propped himself up, voice unusually firm after being awakened. Who would dare to disturb his rest, if it wasn't something of utmost important?
"I was only wondering if you were alright," Midorima Shintarou pushed his Hollow "mask" up to the bridge of his nose with a taped finger, "since you were mumbling in your sleep."
Mumbling in his sleep? Akashi had not thought to think that maybe he had unconsciously let out Arrancar intelligence while in slumber. He would request to soundproof his quarters as soon as possible, to protect Los Noches and its lord.
"Thank you, for informing me of this," the cuatro Espada then tilted his half helmeted head to peer up at the tall octava Espada with piercing golden and ruby eyes, "but from now on I would advise not to stand at a level above mine."
Midorima shivered under the stare and tone of the smaller Espada, not only from fear, but from the reiatsu the red haired Arrancar had pressurized into his gaze. It was his specialty to intimidate others into doing what he wanted with just a look, an ability he had learned from their "king". His lower rank and respect for the shorter Espada influenced him not to oppose Akashi, knowing the consequences if he did.
"Yes, of course," he obeyed and proceeded to leave the room. At the entrance, Midorima glanced back to pose a quick question. "If you don't mind, Akashi, may I ask what it is you were dreaming about?"
Slightly startled at the sudden inquiry, Akashi flashed a small melancholic smile at him, "You need not worry about such unnecessary things, Shintarou. I was just dreaming of the past."
Akashi's past? That is something he would like to delve into...But if he asked of the higher-ranked Espada's past, then he would have to tell his own in return. Speaking of those memories was something he was not ready to do. Midorima remembered gray-blue eyes, at times sharp, gazing into his intense green ones with such frustration, determination, hope, and despair.
He took a deep intake of breath. The green-haired Espada would not think about the past. In a few moments, he had to attend to watching Oha-Asa and other matters the "king" had assigned to him. There was just one last thing he needed to know from the deceptively smaller Espada, who was now lounging on the bed with closed eyes.
"Akashi, will you be able to play after Oha Asa airs today?"
The blood emperor knit his brow, eyes still shut, as if he was contemplating the question from his fellow Espada. The frown transitioned into a rare genuine smile, faintly glad his expectations were met.
"Midorima Shintarou, you know I would never miss a Shogi match with you."
A/N pt 2:
Akashi is more suitable for Ulquiorra's role because of their narrow view of the world of victory and nonexistent concepts. They just need a person who's willing to change that adamant way of thinking, and it will be revealed in the next chapter.
Also, I would like to note that the chapters are short excerpts of the Hollow!au I'm imagining, since I don't think I'm capable of coming up with a conclusion or a definite beginning to this large potential of an alternate universe. Glimpses will have to do, readers.