Dear Sirius,
It's been almost a week since you… well, do I really have to say it?
They say that I was strong when it happened. Holding harry back. But in reality, I was holding myself back too, with every single piece of strength I had inside of me.
You have no idea how much it hurt telling harry that you were gone. I wanted to deny it myself, I wanted to run into that veil after you, to drag you right back into that room so you could be with me again.
I know that can't happen now. But I still can't get rid of that last piece of hope inside of me, the thought that you will come knocking on my door and then sit down for a cup of tea like nothing happened.
Of course that's impossible, but a man can dream can't he?
This is the second time that I've thought I lost you, and it doesn't get any easier, no matter how many times it has happened.
I guess I really am the last marauder now. Well, the last one that deserves to live. James is dead, peter is working for you-know-who, and now I've lost you.
You have no idea how hard it is. I want to come with you. You promised me that you would never leave me behind, please, don't go where I can't follow.
But, of course, I can't help it now.
You've already gone.
I never really told you this, but thank you.
Thank you for being my friend, despite my… disability.
Thank you for helping me through it.
Thank you for becoming an animangus, I would have never lasted long as a werewolf without you.
Thank you for always being there for me, even when no one else was standing by my side.
I wish you here by my side now. It is when you are gone, that I need you more than ever.
And I also wanted to say that I am sorry.
I am sorry that I couldn't save you.
I was so lucky to have you, and you have saved my life in so many ways. I am sorry that I couldn't save yours.
I should probably stop writing now, but before I go…
I love you Sirius. And I am so lucky to have had you in my life.
From Remus Lupin.