Fioninator, a harry potter fanfic

Many people think that Shrek was Fiona's first love.

But they are WRONG!

Fiona was sent to that castle for a reason. For she had a SECRET love. NO ONE could know about HIM!

His name was…

Was….

Was…

Oh gosh, I'm getting a headache! Alright, his name was…

RONALD WEASLEY!

Da da dum!

Okay, I'm just kidding! That would be too overbearing. So, no, it was really…

Really…

Oh, no, headache again! Alright, it was…

HARRY POTTER!

Okay, so that's not too overbearing. Well, you see, while he was on vacation with the Dursley's (Mrs. Figg had run over one of her cats on her mobile scooter and was mourning its death) in Far Far Away, he met his love of his life before he had ever loved Ginny.

It was summer, and the Dursley's were on vacation to visit their Great Uncle Sam. Harry had just finished his second year of Hogwarts. He was about to turn thirteen when he met…

FIONER! cough cough I mean FIONA!

Well, it was love at first glance. But he had other things on his mind, like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. But Fiona knew that she loved him and had to prove to him that he loved her.

So she killed Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. Of course, Sleeping Beauty was already asleep, so there wasn't much she could do (Prince Charming was late hitching his ride with Fairy God Mother).

When Harry found out, he was angry.

SPITTING ANGRY! spit

So he went to Fiona and said, "How dare you kill them! I loved them!"

So Fiona hypnotized him. TO LOVE HER!

Too bad it didn't work.

Harry cut off her arm.

But, Fairy God Mother sewed it back on.

Then Harry and Fiona fell in love for their love of VIOLENCE!

And then the Dursley's found out. No happily ever after there.

So he went home. Without a first kiss. Or a first hug. This guy is pathetic!

And when Fiona's parents had found out that she had murdered people, they sent her to (Da da dum!) THE TOWER!

Oh, and don't worry, Fiona had some company. Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty were buried in her floor.

And, every once in a while, she rode on her Dragon pet.

Oh, and I forgot. Prince Charming came to the tower to rescue her and started singing:

"I'm too sexy for my shirt

Too sexy for my shirt

So sexy it hurts!"

Oh it hurts.

So, she killed him by cutting off his head with an ax, relieving him of his pain of being so sexy it hurts. And she buried him in her floor.

So, I suggest, if you ever go to the tower…

DON'T!