Laura Prepon knew it was gonna be a long day. She was currently in Berlin, Germany doing press for the third season of the show that gave her the popularity she had today, Orange Is The New Black.
She had just barely landed when she started prepping for the round of interviews that she was going to do with her co-stars, Taylor Schilling and Uzo Aduba, and also Laverne Cox who was joining them a little later into the day.
It was an hour later when there was a knock on her hotel room. She went to the door and opened it to the beaming smile of Uzo. "Hey, girl!" They pulled each other into an embrace, feeling ecstatic to have seen each other again after quite some time. Hiatus meant a few months without seeing each other and barely communicating, so these round of press they were about to do wasn't only about work but also a time to catch up with good old friends. "Come in!"
"It's so good to see you! What time did you arrive?" asked Uzo who had arrived in Berlin the day before, only a short while after Taylor.
"Probably about an hour and a half ago. I feel like my head is spinning but a girl's gotta do her job, right?" Laura chuckled as she sat down with Uzo on one of the couches. "Where's Taylor?"
"Oh, she's still in her room, still being made up but she's almost done. She said she'll be here in a minute."
"Great! So, today we take photos, then two radio interviews then Netflix party tonight?" Laura asked, wanting to make sure that she got their itinerary for today right. She was mostly excited about all the sightseeing they were gonna do today even though she'd been here before. But she loved this city and she knew she would never get tired of roaming around the place if only she had the luxury of time.
"Yes, but not before Tay and us explore a little bit first." Said Uzo, showing the same excitement Laura was feeling about the day.
"That sounds like a plan, girl!" Laura chuckled as she heard another knock on her door, aware that it was Taylor. True enough, when she went to open the door, Taylor was standing in front of her with the biggest smile she could muster.
Almost immediately, their smiles changed into something only the two of them understood. It was that kind of smile you only gave one person, that kind of smile that only existed when that other person's around, that kind of smile that always followed the same smile from the person who's the reason that smile even existed. There was always that unspoken truth between Laura and Taylor about having that smile only for each other but they refused to think that it was anything more than a normal grin and was adamant to think that it was the same damn thing they had for every other person they knew. But it wasn't. And every person who's with them a lot probably knew that.
"Hi," Laura said, almost in a whisper, aware of the eyes that were probably on her and Taylor right now, but not caring because she knew it wasn't going to be that big of a deal anyway.
Uzo was only one of the two people who knew about her and Taylor's past, the other one being Natasha Lyonne, but being two of their greatest friends, they had managed to keep their noses in their own business and had never mentioned about what happened to them before ever again, right after she and Taylor decided on just staying friends.
Both she and Taylor, and probably Uzo and Natasha, too, knew that something changed between them after that thing they had more than a year ago now. At first, it almost caused them their friendship. But both also knew that losing each other was not an option they wanted to take so they decided to talk about it like mature, rational people and completely start with a clean slate, resulting to an even deeper friendship none of them knew they were capable of having.
But Laura would be lying if she said there wasn't a single time when she wondered what would have happened if she and Taylor didn't stop, if only they had kept going on, if only she was a little bit braver.
"Hi," Taylor said, only loud enough for Laura to hear, her smile lighting up the whole damn place. Soon enough, they were hugging each other like they haven't interacted in months when they have just been texting each other for the last couple of weeks now. The Rolling Stone magazine cover photo shoot brought their friendship to a whole new other level and they've been inseparable, albeit through phone calls and text messages, ever since.
"Hm, I see you read the memo about the leather pants," commented Laura as she and Taylor made their way towards Uzo.
"Oh my God, you're wearing leather pants, too!" squealed Taylor as she noticed that both she and Laura were indeed wearing the same kind of pants.
"Yeah, girl," answered Laura as she looked at Taylor only to be met with the blonde's gaze as well. Soon enough, their chuckles turned into those smiles again, both knowing the significance of this continent in their relationship, aware of the fact that even though they've agreed to just be platonic friends, they would always be reminded that at some point in their lives, and probably everyday ever since, they were a lot more than simply just friends.
Meanwhile, Uzo who was still sitting on the couch, silently observing the actions of her two friends. It's been more than a year now and it had been way too obvious to anyone, except probably these two people who were still looking into each other as if it was the last thing left to do, that this thing that they had, whatever they liked to call it, was something a lot more special than they would ever allow themselves to acknowledge.
-o-o-o-
They spent the next hour exploring some parts of the city. It had been a while since the three of them had been together and they revelled in the fact that even though this was supposed to be work, they were in a beautiful country and they were together again and they were having an amazing time. They talked animatedly, laughed a lot, took a million photos and then laughed some more.
Taylor and Laura couldn't even last a whole minute away from each other. It was like there was some magnet that always pulled them together, immediately missing each other's presence as soon as they had to move away from each other for a while. They didn't talk about it, they didn't even acknowledge it, but this was a special place for them and they somehow felt as if they were brought back to that time when it was just the two of them, no doubts nor fear nor complications whatsoever. It was just them and it felt good.
Too bad it couldn't stay that way for as long as they wanted it to.
After that, everything was officially for work as they posed for photos and then went to their first radio interview for the day. It started badly and progressed even worse, with the interviewer even referring to the show as Black is the New Orange twice, both Taylor and Laura fighting the urge to smack the interviewer's head off for being so rude and inappropriate, but they had to act professionally or it was gonna backfire on them. They had to answer his questions as politely as possible, but not being able to stop themselves when that guy asked how they prepared for the show. Laura tried to stop herself from laughing when he mentioned something about a lesbian club, but finally cracked when she noticed Taylor's face, and they both started laughing at the same time.
She and Taylor had actually thought of this before, one pretty drunken night spent on Laura's bed wondering what it would feel like if they went to one. They laughed it off pretty quickly, knowing full well they were going to be able to prepare some other way without having to leave the damn bed.
The show went by pretty slowly for their own liking but thankfully, it was over before things got even worse. Apart from constant meeting of blue and green eyes, in sync movements like they were connected or something, and accidental (or deliberate) brushing of hands, that interview was pretty much a disaster.
They only had a few minutes left before they went to their next radio interview and fortunately, it went a lot better than their first one. There were no awkward questions and the interviewer was nowhere near rude and so when it was over, the first interview was pretty much forgotten and they were already looking forward to a few-hour rest they were gonna get before the Netflix party.
Uzo went back to her hotel room first leaving Laura and Taylor undecided on where they would go next. It wasn't much about whether they would finally part ways for a short while or they were still going to stay together until they had to leave for the party. It was a question of whether they were going to stay at Laura's hotel room, or Taylor's. After a lot of going back and forth, they decided to stay at Laura's.
"God, my feet are aching!" exclaimed Taylor as she kicked off her heels after having sat down beside Laura on the couch.
"Ugh, you tell me," agreed Laura, doing the same thing. "Come on," she suddenly said, waving to Taylor as if she was calling her towards her.
"What?"
"Your feet, gimme."
So Taylor stretched out her legs until her feet were on Laura's lap, her back braced against the arm of the couch. Laura started massaging her feet and Taylor had to stop the moan that threatened to come out of her lips at the wonderful feeling Laura's hands were doing on her feet. "Oh shit, thanks. That feels good." Laura just raised her eyebrows at her and continued massaging her feet, looking away from Taylor and focusing her eyes on her feet instead. "You're always so good with your hands," Taylor said, unable to stop herself.
Laura smirked. "Really?" she asked, still not looking at Taylor. It was the first time Taylor had thrown an innuendo at her and she wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. It had not been easy reaching the place their relationship was at right now and she didn't know if she was going to be able to handle another roller coaster ride if they went back there again.
"Yeah, you know, poker... motorcycles."
"Well, I don't think my hands are necessarily the reason I'm good at playing poker and I'm pretty sure my hands would not be able to do riding motorcycles any good without the help of my other body parts." Laura's mood suddenly shifted and it was as if she had become too aware of everything Taylor was saying and doing. She had worked so hard to be able to tune out every little thing the blonde did but right now, everything felt magnified and put into slow-mo and she knew that only meant one thing. And she didn't like it.
"Right... other things then," Taylor said still waiting for Laura to look at her, confused as to whether she was suddenly acting strangely when they pretty much spent most of the day bound together on their hips.
But fucking finally, Laura looked at her, looking somewhat resigned. "Like what?"
Taylor was taken aback by Laura's face. She didn't understand what it was but her mood had totally changed. There was a hint of hurt in her eyes and she was smiling but that smile didn't quite reach her eyes. So instead of continuing with her harmless teasing, something she thought would be okay since it had been so long since it last happened, she walked the safe path and gave a totally different answer from what she was thinking. "Like cooking?"
Laura just nodded, "Right."
She didn't know what was going on with her. She was fine hours ago. And she had been fine for months now. But there was something about having Taylor close to her, with only the two of them, without the cameras, without their other co-stars, without any prying eyes from the outside world, that was bringing back feelings she wasn't supposed to be having anymore. It was crazy, because it had been too long and she had been over it since she could remember, but one alone time with Taylor and she was back to square one.
Thankfully, Taylor broke the awkward silence and Laura knew she had to pull herself back together before things got out of her control again. "Okay, do you want me to do your feet, too?"
"Yeah, girl. Payback time!"
They were soon back to their supposedly normal selves again, ignoring the sudden shift in their relationship they thought was already stable enough not to be rocked by anything or anyone again.
-o-o-o-
Hours later, they were already at the Netflix party, finally forgetting about the awkward moment that had transpired between them just a while ago. They were now joined by Laverne and they posed for photos with fans and then for the media and also just for their own. The party was great and pretty quickly and a few drinks later, they were all back in each of their hotel rooms exhausted from the whole day's activities.
Laura had just changed into her sleeping clothes when there was a knock on her door. Looking at the clock, she wondered who it might be at this time of the night. When she opened her door, she was surprised to see Taylor still in her dress, smiling at her, looking pretty buzzed.
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
"I can't sleep."
"Maybe it's because you haven't changed yet?" Laura asked, opening the door widely to let Taylor in. The blonde walked towards the couch and settled herself there, resting her head on top of the back of the couch.
"I was about to but I remembered I had to call Carrie and let her know how I'm doing."
Laura had to ignore the strange feeling at the pit of her stomach hearing Taylor address her girlfriend in front of her before she could talk. "Oh, that's good. But I can see that you're not talking to her anymore and yet you still haven't changed."
"I figured I had to say good night to you, too," Taylor said with her eyes closed, her head still thrown back against the back of the couch, obviously a little more drunk than Laura thought.
"You could've just texted me, girl."
"We've been doing that for the past few weeks. Now, we got each other in here and I figured it would be better if we did all our conversations face to face." This time, Taylor looked at Laura, who was still standing by the door. "What are you doing there?"
"What?"
"Why don't you come sit here with me?"
Laura had to stop herself from sighing as she started walking towards Taylor. "Tay, it's late. And we have an early call time tomorrow."
"Do you want me to go?"
The disappointment in Taylor's face caused a lump in Laura's throat and suddenly she didn't want Taylor to go. She wanted her to stay. And she never wanted her to leave. Not again.
But tough shit.
"That's not what I meant—" Laura was cut off when Taylor stood up and started walking past her, on her way to the door. "Hey... Tay..."
Taylor stopped only to look back at her. "I'm sorry... for bothering you."
"You didn't. I just meant—"
"It's okay. I get it." Taylor smiled and it was even more painful to see because it wasn't the kind of smile that they always had for each other. It was that kind she gave her that same day things started falling apart for them. "Good night, Prepon." Taylor leaned into Laura and ever so softly, she pressed a kiss just right on the side of her lips and Laura couldn't stop her eyes from closing at the contact they both haven't had in a really long time, and not in front of forty other people. But before she even knew it, Taylor had pulled away again. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Laura was left to watch Taylor walk away and she couldn't help but feel the not so subtle stab at her chest when she remembered that first time she had to watch Taylor leave knowing she was never coming back.
-o-o-o-
The next day indeed started early, with the four of them having junket interviews. Laura was relieved that she was paired with Laverne and not with Taylor or else those interviews would be awkward and that would be bad for their show. Unsurprisingly, only Uzo came by her hotel room before they all went out and she and Laverne had to go first meaning it had been halfway through the day before she saw Taylor again.
They were getting ready to board their plane on the way to Paris when she saw her, phone in her ear looking really pissed. After a short while, she almost threw her phone in her bag, the same moment she caught Laura looking at her. Taylor remained stoic as she walked on, moving to a seat a little far from everyone.
Laura knew she should just let her be. Even though Taylor was able to tolerate her whenever she was having one of those moods, Laura wasn't sure today counted since she was an ass to the blonde last night. But Taylor looked so upset that before Laura could even realize the consequences of what she was doing, she was already in front of her.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Taylor seemed surprised but got over it in just a short while. "Yeah," she nodded a little, forcing a small smile on her lips.
Laura nodded, trying to debate with herself whether she should just walk away or push her luck. She chose the latter. "Look, I'm sorry about last night. I was just really exhausted... and I know that's not an excuse, so I'm really sorry."
Taylor's features softened hearing this as she gave out a smile again, this time a genuine one. "It's okay. I was too drunk, anyway."
"Yeah, you kind of were."
Both laughed and looked into each other's eyes. By then, all were forgiven.
-o-o-o-
They reached Paris a short while after.
They were only given a few hours of rest before they started prepping for the day's activities: interviews and then the rooftop Netflix party. Everyone was kind of busy that Taylor and Laura barely saw each other so when Laura arrived at the party, her excitement at seeing Taylor went to the roof and they hugged each other as if they haven't seen each other in a long time.
The party was great, it was almost the same at the one in Berlin except this time the disaster of Laura's heel getting stuck pretty much became the topic Laura had not let go for a while. She was with Taylor at one point and she kept complaining about her heel but Taylor just kept laughing at her, having witnessed the whole incident, and soon enough Laura was joining in the laughter, too, shaking her head at her luck tonight.
Overall, though, it was a great night, which Taylor and Laura mostly spent together, talking and laughing and just having fun, finally ignoring everything else that might come with this. The two of them left the party first and they went back to their hotel together in the service car that Netflix had lent them. They were on Laura's doorway when Taylor spoke.
"Still can't believe your fucking heel got stuck?"
"Shut up!" Taylor chuckled and her laughter resonated across the hallway and Laura thought it was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. "I had a great time tonight."
Taylor's laughter had now turned into a smile. "Yeah, me too. You look gorgeous, by the way."
"So do you."
Their voices were getting softer and softer, their bodies getting even more closer. "See you tomorrow?" asked Taylor as she took another step towards Laura when she should have been stepping back.
"Yeah," Laura whispered, her voice raspy and hot. "Yeah, see you tomorrow."
And like there was a magnet between them, they softly leaned into each other pressing their lips, oh so lightly, against each other.
-o-o-o-
The next day was all about photos. They took photos everywhere, mostly with some of the cast of fellow Netflix show, Sense8, but they didn't miss the opportunity to take photos for their own. For a while, Taylor and Laura got away from everyone, strolling the streets of Paris clinging to each other, sometimes even holding hands before they would realize that they were in a public place and they weren't supposed to be doing that. They took photos of each other, photos together and even some with fans.
"We gotta take one in front of the Eiffel Tower!" Taylor suggested excitedly, the thought running through her mind ever since they said their good nights to each other last night.
"What?" Laura chuckled, quite pleased that Taylor was the one who suggested it. She had been wanting to ask Taylor about it ever since earlier today but she wasn't sure if Taylor would be up for it.
"Come on! Please?"
Taylor squinted her eyes in the most adorable way possible and Laura had to fight the urge to kiss her right there before pulling her towards her and kissed her on the top of her head instead. "Fine, let's go."
Taylor squealed and soon enough, their arms were wrapped around each other, in front of the historical sight, in the most romantic city in the world. And that's when everything hit Laura. That same reason she ended things between her and Taylor before, fear that she was falling in love with her friend, and her doubts about what Taylor would feel if she found out, all of those things, they were all back. And they were all clearer and a lot stronger right now.
But the difference this time was that she wasn't planning on running away again.
This time, she was gonna fight for it.
No matter whatever the hell that meant.
-o-o-o-
It was almost ten in the evening and almost an hour of going back and forth with her decision before Laura knocked on Taylor's hotel room. She was so nervous, not having done this ever before, and not sure how everything was going to turn out. But she was decided. She was going to do this.
Taylor must have noticed her slight anxiety and concern was suddenly apparent on her face. "Hey, is everything all right?"
"No," Laura shook her head, feeling air leave her chest as she walked back and forth in front of Taylor, convinced that she had gone crazy for what she was about to do. But it was too much, she missed Taylor too much and the memories they've had a year ago were nagging her like there was no tomorrow and she just couldn't take it any longer.
"What's wrong?" Taylor looked so concerned as she went to steady Laura, gripping both her arms before she cupped her face with both her hands. "Hey, look at me. What's going on? Tell me."
Laura looked Taylor in the eyes before her gaze went down, getting fixated on Taylor's lips. And then without thinking, she pushed Taylor into the wall as her lips crashed against hers, her hands fisting Taylor's shirt as tightly as she could.
At first, Taylor was surprised but when she realized what was going on, she responded to the kiss, opening her mouth, allowing Laura's tongue to dart in, swiping the insides of her mouth with much hunger. Taylor's hands travelled towards Laura's hair, gripping a handful so she could pull the taller woman even closer to her. It went on for a while, both women's hands unable to stay in one position for too long, wanting to feel so much more as their kiss deepened, mouth against mouth, lips against lips, tongue against tongue.
But then Taylor came back to her senses, remembering the woman that she was just talking to before Laura came in, her girlfriend, the only woman she was supposed to be kissing this way. So, as hard as it was for her, she had to push Laura away, breathing deeply as she still felt dizzy over what probably was the best kiss she'd ever have in a long time. "Laura... we can't," she said, in between breaths, "...I can't. I'm with C-carrie now."
Laura felt as if Taylor had just pushed a thousand knives into her chest. "Yeah, you've made it pretty clear," she said it, her tone a little harsh. But it wasn't Taylor she was mad at. She was pissed at herself for doing what she just did. She suddenly felt embarrassed and stupid. How could she think that one kiss would change anything? Taylor had a girlfriend. And she was well aware of that.
"You were the one who ended things between us, Laura. Before anything even started. You were the one who wanted to just fuck. You were the one who walked away when you felt like things were becoming a lot more than that. You were the one who didn't care. So don't you dare use that tone on me."
Taylor's words were sharp, and every word hit Laura right in the chest, leaving a stinging ache within her. "That's not true. I cared."
"Really? Could have fooled me since it was so easy for you to just up and leave."
"You don't understand."
"Then make me!"
"It wasn't easy... I couldn't..."
"What, because of your church?"
"No. It has nothing to do with that."
"Then what? Tell me. Just tell me... anything. Because anything would be a lot easier to accept than me thinking you walked away because you didn't want me."
"Taylor, you know I wanted you. I did. But I was scared. I started feeling... I didn't know how I was supposed to deal with what I felt because this... us... this is not what I was used to, okay? And I'm sorry. I was a coward, I know that. I'm sorry." Laura shook her head and looked at the floor, unable to look at Taylor again, afraid to see the same pain she saw when she told her it was time for them to stop whatever it was that was going on between them. "I'm sorry," she whispered once again, only loud enough for Taylor to hear before she started walking towards the door. Her footsteps were heavy, not wanting to leave but knowing it was the right thing to do. But before she could even grab the door knob, Taylor's hand enveloped her wrist causing her to stop.
"One night."
"What?" Laura finally looked at Taylor, confusion filling her eyes.
"One night. I'll be yours and you'll be mine. One night... and then it's over."
Before Laura could even answer, she was already pinned against the door, Taylor's lips pressed hard against hers.
-o-o-o-
Taylor and Laura spent the night fucking, or having sex, or making love, whatever term among those three was appropriate for two friends who had indescribable feelings for each other. It was almost four in the morning when exhaustion took over their bodies and they became just contented wrapped in a blanket and each other's arms.
They were tired. They had been working the whole day, going all over Paris, doing press junkets and they just spent hours and hours exploring each other's bodies, getting familiarized with each other again, drowning into the wonderful sensation of being touched by each other in every bit of their bodies. Add the fact that they needed to get up in a few hours so they really should be sleeping by now.
Instead they refused to give in to sleep, choosing to spend their last few hours together being the same people they were more than a year ago.
"Do you think we would've made a great couple?" asked Laura, her leg draped over Taylor's while she ran her fingers up and down the blonde's bare arm. They were on their side facing each other, not pulling their gazes away from each other even for just a few seconds.
"Are you kidding me? Of course! I'm a great girlfriend!"
"Yeah, I've seen it." Laura thought sadly, but she had to push that thought deep within her mind because she wanted to spend the rest of her time with Taylor as positively as she could.
Their time together before was a lot longer. There was no need for them to rush. Whenever they felt like doing it, they did so, and it was amazing. But that time did not compare to this. Because right now, this thing that just happened between them, it was way more real than any sex they've had before. This one came with feelings, and even though she wasn't entirely sure what kind of feelings they were for Taylor, considering she was with someone else, this felt a million times better.
"Yeah, I think so, too. I would've been better, though."
"Oh, really?" asked Taylor with a raised eyebrow, feeling giddy and ecstatic, ignoring everything else outside these four walls of her room, her attention only geared towards the beautiful raven-haired that was in front of her right now. "And why do you think so?"
"Because, if I was your girlfriend, I would've made you breakfast every day before we go to work. Then I would also prepare your lunch and dinner. And I'd also teach you how to cook and play poker and I would kiss you like this," she pressed a soft kiss on Taylor's lips, "...every," another one on her cheek, "...minute," another one on her jaw, "...of every," and then a long, lingering kiss back on Taylor's lips that made the blonde suck for air afterwards, "...day."
"Yeah," Taylor agreed, still half-dazed from the feel of Laura's lips against hers, "you would have been the perfect girlfriend."
They spent the next few hours just talking and it was honestly the most amazing time they've had. They kissed and talked and then kissed again and then laughed and then kissed some more until they notice the stream of sunlight going through the blonde's room's window.
They'd gotten quiet all of a sudden, aware of the fact that the clock was ticking and soon enough, the bubble that they had created around them to keep the rest of the world from reaching them, the world they pretended to be just theirs, was almost coming to its end. Then as if the whole world was mocking them, Taylor's phone that was just beside her rang, showing Carrie's face on its screen.
And like an unspoken pact between the two of them, Taylor gripped Laura's arm that was wrapped around her hard, a silent plea for her to hold her tighter, while Laura pulled Taylor closer to her, wrapping her arm around her waist a little more possessively. It was as if someone was gonna take them away from each other right that second and they weren't ready for that. Not just yet.
Taylor just let the phone ring until it stopped. She could feel Laura press her face at the back of her neck, inhaling deeply as her hand balled into a fist pressed against her stomach.
"This is goodbye, isn't it?" Laura asked softly, her voice barely recognizable .
Taylor had to swallow the lump that formed in her throat before she could see. "Y-yeah... I guess it is," her voice cracked and she had to shut her eyes tightly to prevent the tears that were threatening to drop any second, knowing her and Laura's time was almost up. "Promise me this will never be like the first time," Taylor added, her voice almost pleading. "...that it wouldn't take us months to be able to talk to each other again."
"I promise. Nothing's gonna change after this," Laura assured the blonde, pressing a soft kiss on her nape.
Suddenly, Taylor turned around to face her, looking into her eyes before she crashed her lips against her. It was a soft, gentle kiss and this time, it was Laura who had to fight the urge to cry. She kissed her back, all the while wondering how she was going to get out of this room and go back to the states acting as if nothing had happened. But she had to. If it was the only way she get to have Taylor in her life. She had to.
When they pulled apart, Taylor cupped Laura's face and made soothing circles on her jaw with her thumb. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For not waiting for you."
"I'm sorry I even had to leave in the first place." Again, both kept quiet, trying to prolong their time together. "But at least we'll always have Paris, right?" Laura tried to smile, even though she knew that Taylor could see it didn't reach her eyes.
But Taylor did the same, giving back a close-lipped smile while she nodded slowly. "Yeah. We'll always have Paris."
A/N:
For those reading Shattered, I haven't abandoned that story. I'm sorry update is taking a lot longer than usual but I wanna take my time on Chapter 7 since I think it's a pretty important chapter. Thank you for patiently waiting.
This may be a little late but this idea just struck me yesterday and I couldn't go on with my life without doing it so here you go. Haha. It's a little rushed so forgive me for any mistakes and if there are any inaccuracies with the Europe promo. Would love to hear what you think of this, thank you! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me =)