A/N: This has an OC in it, I know some people hate it. It's not too torturous, though, so I know you mature readers can get through it without too much psychological scarring, isn't that right? (:

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. Michael is mine, though.

Part One

Love

His name was Michael, and our time together seemed so short I've often thought it was a dream. Mello introduced us when we were kids, and we all hung out together. We were inseparable since then. We would always joke around and play-fight in those days, but he became remarkably tender towards me when we were older. On Mello's birthday, when we were fourteen or fifteen, we played Seven Minutes in Heaven with a few other kids from Wammy's. We were sent into the closet, and he kissed me on the cheek, after telling me how he felt. Over the next few days, we were no longer friends, but lovers. I still remember his dirty jokes, that lustful grin, the one he always got the second he looked my way. I always knew how he felt about me, and after a while, I started to feel the same way. He was naturally sweet, always caring about me, and every time I got into a fight he would either join in, if he was there, or beat up the person afterwards—since I, unfortunately, nearly always lost. He even made a plan to kill one, who had beaten me up exceptionally badly, but Roger found out and he was locked up for nearly a month. He was kept separate from everybody, yet I still managed to hack into the security and sneak in to see him.

He couldn't do anything about my physical wounds, but he would stay with me until I felt better, my bruises and cuts not hurting so badly anymore, even though he was rubbing up against me. He would be there for hours, staying up all night with me if he had to. He wouldn't talk if I told him not to, if I was still angry, yet somehow just his physical presence was enough to make it seem like everything would be all right.

Sometimes he would just stop by my room, distracting me from whatever I was doing. He was the only one I would allow to interrupt my gaming, no matter what.

"Matt," he said to me a few days after, on around the 16th of December, when we were at our usual secluded spot outside, surrounded by trees, "We both love each other; you've told me. Yet we've never done more than a quick hug. I haven't pushed you before, but I have needs. I'd like to at least kiss you, even if I can't go further."

"After where your mouth has been? Forget it," I joked, half-serious. He'd gone much further than me, and though we were both fourteen, he was not a virgin like me. He'd lost his at eleven, to a girl outside Wammy's House. He didn't care who it was after that; he simply wanted more. I had never even made out with anyone before.

"You're the only one I've had genuine feelings for, the one I'd never rush." I'd been told many times, each time brushing the hair out of my eyes, looking like he was about to kiss me, but he wouldn't. He knew how I felt about it. Each time he did, I saw the look in his eyes, the one that told me he was telling the truth.

"Aw, I brushed my teeth and everything!"

I laughed because I doubted it. Michael's hygiene habits were… Questionable, at best.

"There's nobody around, Matt… Just one kiss."

"All right!" I quickly leaned over and kissed him, blushing furiously, needing getting up on my knees because he was slightly taller than me. I hated being short, but I liked that he was taller than me. It was definitely a turn-on. One of the many things that attracted me to him.

He wrapped his arms around me, leaving me to listen to his steady heartbeat. Lucky bastard, he's so calm…

"That's not a kiss, Matt." He pulled my lips to mine, then shoved his tongue in my semi-parted mouth (I had been in the middle of the word, "What?") and moved his tongue around in my mouth, when some part of my brain said, kiss back you dumbass, and it clicked suddenly. He pulled away suddenly, revealing my blushing face to him, and he twirled my hair (which was possible because I had long hair, for a guy at least; it covered my eyes.) and said, "That was a kiss, Matt."

"Y-yes it was." I couldn't believe I'd never let him do that before. What have I been missing out on? And why did I keep fighting him? He knows what he's doing…

That night, we ended up together, bodies intertwined on his bed, half-naked at that point, with me ready to give into him. I didn't expect this would happen, and certainly not this soon… I couldn't believe how good the pressure of his body on mine felt, both emotionally and physically.

"Are you ready, Matt?" he asked, reaching for my belt, fingers gently brushing the slightly-exposed part of my stomach that had been exposed when he pushed my shirt up slightly. It was unintentional, yet the feel of his gentle touch spread through my entire body. My heart raced, and my skin tingled, especially the places he touched so lightly I almost didn't feel it. But I did, and it felt amazing… And, of course, as his fingers started descending lower and lower on my body, there was the obvious male reaction, which, due to the circumstances, I made no attempt to hide.

"Y-yes." I stumbled on the word, pissed off because my brain wouldn't think. I could only feel: our closeness, his body on top of me, the gentle warmth of his hand under my shirt, lifting it over my head as I felt myself blush… His hot breath on my neck as he whispered calming words into my ear, tongue gently brushing my cheek. He reached for my belt again, stroking my with his other hand that had made its way into my boxers, which made me cry out.

"M-Michael!" I wanted this, but… I knew it would hurt me. He'd told me this. I was a virgin, after all…

"Don't worry. It doesn't hurt that bad… And it's always best, the first time… Hell, I remember mine…" After fumbling with the buckle for a minute, he pulled my pants down and threw them on the floor. He stroked my hair with his now-free hand and I unzipped his jeans—though I was still about dying just from his touch— and he pulled them off, throwing them to the floor on top of my own discarded pair as he climbed on top of me, kissing my forehead… lips… nipping at my neck… licking my bare chest… He kept teasing me, down to my waist. I couldn't take it anymore; he was driving me crazy!

So there we were, in our boxers—to be honest I was quite surprised he wore any— with him on top of me. It was a dream come true for me, albeit a dream I didn't know I wanted for real. Until now.

"All right, so…" he mumbled awkwardly, reaching for a tube by the bed. He's been planning this, hasn't he? "I need to…" he tugged at my boxers, long having removed his hand from them. For which I was slightly grateful; I probably would have came already had he not.

His hesitance was unexpected, and kind of sweet. I'd half-expected him to be more animalistic, or possessive. Biting, tying me up, or something. But for now, I was just fine with this. It was almost romantic. If he even got romantic.

"Take 'em off me," I whined, doing my best not to "correct myself" as was a habit from never having anyone else do anything like this. The wait was torturing me, and I wouldn't be able to hold on much longer without him doing something. I've never had to wait before, since it's always been me, by myself, when Mello wasn't around. I doubted I'd ever get used to this… My blood was racing, my heart pounding, and he wasn't even doing anything to me. I wished he'd stop being so slow and taking his damn sweet time. Didn't he understand what he was doing to me? I was dying over here…

So, how does this work, anyway? Where— How does he even…?

He pulled them off expertly with one hand, tossing them carelessly in the clothes pile that had appeared near the bed, then looked at me, licking his lips slowly as his gaze trailed along my entire body, admiring me as I lay before him, completely naked. It was the first time I had been like this in front of anyone before. I'd been in my boxers around Mello before, as we were roommates, but this was a whole new feeling. I was exposed, vulnerable and had placed my trust in this man to accept me. It was a strange feeling, and suddenly, I wanted to see his entire body as well. I tugged at his boxers, the material hiding the body I so desperately wanted to see. He let me remove them, moving his hips so it was hard to take them off but damn if that careful thrusting motion as he bit his lower lip didn't turn me on.

"Ah… I hate wearing those, you know." He grinned, running his hand through my hair as I blushed. God… He's huge… I imagined what he would feel like, what it would be like with him on top of me, thrusting inside my virgin body…

I squirmed, in pleasure and anticipation, at the mental images as he started to speak again.

"Now… I'm sorry, Matt… This is going to hurt…" he coated his fingers in the substance from the tube and spread my legs out before positioning them over his shoulders to give him better access. I was hardly flexible. Years of being a gamer, sitting on your ass all day, didn't exactly give you a great range of movement. The position was slightly uncomfortable, but I could deal with it for now. "Deep breath…" he whispered in my ear as he pushed one of his fingers into me.

I let out a hiss, clawing at the sheets. Damn, this hurts…

"Sorry, Matty… But that's not even the worst part…" he slid it out, but I only got a second or two of relief before his slipped it back in. He did this multiple times before I started to get used to it. He slid in another finger at that point and I winced again as he moved them in a scissoring motion. He did this again and I tried to block it out, realizing it was a horrible tactic. He was much bigger and longer than a couple of his fingers… How would I react to him being inside me?

He somehow managed, after another minute or so, to fit a third finger inside me. He kept moving them as if trying to find a certain spot. But that doesn't make sense… Boys don't have that, I think… Do we…?

And then his fingers reached a spot that made me feel like I would black out from the wonderfully intense feeling.

"Ahh… M-more…" I moaned, choking on the words as I arched my back, looking at the man who did this to me.

He grinned, apparently satisfied from that. He hit it a few more times, a little harder than before, which only made it feel better, before pulling his fingers out. "Sorry… Haven't been with that many guys before… Or at least, haven't topped." He said as he positioned himself in front of an entrance I didn't know I had until then, ready to thrust inside. My legs were over his shoulders, allowing him better access.

"M-Michael!" I was getting both nervous and impatient, desperate for more of him. At the sound of my hesitance, he stopped just as he was about to enter me, but stroked me with a delicate touch, turning me on so much I just couldn't wait anymore. I nodded, exhaling, and he thrust into me, all at once, and I cried out in slight agony from the sudden insertion, but pure bliss as I remembered that it was him. But God he was bigger than I thought… And damn he felt good…

"Matty, are you okay?" he asked in a breathy whisper, one that I could feel on the side of my neck.

I mentally thanked him for trying to be gentle, even though it was far from habit for him. I knew he was more into dirty stuff, so maybe next time—

Holy shit.

I assumed he must have given me a warning, but, lost in my thoughts, I must have missed it, and he must have taken the lust-filled look in my eyes (my goggles were somewhere by the bed, thrown aside in out haste to get undressed) for a yes. He removed himself suddenly, then slid himself in again, hitting the same spot as before. It felt a hundred times better than when he hit it with his fingers, and I couldn't help the moan that escaped me. He felt so… Wonderful.

"G-God…"

He kept up the motion, now going faster, and within minutes I knew I couldn't last much longer. Not with the way he was violating me. In the most pleasurable sense of the word.

"M-Mi… I'm…" For God's sake, I couldn't get his name out; that's just how wonderful this made me feel. I never imagined it would feel this good. My fingers grasped the sheets and I moaned, screaming his name as he thrust into me one more time, moaning as I came on him and myself.

I panted, leaning my head back against the bed, shutting my eyes in pure bliss, as he thrust in one last time, and came inside me. I heard him moan too, but by that point my mind was too far gone, feeling the after-effects of the sensation he gave me. I felt his warm seed, the very essence of him, filling my body as well as my soul (just the thought of him being so intimate with me…). All I could feel was how close he was to me. The rest of the world could go to Hell for all I cared, as long as he stayed here with me, in this moment, forever.

He pulled out of me after a few moments, and I was disappointed because he wasn't in me anymore. There was something about him that brought out these new feelings to me. Something about him that made me just need to be… Close to him. I wrapped my arms around him, listening to his heart stop beating as rapidly, listening to him still panting, now directly in my ear.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, someone was pounding furiously on the door, yelling. I recognized the voice immediately.

It was Mello.

"Matt! Are you in there? I know you have to be! Get the hell out here!"

Michael stroked my hair, kissing my lips once more, pointing me toward the door, mouthing, "Go."

Apparently, he had been awake the whole time while I slept in his arms. The thought made me blush and my heart race, glad he didn't just ignore me after. But then again, that wouldn't be like him. But then, a thought came to mind.

Shit… Did I…?

I have a tendency to drool in my sleep. I figure it's because, every time I remember it happening, I had a dream about him… About sex. Mello tells me, a few times, I've actually humped the bed in my sleep. Which is why there is no more 'sharing warmth' in the winter.

"Matt! Get the hell out here, now!"

I got out of the bed, leaving his arms, and shivered. The air was so cold, so empty. I wanted to go back to the warmth of the bed, the warmth of his body… I shook my head. Sure, it was depressing—no, heartbreaking— to leave right after, but Mello would kill me if I didn't leave. I threw my boxers and pants on hastily, pulling my shirt over my head as I unlocked and opened the door.

"Yeah, Mello?" I answered, as casually as I could, pulling my shirt down over my waistline. I didn't even try to fix my hair, which added to my—I assumed— sleepy, lusty state. I said nothing about what happened. If Mello didn't know already, there was no point in alerting him.

"Come on, you said you'd let me help you study."

He nearly broke down the door for this?

"Oh, yeah… Right." I walked behind him to our room, hoping he didn't already know what happened with Michael and me. That would be awkward to explain—not to mention, he'd be pissed that I lost my virginity before him. After all, Mello was far more… Sexual that I was. He flirted with practically everyone, at least whenever I saw him.

"Matt… what were you doing in there? I'm not stupid. I just want to make sure he didn't use you…"

I sighed, starting to explain what had happened earlier, and how those actions led me to end up in his room, and eventually, to having sex with him. If he wanted to know, he had far more unpleasant ways to make me talk. I figured it would be easier to just tell him immediately, while he was still being civil.

"I can't believe you had sex with him." Was his only response.

"I can't either."

The next day, before class, but after Mello left to argue with Near (and lose), Michael stopped by my room.

"So… Last night." I said awkwardly, wondering if whatever he said related to that in any way. It did.

"I'm sorry Mello took you away from me," he said remorsefully, looking down and mumbling slightly.

I was surprised that was what he said. I expected something like, "Wanna do it again tonight?" or at least some perverted comment.

"Uh… Yeah, that sucked. I wish we could've stayed together… Who knows what else we could have done?" I was trying to be sexy. Even though my ass kind of hurt, I wanted to do it again. At least one more time. I understood now why he was such a slut (he's my boyfriend, I'll call him what I want!). Sex was… Amazing. And I'm sure it's great for him, since he tops…

His mind must have been going in a similar direction, because he asked me suddenly (or maybe not so suddenly; I didn't know how long I was distracted by my own thoughts) "How'd you like to be on top next time?"

And there's the Michael I know and love. I smiled, at this, though the actual prospect frightened me slightly.

"A-are you sure?" I was kind of nervous the idea was facing reality, but… Almost anxious. Excited. Horny.

"Hell yeah. Meet me after class, all right?"

I nodded.

That day in class, I didn't pay attention. At all. Granted, I normally didn't, but I was actually focused on something today. Him. After class, I raced to his room, practically knocking over everyone who happened to be in the hallway. I was hesitant as I knocked at the door, but couldn't help a smile as he answered, shirt already off. I stumbled inside, grinning like a madman.

He led me inside, wrapping his arms around me, the feeling enough to make my heart beat faster. It was only the second time. I wasn't used to this…This thrill it gave me. Being with him, doing this, just felt so…Right.

I gulped, nervous, my face flushing as I undid the button on his jeans, pulling them off with some difficulty—but he'd made it look so easy….!— and throwing them on the floor. Looking at his now-naked body, I nearly fainted thinking about what was about to happen. I don't know why it was so different this time, but something about him, who was so aggressive and powerful, would let me do this to him, made me so much more nervous.

"H-how do I do this?" I asked, panicking, eyes growing wide. I hoped he didn't just get impatient and do it himself…

Instead, he smiled, actually quite patient and understanding, which he never was. "You're so damn cute when you're nervous…" He put his hands in my hair, making me lose my balance and nearly fall into him. The comment made me blush even more, and I dove into his arms for comfort. He chuckled.

"Don't worry about it… You'll be great inside me…" he whispered softly as he pulled me closer, whispering the last part in my ear, practically licking me. I let out a small moan. God, he was great at dirty-talking. Especially since he knew all the ways to turn me on, even though there's no way he could have known that just by being him, acting the way he did, so unrestrained and unplanned, wild and reckless, a behavior that was so unique here, was actually enough.

But grinding his hips into mine, biting at my neck while whispering how badly he'd like me to shove myself up his ass? Hell yeah, that helped too.

I let him take me to the bed, rolling over so I could be on top of him. He unzipped my jeans, looking up at me with experienced, yet impatient, eyes, pulling them down to my knees. I wanted him to touch me more… Like last time. Though my wish was unspoken, he slipped his hands into my boxers, stroking my length just lightly enough to make me shudder. He grinned at me, then removed his hand, sliding the material off me, leaving my lower half completely naked, and revealing my erection.

"Don't worry… Just come here. Slip into me…" He pulled me closer, sliding his hands under my shirt and pulled it up.

Wait… What was that thing he did, before we did anything last night?

"Don't- I… Did we forget…"

"What? Oh. Heh, I did it myself. I didn't want to bother you with it, since you seem to get frustrated with things like that."

"Mm…" I looked over his body, running my hand over his length slowly, which I knew would drive him half-mad. "So… Now I…"

"Take your time," he said, more patiently than he obviously was. He was squirming at my touch, desperate for more.

I nodded, and let him wrap his legs around me. I breathed in and out a few times, then adjusted our positions, placing myself at his entrance. I was so nervous. What if I didn't do it right? What if he didn't like it…?

Well… There's no way to stop now.

I allowed myself to relax a bit more, breathing slowly, and slipped myself in entirely, moaning at the new sensation, and getting a groan from him. Oh God… He… He feels amazing.

He let out a sound, similar to a moan but not quite, that expressed his impatience, his need for me. He also moved his hips, aching for more. I willingly complied, giving him more of me. He could have as much as he wanted. I let out a rather loud moan as I thrust into him again, feeling his heat and… Oh God, it felt so good.

I remembered what he did, where he changed the angle and it suddenly felt so much better… what did he do? Damn it, what did he do?

I changed the angle, then thrust back into him. He bit his lip, but still was unable to hold back the moan that came from his lips. "Ohh… do that again…"

Proud that, for once, I could make him feel that way, I thrust in again, a slight smile on my face, into the same spot. I repeated this motion again and again, falling into a steady rhythm, as I began to realize I wouldn't last much longer. He was tightening around me—which wasn't helping matters— and fighting to breathe, by the looks of it. He was gasping, panting, moaning— and it was highly erotic for me, to know that I could force him down to this state. With one more thrust deep into him, he shuddered, groaning, as he came on me, then nearly collapsed on the bed. I knew he wanted to rest, but I pulled him up slightly so I could finish, and thrust just once more before I came inside him. My heartbeat was still rapid, and I was still panting as I slid out of him, laying next to him on the bed, satisfied.

"See, Matty? I told you you'd be great inside me…" he whispered, the sound of his low, sexy voice almost enough to turn me on again. He ran his hand through my hair as he brought me closer, kissing my forehead. God, I loved him. So, so much. I loved how he could be so sexy, so passionate—especially in bed— and still manage to be so delicate with me at the same time.

"Mm… Can I just sleep over here?" I asked, snuggling closer to him. He's warm… I thought with a grin, pressing myself even closer to him.

"Sure." He said, looking down at me with a smile, allowing me to wrap my arms around him.

"Good night…" I yawned, before my eyes closed, falling asleep easily because of the exertion, warmth, and feeling of safety he created.

A/N: All these chapters are huge, so I had to kind of cut them up a little. So if the ending seems choppy, that's why. Anyway, reviews would be lovely. (: