Two Kings
By: Yuri ^-^v
Vegeta and Goku sat quietly on a hill after a very intense sparring session. Goku lazily stared up at the white puffy clouds as they moved across the blue sky. Surprisingly Vegeta had brought a newspaper and was now reading it. "Kakarrot." Vegeta shouted waking Goku up.
"What?" Goku grumbled out mad that Vegeta had just woken him up.
"You know this planet is fucked up, right?" Vegeta asked.
"What makes you say that, Vegeta?" Goku asked sitting up and looking over at the smaller Saiyan.
"Well…here look. This paper is filled with nothing but how these pitiful weaklings are just killing each other. And over stupid shit."
"Yeah…and?"
"Listen to me, Kakarrot. The two of us could rule Earth together. With us controlling this planet these petty and pointless bouts of violence would cease. Right?" Vegeta asked slowly.
"Yeah…well…that is."
"We could be two kings. You possess the ability to keep people calm and I already possess the lineage to rule."
"Oh…okay." Goku chirped. "But how will we get the people to follow us, Vegeta."
"Simple. Riot. We'll have them overthrow the current government. Go head Kakarrot! CAUSE THE PEOPLE TO RISE UP!!" Vegeta shouted as he jumped up. Without a second thought Goku took off and actually got a group of people to start rioting. In a matter of hours people all over the world were rioting. (A/N: MOB RULZ!! OH! I always wanted that DVD player…and those shoes too. ^-^ *Yuri runs off*
Meanwhile Goku and Vegeta were now hiding out in a special bunker, built by Bulma for special training, that was 20 feet below sea level. They both sat…well training and watching everything from a monitor. After the smoke had cleared and the people had calmed down. Goku and Vegeta slowly emerged from the bunker. "Well we did it Kakarrot. We beat all the BASTARDS!!"
"Yeah, but now what will we do?" Goku asked looking around at the partially destroyed Satan City.
'Now remember, Kakarrot. We have to act like we don't want the job.' Vegeta said to Goku telepathically. Goku nodded his head. "First we must rebuild."
"But who will lead us in the rebuilding process? It's got to be someone with the know how AND the elbow grease to lead us to a new land." Goku said. He and Vegeta both hid a smirk as the masses began chanting for them to lead. "What? No, we don't have the cranial capacity to lead."
"Shut up! Speak for yourself. We'll do it!" Vegeta said pushing past Goku.
"We'll lead as two kings?" Goku asked slowly.
"Yes, we'll lead as two kings."
"Alright!" Along with Goku and Vegeta's help the world was soon built and running even better then before.
"Goku!"
"Vegeta!" Both ChiChi and Bulma yelled as they both marched down the halls towards Goku and Vegeta's throne room.
"What is it?" Vegeta declared as he and Goku looked over at their mates.
"What the hell do you two think that you're doing?" ChiChi demanded glaring at Goku.
"We're having a meeting. Plus we're making the world a better place, ChiChi. Think about it. With my position Gohan and Goten can get in any college in the world…for free."
"I'm happy about that."
"But…we want to share in the power too." Bulma said smiling smugly.
'Uh-huh. Vegeta listen to me. Their gonna try and seduce us into given up our thrones. Get rid of them before it's too late.' Vegeta nodded his head and had to admit that Kakarrot was right. With a nod of his head Bulma and ChiChi were dragged away kicking and screaming. (A/N: @.@ Goku?) "Alright now it's time for to make some decrees. Our first decree is to ban ALL needles! Those cracked up doctors have ruled for too long. Their BANISHED from the land." Goku shouted as some people, including Vegeta, began to sweat drop. "Second decree! No more pollution, car exhaust or ocean dumpage. From now on you'll travel through TUBES! That is unless of course you already know how to fly." This whole time Vegeta sat shaking his head.
'What a baka.'
"Let's get the scientists in Capsule Corps. Working on the tube technology. Chop, chop." Goku says as he claps his hands. "Third DECREE! No more rich people and poor people. From now on we'll all be the same. Uh..well…I gotta think about that."
'What have I done.' Vegeta thought as Goku began to laugh insanely.
"Oh kami LOOK!" Goku shouts as he points at a red flashing phone. "The red phone is flashing."
"Yeah."
"I'll get it. Hello? Two kings. Yeah, this is he. What? No WAY!! I'll send someone on it right away." Goku says quickly as he hangs up the phone.
"What?"
"Vegeta, there's a potato famine in Idaho. You have to go check it out."
"What? Why do I have to go?"
"Vegeta! I gotta stay here…PLEASE?"
"Hmph. Fine, I'll go." Vegeta says as he gets up to leave.
"Vegeta you're awesome." Goku says waving at Vegeta as he leaves. "….Is he gone?" Goku asks looking around. "Okay good. Emergency meeting of Parliament. Alright, Parliament I know this is fucked up but…Vegeta…he can't be king anymore. HE'S ENCROUCHING ON MY DECREES! Seriously let's make him duke. He'll be a kick ass duke. Better yet…'Leader formerly known as King'. Shit he's coming back." Goku starts whistling innocently.
"Kakarrot!"
"Vegeta."
"I looked all over Idaho and there was no famine."
"There was no famine?!" Goku asks putting on his best-shocked and innocent face.
"No, no there wasn't no famine."
"Sorry about that. Well…how about a toast?" Goku suggests as he pours a glass of wine for him and Vegeta.
"A toast?" Vegeta asks suspiciously taking the glass.
"Yeah. Long live the Two Kings." Goku says as he and Vegeta drink the wine.
"Uh…long live the Two Kings."
"MWHAHAHAHAA!! Long live ME! I'm sorry, but I poisoned your wine. MWHAHAHAHAHHAAH!!!"
"What? Well I poisoned yours…as well." Vegeta says smirking evilly.
"WHAT?!" Goku shouts dropping his glass. "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Goku shouts as he suddenly sits up in bed sweating.
"Goku what's wrong?" ChiChi asks staring at Goku.
"ChiChi? Oh ChiChi I had this horrible dream where Vegeta and I became two kings and we poisoned each other." Goku said rubbing the back of his head nervously.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you poison each other?" ChiChi asked cocking her head to the side.
"Uh…well…um…he had you imprisoned…and was gonna execute you. I tried to save you by poisoning Vegeta, ChiChi. Honest." Goku said growing even more nervous.
"Awe, thank you. But no more Chocolaty Coco-Puffs with three cups of sugar for you before bedtime anymore." ChiChi said as she kissed Goku's cheek and rolled over.
'Shit. I'm a grown man and I can eat it at anytime.' Goku thought as he frowned at ChiChi. "I'm glad I let him kill your ass." Goku grumbled angrily.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" ChiChi shouted sitting up in bed.
"I said that…I'm glad that you got a killer ass." Goku said giving ChiChi that Son smile.
"Oh…Goku. Come here." ChiChi purred seductively as she pulled Goku in for a kiss.
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MWAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA!!! So what did you guys think? I was laughing myself crazy when I thought of this fic. Actually I got it from Tenacious D's City Hall. That is a great CD. I'm not normally into this kind of music but if you're in for a good laugh. Then this is the album for YOU. Thanks Kei for letting me borrow the CD. HA! And you won't see it until Spring Break…possibly. Wasn't that just evil of Goku. I bet all of you out there think that Goku could never do any wrong. Well you know what? You're wrong, YOU'RE ALL WRONG!! I love being back at college…and not because I have to study. ^-^v I can say anything I want about Goku, Turles, Raditz, Bardock and Kakarrot and not have to worry about Kei beating me up for it. LOL. Anywho read and review. Tell me what you think. Also read my other fic Goku and Vegeta's Philosophy Corner. OH! Read my other fic 'The Dirty Pair's interview' which is on Kei's account. I didn't feel like removing the story. So take care all.