A/N: This is the very 1st fanfic I've written, so I'm apologizing if I made a few mistakes. Title was suggested by a close friend of mine :)
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in this story (I only wished I did T^T). They solely belong to Hidekaz Himaruya.
I was always alone. My only friends were the animals that were living in the forest. For a long time, no one came. My only wish was to find someone that would truly care for me, but as time passed by, I was losing hope for it to ever happen. For awhile, it felt like my existence was insignificant, & like others, I would one day disappear & be forgotten…That was what I believed back then but, to my surprise, someone from another land actually came. This was the first time that another person, other than me, that has set foot on this vast land that I consider my home. At first I thought his intentions were to take this land & everything in it for himself. I was frightened at the thought of losing my only home. I tried my best to hide from him, but my curiosity got the best of me, so I decided to follow him. As I was watching him, from a close distant, my doubts about him disappeared almost instantly. There was something about him, which drew me closer. Whenever I look at his eyes, I can almost see a faint sign of sadness in those beautiful emerald green orbs of his, & judging from the multitude of bandages that was wrapped in most parts of his body, I'm certain that he got caught in a huge battle, & was injured pretty badly. I was beginning to wonder, how he was even able to stand, even will all those injuries. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to get closer to him. I want to be with him. Maybe my wish was finally going to come true. Maybe he's the one that I'd been looking for. With hope & determination, I decided to leave my hiding place & follow him to where he was, but to my dismay, he was already gone. Was my wish really granted? If so, then why did he leave? I didn't even have the chance to meet him & yet here I was disheartened at what happened. But I have a strange feeling that he'll return again, & that was something I was looking forward to.
I now spent most of my time in a vast field & open field near a small stream. It became my favorite spot. It was filled with different varieties of flowers, herbs & plants. But I still kept waiting for him to return. While I was playing in the grass, I noticed three figures watching me. I decided to ignore them, & continue in what I was doing. Two of the figures began fighting with each other & after awhile, the one that claimed victory started to go to the direction where I was, & as he got closer, I immediately recognized who he was. It was him! He finally returned! When he was just a few inches away from me, all I could do was to gaze at him. I couldn't move a muscle. He got closer to me & asked
"Why aren't you running away? Don't you find me terrifying?"
At first I was confused, because I wondered why would he even asked that question, but will all honesty I answered him,
"Because I learned a lot about myself"
He smiled at my answer, & he then asks me "Will you be my younger brother?"
I was surprised. I never thought that my wish would finally be granted. I simply nodded as a reply to his question, & instinctively called him "big brother". At first he was startled at what I said, & I began to wonder if I said something that offended him. Out of the blue, tears streaming down his face. I began to worry, but he wiped them off, & said
"Just call me, Arthur" As he spoke these words to me, I've felt a new kind of happiness that I've never felt in my whole life. I finally have someone I can call a family, & his name was Arthur Kirkland. As days pass on, he started to visit me more & more often. Teaching me new things I never knew & more. He even cooks me meals every day, although I do sometimes wonder about why the food he cooks me tastes funny, but I'll set it aside for now, all that matters is him coming here. While teaching me about the history & politics of the different nations, I was taken aback at what he just called me.
"Alfred, is there something wrong?" At first I didn't know what to say, I thought he was talking to someone else.
"Alfred?"
"Yes, that's you" I couldn't believe at what I was hearing. Is this for real?
"Arthur, you're giving me a name?" I asked him, curious & at the same time a bit nervous
"From today onwards, your name is Alfred F. Jones" I was incredibly overjoyed at what he said & I instantly hugged him, much to his surprise.
Each day that I spent together with him was the most happiest I ever had. I never wanted to leave his side. I wanted to stay with him forever. But not all good things last, because a day will come when it will surely end, & the days we spent will soon be forgotten, because of that one choice I made that completely change everything.
Even though Arthur comes & visit me, I noticed that his visits are becoming less & less frequent. His visit usually ranges from a few days after his last one, but then all of a sudden it changes to a few weeks after. Then it grew into a few months after, & then became a few years. At first I understood him why he didn't visit as often as he used to, since I know that he has many responsibilities that he has to do, since he is the embodiment of England, & I myself know the responsibility I have as the embodiment of America. And I, myself, know that as countries we don't easily die & continue to live on as long as our people are here. But even with all that knowledge in mind, it always felt like Arthur was never going to come back, & since then the loneliness I always felt, before Arthur found me, reappeared again. With Arthur always leaving me, it felt lonelier.
During his visits, he doesn't stay longer like he used to, & has to leave immediately. I tried my best to make him stay, but he always tells me that he has work to do & he promised me that he will come back & I also made a promise to him that I will do my best & become stronger, while he is away. I did my best to fulfill that promise I made him, but there were times when I would spent the rest of my day, waiting for him to come back. As the years passed by, I began to mature. In his last visit, I was about half his height. If felt nice being complimented by him about my growth, & before he left he gave me a toy soldier. Although I was a bit worried about him, since he has a broken arm when he visited, but he reassured me that everything will be fine. A few years passed & he visited me again, but this time he was tongue-tied at what he saw. I was now taller than him. By now, both my mind & body were starting to fully mature, & I started viewing things in a different way in how Arthur taught me. In all his visits, he always gave me toys & clothing before he left, but during these times a part of me was gradually changing. I started to doubt whether or not he would come back, & I grew more & more distant from him as years passed. And that distant grew into separation when I decided to become independent from him, not wanting to be treated as his little brother any longer.
During the years, where my country was gradually progressing, & learning different cultures & countries, I began doubting the things that Arthur taught me. Sure, he has taught me, almost everything I knew, & he helped me become a strong, but there was something inside of me that couldn't accept the way he always treated me. I hated being treated like I'm some kid that needs to be constantly watched. I hated the way Arthur ignores everything I say. I hated being always protected by him. I just hated being always treated as his little brother, but there was always a part of me that's always stopping me. I knew that I could never leave him. A part of me still doesn't want to let go of the person the dearest to me. I couldn't win against it. I tried many times to convince Arthur to let me have my ways, but he just refuses to listen. I had no other choice. I have to make a decision. Even if it meant, letting go of everything Arthur has given me, including him, I had no other choice but to do it, but there's that part of me that wouldn't let him go…
"Stop! You're making the biggest mistake of your life"
"I'm sorry, but I made my decision"
"But if you do it, you'll surely hurt him"
"If that's the price I must pay, then I'm willing to do it"
"This is the thanks you're giving him, after everything he's done for us"
"I have no choice; besides, this is my way of becoming the strong country he wants us to be"
"You're wrong! If becoming a strong country means leaving Arthur's side, then I'd rather become weak than do it!"
"But by doing that, it means we're breaking our promise to Arthur"
"Then, by doing this, will it make Arthur happy!?"
"…."
"For a very long, we've always wished for someone to care for us. Someone to love us wholeheartedly, & what you're doing, means you're forgotten that long time dream"
"No, it's not like that…."
"Then, why are you doing this!?"
"I want to become a country far greater than Arthur could ever be!"
"Why!?"
"Because I want to surpass him one day, but in order for me to do that, I have no choice but to leave his side"
"What difference does it make? We can become stronger, without leaving his side, so why!?"
"Because I want to become stronger in my own way, without his or anyone's help…"
"….."
"Plus, I always wanted to see what it was like in the world the Arthur sees"
"?"
"You've also forgotten, that dream we had"
"And what dream was that?"
"We dreamt of the day we'll be the one protect & take care of him"
"I remembered…"
"So please, can you trust me, Alfred?"
"Fine, but promise me this. That no matter what happens; you'll always be there for him"
"You don't need ask me to that, because no matter what I'll always be there for him, even if he hates me for everything I've done"
"Then I entrust everything to you, Alfred…"
I woke up; from the strange dream I had last night. I touched my cheeks, & felt tears falling down. I was crying. I never thought that I'd actually have a conversation with myself. But I can clearly understand why he doesn't want to leave Arthur's side. I've spent my whole life being protected & cared by him, & a part of me doesn't want to let go of everything he has done for me. But things change as time passes by, & I discovered new things about the world that surrounds me, & also about myself. A part of myself, that I never thought that existed & the new emotion it carries along with it. Something I never once realized & a new kind of emotion I've never felt before. And with that, I finally know what to do. It's almost time to tell him. Arthur, I'm sorry for what I'm about to do.
Today's I finally became independent from Arthur. I can clearly remember the look on his face, when I told him Ididn't want to be treated as his little brother anymore. He was furious, he tried his best, convincing me not to continue, & forget about the whole idea, but I didn't listen to him. I ignored everything he said, just like how he always ignored me. As I left, he shouted at me these words
"I won't allow it! Alfred, listen to me! I will never allow you to leave me!"
"If you are insistent of not letting me go, then why don't you stop me" I said to him cold-heartedly
"Alfred, I'll make sure, that you'll never leave my side!"
I left his office, after he said those words to me. If it's a fight he wants, then I won't back down from the challenge. I won't show him any mercy.
The raining was pouring down heavily on us. Arthur was standing alone in the field. He didn't bring anyone to the battlefield, but I as I said before, I wouldn't show him any mercy at all. I was standing in front of him, holding my gun in my hand. I watched as he started pointing his gun at me. I never thought that it would come down to this. I'll have to apologize to myself, for hurting Arthur. To my surprise, Arthur charged at me without any hesitation, but I was able to block his attack, using my gun. The force of his attack was strong enough for me to let go of my weapon. I was now standing in front of him with no weapon at hand. As he held his gun at me, I realized that there was no chance of me winning. I brace myself for what's about to happen, but he stopped. He dropped his gun, & fell down on his knees. I realized that he didn't have the heart to shot me. As his tears began to fall, & the rain gradually becoming stronger as time passed by, all I could do was watch him, crying. I began to recall a distant memory in my past, when I wanted to be like him, but as I look at him, he's now become a shadow of his former self. It pained me to say this to him
"You used to be so great, Arthur…" The continued rain continued to pour as he kept crying. And I left him there, alone in the rain as he cried. I felt my heart break as I leave him there. It hurts me to see him like that, but I can't turn back. It's too late to turn everything back the way it used to be. From this day onwards, I am now independent from Arthur, & I'm no longer his little brother. That was all I wanted, but I never really wanted to hurt him. I never wanted to leave him like that. I always thought, that he would allow me do as I please, but I was wrong. He would never let me go. I had no choice but to do this to him. I wanted independence. I wanted to stand on my own feet, without his help. I wanted to become something, far greater than he could ever be. ..
To Arthur, I'm sorry if I have to do this to you, but I never regretted leaving you. By doing so, I can become the strong the country you want. The only thing I never wanted to make you cry. A part of me still regrets doing it. It pained me to watch you as you cried alone in the rain for hours. One day, this event will become a distant memory for the two of us, & we'll soon forget about it. But for now, I hope that one day, you can forgive me. It'll take a while for everything to return to the way it used to be. But I'll always be waiting for you, no matter how many years it will take. I'll always stay by your stay by your side, even if you don't want me to, because you're the most important person in my life, & the only one that I truly loved the most in the world…
END
A/N: Thanks for reading (even though my works aren't worth being read). I wrote this as part of my English term paper project. & this was also published in my wattpad account, but in a different name ("Price of Freedom" – celeste_blue018).