The anger coursing through Luke washed over the entire room. The fear for his sister, my daughter, fueling his anger. Slowly I realized I had caused this in my son, just the simple mention of her had set him off.
The strikes of his lightsaber were becoming more and more aggressive. My old battered body couldn't keep up. For the first time in forever, or maybe ever, I truly felt the fear of being killed by someones blade. Perhaps, I thought, this is what I deserve after everything I had done. Maybe being struck down by my son would bring home all the terrible things I had done.
Luke's strikes were finally too much for my clumsy body. He had sent me to the ground with his strikes. My respirator was struggling to provide me with the oxygen I needed. Luke struck my lightsaber with everything he could, the only reason I hadn't completely collapsed was the railing I was holding onto.
Luke struck again and my arm could no longer stand it and hung limp at my side. Another swing removed my mechanical hand, much like I had done to him on Bespin. Suddenly I found myself back on Geonosis, beaten by Dooku. My entire right forearm removed from the rest of my arm. I remembered lying against my master Obi-Wan, who had also lost to Dooku. I got the irrational desire to have my master by my side again. I realized how foolish that was, I had killed him, what would he want with me?
Luke stood over me, his rage apparent on his face. If I could cry I probably would have at the look my son was giving me. I had caused him pain, my foolishness had brought this upon my son and daughter. The hard truth I had been trying to avoid for decades finally sunk in. My selfish actions had destroyed my family in the Jedi, the love of my life, and now I had made my children's lives hell too. I was a plague on the galaxy, I deserved to be removed from it.
I could hear my Master, Darth Sidious telling Luke how good he had done and how he needed to strike me down to join him at his side. I flashed back to the day I had killed Dooku. My anger had helped me get the better of him. Sidious, unknown to me at the time, had watched me strike down his apprentice. He had been for years prodding me towards the dark side, towards him. He had told me to kill Dooku, to eliminate his apprentice and ultimately fill the void that I had left.
With a jolt I realized this was the test I had failed. I had given into Sidious and listened to his wishes, putting his judgement over mine. I could see Sidious now, standing only a few feet behind Luke. His old yellow face holding a grin at my imminent demise. The turmoil within Luke was palpable. His desire to give into his hate and the desire to forgive.
Luke looked at me and seemed to make his choice. He took his lightsaber and flung it aside and turned towards the Emperor.
"I will never join you, I'm a Jedi, like my father before me." I heard Luke say.
An immense pride filled me, my son had done what I coudn't. He had resisted the Emperor and held true to his beliefs. My son was a far better man than I ever would be.
Once I became aware again Luke was lying on the ground cringing as purple lighting arced throughout his body. As I regained my feet and walked back to the Emperors side I flashed back to Geonosis. I had fool hardily charged into battle against a much more seasoned Jedi in Dooku. He effortlessly disposed of me with his force lighting. I remember the pain I felt and the loss of control of my body.
Lukes cries of help brought me back to the present. He cried out for me to save him and an instinct I had never felt before surged through me. For the first time in my life I wanted to protect my children.
Perhaps it was imagination but as I advanced towards the Emperor I could've sworn I heard Obi-Wans voice telling me I could do it. Using the force I increased my strength and grabbed the Emperor. The lighting shooting from his fingers came and hit me. The pain of burning in lava was nothing compared to my masters lighting. I instantly felt like collapsing and dying on the spot. Yet the will to protect my son drove me forward.
Once I had reached the port that led all the way down to the reactor of the Death Star I threw him down. In doing this I rid the galaxy of two of its greatest plagues. Somewhere along the way I had felt his lighting override the systems of my suit and I knew I would die. Yet I didn't feel dread, it was more like happiness that this was all behind me.
I was vaguely aware of the Death Star shaking and my son dragging me with him. My mind however was focused on that of my wife. Her wavy brown hair cascading down and framing her beautiful face. Her chocolate brown eyes, sparkling as I walked into our apartment after months apart. The smile that always warmed my heart. After all these years I was going to see her.
Then I remembered why she wasn't here beside me. My selfish actions, putting faith in only myself and not her or the Jedi. I had destroyed any possible future for us by putting my trust in an evil man and turning my back on my family. I didn't deserve to see her again, or any of them. I was doing them and the galaxy a favor by dying.
The pain of my old wounds seemed new as Luke laid me down on the deck of a fighter ship. The lack of oxygen was clouding my vision making it hard to think. Every part of my body ached, the force no longer supporting me.
I vaguely heard myself as Luke to remove my helmet to look upon him with my own eyes. Despite his protest Luke removed my helmet, the computer overlays gone from my damaged sight for the last time. I could feel myself slipping away.
Through my damaged eyes I looked at my son as Anakin would've. I filled with pride for my son. I was amazed by how much he resembled me, though before now I had never let myself see it. My vision began to fade and behind Luke stood Obi-Wan, the one I knew from the clone wars.
He smiled at me, "It's time Anakin, come home."
I studied his face the neatly trimmed beard and combed over hair; everything just as I remembered it.
"Master, I'm so sorry," I said in Anakins young stong voice.
"It's okay Anakin, we've been awaiting you for quite some time."
He slipped into an explanation for how I could become one with the Force and join the others. Doubt held me back, the doubt that I deserved to be welcomed back as a hero. All the terrible things I've done forgotten with the death of one, when I'd killed thousands in his name? Perhaps I was better off suffering for all eternity.
"Anakin," Ob-Wan said his voice becoming softer, "She's been waiting for you."
All my doubts faded once I learned Padme was waiting for me. I needed to hold her again and tell her how sorry I was. She deserved someone fare better than me.
Following the instructions Obi-Wan had relayed to me, I slowly felt the physical pain of my body leave. I could feel my limbs back where they belonged. I arrived at a lakes edge, looking over I was greeted by my reflection. My long bushy dirty blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. I looked at my arms and legs realizing they were all flesh and blood. I grinned like crazy, finally free of the pain I had deservedly endured for so long.
"Well, it certainly is good to see you again my friend." I heard Obi-Wan say behind me.
My grin grew wider as I closed the distance and gave him a bear hug. All the anger and fears I had dissapeared back in my oldest friends company. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed him.
"I'm so sorry Master. I've...I've done terrible things." I said, feeling tears welling in my eyes.
"Anakin, it's alright," Obi-Wan said stepping back and holding me at arms length.
"It isn't alright! I killed so many innocent people. All the Jedi, you, Padme! I don't even deserve to be here!" I yelled in anguish, tears falling down my face freely.
"We've forgiven you Anakin, why can't you forgive yourself?" A figure said appearing out of nowhere.
"Master...Windu?" I gasped.
The image of that fateful night filling my head. The night I had willingly became Darth Vader by assisting in his death.
"Yes young one, I've forgiven you. You're a Jedi again and we're proud of you Anakin." Mace said, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"But I...I killed you Master. I believed that monster over you."
"Clouded all our minds were, hmmm?" A little green man said hobbling over to us. "To his trap we all fell."
My head was about to explode, I had single handedly ruined all their lives and they so easily forgave me? At the same time however my heart filled with joy at seeing them here, happy and at peace.
I was about to reply when a presence I had yearned for for decades appeared. Her sudden arrival would've stopped my heart if I had one. Even through this distance her simple aura was enough to complete me.
The Master before me smiled and parted so I could walk. Obi-Wan reassuringly grabbed my shoulder as I walked past. If I still had a heart it would've been racing in nervousness. Unable to stand the separation any longer I took off in a sprint. Arriving in a peaceful clearing my eyes automatically found her.
Her dress was the one she wore all those years ago on Naboo, before the Clone Wars. Her curly brown hair was held back by the net over her hair. Her warm brown eyes met mine and my sprint increased. The beautiful smile that I longed for reached her face as I neared.
Finally coming into contact I hugged her and spun her around. Tears greeted my eyes as I couldn't keep all the evil things I'd done from coming to the forefront of my mind. I was the reason she was dead; why we couldn't spend our lives together.
I fell to my knees, "I'm so sorry," I choked out through the tears.
"Ani..." Her sweet voice whispered as she pulled my head to her torso. I sobbed into her chest unable to control myself.
"Ani, we've forgiven you. You're a good man." She said softly, placing both hands on my face and gently pulling me away.
All I saw when I looked into her eyes was the loving wife I'd lost. There was no anger or hatred, just love and happiness for me to be in her arms again.
She wiped away my tears, "We've all been waiting a long time for you Ani. I've waited a long time."
"I wished everyday that there was a way to go back and change what I'd done! Yet the simple fact that I couldn't fueled my rage and brought about my self loathing. For what I've done to you, the Jedi, and the galaxy, I've despised myself for decades."
"Ani, why are you so hard on yourself? You need to learn to forgive." She said a bit exasperated.
I got to my feet, "Why am I so hard on myself?" I shouted but sadness took me over again.
"I killed the woman I love, killed my family in the Jedi, put my best friend through hell and killed him. The galaxy was scared of me. Then our children... our boy and girl." I shuddered thinking about them.
"I might be able to forgive myself for most of it but you, our children, even Obi-Wan, I've wronged you all to where I can never fix it." I finished barely above a whisper, looking down at the ground.
"Anakin," Padme said reaching out for me and pulling me close. "You did what you were destined to do. You brought balance to the Force."
I pulled away and snorted," I completely unbalanced the Force. I killed all the Jedi and let two Sith Lords rule."
"She's right Anakin, you brought balance to the Force." I heard Obi-Wan say joining us in the clearing.
"How Master? I brought the galaxy into darkness and left it there."
"As much as we regret to say this Anakin, the Jedi were corrupt. They had to fall as did the Sith. The Jedi being arrogant and believing we had the right to rule didn't understand we were part of the problem."
I stared at him in shock. Obi-Wan, the Jedi who was always telling me the greatness of the council, was now telling me they were corrupt? It made sense though. The Jedi had ruled for over a thousand years while the Sith had been out of the galaxy. So it was time for the Sith to rule. So wiping out the Jedi and ultimately the Sith had brought the Force to balance, of course after being on the two extreme sides.
I offered a small smile, "Perhaps you're right Master."
He grabbed my shoulder, "When are you going to learn I'm always right Anakin?"
" I never learned it all those years ago, so probably never."
He chuckled, "Well you wouldn't be Anakin if you listened anyway."
I turned away from him back to Padme, "Well my love, perhaps I can learn to forgive myself."
I wrapped my arms around her face and pulled her in for a kiss. Our lips met and I would've melted if I could have. Waiting all those decades for this was definitely worth it.
When we pulled apart I left my forehead against hers. Being in her presence again was intoxicating, and now that I was learning to forgive myself, it was getting even better.
"I love you Ani, I always have." Padme whispered.
"So have I my love, so have I."
Obi-Wan cleared his throat, and when we broke apart I swear he looked a bit flustered.
"Anakin we need to go," He said.
I knit my eyebrows, "Go where?"
"Your son awaits."
This is part one of two oneshots I'm going to be posting for this story. It is sort of like a prologue to my story titled Second Chance where Anakin comes back from the dead and joins Luke and Leia to take on a new threat in the galaxy. Thanks for reading and please review.