Nothing At All - One Shot.
Shaun's P.O.V.
I missed him. So much. He was my everything, except he never knew he was. Right before he died, I whispered that I loved him, right in his ear. They were the last things he heard, before the light in his eyes dimmed and he left the world forever. I can't deal with this. I fucking need him. I loved him. He never knew how much. Every friendly hug we shared, it meant more for me. Every smile, meant more. Every touch of skin, it meant more for me than it ever did for him.
I remembered practicing singing with him, and making music, every night. Every moment I tried to spare with him. Now he's gone. It'll never happen again. Andy was my everything. I can't do this.
The cold feeling of the blade ran across my chest slowly, and I moaned in pain, and watched the blood drip in pleasure. It dripped from my chest, to the hard cold gravel of the sidewalk. I felt the night chill against my open wound, running through me, and into my spine.
The blood dripped through to my shirt, soaking it, turning the pale white to a rich crimson red. I stabbed myself in the gut, it hurt, but not as much as when I had found out Andy had been murdered.
I collapsed into a heap in the gutter at this though, using some of the last of my strength to hack away at my wrist. I felt a shudder run through my body, and it started shutting down slowly. Everything went black, then white, then reality came back slowly. Three men came behind me, where I lay in a heap in the gutter. One kicked me sharply in the gut, whilst the others laughed and mocked me. I couldn't move. I just wanted to give up.
I felt a cigarette fall onto my chest, and a boot stomped hard against it, making me throw up blood. They laughed and kicked me again, spitting on my chest. It burned as their saliva ran into my open wounds.
The pain suddenly stopped.
I heard sirens, I heard people talking loudly to me. But he was there too. Behind the ambulances, my family, behind everyone, Andy was floating peacefully watching me die. He smiled and beckoned me closer. I tried to get up, but someone was holding me down. Why can't they let me go? I need him. I need him.
'He's talking to himself.' I heard one of the paramedics say to another. 'He's trying to go toward something that doesn't exist.'
'ANDY EXISTS.' I screamed, and everything went white again. I could still hear everyone, it was just my vision gone. Another flash of pain bolted through my thigh. I needed Andy. Andy. I need him, so much. I love him. I can't do this, without him.
'Andy is dead.. HE'S DEAD.' Bradie screamed, before someone took him away. His voice vanished and I saw Andy in my mind again. I tried to reach forward and touch him, but my arm went straight through him. He began fading away. I tried to cry out to him, but he left. I suddenly snapped back into reality, where paramedics were loading me onto an ambulance. Why? I was fine, I just needed Andy. Andy. Andy.
His voice ran through my mind a million times. I reached into the air, searching for something that wasn't there. I felt blood pouring out of my chest still.
'He's losing too much blood! We're gonna lose him soon!' someone yelled and people rushed around me, jabbing things into my body. It hurt, why am I even here? My body shuddered again. I threw up another lot of blood, and I felt as empty as a balloon. It seemed to be just air holding me up.
With the last of my energy, I lifted my head, and saw the bloody mangled mess of my body underneath me. I moaned in pain and saw Andy's face in the back of my mind again.
'He doesn't look so good.. he's going pale!' someone yelled, and more needles jabbed into me. I gagged and collapsed back again.
'We're losing him!' a machine started beeping like crazy, it echoed in my ears and throughout my skull, ringing in my brain. My leg twitched uncontrollably.
'I'll be fine.' I whispered, more to myself, but I don't know if anyone heard me over the loud beeping and yelling of doctors. I felt a presence around me and smiled. My wrists and body burned in pain, but I smiled nevertheless. It was Andy. He's come to take me. I can be with him forever. My mind reached up to his, and I felt him take me slowly. The beeping slowed down and finally came to an end. Everything faded to a white, and everyone, including Andy disappeared. All noise and consciousness disappeared, until I was nothing.
For the first time since Andy had died, I felt nothing.
Without him, I'm nothing.
With him, I'm nothing.
Nothing at all.