I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or anything related to it. Nor do I own the lyrics or the song here. It is Sentenced - Broken if anyone's interested.
Lyrics
Edward Elric was standing before a grave that shouldn't exist. It should have been many years in the making, instead of him and his failures it was created and placed in the western most plot in the graveyard.
It had a name that would remain with the blonde boy for the rest of his life, the happy face it brought in his mind would haunt him and remind him for the price of his failings, of his inadequacies.
I have come a long way where I started from
but I'm still not even close to where I'm going.
The flash of him and Alphonse in the cellar with the purple lights came to his mind once again as this was just as big of a misfortune to him.
(and now) I can no longer see the shine
that has been lighting up my way.
I cannot feel its glowing.
Nina Tucker was chiseled in the gray stone with angelic beings holding the plaque, the dates of birth and death were something that he would never be able to see, to read and inprint as she had been far too young to be taken.
The fire in my heart is dying
and the zeal I had is gone.
Edward felt lost and alone for the first time since seeing the creature that he had traded the body of his brother to in his arrogance. For the first time he actually contemplated about giving up and just disappearing somewhere.
This path that I've chosen's a rocky one,
Long, hard and frozen it has become.
Each turn that I've taken on the way,
has only led me back to Hell.
I am dying down, growing weaker now.
It could seem that I'm doing fine
but I'm broken to little pieces deep inside.
He remembered when Mustang first came to see him and Alphonse, the way how his words had resonated inside him and given him direction, a way to move forward. But as the memories of everything he had seen and experienced was flooding his mind, he started to doubt the worth of it all.
Why did I ever choose to go this way?
The question I keep asking myself all the time.
I guess it was my instinct for self-destruction,
that pointed me down, down this way
He dropped to his knees in front of the grave of the little girl who had given him a resemblance of a normal life after so long and cried for forgiveness at the loss of it because of his inability to understand the bigger scheme of things.
The fire in my eyes is dying,
and the dream I had is gone.
He could still hear Shou's voice, speaking words that he did not want to hear. Accusing him of things he accused himself of. And the worst of it all, he WAS like him. He was a monster that had done unspeakable things because he could, because he was sure he could solve anything and make things right. The cold, wet gravestone was proving him wrong and the feeling of hopelessness it brought to him was crushing him.
This path that I've chosen's a rocky one.
Long, hard and frozen it has become.
Each turn that I've taken on the way,
has only led me back to Hell.
I am dying down, growing weaker now.
It could seem that I'm doing fine,
but I'm broken to little pieces deep inside.
He wiped his tears and shook of the mud and leaves from the knees of his pants. Edward patted the gravestone as a goodbye and marched towards his brother with the same face of determination that everyone was used to see. With the same fire that was always burning deep inside his soul, not a flicker of the doubts and self-loathing was seen on the surface. Not until something reminded him just how human he really was.
It could seem that I'm doing fine,
but I'm broken to little pieces deep inside.
So I was listening to music while writing, like I always do and this song came out of my WinAmp and this scene hit me right in the middle of my head. Couldn't get rid of it and yes I know this is a song fic but I think it suits this. Tell me what do you think.
-DraXXter