A gift for Andrea.
It all starts with Alexis. And although he's pretty sure that this wasn't what his daughter had intended when she told him, "who knows, if you're lucky, you'll get to kiss her under the mistletoe", it had all set his master plan into motion.
Step 1 (hang a mistletoe in a 100% secure location)
He decides that right in front of the elevator would be the best spot to hang the mistletoe. There are a few people who shoot him strange looks, but he replies to them with a, "Just spreading some Christmas spirit" and a smile and they leave him be.
He thinks that seeing as they usually ride the elevator alone, the chances of ending up under the mistletoe must be at what, 99,9%? A safe bet.
xx
They are both shivering when they enter the precinct after interrogating two possible suspects for their case. She has her shoulders hunched up and her cheeks are rosy and he has to fight back the urge to touch her skin and warm her up.
Her hands are both wrapped around her coffee cup, red and trembling, trying to absorb some of its heat.
He watches the numbers flash on the small display over the doors until it finally hovers over the four and the elevator stops.
The doors open with a distant ping, almost inaudible to his ears and he steps out of the elevator. He's already looking up at the mistletoe, dangling over their heads, only mere meters from where they are now.
And then his master plan fails.
He only vaguely notices Esposito running toward them from the corners of his peripheral vision and when he comes to a halt in front of them it's already too late to react.
He hands Beckett a file he has been working through and that should get them somewhere in this case and when she takes it and looks up to thank him her eyes get caught on the mistletoe, directly over his and Esposito's head.
A kind of Cheshire cat grin starts to form on her lips and even though he knows that she will never let them ignore it, he is glad to see that at least she isn't shivering so badly anymore.
Esposito is noticing the smile too and after a second of confusion his eyes get caught on the object above them as well. The look of dread crossing over his face is almost worth having to kiss him.
"Looks like you have a duty to fulfill, guys" she is still grinning wildly and her tongue peeks out from behind her lips and although she is laughing at him he can't help but think that she's adorable.
Esposito's eyes widen comically and he takes a couple steps back.
"Nuh-uh", Beckett raises her index finger in a silent threat.
"But I'm in a relationship", he protests feebly.
"I'm sure Lanie won't get jealous over you kissing Castle"
"But-"
Becket cocks her head and raises her eyebrow in a way that doesn't leave room for discussion. She can be quite terrifying if she wants to be.
"Let's just get this over with"
Espo stares at him for a second and then takes a small step forwards. He is still standing quite the distance away from him and actually starts bending forward, craning out his neck toward him like a turtle and Castle huffs out a, "oh for the love of god" before he takes a step forward and presses his lips on Espo's.
It is wrong on so many levels and their teeth actually clash together because there had been a little too much force on Castle's part. It only takes a second but afterwards they stare at each other in horror before they both turn around quickly to flee from the scene and never talk about it again.
When they are seated at Beckett's desk she is still suppressing a laugh and the amused smile that breaks out on her face every time she looks at him and that little bite she does onto her lower lip to keep the smile from spreading, makes him think that maybe it was all worth it after all.
Step 2 (repeat step one)
He decides that there is no giving up after failure and seeing as he still has a little over two weeks until Christmas he still has time to come up with a better location, a better plan.
Xx
He hangs the mistletoe in the parking lot. He knows they'll drive to visit one of their victim's family members tomorrow and will have to go down there to get to the car.
They are usually alone, so he estimates the risks of kissing the wrong person (again) to be quite low.
He would have hung the mistletoe right in her car, though he doesn't really think he'd get away with it.
They are wrapping up the rest of today's work. Or well, she is, he is mostly playing Angry Birds on his phone.
When she lets the pen drop his eyes shoot up to find her smiling at him with a little bit of exhaustion and a little bit of relief over being done for the day.
"So Castle, care for a ride home?" she usually doesn't offer, then again he usually doesn't stay for paper work.
"Sure, why not?" he tries to sound indifferent but the prospect of maybe getting the chance to kiss her tonight makes him smile with childlike-joy.
He really shouldn't do this.
They take the elevator down to the parking lot and he when they wait in front of the elevator he thinks how he would have absolutely gotten kissed now, because there is literally no one here anymore.
When they enter the elevator they hear a, "Hold up" coming from behind and only seconds later Montgomery joins them in the small stall.
They ride down to the parking ground together and walk side-by-side through the grey darkness of the underground expanses.
The Captain's car is parked directly next to Beckett's and they are both parking underneath his mistletoe.
The prospects of possible outcomes for this situations are less than rosy and he already feels the slight anxiety churning in his stomach. Fucking Murphy's law.
When they reach the cars she goes around hers to open it on the driver's side. He is left standing in front of her car. He really doesn't want to pinch in the small room left between Montgomery's and Beckett's car because that would place him directly underneath the mistletoe, but Beckett is already staring at him in confusion as to why he is not moving to get inside and maybe if he just goes for it, no one will notice.
He practically yelps at the car and pulls at the door to get it open, out of the corner of his eye he watches Montgomery standing and waiting for him to get inside so he can access his car as well.
Just when he is about to get inside Montgomery moves in closer and seriously what the hell is he doing?
"Oh and Castle, I got the number of the guy you wanted to talk to"
Right, he remembers their conversation a couple of days ago. He had asked to speak to a lawyer, who dealt with high profile cases and could possibly help him on some details for his next book and Montgomery had promised to see whether he could make it happen. He retrieves a card from his jacket and moves in closer to hand it to him and seriously this is the worst timing ever.
Ever.
When he grabs the card he risks a quick glance at the mistletoe as if to check whether it was still dangling above them with its impending doom and that, to be honest, is the only reason that things turn out the way they do.
Montgomery looks up as well and then he just shrugs and mumbles a, "might as well" before he leans forward to kiss Castle with a quick peck on the lips.
This one is even worse and when he takes his seat in the car and glances at Beckett as she starts driving, he finds her with her lips pressed together and her chest trembling with inaudible laughter.
She lasts five minutes, right until they are stuck at a red traffic light before she breaks and the laughter escapes her lips freely. She closes her eyes a couple of times, seemingly trying to gather herself but whenever he thinks she has regained her composure she seems to think about it again and the laughing starts over again.
"Castle, had I known you were so into kissing guys, I would have set you up with my Cousin years ago"
He actually rolls his eyes at that and it's a role-reversal he isn't quite happy with.
She is still laughing when she lets him out in front of his block and when he starts moving toward the huge glass doors she calls a cheerful, "be careful not to kiss anybody, Castle" before driving away.
Step 3 (what is wrong with you? Make step one work for crying out loud)
He really isn't ready to give up on operation mistletoe, although he is running out of places to actually hang it and so he just kind of waits for inspiration to hit him. It's gotten to a point where it is kind of ridiculous and has him carrying around a mistletoe 24/7. It's as pathetic as it sounds.
They enter the morgue on a Tuesday, 7 days until Christmas.
They usually never have to wait to get updated on their case, but today some other cop is already inside, talking to Lanie and so they take a seat outside, waiting to be called in.
"You want some coffee?", she asks. He knows the coffee here is gross and tastes more like hot water mixed with some kind of vinegar but he nods in despite of it.
When she turns around to walk toward the coffee vending machine he takes his chances and quickly makes his way over to the door leading to autopsy room, and hangs the mistletoe right into the doorframe.
He knows it's risky. She might have seen that there had been none when they entered and he probably won't be able to convince her with stories about how some elves came in to hang it, but there is the small probability that she has not seen it being empty before and that this one time his plan will work out.
He promises himself that this will be the last try.
When she gets back she hands him a red cup with little stars on it and the absolutely horrifying smell of this coffee fills his nostrils and makes him regret that he actually asked for one.
"Thanks" he manages to croak out.
When the door finally opens and the cop he recognizes to be Detective Fuller steps out, she is out of her chair in a speed that should not be legal. She is through the door in seconds and he stands up with a kind of grumpy expression on his face because now he has to make the exit count and just seriously why does she have to make this this hard?
He keeps his eyes focused on the floor and the dark and kind of threatening liquid in his cup. He wonders whether it could kill him if he drank more than the two sips he had already managed to gulp down.
It's only due to his forced focus that he doesn't notice and so essentially, the coffee and therefore Kate are to blame for the course of events following next. Yes, it is all Kate's fault.
He feels her colliding with him before he manages to look up. For some magical reason he can keep the coffee from spilling all over Lanie's clothes but that doesn't change the fact that they are currently standing in the doorway, chests pressed together, underneath a mistletoe.
"Castle, would you mind?" she gestures for him to open the way through the door and he almost jumps back in order to let her through.
She did not see.
She did not see.
But then she steps forward and he doesn't know why (probably because he has been staring at it again and seriously why does he keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again) but she looks up and notices their present situation.
"Well, come here then writer boy"
He's not sure how he manages to reply with a "man" before Lanie's lips are pressed to his.
It's short but way more forceful than he had expected and that woman sure uses a lot of strength to press her lips (that by the way are extremely soft) to his. She most certainly has some kind of lip-gloss on and he can feel it on his lips before she pulls away.
"Now can I go and get my water?" she asks and he just nods, completely dumfounded.
"Yeah, yeah"
He is definitely not trying this again.
Step 4 (give up)
She's sitting on the couch, phone pressed against her ear and a glass of wine in her hands. Lanie's voice is filling her ears with stories about how Espo made the most amazing dinner and she didn't know he could cook and so on. When eventually their conversation dies down, Beckett decides that a change of topic is in order.
"So what was it like, kissing Castle?"
"Well he's got like, satin on his lips or something" Lanie laughs and after a second continues speaking, "You know why he is doing this though right?"
"Doing what?"
"Oh please, Kate, I know you two have the tendency to be completely ignorant of everything around you but I never realized to which extent" Lanie sounds a little agitated now and she is truly not quite sure where she is getting at.
"What are you talking about?"
"The mistletoe thing?" there is silence on Beckett's end, "Really? You didn't notice?"
"Notice what?"
"The common element?" she huffs out a frustrated sigh, "Javi told me that Castle has kissed him, Montgomery and now me and you did not even question why there were so many mistletoes in the first place? Who the hell puts a mistletoe in a parking lot?" when there is still no sign of a dawning realization on Kate's end she continues, "We did not have a mistletoe down at the morgue. Well not until you two showed up that is. Now Kate, you tell me, what was the common element in all those kisses?"
"I don't know, Castle?"
"No girlfriend, you"
"What?" Lanie that is just-"
"True?" she interrupts, "Think about it, you were always right there, had things gone even slightly different he would have been kissing you"
"That's crazy Lanie, Castle wouldn't run around hanging mistletoes everywhere just so he could kiss me"
"Wouldn't he?"
And there is some truth to that statement. Because in all her years of knowing Castle now, she has come to the conclusion that sometimes, those completely and utterly irritating and ridiculous things, those that are a little child-like and a little adorable are precisely his way of acting.
"Maybe he would"
Step 5 (wait)
It's two days to Christmas and he has pretty much accepted defeat by now, and has decided to drown his sorrows in Christmas cookies and ice cream while watching "It's a wonderful life"
He pauses the movie when there is a knock at his door. He can truly say that he did not expect what was greeting him on the other side.
She is smiling at him when he opens the door. She's wearing a red scarf and her cheeks are slightly flushed and her eyes are bright and sometimes he still wonders how it is possible for a person to be all that she is. Though this time around it is not just her that has his mouth opening in wonder and his eyes widening, it is the position she is in.
Her arm is stretched out above her head in a kind of ballerina-like pose and she is holding something in her fingers to dangle over her head and his breath gets caught in his throat and his heart stutters and he is pretty sure that he is not going to make it.
She is holding a mistletoe.
Her grin turns a little more shy now, the cockiness leaving her eyes and she glances up at him and shrugs a little hesitant. "Rules are rules"
His eyes widen and he nods his head so fast he actually feels dizzy and when the wide and honest smile returns to her lips he takes the step forward and presses his lips onto hers.
Step 6 (kiss her senseless)
He isn't sure how long to kiss her. He isn't sure what's appropriate. He isn't even sure why she is here in the first place but when they break apart, a little breathy and a little disoriented, he can still taste her breath on his lips, the coffee and something sweeter, and he is pretty sure that he won't be able to stop any time soon.
Her eyes flutter open and her eyelashes are so close to his face he could pass out and he leans forward again to press his lips onto hers once more. She starts smiling when her lips open up to his and it tastes like fire and ice and he thinks that the world could break apart around her smile and it would be only right.
He loses his mind completely when she traces the contours of his lips with her tongue and it lasts for only a second before she pulls back.
Her eyes are still closed and she takes a deep breath before she looks up at him and finds him already staring at her in wonder. One corner of her lips turns up in a perfect kind of half-smile as she says, "Merry Christmas, Castle"
His plans always work.
AN: Firstly this was inspired by a SQ story I read a while ago and I got so excited that I decided to twist the general idea a little bit around. I hope you like it and enjoy the Christmas season! Also this is dedicated to Andrea, who said "Surprise me", and I hope you will like it:) I guess this is slightly crack, and I am still not sure what I think about it.