IT'S NOT ALL RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS

MARI'S POV

Since I was still pretty exhausted from the flight, I only put my hair in a messy ponytail. I peeked in the mirror and was surprised. I have never looked more horrible. My eyes were slightly red, my cheeks puffy and my lips dry. Going out like this wouldn't fool anybody. I tried covering it with make-up, it did help a little, but I still didn't look like the "real Mari". Despite my horrible shape I had to take off and shoot some videos. And if I'm honest I really missed the guys. At least they'll put a smile on my face.

While I was driving to the Smosh HQ it started to rain. Yay, now the weather is compatible with my mood. I know I shouldn't be sad. Every end is a new beginning. At least that's what everyone says.
I've always loved the rain. It calmed me down. Though this time I couldn't stop thinking and sadly, I got lost in memories.
Every time it was raining I would wear one of his soft hoodies and he would put his arms around me. We watched silly movies, mostly comedies, we just lay there until one of us fell asleep. Usually, it was me. I've always felt safe around him, like no one would harm me. And I was absolutely sure no one would. But in the end, he did.
Looking back like this makes me think if I ever truly loved him, and vice versa. Of course I was in love with him, it was like he put a spell on me. But I wasn't sure anymore. I think we used each other for affection and the feeling of being loved. I wish I would have seen it earlier, not now. Saying all this makes it look like I don't give a fuck about him, or our relationship. But actually I am very hurt. Losing someone that has been a part of your life for years is like losing a part of yourself. I am afraid nobody can fill in the hole he left. Well, of course someone will, but I'm not that hopeful. I had break ups before, but nothing was ever like this. I've never had such an intimate and caring relationship, but not it doesn't seem real. Like we pretended to be someone else the entire time we've been together. And I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not. I want to be with someone who will accept me the way I am.
Good luck with that, Mari.

THIRD PERSON'S POV

It was still raining as Mari pulled in to the Smosh HQ parking lot. There weren't many cars outside, just a few. When Mari got out of the car she looked up. The sky was pretty grey, but slowly the sun was showing.

"A rainbow is coming," she said to herself while looking up.

She was right. Maybe that meant things are going to get better. After the rain the sun always shines. That meant for Mari to look at life more optimistic. And she did, kind of. All she wanted was to be happy, and she will be! At least today. After some time she is about to see the boys again and let's say, her heart was dancing from excitement. But that confused her. Of course she was happy to see them again, but she didn't react that reaction. Maybe that just meant something good is going to happen.

"It better," Mari mumbled to herself.

After about two minutes of walking she finally reached the door. Before entering she closed her umbrella. But it wasn't normal umbrella. It was yellow with Pikachu's face on it. The yellow shone so bright, you could sometimes see it in the dark. She loved it. It was a gift from the Smosh boys for her birthday. Every time she looked at it she smiled and thought of how happy she was every time it started to rain. She loved it just because of the umbrella. She loved going on long walks, just showing it off to the whole wide world.
Thinking about it she smiled and stepped in to the building with a bright smile plastered on her face.
She put her umbrella where the others were and recognized some of them.
She cleaned her shoes and happily walked to the game room. To be honest she didn't walk, she practically ran there.
When she finally reached the door she stopped and just stood there. In her mind she saw all of their faces, smiling and laughing. Anthony, with his bright grin, laughing like a child. Joven with his unique walrus laugh that was burned into her memory. Ian with his manly laugh, that was in conflict with his personality. Lasercorn with his rather reserved shy laugh, but when he found something really funny, he laughed hard. And then there was Matt. He has the shiest smile. He had one of this smiles that made your heart warm. You did not know why, but it just did. And Mari couldn't wait to see him smile, it would make her feel better instantly.

"Maybe it's selfish thinking like that, but I need it."

Little did she know, his smile was not everything what she needed.