Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Eric Kripke, the CW and all. No profit has been made, and no harm is intended in writing this story.
Author's Notes: Quite frankly I have no idea why I wanted to write this. I don't write anything even remotely romantic, ever, and while I own tarot cards I don't show them off or do readings for people anymore. While my experiences reading for friends, and getting them done for me, have been varied they were by no means like what happens here.
If Tarot card readings are not your thing, an actual reading does not take place, not in the traditional sense anyway. If they are nothing here is meant to poke fun at, or upset anyone in any way shape or form.
For those waiting on Scar Tissue it is coming. I swear it is. This one just kinda jumped up and said Me next! Me next! I do hope to get back to it shortly. Hopefully after my mid-term exam.
Special thanks to Muffy for the beta.
Dealt Cards
by infinite shadow
They would walk, or take in a movie or just go for coffee. A Saturday afternoon for just the two of them. It had started out as dates when they'd first met. Then slowly just became a weekly thing when they'd moved into their apartment just skirting the campus.
It didn't matter where they went. They just left the apartment, their friends and studies behind for an hour or two. The breaks made Sam breathe and relax from his heavy study load, and he knew it was the same for Jess.
Jess. It still surprised him they were together. She was so beautiful, so smart and so rolling her eyes at him.
"Sam!" she said and smiled as she touched his cheek.
He reached up and curled his larger hand over her smaller one as he smiled into her eyes.
"Ah. So you are with me," she said with a smirk before she leaned in a hair's breadth away from his lips.
"Hmmm?" Sam said, giving her a smile before he pulled back slightly then reached up and kissed her forehead. He peppered her skin with kisses on her temple, her cheek until he got down to her jaw. He nipped and tickled with his breath before he kissed the skin just over her beating pulse.
His free hand gently touched the other side of her face before he wrapped it in her long hair. He continued to tease her with slow gentle kisses, nips and licks until she moaned breathlessly under his ministrations.
Pulling back again, he felt a small rush as he saw her eyes open half way in a sleep, dreamy kind of way. It thrilled him he could do that to her every time.
Sam cleared his throat. "So where are we going today?" he asked and couldn't help move his hand back to cup her jaw and run a thumb over her flushed cheek. He knew he could talk her into staying home, but he enjoyed the few hours away from everything with her.
"Tease," she sighed with a frown then smiled at him again. "And I'm so not gonna tell you now. You just get your coat and shoes on. I'll surprise you."
Sam waited as she gracefully stood up from his lap and headed for the door.
"Let's go lover-boy," Jess said with an extra swish to her jean clad hips and tossed a wink over her shoulder.
He caught up to her just as she turned, and backed her into the wall. He nipped her lower lip, before running his tongue gently across her lips. He almost groaned as he realized she was wearing his favourite flavoured lip gloss, and dove in when her lips parted. He kissed her playfully for a few minutes before coming up for breath. She melted against him, her hands fisting handfuls of his t-shirt at his back, and her head resting against his shoulder.
Jess sighed as she snuggled into his shoulder and stayed there for a moment before straightening up and blinking brightly at her boyfriend. "So we should go."
"What?" Sam said in mock surprise. "That wasn't enough to convince you to stay home with me just this once?"
"Saaammmm," Jess whined. "I got this whole thing planned."
He laughed as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they headed out.
They talked of trivial things as they walked. Sam thought she was leading to a favoured coffee shop. But they went past it. He realized a while later they were headed toward the art gallery. One of the few places he had a hard time going. Too quiet, stuffy and boring. And really he'd had enough of art in the freshman class he'd taken.
"Jess," he said softly cutting her off mid-sentence, not knowing what she'd been rambling on about. Sam gently pulled her a bit closer to him. "Where're we goin'?"
"Almost there," Jess said, then leaned up, kissed his cheek and smiled. She took a step back so she was a bit ahead of him. Reaching out, she took his hand in hers and pulled slightly to get him walking again. "C'mon. It'll be fun."
Even all this time at school, and his time with Jess, he hated surprises. After all he'd seen hunting with his brother and father surprises were hardly ever good. Usually they ended with stitches, breaks or a dressing down from dad, and sometimes Dean, but only when he'd scared the hell of out his big brother.
"Hey."
Sam blinked down at her. He frowned as his girlfriend rubbed gently at his forehead. "You've got that line there again. Stop thinking so much. You'll ace that test on Monday."
Sam smiled down at her and made himself relax. She would never know what truly worried him, and if she assumed he was worried about a test, he wasn't going to correct her. Shoving away the pang of homesickness he cleared his throat. "You're right."
"Yeah," she said as she cocked her head slightly. "I am. Now come on."
"Just where are you taking me anyway."
"You'll see."
Almost a half hour later they entered a small mall. Sam stopped and frowned at Jess. "It's a warm gorgeous day outside and we're in a mall?"
"Jeez, Sam, you make it sound like I'm about to feed you to wolves or vampires or something," Jess said with a bemused smile and roll of her eyes. "It'll be fun. I promise."
"Elevator music, crowds of people and shopping? This equates fun... how, exactly?"
"Oh, well, not the music. C'mon," she said, turned and pulled him along behind her.
It surprised him a little that she didn't drag him into a clothing store or to look at jewellery or anything like that. He slowed outside a lingerie shop pulling her to a stop along with him. He smirked at the almost dressed mannequin in the window then glanced over at Jess and wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"In your dreams," Jess said with a disgusted wrinkle of her nose as she pulled her hand out of his and walked away.
Sam hurried to catch up. They approached the centre of the mall to find several tables set up.
Sam let her walk a few strides ahead of him, when she stopped near two tables he stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. It helped to quell the icy fear that had settled over him.
"So what's with this? I didn't know you were into tarot," Sam said softly his cheek against her hair.
"Well I'm not, not really. Just thought it'd be fun and all the proceeds go to charity," she replied as she rested her arms over his and leaned back into him.
Sam made himself take a breath and relax. A glance at the tables told him they were comfortable with their art. None looked like the man he remembered from his teens. He had been giving Dean and Sam their fortunes when his eyes, voice, and flesh changed. It had scared Sam so much he'd been out of the chair so fast it had clattered to the ground before his brother was standing in front of him and exorcising the man.
"Sam? You're crushing me," Jess said softly in distress.
Her shaky voice made him immediately ease up and put a gentle kiss to her hair. "Sorry babe."
Jess turned and looked up at him. She looked up at him as if she was searching for something in his eyes. He looked embarrassed, but she could see through that facade. She knew it was there, that certain 'on guard' sense she got from him whenever they were out of the apartment and in a group of people. Shaking her head slightly she eased one arm around his waist and one over his heart. "Sam, if this makes you uncomfortable we don't have to," she said softly.
"No, no," Sam quickly reassured her. "It's fine. Really, Jess, I mean it could be cool," he said as he scanned the tables and the brightly coloured cards.
"Which do you want? I read about some of them from the write-ups in the paper. I was thinking about a few. I mean there's a gypsy witch deck, a dragon and a few regular tarots' but there was this one...," Jess trailed off as she turned in Sam's arms and scanned the tables again.
"So do you want the dragon or witch tarot?" Sam asked.
Jess shook her head against Sam's chest. "Faery."
"Faery Tarot?"
"Yeah, kinda. They didn't call it tarot though in the paper but I liked the pictures better. Oh she's over there and she's free." Jess shifted to look up at her boyfriend with excited eyes. "Let's go."
Sam took a breath as Jess pulled away from him and reminded himself it wasn't a side show creepfest, just some good folks with a hobby that they were using for a good charity. He made himself take another breath. "It's not the same," he mumbled to himself and approached the table where his girl was standing and shaking hands with the reader.
"This is by boyfriend, Sam. Sam this is Christa," Jess introduced them.
Sam reached out to shake the woman's hand. "Hey."
"Nice to meet you," she said warmly.
Sam felt at ease immediately and a little silly for his behaviour earlier.
"So I only read for one person at a time. Would you both like a reading?"
"Oh," Jess said sounding a bit disappointed. "I was kind of hoping to have one together."
"Sorry, dear. My deck is for one person at a time. Your hand touches the deck. It senses your aura and tells your story."
"Doesn't your hand touch them too?" Sam asked.
"Sam," Jess said.
Christa smiled. "Yes. You're right, Sam. But the person I'm doing the reading for clears the deck, makes their wish before shuffling them gently. I deal them out and read what they tell me."
"Jess, why don't you go first? I can wait," Sam suggested.
"Sure."
"Have a seat, Jess. We'll see you in about a half hour, Sam?" Christa said.
Sam nodded and stepped away. "Now would you like a recording of the reading?" was the last thing he heard before he was out of earshot.
He strolled through the mall, got a coffee and went back to the lingerie shop. The mannequin in the front window was over the top, even for him. He liked his girl sexy not slutty.
Smiling to himself, he knew Jess was sexiest in a tight tee and jeans, talking or laughing or just at ease in her surroundings. Some days just being able to wrap his arms around her was all he needed and his old life didn't intrude at all.
There was nothing in the store that would make Jess more beautiful or more attractive to him. He smiled at the sales girl, shook his head and went back out into the mall.
He found himself in a small, long store with enough accessories to overwhelm his mind. Everything was cheap, but on a small delicate chain had some dainty designs. He knew Jess loved necklaces and had enough to wear a different one without repeating for a month.
Earrings, though, she wore plain studs and hardly had any. He pawed though the shiny and sparkly ones that lined the walls and turntable displays. He was just about to give up when he saw a pair. They looked antique, and they had very small beads on the end of a very small delicate looking length of chain.
Small, delicate and to him beautiful. He didn't buy Jess jewellery or at least hadn't really done it yet. He consoled himself that if she hated it he was only shelling out six bucks.
Perfect.
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When Sam returned the small trinket safely in his pocket, Jess was shaking the woman's hand, smiling. She turned, the radiant happy glow on her face made his heart melt and his breath stutter.
Dean would so call you a sap, or a gonner, or coocoo or something, his inner voice chided.
Sam deliberately ignored the mental picture of his big brother laughing at him and walked over to his girl.
"Hey," he said softly.
"She's great," Jess said giving him a quick peck on her boyfriend's cheek. "I'll see you back here in a little bit."
Sam nodded.
Reaching around him Jess gave him a tight hug. "Fun, Sam. This is fun. Just try to relax, ok? You look like someone kicked your dog," she whispered.
Sam squeezed her tightly against him for a minute. "Don't have a dog," he muttered before letting her go.
True this wasn't something he wanted to do. True it wasn't the best use of their tightly budgeted money, even if it was going to charity. But for that smile, and that look she got in her eyes, Sam would put on a brave happy face, just like she wanted.
He pulled back, not letting go and peered down at her. 'Love you' he mouthed at her.
Jess rolled her eyes at him, which she always did when he never spoke the words aloud.
"Don't spend too much?" he asked hopefully.
"Uh huh," Jess responded before letting go and walking away.
"It's nice of you to do this for her," Christa said softly.
"Yeah," Sam said with an easy shrug.
"You love her," she said and when Sam blushed brightly she gave him a gentle smile. "Shall we begin?"
"I don't believe in this stuff," Sam said as he folded himself onto the small chair.
"We will see what we see."
Christa took out a box of matches and lit the small white candle in the middle of the table.
Sam breathed in the smell of sulphur as the match lit bringing a mix of fond and terrifying thoughts of his teens. Fire had surrounded him all his life between having candles for light when there'd been no money for electricity, or had been staying at a cabin with no electricity, and sulphur was present on most of their cases.
Christa handed him the deck of cards. "Now tap them gently on the table three times. Then pull it through the smoke coming off the candle. This will clear the energy of the last client."
Sam did as instructed and tried to hand the cards back.
"Make a wish and gently shuffle the cards," Christa said.
He took a moment and tried to decide on a wish. "Do I need to tell you what I wish for?"
Christa shook her head. "No. I don't need to know. It's between you, the cards and whatever deity, essence or being you believe in."
"What if I..."
"Everyone believes in something, Sam," Christa said cutting him off. "Even if it's not a God, but the deep affection of a sibling, parent or the love and devotion of a special someone in your life, you believe in something."
Sam nodded. "Yeah, ok," he said softly. He took a deep breath, reminding himself Dean was a massive idiot to take him to that carnival side show when he was barely thirteen. He felt himself start to tense up and made the thoughts go away and thought of Jess instead. A small smile teased the corner of his lips before he made a wish, shuffled the cards one over the other as to not bend the cards as instructed. He handed the cards back to Christa then rested his hands on the purple velvet table cloth and waited for his reading to begin.
"Don't look so worried," Christa said with an easy grin and twinkle in her eyes. "You may not believe, but you're trying to keep your girlfriend happy. Try to look interested in case your girlfriend comes back early."
Sam smiled back at her, feeling even more at ease. "Yeah, you're right."
Christa moved the candle out of the way before she took a deep breath. She began to deal out the cards. The first three near Sam's fingers, the next three under those and finally three more below those.
"Nine? Three by three by three?" Sam said softly.
"Three squared is a powerful combination," Christa said as she frowned down at the cards and her hand rubbed at her temple. "These are a very interesting set of cards."
Sam frowned as he watched her touch the cards. He thought she was going pale as she continued to study the cards. He heard her breath catch. "Are you all right?"
Christa froze for a moment as she stared down at her cards. Sam shifted nervously as he watched her.
She suddenly sat straight up, her eyes looked like all colour had leeched out of them and her face was blank.
"Sam Winchester. Mate to Jessica Moore. Much love surrounds you but death walks close behind. Your past will become your present. No amount of hope will change your destiny. No amount of time will change your future. All will be lost. Find Dean to save your mate and your life."
Colour seeped out of Sam's face as he listened hard to hear all the words softly spoken out of the woman's mouth. Flashes of his nightmares ran across his eyelids when he closed his eyes. Fire. Death. Nothingness.
Christa's voice sounded wrong, strained and almost as if the words were coming from another person or a warped out recording. It made chills run up and down his spine and as she slumped down in her chair Sam shook himself out of his stupor.
"Are you all right?" he asked again, unsure now of the woman in front of him. Possessions weren't new to him, but they'd never looked like this before. He glanced around nervously but no one seemed to have seen the change in Christa. He scanned the area again looking for Dean or his father, but there was no sign of them in the small groups of shoppers around the mall.
Sam was pale, his heart was racing as the woman blinked, her eyes returned to her natural colour and looked around.
It had been almost 2 years since he'd seen, heard from or had a package from his brother. But he hastily took a panicked look around him again to make sure his big brother wasn't lurking around somewhere thinking this had been the greatest prank of the decade. His heart lurched when he realized his brother was nowhere to be found, and the woman was shaking herself out of her trance.
"Christo," he barely managed to croak out.
"I-I ... I'm sorry?" Christa asked softly as she focused on Sam. When he didn't say anything she glanced down at the spread of cards. "What? ... Oh," she stopped, shook her head. "Oh dear. This is a layout for a different deck. Do you mind if we start over?"
Sam swallowed heavily and took a deep steadying breath. "You don't happen to know a Dean Winchester, do you?" he asked faintly.
"I don't believe so. Is he here? Would he like a reading as well?"
"No. And no this was enough, thank you," Sam said haltingly before suddenly standing up. "I need to find Jess. Thank you," he said before bolting away from the table.
He had to find her now. He had to know she was safe. How in the world had this woman... reader... known about the fire? How did she know about the things she muttered? His heart continued to race and his eyes stared at every swish of long blonde hair that was near him.
His feet stuttered slightly when he finally found her. Then he was running, pushing his way through the crowd to get to her. He cursed silently as he came up behind her, relief warring with panic as he wrapped his arms around her and made her gasp in surprise and froze in fear.
"S'me. S'just me," he whispered as he held her against him and just breathed her sent in.
"Sam? What's wrong?" she said just as quietly as she wrapped her hands over his forearms. She could feel his heart hammering against her back making her frown with worry. "Baby, what happened?"
"Nothing. It's nothing, really," Sam said, doing his best to calm down, shoving the fear away like he'd learned as a kid hunting... No he wasn't going there. He wouldn't think about his old life. Not when the most important thing was here allowing him to hug her to death. His old life would not come back. He wouldn't, couldn't allow it. He would do almost anything to keep his life with Jess.
"Sam?"
The breathlessness of Jess' voice jolted him slightly and he commanded himself to calm down. What did that stupid woman know anyway?
"Sorry," Sam said as he released her enough for her to turn and look up at him. "Sorry," he whispered contritely.
Jess shook her head as she reached up and cupped his cheek. "You're so pale."
The concern in her voice made his throat thick with emotion and he struggled to swallow against it. He nodded. "Could we just go?"
"Sure," she said and gave him a small smile.
"What?" he asked as she took his hand and they started walking towards the first visible mall door to the outside.
"Nothing. It's just things don't seem to rattle you like this," she said and leaned into him as Sam pulled his hand away and wrapped his arm around her. "You're shaking."
Sam grimaced and out of long-standing habit scanned the crowd. Then mentally kicked himself. A trait borne of watching and idolizing and copying everything his big brother did. He sighed, feeling very upset with himself. "Just something she said," he replied shaking his head.
"Ok," Jess prompted when he stopped speaking. "What was it?"
Sam shook his head.
They walked in tense silence for a while before Jess moved out from under his arm and moved to stand in front of him.
Sam frowned down at her. "What?"
Jess did nothing more than raise an eyebrow at him not willing to wait any longer for an explanation.
It was a move so close to something Dean would it made him homesick for the umpteenth time that day. He closed his eyes and shook his head, quickly thinking up a lie. "She said I was going to lose everything I held dear," he whispered and opened his eyes in surprise. He hadn't ever intended to tell her that.
"Sam, come on. It isn't real. People can't tell you your future by dealing out a few pieces of paper with pictures on it," Jess scoffed. "Now seriously. What happened."
"Just what I said, Jess. You have no idea..." Sam could hear the anger in his voice, saw Jess flinch at the sudden change in behaviour, clenched his jaw shut, shook his head and walked away. "See you at home," he threw over his shoulder. He had a wicked temper and it was teetering on the brink of exploding. He wasn't happy with himself, he was still shaking from the adrenalin of his panic and he was afraid that if he kept talking he was going to tell her something of his past life. Something that could never happen.
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It was almost two hours later he quietly came back into the apartment. It was quiet. The lights were off. It felt like a tomb.
He sighed wearily, toed off his shoes and sank down on the couch. It had taken a while to walk off his anger, frustration and fear. After that had been dealt with and brushed aside he'd had to deal with guilt. A bit more time in a park with a cup of coffee and his dark thoughts had given him the time he'd needed to either deal or shove it away.
Sam knew he had baggage. There was no way he should be pushing any of that onto his girl. It was wrong and nowhere near fair to Jess.
He leaned forward and cradled his head in his hands. Sam knew he was wallowing a little but it made him feel a bit worse that Jess hadn't been there waiting for him. He knew she shouldn't be, didn't have to be, but he'd hoped she was going to be here.
Sighing heavily he made himself stand up when his stomach growled loudly. He wandered into the kitchen. He reached for the fridge handle and spotted the note on it.
Don't even think about making a snack. If I'm not back before you get there I'm getting dinner. Love you and stop moping. Jess.
And just like that the tension making it hard to breathe and move was suddenly gone. Forgiveness given just like that amazed him. He reached out to touch the note, his mouth slowly curving into a smile when he heard a key in the door.
Sam quickly moved to the entry way and was waiting when Jess stepped into the apartment and closed the door.
"Hey," he said quietly.
"Hey," Jess answered with a bit of steel in her voice.
Sam frowned as the tension returning full force. "Would it help to say I'm sorry and the world's biggest idiot?"
He could see her struggle not to smile.
"Might," she said softly. "Also might help if you take these bags."
"Right," Sam said rushing forward taking the greasy bags out of her hands. He didn`t step back though, but leaned in for a gentle kiss on her lips. "I am. You know. Sorry."
Jess sighed. "You're an idiot. And someday you'll realize you can tell me and trust me with anything."
Sam glanced down and nodded before he turned and took the food into the kitchen. He could hear his girl follow behind him.
"I also know that today, next month or even next year isn't gonna be the right time. But I hope someday you will trust me with all that stuff you keep hidden. Because I love you, you stupid oaf."
Sam closed his eyes as she wrapped her arms around him and rested the side of her head against his back.
"And more than that, I'm never letting go of you," Jess said. "Learn to deal with it."
Sam couldn't help the laugh that came out of him then. He turned and stared down into her eyes. "I... I don't deserve..."
"Yeah, right. Next you're gonna tell me vampires and goblins are real," She said with a slight smirk.
"What is it with you and vampires today?" he asked grinning down at her.
"Uh... well... last night when you were studying at the library I watched a movie with Ann."
Sam nodded. "Goth girl Ann?"
Jess tisked. "Don't call her that. She's a very nice girl."
"Well that might explain the dreams last night."
Jess blushed. "Yeah, ok. Maybe."
Sam laughed and kissed her forehead. "Let`s eat before this gets cold."
"I mean it, Sam," she said as she nodded but didn`t let go. She looked up seriously at him. "Whatever it is I hope you will trust me with it someday. It hurts you, and it hurts me to see you in pain."
"Jess... I..."
"I know now isn't going to be the time. But someday. Promise me someday you'll trust me with your burden."
"Someday," Sam said.
Jess smiled up at him before reaching up and kissing him.
The End
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