THE ADVENTURES OF GAR-MAN!

[Author's note: The adventures of GAR-man will be a long series where GAR-man rapes everything with his Elfen Lied arms and 20 dicks. It is not for children but does have lots of dicks for fun. YAY FUN DICKS.]

THE ADVENTURES OF GAR-MAN 1: K-On!

One day in southern Kentucky, Garrett Garrison was sitting at his computer watching NEEDLESS on one screen and Gurren Lagann on the other. He gazed into Kamina's dead eyes and thought to himself,

"I want to be like Kamina, I want to be GAR as fuck."

Little did Garrett know, he would be "GAR as fuck". Garrett was tired of being pushed around by his parents and the kids at school. So he went to walmart, were he saw a girl he went to school with, he thought to himself, "I wish I could man up, a real man would rape that bitch!". But he wasn't a real man,

yet...

He didn't know if he had foreshadowed enough yet, so he went to sit on the hood of his car in the walmart parking lot. He sat there for like an hour. He was sad. And then after all this, some bullies showed up and kicked him in the face, they said, "You pussy! Why are you such a pussy! Why can't you wear popped collars like us!". They spat on him.

Garrett Garrison was tired of this shit. And then out of nowhere a gun fell from the sky and it looked really cool. Garrett was kind of a bitch, so he decided to shoot himself in the head with it like this was Shin Megami Tensei or something. So he shot himself in the head with the gun.

AND LIKE BLAM!!!!

He was in Dragonball Z land and in the place where they train for like 39949 years in 5 minutes. He said, "I think this gun can make me go into television shows, and other types of fiction that have a strong following on the internet." Garrett started training, and he trained for like 9 years. He was the strongest man ever. He walked out of hyperbole chamber and grabbed mister popo by the dick and said, "YOU MAKE ME A FUCKING UNIFORM THAT SAYS FUCKING GAR-MAN ON IT, YOU PIECE OF SHIT". GAR-MAN was now GAR-MAN. When mister popo was done with the uniform, GAR-MAN put it on.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!"

He grabbed mister popo by his neck, and proceeded to rip mister popo's lips off with his bare hands. He then took off mister popo's shows and beat him to death with them. Mister Popo was on his deathbed, and he asked GAR-man why he did this. GAR-man said,

"Because you took to long with my uniform."

Then Goku, Vegeta, and the rest showed up. He punched a hole in Krillin's chest and ripped out his spine. He then beat android 18 to death with her husband's spine. He then pulled out his dick and started fucking her robot pussy. He noticed it was cold. He didn't give a fuck. GAR-man doesn't have time to think. He also doesn't have time to have sexual endurance, so he pulled his dick out. Jammed it into her ass, and filled her with cum. She was basically like a twinkie. Goku and Vegeta where finally done doing some gay powering up fusion bullshit. They were like super saiyan 8, and fused together. They said, "I'M STRONGER THAN YOUR BITCH ASS. I'M THE FUCKING STRONGEST PERSON ON THIS UNIV-..."

They couldn't finish talking because GAR-man had ran behind them and ripped one of their legs off. He smashed their skull in with the leg, until there was nothing left but blood and pieces of bone. Then, GAR-man stole the dragon balls. GAR-man summoned the dragon, and said to him, "If you don't give me as many wishes as I want, i'm going to destroy everything with my hands, I'll even kill you dragon!"

The dragon was scared, he said, "I'll give you 3 wishes, that is all I can do." GAR-man was pissed but decided to go with it. "FIRST, I want 30 invisible arms growing out of my back like on Elfen Lied." And it was done. "Second, I want 20 dicks, and they stretch like rubber like one piece." It was done. "Third, I want you to fucking die, so no one will ever be as strong as me again." The dragon was about to kill himself, but before he could GAR-man grabbed the dragon balls with his invisible arms,and held him down with the other arms. GAR-man beat Shen-Long to death.

He was done here, so he grabbed his stuff. He wondered where the gun would take him now, so he grabbed it, and pulled a Kurt Cobain.

He woke up in a hallway in Japan.

[Authors Note: It doesn't matter that GAR-man can't speak Japanese because he was actually going to 4kids dubs of these shows.]