Title: Lessons learned... or just paid for?
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Unfortunately they are still not ours. I hope CBS and whoever owns the rights to Five-0 doesn't mind too much that we borrowed them for a short while.
Summary: It's time for Grace and Danno to learn a valuable lesson. And in the end even Steve learns something.
A/N: (Sam) The first part came as a joke out of nowhere, but then I asked Cokie to add, and soon this one-shot was born. YES, it's a one shot. No more chapters will be added to this. You hear that, Cokie? Not even one. LOL
I think it's kind of funny that our first story under our new name whump-2-go doesn't have any whump at all. :-)
(Cokie) I was getting itchy fingers because I didn't have anything planned to write so Sam said... finish this!
So I gave it a shot. And as hard as it is to believe, Sam and I actually wrote a non-whumper. Yes, friends, miracles still happen. Now... if this had a chapter 2, I would guess that Steve would possibly get a papercut or something, but that won't happen.
This story is to prove that we can write something short with no whump. Like I said... a miracle. Hope you enjoy.
Lesson's learned... or just paid for
"What the hell is this, Steven?"
Steve looked up from his task on his computer when his partner stormed into his office.
"It's a bill, Danny," Steve said and leaned back in his chair.
"I can see that, Genius," Danny called out exasperated and in a voice no one would call low. "Is this a joke?"
"I don't think so. Looked pretty legit to me," Steve added with a smile, which obviously fueled his partner's anger even more.
"You knew about this?" Danny asked and glared at his friend.
"It landed on my desk this morning, so I thought I would give it to the person responsible," Steve explained.
"What the hell, Steven!" Danny again called out in anger. "I'm not going to pay for this. I'm not."
"Uhm, I don't think you have a choice really, Danny," Steve said with a grin he couldn't keep in any longer. "You wouldn't want the tax-payers to pay for it, do you?"
"This," Danny waved the bill around, "this is insane. Seven hundred dollars?!" Danny cried out.
"I don't know about the prices they charge, but it seems reasonable. I mean look at the hours they spent on it."
"You've got to be kidding me! You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
Steve couldn't hold it in any longer, he let out the laughter that he had contained since he had found the bill on his desk this morning.
"Laugh it up, McGarrett, but I'm telling you, this is not right," Danny said and again waved the bill in Steve's face.
"Well," Steve said between hick-ups of laughter, "you can always try to press charges against the hardened criminal who caused the bill in the first place."
Danny's death-glare would have felled lesser men, but only made Steve laugh even more. Which in return evoked a small smile on Danny's face. "You think Stan would pay for it?" Danny now also asked with soft laughter in his voice.
"I highly doubt that," Steve said. "But you could cut Gracie's allowance."
"Yeah right," Danny mumbled.
"What was her punishment for her gate-way crime anyway?" Steve asked and took the bill out of Danny's hand. He had called the crime lab earlier and had talked the woman in accounting out of charging Danny for the time they had spent running tests on the stupid toilet paper.
"Come again?" Steve asked after Danny had grumbled something so low that Steve didn't get it.
"I said, I didn't punish her."
"Oh. Why not?" Steve was now curious why his 'niece' had gotten away scot-free.
"Well," Danny paused and thought what to tell his friend. "She only did it to our house because it would be mean to do it to other people."
"That makes sense," Steve said with a smile on his face. "And was very thoughtful of her."
"You still think this is funny, don't you?"
"Ah, come on, Danny. Sure it is fun. Look at it this way, she invested a lot of time in it. It's not easy to TP a tree."
"You speak from experience, Steven?" Danny confronted his friend.
"I can neither confirm nor deny that."
"Right."
"You know, Danny, I think Grace should learn that her actions did have consequences."
"What do you mean?"
It was now Steve who waved the bill around. "I'm talking about the hours the crime lab spent on her 'crime'. I called one of the guys at the lab, and after telling me that their trainees used your 'case' as a training run, I called accounting and talked her out of billing you."
"So, I don't have to pay for it?" Danny asked hopefully.
"No, you don't. Even though you did totally overreact and the lab-boys had a good laugh at your expense," Steve couldn't keep himself from telling his friend.
"Funny," Danny grumbled. "So, you think Grace should know about this bill?"
Steve shrugged. "Why not? It might be a good learning experience to see how one's actions affect others. I bet if she sees this bill, she will think twice about ever pulling a stunt like that again." He then held up his hand, adding, "Not that I think TP'ing a tree is going to make her a felon for life. But sometimes we need to understand that there are consequences to our actions." He could still remember how his actions back when he was 12... well that was a story for another time.
Danny nodded, thinking about what Steve had said. "But isn't it too late to punish her now?"
"Well, you just got the bill, which you didn't have before now. It might be the perfect time."
"What do you think her punishment should be?" Danny asked.
Steve shook his head; he hadn't expected Danny asking his advice concerning Grace. "I don't know. But maybe you can have her figure out how the bill should be paid."
"But you said I don't owe anything."
"Gracie doesn't know that," Steve said with a smug grin.
Danny mulled over their conversation. "You know, I think she does need to know consequences," he agreed. "How are we going to do this?"
"We? I'm not—" Steve suddenly back-paddled.
"Oh, but Steven, you are. Since we established a long time ago that you were the 'bad cop', we will use that to our advantage." He held his hand over his heart. "Of course, *I* am the good cop and doting father who doesn't see this coming…"
Steve adamantly shook his head. "No way. I am not taking the blame for you going off half-cocked and calling in favors from our lab techs to try and fingerprint some toilet paper. Un unh, not gonna happen." Steve was not gonna budge from that point, no way in hell.
"OK, will you at least work with me? I mean, after all, the invoice did come across your desk. Come on, be a pal. Help me out here. I'll spring for pizza tonight," Danny tried to bribe his friend.
Steve stared at his partner, thinking through the proposition. Technically, this might be a learning experience for both Danny and Grace. With a nod, he agreed.
"Ham and pineapple."
"Steve, that's not—"
"That's my offer. And it's the least you can do for pulling me into this."
H50 - H50 - H50
Danny, Grace and the pizza arrived around seven that evening and found Steve out on the lanai. He went inside and grabbed beer and a juice for Grace before returning to the table, noting that he did indeed have a ham and pineapple pizza along with Danny's standard cheese and mozz.
"No one fainted when you ordered pineapple, did they?"
"Funny, Steven."
"He made me order," Grace told him. "Because Danno said he can't use the words 'pineapple' and 'pizza' in the same sentence."
"Grace, must you tell everything you know?" her father asked.
She grinned at him. "Not everything… just the stuff Uncle Steve would appreciate. Hey, where's Catherine tonight?"
"She is having dinner with a friend," Steve told her, not mentioning the fact that Cath immediately reached for her phone to make plans once she learned what they were up to this evening. She was out the door in nothing flat, making sure she left before Grace got there. While she understood why they were doing this, she didn't want to see Grace unhappy.
Neither did Steve, for that matter. He waited until the pizza was gone and he had drunk two beers. He would have loved a third, but felt he needed to be the responsible one tonight.
Steve stood and pulled the folded invoice out of the pocket of his cargos. Sitting back down, he began, "Hey, Gracie, we need to talk to you about something."
"What?" she asked, folding her hands on the table.
"I got this invoice from Accounting today," he said, unfolding it and pushing it across the table to her. "It's a bill for $700."
"What for?" she asked, looking first at her dad, then to Steve.
"Remember Halloween and the tree you toilet papered?" Steve reminded her.
She looked at the bill with a frown on her face. "Yes," she finally said in a quiet voice.
"Grace, I tried to figure out who did that to our tree and I involved the crime lab techs," Danny explained. He poked the invoice with his finger. "That is their bill. For $700."
"Oh."
Steve continued. "You know, at the time you knew Danno was pretty upset. Maybe you should have just confessed, right?"
Grace stared at the bill, not looking at either adult. "I guess so," she mumbled.
"It's kind of like you lied about it," Danny added. "I mean you didn't say anything at all."
She immediately looked at him, shock registering on her face. "I didn't—I mean, no, I didn't lie," she told him. "I said I was sorry," she said quietly.
"I know you are," Danny agreed, and then grinned. "I know you also remember what you did every time you have to use that toilet paper in the bathroom."
Grace rolled her eyes and glanced at Steve. "He won't buy any more toilet paper until this is all gone," she explained.
Steve laughed. "Good grief, just how much did you use?" he asked.
"Sort of all of it," she admitted. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause trouble. I just wanted…"
She trailed off and Steve prodded her. "What did you want?"
Grace took a deep breath. "I wanted to be cool and when everyone said I needed to do this, I couldn't say no."
"Ah," Danny nodded. "And what have you learned?"
"That you can be cool and have friends and not be mean or do things you shouldn't."
"That's good to remember," Steve told her. "But…" he picked up the invoice and waved it. "What do we do with this?"
She hung her head again. "We pay it? Right? I'm sorry Uncle Steve that you got the bill. Danno, if you have to pay it, you don't ever have to give me allowance ever again, OK?"
"That's one way of dealing with it," Danny agreed, watching her face fall.
"Or…" Steve began, and then tore the invoice in half.
"Uncle Steve! You can't do that!" she exclaimed.
"What if I make it go away?" he began. "If I do, can you think of something you can do to show that you appreciate all the work that the lab guys did? I mean, these guys worked and used the equipment in the lab, and none of that is cheap. Is there any way you can pay them back for what they did?"
Grace mulled over that idea, then brightened up. "I've got some allowance saved. How about if I write them a letter and take them all a shave ice and say I'm sorry?"
Steve met Danny's eyes and shrugged. "That's not a bad idea. What do you think, Danno?"
"I think that would work. I'm sure Charlie and the boys would enjoy shave ice. Why don't you work on a letter and we can go after school on Friday."
"I'll do that. And thank you Uncle Steve for tearing up the bill."
"Not a problem," he told her, and then added, "but… if anything like this ever happens again, all favors are off. Understand?"
She quickly nodded her head. "Right. And I won't. I mean, I really learned my lesson."
"Good," Steve said. "Now, Danno, what did you learn from this experience?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"Huh? Me?"
"Yes, you. Take anything away from this?"
"Really, Steven? If you want me to say it—"
"I do."
"—I won't use the crime lab for personal business, and cover it as official business."
"Thank you. That's what I wanted to hear." After a beat, he added, "And I do want a pineapple-mango shave ice on Friday."
"You? No way, you got your ick pineapple pizza. You're not getting a shave ice."
"Hmm… wonder if I have any scotch tape for this invoice?"
Danny sighed. And glared. And then fumed, before finally relenting. "OK, one shave ice. Grace, do you see what *I* have to put up with every day?"
Grace grinned and got out of her chair and hugged Steve. "I will give you all the shave ice you want."
He planted a kiss on her cheek and grinned. "See, Danno. Somebody loves me."
H50 - H50 - H50