Black Widow
Schwarze Witwe
Without haste he closed the door and walked towards me slowly, where I, unable to wait, was already lying topless on the bed. He grabbed his black silk scarf and pulled it off his neck before sitting down across my lap gracefully. I was trembling with anticipation as my hands reached for his top to unbutton his black vest, the only cloth covering his white skin. I wanted to touch that skin, these slender hips and his flawless chest, but my hands were stopped and pulled over my head with a firm grip. There he tied them to the headbars of the bed with his scarf. Wordless. As he had been the entire evening.
Staring at the button of his tight, black leather pants right above my face, I was awaiting the inevitable. If I would'nt let him do as he pleased he would stand up and leave. He had done that once already. He didn't want to be touched. Not by me. Not by anyone anymore. The one he desired was dead. And now he tried to drown his sorrow in sex.
Unbearably slowly, his blackclad body drew back right before my eyes until I met his gaze.
„I don't love you.", he told me with his empty voice, empty eyes. A pain shot trough me, right into my heart.
Böses Mädchen (bad girl)
hab kein Mitleid mit mir (don't pity me)
Gib mir die Peitsche (whip me)
und ich danke es dir — (and I'll thank you)
heut Nacht (tonight)
~+~
„I know", I answered with a pained smile. It was always like this. He told me he didn't love me before we did it. He loved someone else and he let me know that all too often. Let me know and feel it.
He placed himself on top of my hips again, threw back his soft blond hair and began to unbutton his vest himself. From time to time he would carress his now visible skin that I was longing to touch so much. He teased his pinkish nipples by playfully brushing against them with his fingertips and let his hips circle on my loins. A small gasp escaped from my lips. As if he had waited for that to happen he got up and opened the button of his pants. This time, he positioned himself so I could open his zipper with my teeth. I didn't try more, I learned from my mistakes.
Schwarze Göttin (Black goddess)
lass mich dein Opfertier sein (let me be your sacrificial lamb)
Mach was du willst mit mir (Do what you want with me)
Ich werd dir alles verzeihen — (I'll forgive you anything)
heut Nacht (tonight)
~+~
He drew back again but stopped when his face was above mine. He kissed me. Finally! It was a rough kiss, only lust and coldness in it. But I longed for it every night he got me to follow him with those empty eyes. For this one kiss. The only one he'd grant me tonight. Only once he let me taste those soft lips that were too warm for their owners frozen heart. A shudder ran down my spine as those lips touched my breastbone and his tongue broke through his lips to draw a wet line to my throat. His breath made me tremble as it blew over my wet skin and sent cold shivers of pleasure trough my body until his lips reached my breastbone again and continued towards lower regions.
He caressed over my strained abs, let his fingers slide down my sides slowly and provokingly. It was cold around me when he slowly undressed me, but my insides were on fire. I longed for him so much. Now those hollow brown eyes lost their fire and simply accused the world for taking his beloved, but they had already captured me long before.
I wanted to touch him, jerked my armes forwards and tried to rip my bonds, but the material didn't move an inch. I didn't have the slightest chance to free myself, couldn't touch him or blur the slight film of sweat on his soft skin, that would soon be there. He made me go crazy.
I wanted to touch him. Wanted to give him lust and warmth, but everything he allowed me was one kiss. This one damned kiss that gave me enough and way less than I desired as I looked at the image he presented to me.
Küss mich schwarze Witwe (Kiss me black widow)
Hab kein Mitleid mit mir heut Nacht (don't pity me tonight)
Friss mich schwarze Witwe (eat me black widow)
Komm spür mich (come feel me)
Ich will dich berühren (I want to touch you)
~+~
His hand found its way up my leg slowly while his lips wandered over my chest muscles, found their way over my nipples and sent shivers of lust coursing trough my body. His hand had just passed my knees and held onto my thighs as he pushed himself up and threw his head back in an unstudied graceful motion to get his hair out of his face.
The clouded eyes stared at me expressionless, the seductive lips opened slightly and a single word escaped them.
„Seto."
Everything inside me stiffened. He didn't see me anymore, only saw the one he wanted to see. As he did everytime. And everytime again I let him take a little bit of my self and destroy it forever.
Why did I fall in love with someone whose heart would never belong to me? I couldn't follow this line of thought any further because he bent down and finally touched me where I eagerly awaited to be touched. Hotly his lips burned on my loins, soft flesh on hard flesh, a teasing tongue which broke through and explored a little to vanish again. It made my currently labored breath and gasps turn into moans.
Slim fingers on my sides didn't leave me any time to catch my breath, not a single second of rest, forced up my lust and longing and let me pull on my bonds so the silk cut into my wrists painfully. Again and again, faster everytime, his name escaped from my lips as if I could reach him, touch his heart, if I only called often enough. But he didn't seem impressed in any way, didn't even stop until I rocked my hips forwards with a low cry and sank back onto the matress panting.
„Joey...", I whispered, but he simply lifted himself up again, licked the visible remains of my orgasm off his lips and brushed his blond hair out of his face with his left hand. Meanwhile, his right began to wander again.
~+~
Schwarze Witwe (Black widow)
reiß mir das Herz aus der Brust (rip my heart from my chest)
Beug dich in meinen Schoß (bend into my lap)
Lass mich krepieren vor Lust — (let me croak in extasy)
heut Nacht (tonight)
~+~
With empty eyes he watched me while his fingers danced over my stomach and send electric signals to my brain that didn't give me time to rest. How could a man be so damn lascivious?
Pictures of past days flashed before me as I looked into his hollow eyes. Pictures of times when those eyes still shone with happiness that he felt and enjoyed wholeheartedly. Times at someone elses side. Where he still could laugh freely. Where I lost my heart to him.
Back then, I still hoped to someday call him mine, but with his dearest he also lost his innocent smile. Even so, I enjoyed these nights between lust and pain, between life and death. Lust in my limbs, pain in my heart. Life in his actions, death in his eyes.
But even these eyes held me captive. In their own way. They woke my protective instincts.
Therefore I devoted myself to him even though he destroyed me. I did it because I knew he would find someone else if he didn't have me. And I didn't want to lose him a second time. Not him as well.
These eyes again. Way to close. And still not close enough.
„Untie me!", I demanded, but I only got the answer I expected. A monotone „No" while he elegantly – as if he wasn't from this world – slid up along my body.
„Kiss me!" I pleaded as he sat down on my hips and slowly lowered his ass onto me. A moan escaped me as he tightly enveloped my shaft.
„No."
A light groan followed the word but still it didn't sound the slightest bit alive. It sounded cold and untouchable as it left his lips. A hand lay on my stomach, shifted on my skin as he started moving and let my gasps turn into moans again. He eliminated even the last thought from my head. And as ever, my last thought before I would let myself fall was directed at the man who, through his death, took Joeys heart with him. Accussed him for letting the man who would never be mine suffer.
~+~
Keine Rettung (no rescue)
Ich trag dein Gift schon in mir (I already carry your poison in me)
All meine Lebenskraft (all my vitality)
versinkt im Abgrund der Gier — (sinks into the abyss of greed)
heut Nacht (tonight)
~+~