Disclaimer: Don't own anyone.
A/N: Simple dialogue to clear up misconceptions about Carmilla, that's all.
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"I have a few questions for you Milla. I hope you do not take offense to them."
"Of course not Severus, shoot."
"Were you born in 1561?"
"You know better than that you stubborn bat. I'm a few millennia old. That's a bunch of rubbish."
"Alright then, obviously you did not die in 1757."
"You're perceptiveness amazes me."
"Did you bathe in the blood of young women?"
"What?"
"Must I repeat the question?"
"Where in the world did you get that idea?"
"The back of a Chocolate Frog Card."
"Damn Flipkin. I told him not to make me too horrible."
"Who's Flipkin?"
"The man who invented the cards; I paid him to kill me off so no one would come after me. Didn't realize he'd make me sound like such a beast though."
"So you've never bathed in young girls' blood."
"Once or twice."
"What?"
"It was the Dark Ages! Leeching was popular too."
"But it was blood!"
"The lady said it was good for the pores. Besides, they were already dead anyways. Not as if they'd miss it. And I wasn't exactly the most caring person at the time."
"I will dismiss that entire section of this conversation."
"If it allows you to sleep better at night, then so be it."
"My final question; Have you ever had a…relationship with a girl by the name of Laura?"
"Laura…Laura…Laura…you mean that girl from the novel? Of course not!"
"And why should I believe you?"
"I just kissed you approximately a dozen times."
"That's proof enough?"
"Do you wish me to continue snogging you?"
"Oh, to Hell with the questions. Let the snogging continue."
End