When I first met Yolei it was because she was a digidestined that was attending my old junior high school. She certainly knew who I was, after all I was the computer club president prior. She was a sweet young girl and we got along famously.
She even helped me mix and master the Teenage Wolves music. We spent a great deal of time together, but most of it was in silence partnered with the clicks of a computer mouse and frantic typing.
Of course, we did talk. I would share my theories with her and she would listen in earnest and occasionally she would critique them and point out other possibilities that I didn't calculate for.
And of course we discussed the digital world, even after her tour as a digidestined came to an end.
During her time as a digidestined, however, she would consult me when she needed help solving a problem. I always really enjoyed that. I missed the digital world, and was happy to help in whatever way I could. And there's never any harm done in helping out a friend.
When she was entering university, I was going into my third year. She, of course like myself, was studying computing and programming. We had programmed systems together before, so for the both of us, it was an easy degree. I was planning to do more with mine and pursue further schooling.
She never talked about that, however, as she would join me in the computer lab, doe-eyed and acting like a child. She would go on talking about how excited she was that there were so many "cute guys" at our school.
I knew she was a little boy crazy, but she didn't usually bring up such things with me, and for whatever reason, the fact that she decided to start in university bothered me.
I took computing and programming very seriously and I always thought that she did, too, but when she said things like that, I second guessed my original assumption.
When I was in my final year, and she was in her second, we had the chance to go back to the digital world and see our friends the digimon once again.
It was a very exciting endeavour. I hadn't seen Tentomon in far too long, but at the time I was upset with Yolei, frustrated with her boy-crazy ways. Apparently Tentomon is as perceptive as my mother and he noticed straight away.
Us older digidestined were all sitting together and the younger ones were sitting further away with they're old partners.
Then, Tentomon said, "Izzy, why are you so upset with Yolei?" I didn't really want to talk about it, but then everyone started up. I never enjoyed being the centre of attention because it usually means I was being teased.
"Maybe it's because he finally realized that he has feelings for her, Tentomon," Tai blurted out excitedly.
I was bewildered. There was no way. I couldn't comprehend why they would think that way.
"It's okay, Izzy. You don't need to be upset about it," continued Sora. "Are you going to tell her? I think it'd go well for you." She smiled sweetly as she does, then snuggled closer to Matt.
"I didn't know you liked Yolei, Izzy." Joe added.
"Mhmm, I've seen it for a while now," Mimi added. "But I wasn't sure if it was just my imagination or not. But I think you're both really compatible!"
I grumbled. All of their comments were unappreciated. Fortunately it didn't last too long. Matt chimed in. "Leave him alone, guys. He's in a tough position. It's hard to tell a girl that you like her. So just give him some space!"
They all nodded and began discussing other matters, catching up with their digimon and with each other. I found it difficult to enjoy my time in the digital world after that. I was elated to see Tentomon and everyone else, however, as he talked to me, my eyes would drift to Yolei. Could it be possible? Could I really have feelings for her? How come everyone else could see it and I couldn't?
It's something I decided to reflect upon later.
And so I did. Hypothetically, if I did have feelings for Yolei, it could explain my frustration when she talked about boys, although her not being focussed would be the other possible reason.
To run a test, what would be my control? And what would be my variables? To know what they should be, I would first have to understand the concept of love and recognize the feelings involved, but that is not my strong suit, so I decided that the variables would be the various distances between us when we were in the computer lab together.
On a normal day, I'd call this the "control", I would sit at the computer across from her.
Other days I would sit on the other side of the lab, or at the computer right next to hers.
I would test each of these locations for one week spans to gather more detailed results.
Whether or not this would give me conclusive evidence or not was unknown, but I was really just trying to take a stab in the dark.
The first week, I ran my "control" and felt quite comfortable sitting in my normal place. I found myself looking up at Yolei slightly more often than normal, but she didn't seem to notice. When I looked at her, I saw my friend, fellow student and intellectual equal. I saw a brave digidestined who inherited the crest of sincerity and the crest of love. It always puzzled me as to why she didn't receive the crest of knowledge like I did.
I jotted down my notes, hoping that they would become valuable data.
The second week I sat relatively far from her. When she asked why, I told her I had a cold and didn't want to get her sick like me. Whether or not she believed me was another story.
In being so far from her, facing away, I felt noticed a lonely feeling. I noted a desire to be closer to her.
I was relieved when the third week finally came around. But I found that sitting next to her was strange. When there was a breeze, I could smell her hair, and I was drawn in by her pheromones. I wanted to hold her hand and sit outside with her, and work on more projects with her.
I felt reminiscent of when we first met and she was so enthralled by my genius. Kari and TK would tell me occasionally of how often and how highly she spoke of me, teasing me, telling me that she probably had a crush on me.
I found myself wondering if that could have been possible. And if she did in fact, have a crush on me when she was younger, could those feelings have lingered and stuck around all the while?
This of course, was assuming that she did in fact, like me when we were younger.
These notes, of course, were jarring when I compared the data. Based on it all, I concluded that in all likelihood, I did have feelings for Yolei. And it wasn't just data. That week that I sat next to her, I felt something unfamiliar. I would have to discuss it with Matt and discover what he thinks it could be.
"You ran a test to see if you like her?" Matt asked, laughing. "Oh man, Izzy. You're nuts. You don't run tests to see if you like someone. You just know it." Matt is one of the most emotional guys that I know, and a trusted friend so I respected and appreciated his input, but I didn't understand. Evidently he could see that on my face. "Look," he continued. "I'm reading your notes here, and I don't quite get it, but it says here that you felt something." He watched my blank face. "That's all you need, man." He pointed to his chest. "You feel it here, and you go from there."
"Prodigious," I whispered. Piping up, I said, "so what do I do about it?"
Matt chuckled a bit. "Well now you've got to decide if you want to be with her or not."
"But I am with her all the time," I interjected.
"By 'be with her', I mean be her boyfriend, Izzy," I was about to ask what that entailed, but he continued on. "Don't worry about it, it's something you figure out as you go." he smiled at me. "Look, all I know is that Sora and I wouldn't be together now if I hadn't said anything, and being with her is one of the best things I've ever had. Having been a digidestined would be the only other 'best thing' in my life."
So now that I'm 22, I've known her for 7 years. It's only taken me 7 years to realize that I'm interested in her romantically, and now Matt's telling me that the next step is up to me?
I would need to be an ultimate digimon to have the strength to tell her. I would have to reflect on this some more, and maybe run another study.
But after a few months of thoughts, data analysis and frustration with her talking about other boys, I decided that I should tell her. I wasn't sure as to how, until one evening I thought up a prodigious idea.
About a month later I approached her with a code that I had created, claiming that I couldn't quite figure it out and that I would appreciate her help. I had spent a good couple of weeks making it complicated enough that my statement wouldn't be an obvious lie.
We took the better part of a hour working on solving it. Well, actually, she did. I would just chime in the occasional "maybe this will work," and "oh, looks like we're getting closer."
Finally she got it, and it opened a small message that read:
Yolei, I really like you, would you like to go out with me? Izzy
I was feeling unbelievably exposed and vulnerable at that point. It was a rather new sensation for me. How could I possibly plan for her reaction?
She turned to me and said "Is this a joke?" She looked convincingly angry. "Are you making fun of me?"
This shocked me. "Why would it be a joke?" I asked.
"Because I've liked you for years." She blushed, although she still looked quite angry. "If this is your idea of teasing me, it's not funny and-"
"But Yolei," I interjected. "I mean it. I have feelings for you."
She stopped and stared at me in shock for a while. "Will you go out with me?" I asked. Her jaw was dropped and her cheeks were flushed. She continued to stare at me in disbelief.
"Yolei?"
"Um, yeah," she said, sounding both nervous and shocked. However, she started to come back to earth. "Yeah, I'll go out with you, Izzy." Then she smiled. "This is just perfecto! I can't believe this!"