Here's the second part of the People Series. (Okay, I just invented that.)
Off you go.
"Taste this."
"…"
"…"
"Merlin's balls. This is…"
"Merlin's balls?"
"Holy—"
"What? Is it awful?"
"Orgasmic!"
"Orgasmic? Good orgasmic or bad orgasmic?"
"Is there an orgasmic that's not good?"
"I don't know… with you, I sometimes don't know what a word means."
"I'll choose to ignore that slightly insulting comment."
"I'm sorry."
"You don't look so sorry."
"I'm not."
"Great."
"So it's good?"
"Yes. Indescribable, really. I never knew were a great cook… I mean, I never knew you could cook."
"Why do people always assume that?"
"Well, for one, you don't look like a person who hangs around the kitchen, Hermione."
"I really don't know what's wrong with that. Just because I don't look like a kitchen-person, doesn't mean I'm not!"
"Yeah, well…"
"I did well in Potions. Cooking is like concocting a potion. I just follow the steps. It's quite easy."
"But I ranked higher than you in Potions."
"Yeah, because you cheated!"
"Still…"
"Shut up."
"Let me have some more…"
"No way!"
"Yes way! I'm the food expert here!"
"Food expert? You call yourself that when you almost burned down my kitchen when you were making tea!"
"That was one time!"
"You just press the button on the automatic kettle. Then that's it!"
"It was Voldemort's minion out to get me."
"Right."
"See? This is what's confusing. People assume that I know how to cook since I lived with the Dursleys and they made me their personal slave. But really, Aunt Petunia never let me make the big dishes since she thinks I'll ruin it and put my 'not normal stuff' in it."
"Oh, Harry."
"And you! You're a prodigy! Is there something you can't do?"
"I can't touch my nose with my tongue."
"Wow. That's really something all of us can do, and only you can't."
"I appreciate the sarcasm."
"You were the one who started it!"
"Whatever."
"You suck."
"So profound."
"Wait, you do suck! You suck at chess!"
"I do not suck at chess!"
"Yeah you do!"
"We haven't even played before."
"Well, I think we haven't played it before because you know you suck at it!"
"Alright Harry, bring out that chess set of yours."
"Nah, I'd like to have this satisfaction of not letting you prove me wrong."
"You are incorrigible."
"And I can think of something else you want to suck…"
"Harry!"
"A strawberry lollipop!"
"…"
"You, Hermione Granger, have a dirty mind!"
"Well, you should meet the person I live with. If I'm dirty, you can't imagine him."
"I'd like to meet this dashing, handsome, and sexy roommate of yours"
"But I'm pretty sure he's gay."
"Aren't we over that yet?"
"We'll never be other that, honey."
"Great."
"Have some more."
"Really, Hermione. You should put up a restaurant."
"Nah, too much work."
"But this is just… see? I can't even say how delicious it is."
"Hence, indescribable."
"Whatever."
"Besides, if I put up a restaurant, people won't go in it since according to everyone, I can not cook. Its more fun seeing their dumbfounded faces personally, when I serve them my masterpieces."
"Nice."
"Especially to those people who are dear to my heart."
"That's me."
"That's you. If you could only see the look on your face when you tasted this… priceless!"
"Fine, fine. Gloat. You're already the smartest witch in our generation, and you can cook. Damn it!"
"Well, what about you?"
"I don't get it. Everyone assumes since I'm the Boy-Who-Lived…"
"Boy-Who-Triumphed, Chosen-One, Defender-Of-Mankind…"
"Are you going to say all of those ghastly titles?"
"Witch-Weekly's-Untouchables, Mr.-Best-Smile, Mr.-August-in-Play-Witch…"
"Hey! I lost that bet! It wasn't my fault!"
"Really? That issue has got to be the most sold out issue of Play Witch. I heard that they're still reprinting it. And that issue was three years ago!"
"Three and a half, but who's counting…"
"Cocky."
"Anyway, everyone assumes since I'm the Boy-Who-Lived, it's either I want to be an auror, or I'd want to slip away from the Wizarding world and come back when 'I'm ready' and shite."
"Well, you have this saving-people thing, and we all know how emotionally unstable you are…"
"So? Does that qualify?"
"Yes…?"
"No. It doesn't."
"Don't mind what people think. Just be happy that you're an A-list quidditch superstar."
"But remember the first time I tried out?"
"Yeah, so? I remember they didn't hire you as a reserve keeper because you were so excellent in the try-outs, the starting seeker thought you were a threat and demanded that they can't hire you. How does that apply with the emotionally unstable thing and the saving people thing of yours?"
"Nothing. I just wanted you to mention how good I am."
"You're so cocky for your own good, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Here, eat some more."
"…"
"…"
"How come you haven't invited Ron over for this? Hey, bring some at the McDonald's Headquarters later!
"You mean, the Burrow?"
"Of course!"
"That's really mean, Harry."
"Kidding, kidding. Anyway, you should really prove Ron wrong. I mean, we've been going at you about your cooking since… I don't know, forever!"
"This is the first time I actually let someone outside of my family taste something I made. Why, in Merlin's name, do you pick on my food you haven't even tried yet?"
"Well Ron assumed…"
"And you did too."
"Sorry… Hey! I know where you suck at!"
"And that is…?"
"Driving."
"Damn it."
"Ha! Hermione Granger sucks at something! But really, I thought you would love doing that."
"Again with the assumptions!"
"Well, you're muggle-born. And your dad never had a son, so surely he taught you something about cars. And he's quite a car enthusiast."
"Yeah, he is. His car collection is ridiculous; it's an addiction, really. And yes, anyone would love me to be with them on the road since I know how to fix those things but I never really had an interest in driving them."
"How would you get from point A to B when you hate flying and driving?"
"That's why love apparating. It's so precise. You can go at the exact same place you want to go. Flooing is another option! Just with minor setbacks."
"Like, in the muggle world maybe?"
"Whatever! Anyway, this is why I have you around. You drive me from point A to B."
"Gee, thanks Hermione."
"And you do have a gorgeous piece of metal."
"Hey, she's not a piece of metal! She has feelings and a name, Bella Marie Williams!"
"Normal people call it a BMW."
"Are we categorized as normal people?"
"Good point. We're lucky she's not a Mercedes Benz. That would take a while to name."
"But I'm sure I'd find a name fitting it. Or should I say names."
"You would enjoy that though."
"Very much, but you are veering off the subject. Why don't you like it?"
"I don't know. Driving, I can barely handle, but parking? A whole other story, that one."
"What? Parking is the best part!"
"You're such a guy."
"Yeah. Adrenaline junkie too."
"That, I could not disagree with."
"Hey, at least we have something you suck at. And I know something you want to suck…"
"…"
"…"
"Suck what Harry?"
"I… well… I thought you'd fall for that too… you'd go all red… I'd laugh… that kind of thing… yeah."
"Really?"
"Yes…?"
"You are so dead, you know that?"
"Yes."
"Better hide, Potter."
"I will. But before that, know that I love you."
"I know, honey. I love you too. Now, run while you still can."
"Sure!" Pop.
"…"
"…"
"Harry? Our bedroom is not the place to hide if I were you."
"…"
"…"
"… How did you—damn it!" Pop.
"I sure hope Ron catches him in the shed behind the Burrow's backyard before I do." Pop.
'Tis a wee bit not for kiddies, yeah?
I'm still thinking if I'll continue this. Tell me what you think. Thanks!