Victim's Eyes: A Criminal Minds Fanfiction
By: William F. (potterfanxp123)
DISCLAIMER: The established characters, settings and ideas of "Criminal Minds" are owned and licensed by CBS Television Studios, ABC Studios and the Mark Gordon Company. The plot, as far as the author knows, is of his own design. Any resemblances to persons in real life are mere coincidence, which should not be taken literally, and are mere fabrications of an overactive imagination.
DISCLAIMER 2: None of the quotes in this Fanfiction, unless otherwise stated, belongs to the author. They are assortments that seem to fit with the general mood of the individual chapter.
DISCLAIMER 3: The cover image is not mine. I'm in no way artistically inclined, so I have borrowed the image from mustbekiding on deviantArt (with permission).
RATING: This is a "Criminal Minds" Fanfiction. That means that, at the very least, there are going to be descriptions of blood and gore. Alone, that places this as a solid "M" rating. If you are too young to read this, or are easily offended, the author urges you to reconsider your choice in story.
SETTING: This will be an Alternate Universe (AU) Fanfiction set in the six months after the events of Adrian Bale. That means that Jason Gideon is still in the BAU, Elle does not yet exist to the team, and that the team will be grieving the loss of six members.
SHIPS: JJ/Reid, Aaron/Haley
A/N: The perspective of the first few chapters is from JJ's point of view. This is by design. The POV will begin changing once the team begins to take on cases.
"I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now? – John Lennon"
PROLOGUE: Mistakes I Have Made
"Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future. - Silvananda"
The case started out as any other, JJ would later reflect. It was, upon further reflection, a strange and uncontrollable set of circumstances.
Yet, in the three days since Adrian Bale had converted from mass bomber to mass murderer, her world, as well as that of her BAU family, had been torn asunder.
She couldn't pinpoint the instant that things had changed in their world. When the reality of going after the bad guys went from something, they were proud to do, to something they feared.
As far as she could tell, it all started the second she presented the case to her teammates.
She hated herself, JJ knew. She hadn't eaten since they'd returned from the plane, too distraught to give any care to her well-being. All she could think about, all she dreamt about were the rest of her teammates dying in a flash of fire, and a concussion wave that would have torn them apart in seconds.
Moreover, she'd sent them into that.
She bent over her toilet for the second time that morning, emptying the coffee she'd just swallowed into the white basin.
Recognizing that eating would be impossible, she dressed and walked out of her house, her head spinning from the sudden lack of energy that passed over her. She knew she looked a mess, her hair was probably in tangles, her eyes were more than likely sunken with the lack of proper sleep she'd had, and her face was, if her feelings were any indication, sallow and pale.
She probably looked like a vampire, she thought on some level, instinctively raising her eyes too look at the sun, wondering if it were going to make her spontaneously combust.
She didn't know how she avoided wrecking on her way into the office this morning. She knew that her reflexes were off, and that she was in no condition to drive anywhere, so maybe coming into work this morning wasn't such a good idea.
She clocked in two minutes late, her feet staggering as she approached the doors that had once held such comfort. Upon arrival, she noticed Hotch in the middle of the conference room. He wasn't giving a profile, she noticed, but his expression was just as firm as anything she'd seen.
When she approached the door, she noticed that Hotch had set his gaze upon her. It softened almost immediately, she realized.
"JJ," the man said, "Come in. As I was announcing to the rest of the team," she winced as she heard his voice break, "the Director has given us the next three weeks off, in order to get our heads together. He has asked that we finish out the day, but that we are grounded until things settle down. In addition, as some of you have probably guessed, Jason has asked me to take over as Unit Chief, temporarily. I have accepted. He has requested reassignment to the academy, for the foreseeable future."
She winced again.
"So, once we leave today, you all have the next three weeks off."
A second passed, and she could see the cogs in their team leader's head turning as he struggled to get his words together.
"I know that our team has been hit with a tragedy, and I know that thoughts are running through your heads of resigning, or asking for reassignment. Take the next few weeks, and decide if the BAU is still where you want to be. I hope to see you here when our vacation is over, but I hope you know that I won't hold it against you, should you decide to as for reassignment. We've lost some good people, colleagues and friends that we can never replace."
She wiped her right eye, almost cursing the tear that was threatening to escape.
The rest of her day was filled with the usual duties. She fielded a dozen calls from various law enforcement officers, created case files for the other BAU teams, something that her job required whenever she or the team were going on vacation, since the cases needed taken care of even if she weren't there.
When it was time to clock out, she packed up her desk, wanting to take as much of her things in case she decided not to come back.
She was on her way to the elevator, when it happened. Her lack of anything edible, lack of sleep, and lack of energy caught up with her, and she passed out.
"Every man casts a shadow; not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit. This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will, it falls opposite to the sun; short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it? - Henry David Thoreau,"
End Prologue