If In The Future by Marauder
Note: If In The Future is part of the IfInThe series, which also includes If In the Beginning, If In the Past, If In the End, and the soon-to-be-written If In The Heavens. This is a slashfic. In case you don't know what that means, it means that I took two characters someone else created (J.K. Rowling, in this case), interpreted them as gay and in love, and wrote a story about it. If this bothers you, you shouldn't read it. This story is told from Remus Lupin's point of view through a series of diary entries and takes place the summer after Harry's fourth year.
Disclaimer: If you recognize a character from the Harry Potter books, they belong to J.K. Rowling. If you don't recognize them or recognize them from one of my other stories, they belong to me.
June 29
This letter arrived from Dumbledore at the beginning of the week when the moon was full.
Dear Remus,
I have instructed Sirius to go to your house and hide there for a while. I realize that I am putting you in danger without your consent, and I apologize, but as you may or may not have heard, Voldemort has risen again. Sirius will tell you the details when he arrives. I also ask that the two of you contact "the old crowd". You know whom I mean and you know why I want them. I'm terribly sorry about all of this, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore
My first reaction was of course, oh, God. Voldemort has risen again. I hadn't heard about it…probably Fudge being difficult again, is my guess. I had to sit down for a while until I was able to breathe steadily again. Then I reread Dumbledore's letter. Oh, God, I thought. Sirius is coming here?
I haven't seen him in a year. He looked like a sort of spectre or apparition the last time I saw him – pale, wan, and with a face like skin stretched over a skeleton. I couldn't believe it was him. No, I had thought, this is not the same brave and witty boy I once knew who smiled charmingly and pulled elaborate pranks. This is an imposter, a charlatan, a fraud who has stolen Sirius's name.
But then he spoke, and I recognized his voice. It was shaky and strained from disuse, but it was still the same voice that once told me it loved me. I realized that that boy was still within him – abused, frightened, and mostly hidden, but still there. But the boy no longer inhabited the body alone. Alongside him was another person, a vengeful and enraged man who had seen years of his life go by unlived and was powerless to stop it.
As much as I hate to admit it, I still love that boy. But the man is a stranger to me, one that makes me uncomfortable and nervous. Both of them are coming to live at my house for a while. With the three people that are me – the wolf, the boy, and the scarred and timid man.
What am I going to say to him? The last time we had any sort of a meaningful conversation, we were sixteen. The last time I saw him the way he used to be, we were twenty-one. How do two people in our situation make conversation? There isn't anything easeful we can talk about…every possible topic of conversation involves pain and misery. I don't want to talk to him. In the ideal world, I would kill the man, rescue the boy, and the boy in me would make love to him all night. But both of them are coming to my house, and I have to take either both or neither.
Of course, it's ridiculous to even think that Sirius still has any feelings for me. He's probably not even gay, for God's sake. People go through phases when they're teenagers. Of course he isn't gay.
Soon there will be two bodies within this cottage, but five people will have to learn to live together.