A/N: Hello everyone :) I am so so sorry that I haven't been updating lately – I recently suffered a loss and between school and everything I've been so busy and I have barely had any time to write! So I've been working on this songfic for a while, and I promised myself that after I posted this one I would get back on track with the series that I'm writing. So this fic was inspired by Someone Like You by Adele, and even though it's about a relationship ending, I adore this song so I just had to write something to go with it. But I'll warn you, this is pretty angsty, and there's no happy ending to this one. Unfortunately. I just wanted to have a little bit of variety here. So I hope you guys like this one. Also this story is written in Derek's perspective, to change things up a bit. This song was written from a woman to a man, but because of copyright and such I didn't want to alter the lyrics to fit the correct gender. But I'm sure you'll get the idea. :) Anyway, thank you so much for reading and all of your lovely reviews! They really mean a lot. Enjoy!
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I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now
It had been months, almost a year since the wedding – and yet, he still couldn't believe it. She had grown out of his silly games and moved on. And instead of being happy for her, it was killing him inside; more and more each day. Now he could finally understand the saying, 'you don't realize what you have until it's gone'.
I heard that your dreams came true;
Guess she gave you things, I didn't give to you
He just couldn't possibly imagine it – his baby girl, off with another man. He shook his head frustratingly. They had never even been together in the first place! So why was he feeling so low? Because I love her, he thought. And he knew that she loved him too, deep down. But he knew why she had chosen Lynch over him. Lynch could give her a stable relationship – something that Derek had always been too unsure about. All because he had been too immature to handle a real relationship, he had to endure this pain, this suffering.
Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back, or hide from the light
Things were so different now. Derek had tried, desperately, to hold onto what was left of their friendship. Their flirty banter was long gone. No more nicknames, nothing. Every time he would ask her out on a date as friends she would blow him off with some poor excuse. Penelope just wasn't the same anymore, and he hated it. He hated that something that was once so special could just slip away quietly, as if it had never even been there in the first place.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face; and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over...
Derek stared at the phone for what seemed like a long time. He was frustrated that she would hardly ever answer his calls. He missed her so much. He missed the cheerful sound of her voice, her smile, her laugh... he missed the Penelope that he knew. The new Penelope that had taken her place was a stranger to him. He just couldn't take it anymore.
Hesitantly, he picked up the phone and dialled her number. He waited more and more anxiously with each ring that went by.
Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up.
To his relief, the line connected. A few seconds passed.
"...Derek?"
Hearing her voice he felt a rush of mixed emotions – longing for their old friendship, sadness at hearing the shy tone of her voice, surprise that she had answered the phone... why had she decided to answer him now, and not any of the other times? There was only one logical explanation that he could think of.
"He's not home, is he." It was a question, but he worded it like a statement.
She was quiet for a moment. "No... He went out to some convention... I didn't want to go, so I told him I felt sick... He went anyway."
Derek felt a slight twinge of anger at this. What kind of a husband does that, he thought. He hated that she sounded so alone. "How are you, baby girl?"
"I'm fine... I guess... how are you?"
"Penelope, that's a lie. I can tell by the sound of your voice.
She paused. "I... I just..." she sighed. "I don't know."
"If something's gone wrong, you know you can always tell me... right?"
"Well... I just... Never mind. It's not important."
"Sweetheart, if something's bothering you, it's important to me."
At least someone thinks it's important, she thought.
"I miss you, baby girl."
"You see me at least twice a week."
"That's not what I mean."
"Then what do you mean?"
"I mean, ever since you and Lynch got married, you haven't been acting like yourself... You've never shut me out like this... is it that bizarre that I want to know what's going on inside of that head of yours? You barely ever answer my calls anymore. What happened to my favourite girl?"
"She grew up and got married. And I was never 'yours'."
Derek squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, wanting to pretend that she hadn't said that. He wished even more that it wasn't true. But it was.
"And I will regret that for the rest of my life. Penelope I have loved you since the day that we met. Maybe I didn't realize it at first, but I did. And I still do. I still love you; I always will. Why don't you see that?"
"I do see it..." she said quietly, as a tear silently rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly.
"Then what's stopping you?"
"Derek, I want you to know that I do love you. I love you so, so much. But I made a commitment. As much as I may regret that, I can't just drop everything and run. I need you to understand that. Things are gonna have to change between us." She said, no longer able to hold back the emotion from her voice.
"Why? Why do they have to change?"
"Because, Derek. I made a promise, and you need to respect that."
"But—"
"No. It's too late now. I'm sorry," she barely whispered.
"Penelope, baby girl. Listen to me. Don't do this. Please."
"It's too late," she repeated, almost silently.
"Goodbye, Derek."
And with a click, the line went dead. But the phone still remained in his hand.
Her words came and went again and again through his head, each one coming back to hit him again, each time harder and harder, as if someone was stabbing him in the back.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me, I begged; I remember, you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead;
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.
Derek felt hopeless. His only true love had gotten tired of waiting around for him and given up. He couldn't help but blame himself for it – if he had've made a move on her years ago, none of this would have happened. But no, he had been too good for that.
And now look where it had gotten him. He was alone, and was probably bound to stay that way for the rest of his life. He didn't want to date any other woman, he just wanted Penelope – and he couldn't have her.
You know how the time flies; only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised in a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days
Penelope had been his best friend for years. He had loved their relationship, and being able to talk to her about anything. He couldn't believe that she was just going to throw away their friendship, as if it was nothing. Trying to live without her, like he had been doing for the past year or so, was more difficult than he ever could have imagined.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face; and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over...
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me, I begged; I remember, you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah
Nothing compares, no worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes, they are memories made
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
At first, Derek had tried to be happy for her. She was moving on, starting something new. Something that was real – something better than just the silly banter that they shared. She had told him that she was happy, and he had believed her – at the time. But months went by, and Penelope started to act not quite like herself. He had tried to confront her about it, on numerous accounts. But she had just kept on denying it. And now she had decided to shut him out completely. Derek had simply just been concerned about her well-being. But if that meant that that was what she really wanted, then he would leave her alone. Because even though it hurt for him to do so, he just wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to do what she felt was the best choice for her, regardless of what he would think about it. No matter how much he would miss her, he didn't care. Because he loved her all that much.
"Maybe part of loving is learning to let go."
– The Wonder Years
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me, I begged; I remember, you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me, I begged; I remember, you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.
