"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

Blaine's blood ran cold. Very few things could make his husband scream like that, and he was obviously facing one of them now. He ran into the master bedroom to find his husband cowering against the pillows of their king-sized bed.

"Kurt? What happened?"

"S-s-spider…" Kurt whined, pointing by the window.

Blaine chuckled. Kurt's usual poise and posture were forgotten in his panicking, and Blaine found it adorable. As long as it was only a spider. Kurt could face homophobes and Rachel Berry's closet without a problem, but bugs? They leave him shaking.

"Kurt, I'll take care of it, ok? Relax, it'll be gone before you know it…" Blaine attempted to soothe Kurt as he gathered a cup from the kitchen and a random piece of paper.

"JUST KILL IT, BLAINE!"

Blaine tried reasoning with him. "Kurt, it's a LIFE. It breathes like we do, and it-"

"NO. It's just a TINY LITTLE SPIDER. If it wasn't so freaking EARLY I'd kill it MYSELF. The ones that are smart enough to stay hidden can live, as long as they stay away from me and my stuff."

"See, THIS is why we're married. So I can save spiders from you."

"You should be saving ME from THEM, Blaine!"

"Come on, the spiders wouldn't kill you…"

"The POISONOUS ones would…"

"Ok, fine. Poisonous ones can die, I'll agree there. But this one wasn't poisonous!"

"ALL SPIDERS THAT DARE- wait, was? Is it dead?"

"No, it's outside… I don't kill spiders."

"You should've…" Kurt sniffed and relaxed against the pillows. "Thank you."

Blaine crawled onto the bed next to Kurt, pulling his shaken husband against him, Kurt's head against his chest. "Baby it's ok, it was just-"

Kurt pulled away enough to look at Blaine angrily, "Do NOT say it was 'just a tiny spider'. I don't DO bugs. They're icky, and they have too many legs and they are tiny and-"

"HEY. What's wrong with tiny?"

"No, there's nothing wrong with tiny, it's just that bugs are the BAD kind of tiny."

"Since when is there a BAD kind of tiny?"

"Since God created bugs, or they evolved from microorganisms or WHATEVER."

"Is there a good kind of tiny?"

"Yes. Sequins."

"Where do I fit in this realm of tiny things?"

"You're the BEST kind of tiny. Because you're human and beautiful and MINE. Forever."

Blaine's half-prepared retort died on his lips as he pulled Kurt close again, tipping his head up to kiss him softly. "I've got nothing on you, love," he whispered against Kurt's lips, kissing him again.