The Great Onion Shortage
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived an ogre named Shrek. Shrek loved onions dearly; almost as much as he loved his many devoted followers. Shrek would eat onions for every meal, onion omelets, onion soup, and onion steak. But his favorite dish was onion salad sprinkled with onion fried onion bits. Shrek felt happiest when he ate onions with his friends and followers, especially when they would bring new onion recipes for him to try.
One day, on a sunny afternoon, Shrek went to check on a farm that was run by some of his most devoted followers. Shrek couldn't wait to see how bountiful this seasons harvest was. But much to his surprise, Shrek could tell something was awry the moment he arrived. He sniffed the air, letting in large puffs of oxygen into his nostrils. But something did not enter his nostrils, the sweet, tangy smell of onions. Shrek sprinted to the fields, fearing the worst and hoping for the best. He stopped dead in his tracks. Before him lay the dead, baron onion field that once was the most beautiful onion field around. Beside Shrek was a follower on his knees, crying. Shrek knelt down, wiping the tears from his soft, boyish face. "Dry those tears now, laddie; Shrek is here" said Shrek. Shrek asked what happened to the fields, but he knew the answer. "Farquaad" whimpered the follower of Shrek. Shrek stood up, with a fire in his belly and rage in his eyes. Shrek turns his head to the heavens and shouts "That sodding Farqueer, always messing with my friends!" Shrek strapped up his person with the latest in Farquaad repellent. Loaded his trusty Onion Launcher, grabbed a sack of onion grenades, and set out to save this fine land from the famish of the century.