AN: In case you didn't see my declaration on tumblr…this is a challenge to myself to see if I really can make any song into a Skyeward fanfic like I've been told so far due to the Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears…soo I picked the most random song I could find on my ipod that I didn't think could be done..but who knows..let me know what you think..
Takes place during the season, but drifts off kind of…all takes place before Hydra reveal and pretends that Grant and Garrett see a lot more of each other over the season. The scenes are separated with lines, and it doesn't necessarily mean they are consecutive, some might be and some might jump around down the time frame. But they all are in a forward motion if that makes sense…no back and forth jumping.
SOOO without further to do…Some 90's country flash backs for ya!
A Beautiful Mess by Diamond Rio
I own nothing
His head hurt.
It hurt, but not the kind of ache that requires medicine or is the result of too much tension in the muscles of his neck. No this ache came from him simply thinking too hard, about something that should have been so simple.
Going out of my mind these days
Or at least it used to be.
The stubble on his jaw pricked at his fingertips when he ran a calloused hand over his face, raising his head to look at his reflection in the mirror. His hand dropped down to grip the edges of the counter as his shoulders sagged forward, the red in his eyes testifying just how exhausted he felt.
Like I'm walkin' round in a haze
His name was Grant Douglass Ward.
An operative of Hydra, infiltrating Phil Coulson's team as a S.H.I.E.L.D. specialist to get information for his true boss—John Garrett—the only man to ever give a damn about his sorry excuse of existence
He had it all figured out:
Earn their trust. He saved both of the geek twins from dying. Check.
Distract the Cavalry. He rolled his eyes. Check.
Get close to Coulson. Father-son moment in Lola. Check.
It was so easy…until..
The variable.
She was nowhere in his plans, and if not for his strategic thinking, this whole operation could have went south pretty quick. Becoming her Supervising Officer would be an annoyance on his part sure—he'd actually have to take time out of his day to pretend he cared—but still; he was trained for these things. Besides, he calculated the positive and negatives of any option and the trainer was the most suitable to the situation.
I can't think straight,
Train her how he liked. S.H.I.E.L.D. shot to wound; Hydra, shot to kill. He could train her to be a killer without her realizing any different and maybe when everything went down, her hacking skills could be of some use to Garrett, and Ward would be responsible for having impressed his father figure. After all, she was already a Rising Tide hacker, she lived for that stuff.
What he wasn't trained for, was for her to get under his skin.
I can't concentrate.
It had happened so subtly that upon realizing his dilemma it took the breath from his lungs. It didn't even take her physical presence to wreak havoc on his thoughts, at this point, it was just the fact she existed. She was embedded in his skin now, like a tattoo, and he wasn't sure if he wanted that feeling to go away. He'd never felt something so strong and warm, and for the first time, he wanted to keep something all to himself. But would he be allowed? Would she even want to? Would Garrett—
"You okay in there Robot?"
Her voice through the door startled him and broke him out of his reverie, and he looked down at the floor where he saw her shadow under the door.
"Yeah, rook. I'll be out in a second."
The pads of her small feet were almost silent as she walked away, but his trained ears heard every movement. His gaze was still settled on the bottom of the door despite her leaving and he sighed heavily before shaking his head and pushing himself off the counter to stand up straight.
No. He was a trained Hydra spy. He had no time for weaknesses.
No matter how warm they made him feel.
And I need a shave.
Grant had barely been able to sneak away due to Skye taking the definition of 'shadowing' to the point of smothering. John had sent the message in a book he'd recently sent, and missing it wasn't an option.
The meeting place was in an old military camp that apparently Captain Rogers had the pleasure of training at. The underground lab had been vamped up and contained modern equipment, yet under S.H.I.E.L.D.'s radar. There were other agents there too that he recognized, some from the Ops Academy and others from Sci-Tech, the Hub, even some he'd seen up in DC once. He'd known Hydra was everywhere, but damn.
Grant had come to the conclusion a couple weeks ago that he wasn't loyal to Hydra per say...his loyalty laid with Garrett. He didn't really care about what the organization needed and he was almost sure that John didn't even believe them either…the drug was the main focus.
I go to work and I look tired
The specialist all but fell into a chair and slumped down in an attempt to get comfortable avoiding spilling the cup of gas station coffee he'd stopped to get on the way here. He was running on empty and he knew all too well what John would see that as.
Weakness.
The hacker was taking up more of his thoughts these days, more so than before. The training he had planned for her had all but been abandoned in favor of teaching her defensive tactics, disarming techniques and blocks. Anything that would keep her safe.
The room was full of chatter about plans, ideas, technology, and 0-8-4's, but Grant wasn't interested in all that so he sipped his coffee quietly as he waited for John's order to leave.
"What's with you son?"
The heavy hand on his shoulder made him want to flinch before he caught his mistake and looked over his shoulder with a calm demeanor. The hand shook his shoulder back and forth, but Grant knew it was more of a threat than a friendly gesture.
"I've been sitting here bragging about what a hard ass spy I've got up my sleeve, and here you are sipping coffee practically dozing off— something I should know?"
The boss man says: "Son, you're gonna get fired."
His stature straightened as Grant realized his fatigue had broken through his façade. Grant couldn't let John know about the girl, she was just a variable in his eyes and it needed to stay that way. He's seen first-hand how the man takes care of weaknesses. "Nah, just not really in to listening to people talk about plans." Scooting back away from the table, the young man stood up to face his elder, "I'm more of an action kind of guy, you know that."
Holding Garrett's stare, he waited for him to acknowledge an acceptance of the excuse, a temporary wave of relief washing over his muscles before turning into the trained spy he was again.
Garrett turned around and waved his hand, "Yeah, yeah." Ward stopped mid step when the older man turned around suddenly, face close to his own. "Just make sure you keep your head in the game, son. No mistakes."
A nod of his head, and they were on their way out of the base, piling into a S.H.I.E.L.D. SUV (the irony) and taking off towards the Hub where the Bus was waiting. Grant still had his coffee, cold and no longer warming his bones or senses, sipping it casually as to avoid conversation.
Her laugh crept into his mind as he watched the lights of the city they were diving through disappear slowly into the distance. The specialist wasn't sure what she had done to him, but it was something, and it wasn't necessarily unpleasant. Their battleship games had become a weekly 'training exercise' and he found himself contemplating on bumping it up to two times a week, just to see the way she gets excited when he lets her win.
This ain't your style,
The silence in the vehicle was interrupted when Garrett put a hand on his shoulder once more, squeezing tightly. "I don't know what's going on with you boy, but you has better get it out of your system soon— this ain't like you—I didn't train a wimp who gets tired."
"John, I've got it under control. You don't have—"
"Is it the girl?" Grant caught the alarm in his features before they made it to the surface, "Do you have a little crush lover boy? I've seen the way you look at her."
An emotion was seeping through his chest that Grant wasn't familiar with. Was it fear?
Garrett whistled, "Well I'd be lying if I said she wasn't a pretty little thing. Bet she's got a wild side." His eyebrows waggling "Have fun trying to tame that one!" He couldn't decide if the man's laugh was funny or threatening as he walked up the ramp, but Grant found himself smiling all the same as he brought the cup up to his lips.
And behind my coffee cup,
He had no idea how wild that girl really was.
I just smile.
But then again, neither did Grant.
What a beautiful mess,
Grant tried to keep his distance, he really did. The thing with Skye though, is that, when you pull, she pushes. Whenever he would close himself off, snapping at her, even avoiding her, she'd be just around the corner waiting to drag him into a game of battleship and a conversation that left a smile on his lips.
His eyes roamed over her body from where he was standing behind the punching bag, holding it steady for her as she practiced. How could someone not be distracted by that? She was gorgeous. She was funny, she was smart as hell with all that computer stuff, independent, and snarkier than any woman he's ever met in his life.
Oh fuck.
The realization of his feelings put him in a daze, and the force of the punching bag hitting him took his breath away as he stumbled back, an arm around his stomach.
"Oh my god, Ward, are you okay?"
What a beautiful mess I'm in
He didn't respond. Panting, trying to catch his breath, he held his eyes open wide as he stared at her in shock. How in the hell did she get him to feel things he didn't even know about? Every time she walked away it left him craving more.
Her soft fingers held his face and he felt the scratch of the tape around her hands run along his jaw before settling on his chest, "Grant?"
His name. Holy fuck she said his name. Did it always sound that good? That…sexy?
Oh crap, she was talking to him.
"M'fine."
The skeptical look she gave him made him release a breathy laugh and he lowered his arms away from his chest so he could place his own taped hands on both of her shoulders, smiling at her eyes widening from the act.
Gently squeezing, "how 'bout I make us some protein shakes? Grant lowered his hands down her arms until they reached her hands, where he began to undo the tape, feeling her eyes on him the whole time.
"Oh shit, I broke your programming didn't I?"
He chuckled lightly, and the smile she gave in response could have brightened his day for years to come.
Spending all my time with you,
"What? Two agents can't share a meal? You're only my rookie when you're in trouble."
"And when I'm not?"
He heard the bait in the sentence, but he wasn't even sure what he was doing, he was kind of on autopilot right now, so he left the underlying question hanging in the air.
"I guess friends."
How such a sweet smile could turn so mischievous so quickly he would never know. "Well, I guess that's okay…as long as you know…it doesn't completely fry you're hard drive."
There's nothing else I'd rather do
Ward shook his head at the joke.
Silly rookie, she fried his hard drive long ago.
They'd raced out of the hangar onto the landing strip, seeing who could be the first up on the wing of the Bus. Skye had challenged him to the races moments after getting him to agree to go watch the sunset with her. Grant won of course just because of what the hacker deemed, 'his training as a spidey ninja', giving him an advantage in climbing on 'random fucking things'.
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in.
"Yeah, yeah." He crouched down on the wing, his hand extended down to her. "Come on Mary Jane, we ain't got all day."
She rolled her eyes as she reached up and grabbed his outstretched hand, both of his coming down to clasp around her wrist and arm, hauling her up to stand on the wing with him. Not realizing how close they were before, he looked down and met her doe eyes, swallowing the nerves that had formed a lump in his throat.
'Cos I can't get enough,
Her small hands were still clasped in his larger ones, unconsciously pulling them in to his chest, bringing her closer in the process. Watching her eyelashes flutter as they both leaned in, Grant knew this is what he wanted—what he had needed—all this time.
Can't stop the hunger for your love.
This feeling inside him had been growing for months now, starting as an itch and growing into an ache. Their lips were ghosting over one another's now, breathing the same air. He had to keep her safe, always.
But therein lay the problem.
What a beautiful,
He pulled away suddenly, clearing his throat and turning away from her hurt expression. The reflection of the sunset reflected off the plane, and no doubt bathed her in a gorgeous glow, but he couldn't look at her.
To keep her safe, meant to stay away, he wouldn't let Hydra have her. In order to do so, though, he'd have to lie and keep her at arm's length.
What a beautiful mess I'm in.
If he told her the truth, she'd never understand.
Weeks flew by him in a blur, and he's never felt more out of control. He's still coming off of the euphoria of that witch from Asgard's spell, meaning he has to process all the damage she caused to work he already laid out; For example, this thing with May.
Grant gasped in pain as he took his hand away from the coffee cup he had been filling up.
This morning put salt in my coffee
Lorelei revealed the extent of his feelings for Skye to the 'Ice Queen', as well as informing her of the nickname itself. He remembers pulling the trigger of the empty gun, the look on her face as he did so. There was no coming back from that, he tried, but on the inside he knew better.
Shaking his head, he carried his newly refilled cup of coffee back to his bunk and leaned back against the wall on his bed. The only good thing was that Skye had been in the med pod the whole time he was under her spell. The thought of why she was in the med pod sent a streak of anger through his brain, and he felt his jaw lock. If it wasn't one thing it was another. Everything was so confusing…crazy…and it all came down to Skye.
I put my shoes on the wrong feet
The hacker was all that encompassed his thoughts for the weeks following her shooting. Something as simple as his training took extra effort when his mind would drift off thinking how she was doing in the pod asleep. Dropping things, doing things that weren't necessary, loading and trying to re-load his gun, were just a few of the things the team had called him out on doing lately.
Brushing it off had been his go to method when deflecting the science twins, but Coulson and May were a little harder to throw off. Grant ran a tired hand over his face as he remembered what May had said to him in the cockpit.
'More honest with her than you are with yourself.'
I'm losing my mind, I swear,
Then she finally woke up. Grant had waited until everyone had already made their stops to visit her before going in, his breath leaving him as soon as he saw her. A weight lifted off his shoulders at the sight of her chocolate orbs looking at him and smiles broke out on both of their faces as he sat by the bed.
"Keep swingin' and a missin' Ward."
It might be the death of me,
Grant shook his head and laughed before reaching over to grab her hand.
But I don't care.
Maybe he could find another way to protect her.
The Clairvoyant.
The bastard that ordered Quinn to shoot Skye was none other than his own mentor. Grant chastised himself for not realizing it earlier.
"Clever name, huh son?"
John's hand on his back felt like hot irons, and he shrugged it off quickly, earning a glare from the older man.
What a beautiful mess,
"Why?"
"Why what?"
Fingers gripping into fists at his side in an attempt to control his anger, he ground his question out through clenched teeth, "Why shoot Skye? She has nothing to do—"
"Okay yeah, that one—my bad—but now son, she has everything to do with this."
No. No. No. No. No.
"See Ward, she's got the Jesus juice in her now…and," Garrett turned to Ward smiling, "she's sweet on you. We can use that to get her over here so we can look at it."
The proposition made Grant's stomach churn.
What a beautiful mess I'm in.
It was happening.
He'd spent too much time with her, let her become a weakness, and she was going to suffer for it.
Everything Grant Ward touches burns.
"But, sir, I—"
A hand on his throat cut him off mid-sentence and he did not struggle against the hold his S.O. had, "Don't tell me that little Grant is upset that I hurt his toy?" Garrett through Ward back by his throat, fixing his eyes on him like a predator.
Skye's face flashed through his mind.
Spending all my time with you,
Maybe he could still protect her.
He scoffed, "Please, I've got the Cavalry for that." He forced an arrogant smirk onto his face, "The science dweebs are interested in her now though…it will be harder to get her alone."
Garrett sat down in a nearby chair, resting both arms on the arm rests, and leaning back.
"Well then," That smile could wilt roses, "guess you'll just have to try harder."
A nod of his head was the end of the conversation. Oh, he would try harder alright. Grant wasn't about to let Skye out of his sight.
There's nothin' else I'd rather do
The spy held his head in his hands, running his fingers through his black hair that had grown a little longer in the past week. He'd been at the Fridge with Garrett, retrieving Raina so they could continue their research. The team thinks he's putting the bastard in jail. They had no idea that Victoria Hand's blood coated the plane's floor.
A ping comes from his pocket, and he reaches in to retrieve his cell phone before a small smile spreads on his face.
Skye.
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in
For a moment, he was happy again. He had wanted nothing more but to reach out to her, to just hear her voice again. Hydra was coming out of the shadows, his time with her was up, but, he would allow himself these last few interactions. They would have to hold him over.
"Is that your whore?"
Grant shut his eyes tightly, slipping into the role he was expected to play.
Shrugging, "She's just wondering where I'm at."
"And, what did you say?"
The threat was there. 'Better not betray me Grant.'
"I'm in hiding, recovering from the raid at the Fridge."
A hum was his only response as he watched the other man walk slowly around the table he was sitting at, stalking him like he was on the attack. Raina's heels clicking down the hall brought his attention away from Grant, but only for a moment.
"She's encrypted the hard drive. She's the only one who can open it or it will erase everything."
Of course she did. God, he loved how smart she was sometimes.
'Cos I can't get enough
"Well Romeo, guess you'll have to go get her."
He shoved himself away from the table and stood up with a nod, an hand on his arm stopping him in his tracks.
"You can't just go in there like that boy! You were just in a raid! Gotta play the part you know."
Grant tensed up slightly and grimaced when realization of the fact flashed through Garrett's eyes.
"What did you tell the bitch you were recovering from? A," His fist connected with the young spy's stomach, knocking the wind out of him, "punch to the gut? Or maybe a blow to the head?" He felt the blood run down his face after his head made impact with the wall next to them, remaining silent. "Who are you?"
The shout reverberated off of the walls around them, and Grant struggled to regain his senses, "I'm—" A knee to his ribs took ripped a gasp from him as he felt them crack beneath his fingers, "I'm Agent Grant Ward—" A fist to his jaw was a reprieve from the other blows, and he spit the blood that had accumulated in his throat onto the floor. "—an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D."
Skye. Skye. Skye.
You're doing this for Skye. You'll get to see her again.
One last time.
Can't stop the hunger for your love.
"Who?"
Another punch to his jaw.
"Agent Grant Ward of S.H.I.E.—"
Fingers gripped Grant's jacket collar and his back collided roughly with the wall behind him, his ribs screaming in agony at the jarring of the impact. "Who are you boy?"
What a beautiful,
"Agent Grant Ward," more blood, "of S.H.I.E.L.D."
What a beautiful mess I'm in
"Are you okay?"
He turned his face away from her gentle hands, "Yeah, just a scratch." Reaching around to pull his pack off his back, he winced, "maybe a broken rib or two."
Skye helped him remove the pack and immediately grabbed his hand, pulling him into a bathroom down the hall.
"Sit."
The fight in him was all but gone, and he just wanted to be able to sit and stare at this angel while he could. She'd hate him in a few hours and he couldn't bring himself to imagine the look she'd give him then.
He watched silently as she cleaned and patched his wounds. The gentle caresses of her fingers, relaxing him in ways he had never felt.
Why was he giving this up, what was he getting in return for helping Hydra? Grant wasn't an idiot—he'd come to the conclusion long ago that Phil Coulson was a man of many secrets. He may look like a push over, but he was a force to be reckoned with.
Garrett would probably lose this fight.
So why was he letting Garrett take away the only thing that made him feel loved. Gentle fingers ran over his face…. Why was he letting someone take away the only thing, he ever loved.
"Robot? You with me?"
He had to look up at her from his seat on the lip of the tub, the hacker standing in between his legs, hands on both sides of his face. Instead of answering her, his eyes remained locked on hers, his hand involuntarily coming up to push the hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear, cupping the back of her neck gently.
Is it your eyes?
Skye's hands had drifted down to his shoulders, and he felt the grip of her fingers tighten slightly when he ran his fingers through her hair.
"Grant."
Her whisper brought his eyes to her lips, watching her smile at him when she noticed him do so. That smile could warm his heart for years…he just knew it.
Is it your smile?
Oh God.
What was he doing?
Grant had denied himself any form of joy for years now, simply because Garrett had told him it was a weakness. Yet, here was this beautiful woman, giving him everything, building him up each time he's torn down... Laying it out in front of him, and had done so multiple times, only for him to reject her.
Well fuck that.
He'd made up his mind.
All I know is that you're drivin' me wild.
His hand jerked her head forward, crashing her lips onto his.
What a beautiful mess,
They fell on the mattress in a heap of tangled limbs as their mouths moved together, neither breaking the contact for longer than a second. Grant shoved the pain in his ribs down and brought his hands up to cup the hips of the woman hovering above him on her hands and knees.
Their hands roamed over one another, peeling off any restrictive clothing in their way, only stopping once bare skin was revealed.
What a beautiful mess I'm in
Grant pushed her back gently so she was straddling his hips with her knees, giving him access to run his mouth along her chest and torso, shivering as her fingers ran through his hair, nails lightly scraping his scalp and neck as she hugged his head to her.
Ignoring the continued protest of his ribs, he wrapped his fingers around both of her arms, and swung her around so she was pinned underneath him.
"Grant." He couldn't help but feel proud of himself as she panted, "What about your ribs?"
Spending all my time with you,
Grant smiled gently at her concern and leaned down to trail his lips over the apple of her cheek and down her neck, stopping to nip at the juncture of her neck and shoulder.
"Don't worry, it's worth it."
Skye's laugh came out as a moan as he thrusted into her, lacing his fingers with her own and bringing them up by her head as he moved.
There's nothin' else I'd rather do
They lay together in his bed, sheets draped around their waists and his arm stretching from underneath her to cover her chest. The way she gripped his arm over her chest with both hands, made him wonder if she knew anything, but he quickly shrugged the thought off, trailing the fingers of his free hand, over her hip.
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in
Skin to skin.
This was everything he'd ever dreamed of and more.
They had exhausted themselves with all their pent up emotion and were both content to just lie there in silence. The Bus had gone quiet due to the late hour and the moon shone through his small window, illuminating her olive skin.
Her lips on his forearm woke him from his dreamlike state, and he squeezed her gently in response.
'Cos I can't get enough,
"Grant, is everything okay?"
He sighed into her neck and smiled when goose bumps appeared on her flesh.
Can't stop the hunger for your love.
He leaned up and pulled her over to rest on her back, pinning her beneath him once more.
"It is now."
What a beautiful,
They smiled at one another before he pressed his lips to her tenderly.
What a beautiful….
Grant should have known. He should have known Skye would fucking go off on her own, attempting to do what she thought he could not.
Grant had come clean with her, only her, and she had promised to help him. Only now, he found he was regretting the decision as he ran through the halls of the Cybertech building looking for the missing hacker.
What a beautiful mess
A scream brought him to a halt, and he looked around in panic.
What a beautiful mess I'm in
He had to find her. Oh God, he had to.
He'd done this to her after all, he wasn't about to let her pay for his mistakes.
Spendin' all my time with you,
The corridor opened up into a large room that had cubicles stuck together all around, a walkway in the middle.
"Nice of you to join us son."
There's nothin' else I'd rather do
"Let her go John, the hard drive is unlocked, you have what you want."
Ward kept his gun trained on his old mentor, while he kept his eyes on the barrel that was pressed against Skye's skull. Her screams ripped through the air and ripped his heart into as they sunk in.
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in
"True, but it looks like I have one last lesson to teach you, since you obviously didn't learn it the first time."
Fear reflected in Skye's widened eyes as she whimpered and he kept his eyes on her as he tried to provide some type of silent comfort.
He wouldn't let her die.
'Cos I can't get enough,
"And what would that be? I've only ever done everything you've asked of me. What could I have possibly—"
"Weakness!" Garrett threw Skye to the ground, cocking his gun once more as he pointed it to her crumpled body at his feet. "She's brought out a weakness in you, and it's made you blind….pathetic."
Grant smirked, creeping closer to them diverting attention to himself and away from Skye as she slowly began to move away from the man's feet.
"See I think it's quite the opposite actually." Skye was not behind Garrett, and out of the range of his bullet, leaving the man without a bargaining chip. Grant's eyes flicked over to her, and he found he was speaking to her more so than the older man.
"She woke up something strong in me—something good—something that made me realize that everything you had ever taught me was a lie."
Can't stop the hunger for your love,
His mentor's eyes narrowed into slits, "And I'm not willing to ever give that feeling away. My love for her is no weakness John."
A shot erupted and the specialist watched the man who trained him crumple to the ground, holding his shoulder as he writhed in pain, before he slowly walked over to him.
What a beautiful,
"Y-You're weak, you a-always, ha-have been." Garrett coughed blood into his hands as he struggled to reach for the gun he had dropped only to have Grant kick it away from him.
"Funny," Ward lowered his gun to point to the ground, "I'm not the one laying on the ground."
Another shot rang out, and Grant turned to look at Skye, tears streaming down her face.
What a beautiful mess I'm in
He shook his head, his gun clattering to the ground, "I'm sorry, Skye….he would—he would never have stopped until you were dead and I couldn't—"
She was in front of him before he could finish the thought, cradling his head to her chest as he cried.
It was finally over.
They emerged from the building hand in hand some time later to wait for the rest of the team to arrive, and he watched as Skye ran a hand through her matted hair. "God, I'm a hot mess." Grant laughed and with a hand on her lower back, brought her forward, pressing a soft kiss on her lips,
It looked like no matter what they did, their lives would always be a mess…as long as she was part of the chaos that was his life, he guessed it was okay.
AndI can't get enough,
can't stop the hunger for your love….
AN: BTW, I have class in the am and I stayed online to finish this for you guys…be happy. Lmao well let me know what you think…I have not proof read it, I'll do so tomorrow. This was for the challenge I set myself to see if I could make the most random song into a Skyeward fic….I kind of love it…so let me know how I did!