Disclaimer: I do not own Fma or its characters...but a kid can dream can't he!?! Characters are a little OC with a pinch of crack...deal with it! It's my story MUWAHAHAHAHA! No flames!!!

As Ed and Al walked to the city Resembool Al asked, "Brother what do people do when they want a baby?"

Embarrassed Ed said, "Well Al ummmmmmm........well they have ummmmmmmm………sex."

Al asked, "How do people have sex?"

Ed said nothing to keep Al away from learning the truth, but Al wouldn't give up. After a while Al gave up whispering "You mini sized shrimp."

Edward (annoyed) asked," What did you say?"

Al in a worried voice responded, "Nothing brother..."

Ed being a smart ass said, "That's what I thought!"

Arriving in Resembool, Ed and Al headed for their favorite homicidal mechanic, Winry Rockbell. They also couldn't forget about the one and only GRANNY PINAKO! Winry had a huge Wrench in her hand and as soon as hers eyes met with the shrimpy blonds, she screeched, "Take this you dumb ass!"

Ed ran faster than the speed of a caterpillar (A/N WTF?...how fast is a caterpillar?), but it was not fast enough and was hit by the wrench. One droplet of blood hit the ground and Ed jumped up and yelled "OMFG!" He fainted (A/N talk about being squeemish...). Hand on his head Al picked Ed up and carried him to the house saying,* "Jesus man you're so dramatic." (A/N poor Al...he puts up with so much...)

TWO MINUTES LATER. Ed woke up and asked" Why Winry why!?!"

Winry even angrier yelled, "BECAUSE DIP SHIT IT HAS BEEN ALMOST TWO YEARS SINCE I SAW YOU, YOU ASS HOLE!"

Winry ran up to her room and stayed there for a while. After that Ed yelled, "Are you on your period?" (A/N Not a smart move on Ed's part...hehehe)

Winry even madder yelled so loud half the town could hear her, "NO YOU IDIOT!"

(She really was though) Ed just nodded and siad, "Ooooooh, okay then."

Then he went to the kitchen and stuffed his fat face. Ed sang, "Come little cookie to my mouth, let me eat you and when it's done, I can eat your little friends."

Pinako walked in and screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU CHILD! I SHOULD BEAT YOUR HEAD IN!"

Scaring Ed half to death, he dropped his whip cream covered cookie and started to cry like a girl (A/N *gets shot by Riza for being sexist*),

"M-M-MY COOOOOKIE!!!"

Pinako hit him in the head and said, "You little half shrimp, you have issues."

He stopped crying and ranted on about what Granny Pinako didn't say. Like WHO YOU CALLLIN' A MIDGET SIZED PIP SQUEEK WHO WOULD DROWN IN A SINGLE DROP OF WATER!!!

A couple days later they decided to leave. Once again Winry threw her wrench and once again it hit Ed in the head, but this time the wrench was titled THE WRENCH OF DOOOOOOM! Ed and Al left and Al started a talk on where babies came from. Ed lost two things in those two short days. He lost his dignity and his cookie.

My first story...not my sisters this time. Please review...NO FLAMES. Flames will be used to destroy man kind! Good reviewers get Ed's cookie!