Author's note: This is my first Nick/Greg fic. It's mostly from Greg's POV and has a lot of dialogue in his inner voice. Set at the beginning of the new season, so no Sara or Warrick. But it does have Riley. Not beta'd as well so all mistakes are mine. It might be a little weird, but my mind (like Greg's) is an evil, twisted place to be.
Disclaimer: I don't own the farm, I just play in the hay.
Greg Sanders was going mad. Not the in-your-face I'm zany type of mad, but slowly, mentally a little crazy.
It had all started when she arrived. Hate her, the voice in Greg's head said in its little singsong voice. Right now he could see her out of the corner of his eye, laughing and joking with Archie while she waited for something to do. Slow day at the office.
At first he pretended he hated her because she had replaced Warrick. Warrick had been his friend and it was only natural to dislike his replacement. But that wasn't really it. Warrick would never be replaced.
Then he thought it was because she was loud. And enthusiastic. And never stopped talking. And Hodges kept introducing her as "the female Greg" She isn't anything like me.
And then he pretended it was because Catherine liked her. And Catherine didn't like anyone. It took me four months just to get Cath to smile. And then she smiled in irony, rather than laughter. Catherine had liked Riley immediately.
But Greg knew what it really was. Riley flirted. A lot. With everyone. But especially with Nick. And she wasn't allowed to. She's not allowed to flirt with my Nick. He's mine. The little voice in his head was stubborn.
And now Greg was going crazy. He was having conversations with himself and narrating his actions and life. He couldn't look at Riley without wanting to bash her head against something, which was a totally new experience to him because usually he was nice to everyone. And whenever Nick was in the room he teetered between petulant teen and angry adult. Neither of which is a good look for me.
It's just not fair. Greg had wanted Nick for such a long time now that he found it hard to remember a time when he wasn't in love with his colleague. It was a simple crush at first, with lots of flirting and touching and sideways looks. Sometimes he got the feeling that Nick was flirting back and this filled him with such joy, his smile was about a mile wide.
He knew that Nick was straight. He also knew that Nick had a bit of a reputation as a lady-killer. And almost as a lady-of-the-night killer. But this had not stopped Greg from trying and imagining. And I can imagine quite a lot.
All his attempts had obviously never turned to anything (BECAUSE HE IS STRAIGHT! voice-in-his-head-Greg screamed) but Greg had realized too late that he had fallen hard and fast. The last couple of years he had succeeded in distancing himself from Nick, because the horrible gut-wrenching longing of working closely together and being friends was too hard.
And don't even get me started on the whole Nick-is-buried-underground thing. That one gave Greg nightmares for weeks. He couldn't even visit Nick in the hospital because his desire to throw himself on Nick and never let go again would probably have over-rode his common sense.
So Greg had resigned himself to his fate and tried to take it like a man. A deeply hurt, overly sensitive, heart broken man.
But Riley changed everything. He wouldn't have minded Nick getting together with some unknown faceless woman, but he couldn't handle it if it was someone he worked with. So acting on his petulant teen persona, he was being horrible to Riley and avoiding Nick. Great stuff Sanders, real mature.
Not that being horrible to Riley was working. She was always sunny and bright and overly nice. What's that about? Greg didn't get it, because he was being a complete asshat to her and he knew it. So now he was avoiding her too.
This avoidance tactic found Greg sitting in the break room doodling on a piece of paper. He wasn't on assignment yet and was passing the time with his name/word game. Ever since he was little and he liked to take peoples names and replace each letter with a word. Or even two words. That's what happens at high school when you have headgear and no friends.
So in Greg's world, Sara, for example, became Systematic Anal Retentive Asshat when he was in a bad mood with her. Which he was just now because he wanted to talk to her and she had left him. When he wasn't annoyed with her she could be Simply Adorable Really Amazing or if he was trying to annoy her - Said Alright to Ridiculous marriage Arrangement.
His favorite for Grissom was Gigantic Insect Lover.
And Catherine could either be Could Actually Take me down. Hard
Or even Can Anger-management Totally Help?
He had done one for Warrick, shortly after his death.
Will Always Remember Rick In Certain Knowledge.
Archie had found it and (without Greg's knowledge) done some graphic magic to it and printed it on the top of a page. Underneath everyone had written something that Warrick had taught them over the years, and Hodges had framed it. It now hung in the corridor outside the DNA lab.
Right now, Greg's little voice was thinking up a few for Riley.
Really Incredibly Lame and Easy Yick-fest was his best so far. Or maybe Really? an Indigo Labcoat with those Eyes? Yowza.
Greg's petulant teen side giggled at this last one and therefore did not hear the object of his spite come flouncing into the break room.
"Hi Greggo," she said as she made her way to the coffee counter. "I'm making coffee for me and Nicky. You want?"
"His name is Nick," Greg replied in a tone eerily reminiscent of the petulant teen he could hear in his head. You are NOT allowed to call him Nicky. Not now, not EVER.
"Aww Greggles," Riley replied smiling brightly and cocking her head to one side. "You still hate me? Don't worry you'll love me soon enough. Everyone does." With that she took two cups of coffee and headed out the door, winking at Greg on the way.
Dear God, does nothing annoy her? It's like she's permanently high. Maybe I can get Grissom to check on that…
"Greg!" As if on cue Grissom called from the next room. "Get in here."
Slow day finally picking up. Greg was glad of the distraction. After all I can go back to pining and hating later on
Two hours later
Greg's case had not been too difficult and he was finally heading for home. After a quick check with Catherine that there was nothing more for him to do, he headed for the locker room. Passing the break room on his way he spotted Riley and Nick, deep in conversation. She was patting his forearm and looking up into his face. Greg fought back the urge to enter the room and rip her hand right out of its socket. Whoa, Sanders – some pretty heavy violent thoughts for even your twisted mind.
Riley's chirpy tone pierced through his inner voice. "Bye, G!" she called and waved. "See ya tomorrow!"
Greg looked up and caught Nick's gaze. Even after two years of avoidance Greg could still read Nick like a book. He was pleading with him to say something nice and this concern on Riley's behalf almost split Greg in two. Turning so that neither could see the expression on his face he muttered "Yeah, whatever" and practically ran to the locker room.
As soon as he got into the room he threw himself on the bench in front of the lockers and pressed both palms into his eyes in frustration. What is wrong with me! Greg knew he was on the edge of sanity now. Wanting Nick and having to be here with him every day has finally pushed me over the edge. And its not Riley's fault. She probably doesn't even like him and I'm acting like I'm 15 years old. And a girl. Girly Ridiculously Evil Greg.
"What am I gonna do?" This question Greg directed to the room at large. To his surprise the room answered.
"Dunno, G. Maybe stop being such a dick."
Nick had entered the room behind him and came to sit next to him on the bench. Greg visibly tensed at his presence and his sanity took another leap off into the unknown. He hadn't been this close to Nick in a good few months and despite knowing that only bad and uncontrollable things could happen from this moment in, Greg couldn't get up and run away. He was afraid for his brain, his common sense, his job if he carried on denying that there was anything wrong. I'm tired of running.
Nick was talking again. "She's nice, you know. You'll like her. I don't get it at all"
"You like her," Greg's petulant teen was not going to give up without a fight and his tone was accusatory.
"I do, yeah. And I keep telling her how amazing you are, but she's having a hard time believing me. I'm having a hard time believing it now as well considering how you've been trying to cut me out for the last few years." Greg was shocked that Nick had noticed the distance he had tried to maintain, but was slightly more shocked by the word Nick had used to describe him. No one has ever called me amazing before. Maybe amazingly stupid, but never amazing. A little beacon of hope flared in his belly, but Greg knew better than to rely on such things. He had read way too much into Nick's actions before.
Nick sighed and Greg chanced a look up at him. "Riley has this theory, you know?"
I do not want to hear her theories. Greg grunted non-comitally in response and looked back down at his feet. Nick had moved slightly closer and the heat radiating from him was being to affect Greg's sense of reality.
"OK fine. You don't want to hear it. You don't want to talk to me. I get it. Just tell me what it is you don't like about her?" asked Nick.
Greg was too tired and too strung out to lie. "She's……she's …….she's loud. And she talks all the time. And she's overly enthusiastic. And she flirts with everything that steps foot inside the building.." Greg trailed off knowing that these weren't really good enough reasons to be a bitch to the new girl.
To his surprise, Nick laughed. God, I've really missed that sound.
"Are you joking me, G? Those are all the things people used to say about you."
Even Greg had to smile at that. "But I always pulled it off better," he replied in a small voice.
"She thinks that you're jealous." Nick spoke the real reason for his behavior in such a matter of fact voice that Greg felt ashamed. "She has this idea that you're protective of me and that your feelings towards her are linked to your relationship with me," continued Nick, breathing fast so that his words were rushed. As if he is really nervous. "I told her that she was wrong, because you've barely spoken to me in two years, unless you had to. You won't look me in the eye, you leave rooms when I enter them, and you flinch if I come anywhere near you."
Nick paused and moved slightly closer. As if to test his theory, he tentatively put one hand on Greg's shoulder. At his touch the last little bit of Greg's self control deserted him. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the locker. His hand feels so good there. He couldn't control it now. One word escaped from him, drawn from years of pent up frustration and being so close to something he could never have.
"Nicky…" God, the anguish is just evident in your voice, Sanders. Way to let him know you're in love with him.
But Nick didn't say anything. He put his other hand out and cupped Greg's chin, turning his head so that they were facing each other.
Greg had no idea what was going on but kept his eyes clamped firmly shut. He was terrified that if he opened them, Nick wouldn't be there. What if this is all another game my fractured sanity is playing on me? He was beginning to think this whole conversation was a figment of his imagination. Naturally he would love it, if Nick came to him and actually sounded as if he was upset that Greg hadn't been in his life recently. It would be just like me to imagine that straight-as-a-die-Nick has been pining for me and is now gently caressing my shoulder.
Nick's voice broke through his inner discussion. "G, stop thinking so much," he ordered, his voice soft and low.
What happened next was either the most amazing thing that had ever happened in Greg's entire life. Or my seriously fucked up mind is an evil twisted place to be.
Because Nick was kissing him. And not just tentative light kissing. Desperate, needy, wanting. Greg decided that even if his mind was playing tricks on him, this was too good a dream to just sit there and let Nick do all the work. He ran his tongue lightly over Nick's bottom lip, requesting entry and was granted this entry almost immediately. He was also rewarded with a small groan.
Greg opened his eyes slightly and realized that this Nick who was enthusiastically kissing him was the real Nick. And he was kissing him. Greg shut out everything except Nick, letting the little voice in his head fade into the background. He grasped desperately at Nick's shirt and buried one hand in Nick's hair.
After what could have been hours or maybe just minutes, they broke apart. Greg rested his forehead against Nick's so that they were sharing the same air. Greg was still slightly wary that this could all be in his mind, so wanted to keep the connection between them.
"So Riley was right, huh? You were jealous." Nick stroked one hand down Greg's arm as he asked. "She told me that it was totally obvious that you were into me, but I didn't want to believe her. When you've wanted something for so long it's difficult to believe that you might actually get it." Yeah, I know that feeling.
"Maybe I've had her pegged wrong," Greg admitted. If she had anything to do with the fact that I have just kissed Nick Stokes, then I will get down on my knees and kiss her feet.
"Come on, we can't really talk in the locker room. Let's go back to mine." Greg hadn't meant to sound quite so forward and blushed profusely when Nick raised an eyebrow at him.
"Is that what kind of guy you are, Greg Sanders?" he asked jokily. "Cause I usually insist on dinner first."
"Is that all it takes?" Greg replied as he stood up and headed to his locker, eyes never leaving Nick's. On the front of his locker an envelope had been taped up.
Greg took it down and looked at the addressee. It had the letters Y.A.A.A printed on the front. He opened the envelope and read the short note inside.
Greggles,
Now that you've got what you want, can we be friends? I'm nice really. And I want to introduce you to my boyfriend because he has no one else to talk to about Marilyn Manson. Pretty please?
PS: Y.A.A.A is your new name. I couldn't think of anything good for your actual name. I'll be calling you that from now on. And if you can't work out what the letters stand for then you're not as smart as everyone keeps telling me you are!
Love and Hugs
Riley
Greg hadn't noticed that Nick was standing behind him, reading over his shoulder.
"So, brainiac, what does it stand for?"
Greg sighed, leaned back and before answering the man he was crazy about he allowed himself one last thought. Riley's great.
"You Are An Asshat."