"Bill good luck tonight. I love you" is what I heard over his phone when we were in the hotel room. Per usual we had two rooms, but were sharing the one. I was slipping my dress back on when he hung up the phone. "Did you tell Maggie I said hi?" I said in a snarky tone. "Don't even start. Seriously!" Bill snapped back re-buttoning his shirt. Things had been getting tense between us as of late. After the hook up on his couch and his wife being on the next floor, I was getting impatient. I could not understand why he was still with her. It's not like it was to keep up with appearances, I mean Christ they are never seen together. But that ring is always seen.
"I'm sorry, I'm just edgy. That flight was long and now I feel jet lagged as hell" I replied, not actually really that sorry. We left the room and got in the car waiting outside for us. The two of us were headed to The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. We were going to promote our new film and Bill was going to catch up with an old friend, I a new friend. "Are you coming over after the show?" Bill asked. I laid my head against the window, looking out on the city lights. "I don't know, maybe" I said without looking away from the lit streets of New York. This tension had been making things awkward between us and you could feel it in the air. Silence filled the back seat of the car the rest of the ride.
By the time we had arrived to Rockefeller Center, Bill had spoken up. He had just opened the door for me and I took his hand when he reached out. "Well I would like it if you would come over and see me when we get back" he said sheepishly. "You know I more than likely will, for some reason I am frustrated with you, but can't resist you" I replied. We walked in and were shown to our dressing rooms. I just wanted to be by myself. I had to think about what was happening with us. He said he loved me, but why was Maggie even a conversation piece at this point. I had been asked out a few times now and was turning down offers, for him. A knock came from outside my door telling me that Bill and I were needed behind curtain now. The show had just went to commercial and we were going out right afterwards. I felt him put one of his strong arms around my waist and bring me close. He squeezed me with his fingers and electricity shot threw me. This was the dilemma, I wanted to give up, but those feelings were a sign I was not.
Jimmy announced our names and we walked out. We put on our smiles and waved at the crowd. They were applauding and shouting and we just continued to wave and smile like trained monkeys. Bill and I took our seats and Jimmy asked us how we were. It was well known that he and I were best friends (not lovers) and Jimmy wanted to go over that. He asked us what it was like to work with your best friend and how it is possible to have that kind of chemistry on set. We went through the normal spiel about how we were like brother and sister…blah blah blah. We weren't allowed to announce that we were in love and had been having an affair for over a year. Jimmy asked us what it was like to do a love scene since we were like brother and sister. It hurt to have to make up some story about how it could be awkward but we were comfortable enough with each other to see each other almost fully naked. Neither of us could talk about the fact that we almost spent every few days pressed skin to skin.
He showed a clip of the film and it the cameras panned back to us. People seemed to enjoy the clip, the film as a whole had been received well. Jimmy reverted back to our friendship towards the end of the interview to wrap things up and showed a few photos. One was of Bill and I reading comic books in our trailers on set, one of us watching Jaws, one of us dressed as Spiderman and Black Cat last Halloween (Maggie doesn't do Halloween). Can I just say those costumes were extremely ironic for a secret we wanted to keep under wraps? If you know the back story between those two than you know what I am talking about. We stayed for the next interview which was with Mark Paul Gosselaar and then the musical guest Ms Mr. We hung out with Jimmy shortly after the show and headed back to our hotel.
By the time we had got up the elevator and headed to my room, Bill started to take off his suit. "I think the promotion went really well" he said. "I guess" I replied with almost no emotion. I went over and poured myself a drink. By drink I mean straight vodka from the minibar into a complementary hotel glass. "What has been your deal lately?" Bill asked a little angrily. "I am so fucking tired of this. It's to the point to where I want to quit, but I can't. Something inside of me doesn't want to. But I don't know if I continue to just set aside and not let everybody know I love you. Bill, I love you. I am madly in love with you and I cannot let anybody know that, other than Andy of course. You get to go home and at least sleep next to a warm body. Do you know what I get to do? Wake up thinking you'll be there. Some days you are, but most days you're not. That kills me". I just poured my feelings out, it was coming out like vomit. I had held these feelings in long enough. He needed to hear this.
"Look it's not that I don't love you, I do! I just need time—" he began. "Yeah, you always need time to figure out how you are gonna break the news to Maggie. Fuck that! You are not happy with her, why the fuck do you hang around? You never have a valid excuse other than the girls and dammit staying with someone for the sake of the children is not only selfish, but can hurt them". He came over, bare chested, and reached out for me. "Get away from me! Get out of my room!" I yelled. "Please, I don't want to lose you. Please you are the best thing that has happened to me. I won't have anything other than Hannah and Harper if you leave. Please! I swear, I have plans to end things soon. Don't leave!" His eyes started to swell, which sent me into a crying fit.
He came over to me and pressed his lips against mine. I gave in to his warm kiss and went limp in his arms. His tongue entered through my lips and massaged my mouth. I met his massage and grabbed his jaw. I couldn't give up on him, no matter how hard I tried. He spun me around and unzipped my dress while I felt his hot breath tracing my skin. He was kissing my neck and at this point undoing my bra. My clothing fell to the carpeted ground. I could hear him fumbling with his belt and when I turned around, his pants were already on the other side of the bed. He laid me down on the bed and started to caress my body with his mouth. He was filling every square inch of my body with little personal brands of his lips. Bill slowly pulled at the lace trim on my panties and pulled them around my knees then to my ankles. He slid off his own boxers and returned to Frenching me.
I rolled on top of him and returned the favor. I ran my tongue down the length of his jaw line and moved to his shoulders. My mouth hovered over them while I moved back and forth. All he could feel was the warmth from my mouth waiting to press against his skin. When I finally did, I was sure to leave a small hickey. I normally was very cautious of this because of Maggie, but decided to disregard her. I pulled him back on top of me and he looked me in the eyes while running his manly hands through my hair. That's when I felt him enter me. I winced in pleasure. He slowly thrusted as I wrapped my entire being around his body. He bit my earlobe and whispered "I love you" in my ear. I ran my fingertips up and down the length of his back while he pressed in and out of me. I had a deep infatuation with the way he made love to me.
He held my face in his hands when we were both ready to explode. Our sexual chemistry was one for the books and we both reached our peak simultaneously. His body collapsed on top of mine when finished. I lay under him, chest heaving, in complete bliss. He managed to pick himself up and lay next to me, holding me. "I genuinely cannot handle seeing you leave. I NEED you to stay" he whispered. "You know I will" I replied. We laid there under the cotton covers listening to complete silence. And it was beautiful.