AN: this is a little oneshot I wrote a few years ago. i don't own the characters and i have used 'Final Fantasy VII: dirge of cerberus' to get the words she tells. after this piece i hope to get a new chapter on one of my other fanfictions up. see you soon =)

There are some wounds time can't heal, some memories time can't banish. Every night I remember. An undisturbed sleep is a rare gift given to me at few times. I can't find rest or ease during the day when I suffer under peoples' stares and threats. Neither can I find peace at the time of the night when my past haunts me.

With a sigh I rose from the bed and threw off the damp quilts. I let my gaze wander over the room to my dusty cape. The crimson cloth was draped over the back of a chair. Seldom have I taken it off. I feel naked without it, bared and vulnerable. Suddenly I rise and hurries over the floor. I gather it up and wrap it around me, letting myself drown in its caressing touch. This is my only sanctuary.

Gently I open the window and let the cool night's breeze wash my cheeks. It's a lovely night. But there is also a full moon tonight. One moment of hesitation, then I threw myself out through the window. At once the magic comes. Unbidden as always. Soaring high above the peaceful village I smile. The wind plays in my long raven hair and I know that my crimson eyes glows. Yes… this is my realm indeed, which I alone am the master of.

Suddenly a pang of pain near my heart sends me crashing down. I hit the roof hard, my breath stolen away. I can't move anymore. The waves of pain constrict me. Chaos. The dark secret which I try to keep hidden from the surrounding world. He is a part of me and I am a part of him. We are one, we shares the same body.

But tonight he is strong. Though I have bit my lip I almost cry out with pain. My golden claw carves deep rents in the concrete. Is he stronger? Will he finally win tonight? Is my body to be stolen and my time forfeit? The moon slowly spreads it light over me. Now I cry out loud, tears streaming down my cheeks. Is this the end?

Red mist rises around me, dazzling and hazing. My body changes and I whines. When I am forced to turn on my stomach my arms feels as they will shatter any moment. I can see my skin darken and my nails turn into cruel claws. A rip of pain and I arch my back against the sky. Black leather wings sprouts from my shoulder blades.

Suddenly I see a crimson cloth. I remember. This is the cloak she gave me… I don't want to lose it. It is my only memory of her. My only key to freedom. Once again I hear her whisper in my head. "I'm so sorry!" Don't be I want to answer, but discovers that I no longer can speak. My voice is a deep growling or a shrill hissing now. I feel sad. Then angry. Angry at myself for being so weak and angry at him for doing this to me and her. "You mustn't let Chaos rule you! You must rule Chaos! I know you can do it!"

Once again I hear her voice and the desperation and sadness in it reaches the little part of me which still is alive. I can't fail her! With a growl I rise to my knees despite the pain and his growling. I snarl at him and gather my strength. My eyes are burning and suddenly I simmer of power. I reach for the materia in my soul and awaken it. My last defence against him. The toll is immense and I sink down exhausted to the bone.

He hisses at me and curse me when he retreats, but as weary as I am I no longer has the strength to care. I manage to roll over on my back and wince. It's sore. Laying there I watch the full moon. I've always thought of it as pretty but now when Chaos is inside me I only feel disgust and nausea when I see it. Another thing he has soiled forever.

But then a weak smile appears on my lips. I turn my head and my gaze caresses the crimson cloth tenderly. Once again it has saved me. Finally I let my eyelids fall down and then I whisper in an almost soundless voice:

"Lucrecia, don't be sorry…"