Something hung in the air.
It was hard to feel, but it was still there. It simply did not matter whether it was obvious to or not; it just existed. He did not know why, though.
The feeling was not only difficult to detect, it was difficult to recognize. At least, he couldn't find the proper words to describe the invisible mist in the air. Sure, he knew how he should describe it properly, but once again the English language failed to be descriptive enough to find words. As usual.
There was always a flaw in language. He never seemed to find a good enough word to speak how he felt or what was going on. If he could, he would invent a whole new language to replace it. But he knew how long that would take, and how much work, how much dedication. And determination was certainly something he hugely lacked in life.
The air felt heavy, but in a good way. It made his heart feel light as a dove feather; it made him feel happy.
There was a sort of loyalty set in his mind as well. To what, he didn't know. But he felt that if he was to ever part from it, he would collapse and never get back up, never recover. It was a gleeful loyalty to something that made his heartbeat speed up and his toes wiggle in his shoes. It made him smile, the blood rushing to his face so that his cheeks turned a rosy pink.
He felt hot, but not too hot. A heat that warmed him from an emotional iceblock. Like he had fallen down in snow and gotten soaked with freezing water, only to be covered with a fuzzy red blanket and lay down on top of a warm heating vent. A good kind of hot.
When he had been a core, his range of emotion was limited to simple feelings like sorrow, glee, anger, grief, and last but not least, curiosity. But this new human body had these other strange feelings he wasn't familiar with. Most of them he did not like. Most of the made something inside him squirm, or his skin crawl with an eerie silence in his mind. But this one, oh, this one was one he definitely wanted to keep around. This one he liked, and he liked it very much so. He didn't know why though. The way it made something in his chest flutter wasn't too comfortable, and it made his brain sluggish.
But for whatever strange reason, he adored the feeling.
It happened at the strangest of times. He couldn't find an obvious pattern in when it occurred, so he had no way of predicting when it would happen, or why. It just fell upon him randomly. Well, he supposed there was some reason to it, but it was invisible to him. He wouldn't stop it if he could, anyway. The feeling had a kind of longing embedded into its depths, a want that in which he couldn't pinpoint the cause. He was oddly curious to what it was. It was alien to him, but he still had this quiet voice in the back of his head that told him to investigate it further. As to why he should do so, he did not know.
But he could never find the strength to argue with that voice. It had always been there, even when he was a core. It told him right from wrong, despite the fact that it had no true sound. He just knew it was there and what it was saying. It told him opposite of what his cautious instincts did, and it just seemed right to listen to it.
And now, it was telling him that this was a good feeling, and he should know more about it.
He didn't know exactly what to make of this. And, unlike most things he wasn't sure about, he somehow didn't have the drive or courage to ask his best friend, Chell, about it.
This confused him the most. He mostly felt no hesitation asking her things, and receiving an answer, but now his heart plummeted at the mere thought.
Perhaps it was a sort of habit hardwired into human brains. Maybe other humans had felt this before, and asking was met with some sort of consequence. Maybe over time, people's minds had evolved to evade asking.
That answer satisfied him; at least, for now. That must be it. There was no other logical explanation. That just had to be it. It just had to be.
He yawned, breathing in the heavy air taught with the unfamiliar emotion and drawing it deep into his lungs.
He looked back down at the book in his hands, eager to escape his confusing thoughts and delve into the story of ink and white paper again. For some reason, he was at a different page then when he had left off before he had drifted into a daydream. He must have turned the pages without really knowing, reading even though his brain had not registered the black words his eyes were feeding him. He honestly had lost track how many times this same thing had happened to him. Sometimes he just went into auto-pilot, letting his mind wander but still physically reacting to events around him.
He shook his head wearily. Now he would have to try to remember the page number he had left off on. Brilliant.
Footsteps echoed through the fairly silent hallway to his left, their quiet pattering barely breaking the still air. He wrinkled his nose as his glasses slipped down his face, attempting to bring their lenses back into his line of vision.
Chell entered the living room, her white socks muffling her footsteps. He did not notice her; the glasses had proceeded to threatening to fall off his face altogether. He fumbled with his hands to keep a grip on the paperback book while still moving the silver eyewear back onto the bridge of his nose without smearing the glass.
She smiled faintly at his uncoordinated movements, his sky-blue eyes narrowing in a frustrated manner.
He managed to get them back on, leaving one or two fingerprints on the lenses. He wiped them off hastily with the sleeve of his shirt, his annoyance obvious on his face.
He glanced around the room before his eyes rested on the book again, his gaze sliding right past Chell and the black cat that had appeared moments before at her heels. It's green eyes glinted mischievously, no doubt planning in its quick-thinking mind how to next launch an ambush on the lanky man before it. One ear twitched indignantly, unamused by its master's struggle.
The fur on its shoulders lifted for a moment, then flattened again as it turned to trot off to one of its hiding places.
He remained undisturbed and still for about ten full seconds, until a startled realization flashed in his eyes. He jumped slightly, looking up at Chell, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks.
He grinned nervously. "Oh, hello. Uh, didn't see you there..."
Chell replied with an amused gleam in her slate-gray eyes. She placed her left foot on her toes, shifting her weight to her other foot.
There it was again; that strange emotion he couldn't identify. He felt his heart begin to pound, his head throb with an unpleasant beating. He swore Chell could hear it.
Why? he asked himself. Why is it always around her?
Certainly Chell could have nothing to do with this! That just didn't make sense. How could Chell trigger such an emotion? Of course he felt happy when she was around, it made him feel safe and cared for, but something as strong and yet soft as this could not be possible.
He tried to cover up his cautious expression with a more cheery one, but only succeeded to make his already-red face become a light crimson. He could feel the warmth gathering on either side of his lips.
His heart seemed to want to push out of his chest, pressing against his ribcage to listen to what was going on beyond. A fuzzy something settled in his stomach, heating his insides and only strengthening his awkward smile.
If what he thought was true, that the human mind had adapted to keeping this feeling secret, he did not want Chell to notice it. If it was something bad, then he really needed to stay away from it. He wanted to gain her complete trust, especially after that... What happened back There.
Chell didn't see the thoughts flashing by in his mind, she just gave a quiet nod and turned away.
Something in his brain snapped. It was tired of being held in, to be concealed.
He felt conflicted, fighting himself in his own mind. It didn't seem right. But it was right in another way, another way that was unknown and ignored by him.
He mentally shook himself and returned to his book.
I'm so ashamed of myself for this.
I only have five more minutes of internet or so, because I'm actually around a thousand miles away from home. It took me quite awhile to get this working.
I intended to write Chelley fluff at first, but I just felt strange doing it for some reason. I also have no idea how to convey that feeling you get when you read it like some writers can. I envy them. A lot. (Yes, I'm talking to you, Msfcatlover, Tib, and MoMoneyMoFiction. I envy you very much.)