How to Raise a Nation- A Guide by Arthur Kirkland

by MrsBeilschmidt3

Prussia wakes up to find out that he's the big brother of the newborn nation of Germany. He remembers that England is in the beginning stages of raising little America, and decides to learn some childrearing skills from the other nation. But how great is England at raising kids, really?

1. Hello, My Name Is Germany Raise Me!

I was not in the mood. It was some ungodly hour of the still-dark morning, when Old Fritz decided it would be a fun idea to wake me up.

"What is it, Fritz?" I growled, kicking off the covers and standing up. Seriously, I love the guy, but aren't old people supposed to be asleep at such a time? Heck, aren't young people supposed to be asleep at such a time? But no, the king woke me up at one of those times when just getting out of bed makes one feel like one is dying from hypothermia.

"It's a baby," he responded.

This didn't register with me for a second. Then Fritz handed me a little blue bundle with a note attached to it. I blinked away blessed sleep and looked down at the baby. And then it hit me. The baby. Scheisse, where did this come from? I read the note.

"This is Ludwig Beilschmidt. He will be the nation of Germany when he gets older. He is your younger brother."

Okay, well, that was sudden and unexpected. Just, "Here's your long-lost brother. BTW, he's a nation too. Have a nice few hundred years raising him." "The awesome me is going back to sleep," I declared. "Fritz, take the baby, I'll deal with him in the morning."

But then, just as I was about to hand baby Germany to my boss, he made the saddest little noise I had ever heard. Just a little whimper, like a hurt puppy. I peeled back his blanket a little and looked at his face for the first time. It was all red and scrunched up from crying, with little tears on his cheeks. He had a tiny bit of fuzzy, whitish-blonde hair on the top of his head. Between you and me, the kid was pretty cute.

"Hey, kiddo," I said awkwardly. "I guess you wanna go back to your old home, huh? I don't really know where that is, but apparently I'm your big brother, so… hey, don't cry, please. That's a good baby… nation…" I looked over at Fritz, who for some reason was facepalming.

"Um…I guess I'll put him to bed," I murmured, but Old Fritz put a hand on my arm. "Prussia, he's a baby. He needs a cradle. Plus, he needs feeding and bathing…"

"Fritz!" I whined. "I am the awesome Prussia, not a nursemaid! Plus, what do I know about babies?"

"Well, you'd better learn, because Germany will be your responsibility," my boss pointed out, smiling at the baby in my arms.

I looked down at little Germany. My responsibility. Oh, scheisse. I needed help. Who knew how to take care of kids? And then it hit me…