Inspired by a spoiler still from 5x16, but there are quite obviously no actual spoilers in this story. This is pretty different for me, I hope you enjoy it!
"No. No, no, no. This is not happening. I refuse," Kurt said, frantic and agitated.
"We have no other options, Kurt," King Burt said. "This war between us and Westerville has gone on too long, and the augur has stated that the only way it will end is if we both send out our best men for single combat in the arena. If we don't do it soon, the snows will come before we have any men home to harvest, and we simply cannot afford that."
"Well then why isn't Finn going?" Kurt asked, pointing sharply at his stepbrother and feeling his sword smack against his legs as he paced up and down Burt's council chambers. Finn flinched out of the way as if he'd been pierced with an arrow. "He's been a warrior longer than I have, he knows what he's doing."
"The augur went on to say that the men must also be true-blooded descendants of the kings," Burt explained. "I cannot say why that caveat was added, but if she included it, it must be important."
"I am going to strangle the augur when she returns," Kurt muttered, dropping his head into his hands as he ended his frustrated pacing. "Why couldn't Santana predict a peace treaty or something? No, instead she's got to place the future of the kingdom square on my shoulders."
"You can do this, little brother!" Finn said encouragingly from his seat next to Burt. Kurt gave him a menacing glare. "Just trying to be supportive."
Kurt sighed deeply. "Fine. I will go represent Lima in the arena. Did King Cooper say who will be representing Westerville?"
"His little brother Blaine, if I'm not mistaken," Burt answered, looking relieved that Kurt had acquiesced. "I don't know much about him, but I don't think I've heard any great tales of his prowess. He might be an easy match."
"Thank the gods for small miracles," Kurt said acerbically. "May I have your leave now, Father, or do you have any other surprises to drop on me? A long-forgotten betrothal or anything similar? You may as well just tell me now and make a day of it."
"No, my son, that's all," Burt said, a little disgruntled. "And don't think that just because you've reached your majority doesn't mean I won't have you confined to your chambers for impertinence."
"I'm sorry, Father," Kurt apologized, actually sincere. "I simply never expected this."
"Nor did I, Kurt," Burt said. "Now, go train as you see fit. You have three days until this combat, and all of Lima is counting on you to end this war in our favor."
"That makes me feel so much better," Kurt said, rolling his eyes before bowing to his father and exiting the room. "Gods above, why couldn't I have been a stable boy or something?" he asked himself as he walked back to his chambers. "Or live in a realm with a less contentious neighboring king?"
King Cooper was notoriously greedy for land, and he had invaded a long-contested part of Lima recently in the hopes that Burt would cede it easily to avoid a war. Unfortunately for him, that long-contested part of Lima was where Burt's first queen Elizabeth had been born and buried, and he wouldn't give it up for anything. Thus, a war had begun during the hot summer months, and if either realm wanted any crops in storage for the winter, they needed the battles to end soon so the citizens could come back home and harvest.
"A million curses upon you, King Cooper," Kurt said as he changed into his practice gear. "May you never be fruitful, and may you...may you go bald before you have achieved thirty winters." Kurt couldn't think of a more despicable curse to lay on anyone, truthfully.
Three days later, the sounds of horns and drums echoed off the surrounding hills as Kurt's retinue approached the combat arena. It had been erected in the center of the contested plot, with enough seats to allow the warriors from both lands to watch their princes end this war once and for all, much to Kurt's chagrin. He had worked himself hard over the past few days, but if this Prince Blaine was far taller or more muscular than he, then he still may be at a great disadvantage. He couldn't suppress a look of unease.
"Remember, Kurt, you're quick at dodging and can see chances to take blows almost before they appear," Finn said, nudging his horse closer. He must have noticed Kurt's distress. "If you stay alert, you'll have Prince Blaine beaten down before it's time for the noon meal."
"Your confidence is reassuring, Finn," Kurt said, truly grateful. You can do this, he told himself as they dismounted before their tents. The gods of war have smiled upon you in training, so why should they turn their backs now? He quickly got dressed for combat, putting on a lightweight, pale blue cotton shirt and close-fitting navy breeches before getting Finn to help him buckle on his armor. He sharpened his sword one final time before sheathing it and strapping his swordbelt around his waist, the methodical motions helping him focus his mind.
"Are you ready, little brother?" Finn asked just before midmorning, when the battle was scheduled to start. Kurt gave him a decisive nod.
"Never felt better," he said, letting Finn lead him out of the tent and into the arena. The crowd roared in both appreciation and jeering for him as he appeared, depending on which realm they were from, but he blocked it out to level his gaze on his opponent, who was just arriving as well. When he got a good look at the other man, he almost fell to the ground in shock.
Prince Blaine was small, shorter than Kurt by about half a hand, but he was muscled. His arms bulged against the dark green shirt he wore under his armor, and his chest looked strong and solid. More diverting than that, though, was his face. He was gorgeous, with large golden eyes and a full mouth that Kurt hoped would be covered by his helm so it wouldn't distract him mid-battle. His luminous skin and dark hair capped off the picture, and Kurt knew that if they had met in more fortunate circumstances, he probably would have been begging his father to set up a betrothal within minutes.
"Shit," Kurt muttered to himself after taking Blaine in. "This is not what I was expecting."
"I know, how fortunate is it that he's even smaller than you?" Finn responded, misunderstanding Kurt as usual. "This should be incredibly simple, little brother!"
Before Kurt could respond, the augur spoke. "Attention!" she cried out, waiting for the crowd to fall to a hush. "This battle between Prince Kurt of Lima and Prince Blaine of Westerville will decide what shall become of this piece of land. If Prince Kurt is the victor, Lima will continue to reign over it forever. If Prince Blaine somehow manages to best Prince Kurt, it will be ceded to Westerville until that realm should fall into ruin. Is that understood?" Kurt nodded, seeing Prince Blaine do the same across the field. "Combatants, to me!" Santana raised her arms, and both men put on their helms walked to the center of the arena where she stood. "If one of you has not fallen after thirty minutes, you will be allowed a break for water and to bandage any wounds you may receive. I am required to inform you that this should be a fair fight, although it pains me to say it. I'd much prefer watching the both of you try to claw the other's eyes out." Kurt rolled his eyes at Santana's remark, while Prince Blaine appeared stunned at her immodesty.
"I assure you, I would never attempt to defeat Prince Kurt through trickery," he said earnestly. "If I cannot win honorably, I do not wish to win at all."
Santana looked disgusted. "I'm going to start this battle before you can say anything else that will make me wish to be ill all over the arena," she said, glaring at him. "On my mark. Three...two...one...fight!" She screamed the last word before hurrying out of the way. Kurt unsheathed his sword the instant Blaine did his, and the fight began.
The first few minutes were a blur of running and dodging as both boys attempted to find the other's weaknesses. Blaine was a skilled fighter, lashing out at Kurt's unprotected joints whenever he saw an opening, but Kurt was ready, managing to twist away from the majority of Blaine's advances and noting that Blaine wasn't quite as quick as him. By the time thirty minutes had passed, both Kurt and Blaine had cuts along their arms and waists where their armor couldn't meet if they wanted any freedom of movement at all, and they were sweating profusely. Santana called for a rest.
"You both have five minutes to rest, rehydrate, and clean your cuts," she said, voice carrying out to the crowd. "Since neither of you has suffered any great damage, I must also divine an augury for what is to happen during the next round in order to make it more challenging for you. I will inform you of what is to occur before you restart."
Kurt swallowed nervously before allowing Finn to strip off his armor and bandage his scrapes. "I didn't know the fight was going to get progressively harder if one of us didn't immediately succumb."
"What did you say, little brother?" Finn asked, whipping his head back to Kurt. Kurt looked in the direction Finn had been staring as he had cleaned Kurt's wounds, where a tiny brunette girl was standing near Prince Blaine looking worried.
"Are you honestly making eyes at one of Prince's Blaine's company whilst I am fighting to the death?" Kurt asked, astonished. "One who appears to be his sister, no less."
"My apologies, Kurt!" Finn said, looking truly sorry. "I assure you, I was watching you fight, but then, well...she's beautiful, Kurt, what could I do?"
"Perhaps show a little concern for your brother, whose death would mean you are next in line for the throne of Lima, which I know you do not want?" Kurt said, glaring at Finn. Finn cowered slightly in terror, which mollified Kurt somewhat.
"I noticed that Prince Blaine seems to get distracted whenever you face him directly," Finn said. "Perhaps try getting him to focus on you before striking?"
"If need be," Kurt said, unwilling to really consider that plan. It could distract Blaine, true, but Kurt would also have to keep from being distracted himself by Blaine's captivating eyes. Before Finn could dispense any more advice, Santana stepped forward again.
"The augury has spoken!" she yelled. "It has decided that the princes must now fight with no protection above the waist, in order to increase the danger and thus the likelihood for a more threatening blow. Namely, no armor, no shirts, and no helms!"
"What?!" Kurt squawked from his corner, loud enough for the entire arena to hear.
"You didn't mishear me, Prince Kurt!" Santana yelled back, smirking at him. "I'll allow you your wristbraces, though, if that will make you feel any more confident."
"How kind of you, my lady," Kurt said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Sometimes I wonder if Santana truly has the gift of augury, or if she's enacting some incredible scheme," he muttered to Finn, who snickered.
"I wouldn't doubt it, little brother. Now, arms up!" he commanded, lifting Kurt's shirt over his head when he complied. "Gods be with you, Kurt."
"I'm going to need as much assistance as I can get," Kurt said to himself when he faced the field again and saw Prince Blaine's uncovered chest. He was just as defined as Kurt had believed he was at first sight, only a light smattering of chest hair over that delicious tanned skin. "I am in far too deep."
Prince Blaine looked equally stunned as Kurt approached, for reasons Kurt couldn't fathom. He knew he was in shape, but he was nowhere near as obviously muscular as Blaine, and his skin was pale from years of working indoors at his books. Pale skin was fashionable, true, but Kurt had always felt a little too ghostly to be conventionally lauded. He must have been stunned by Santana's decree, Kurt concluded. He was shocked by her statements before.
"Begin!" Santana cried out once the men were in the center of the field again, and they quickly fell back into the rhythm of battle. Their attacks weren't quite as smooth as before, however. Kurt kept losing his focus whenever the sweat on Blaine's body glinted off his muscles in the sunlight, and Blaine faltered whenever Kurt stared him directly in the face. Neither seemed to be willing to hit the other on their unprotected skin, either – Kurt knew he couldn't bring himself to purposely mar that warm, bronzed body.
"Why are we even doing this?" Kurt asked, the words slipping out of his mouth before he could stop them. Blaine froze, looking stunned.
"Cooper told me I had to fulfill the war augury, regardless of what it might do to me," he responded, and oh, his voice was so smooth that Kurt was afraid he would slip on it. "But then I saw you, and I wasn't sure if I could do that after all."
"I felt the same way," Kurt admitted, thankful that they were talking quietly enough that none of the spectators could hear them. He thrust another half-hearted blow at Blaine to keep up appearances, which Blaine easily blocked and returned. They fell into textbook parries and blocks, neither trying to do anything rash. "Some part of me just can't bring itself to hurt you."
"I hated myself every time I cut you accidentally in the last round," Blaine admitted, making Kurt's heart skip a beat. "I wish we could have met under more auspicious tidings. I would've tried to court you within minutes of learning your name."
Kurt began to respond, but Santana interrupted as she had been doing all morning. "Another thirty minutes have passed with no victor!" she called out. "Our two combatants will now take another break while I divine another augury!"
"Enough of this!" Kurt yelled, startling the entire arena. "I refuse to fight any longer." He dropped his sword.
"I won't fight anyone who is unwilling," Blaine said just as loudly, dropping his own sword. "There's no honor in th- mmph!" He was cut off by Kurt stepping forward and seizing him in a hot kiss, almost bending Blaine over backwards with the force of it. Kurt felt Blaine freeze under him for a moment and hoped he hadn't crossed a line, but Blaine quickly regained his senses and started kissing him back with equal fervor, much to Kurt's delight.
"Marry me?" Kurt asked when they had to break for air, soft enough that only Blaine could hear. "There's more than one way to end this war, and this one would be infinitely more pleasant."
"I would be delighted," Blaine said, smiling beatifically. Kurt leaned in for another kiss at that, veins buzzing with happiness. They kissed for what felt like days, ignoring the confused rumblings of the crowd, until Santana stepped up next to them and made another remark.
"The war augury is never wrong," she said with pride, smiling knowingly at the two boys.
"The war augury predicted us falling in love at first sight?" Kurt asked, flabbergasted. Next to him, Blaine's jaw had dropped open.
"I dabble in match-making, too, what can I say?" Santana said, looking smug. "Now you two can unite your kingdoms in matrimony, thus ending the strife over this godsforsaken patch of land forever."
Kurt and Blaine simply stared at each other, stunned, until the tiny brunette who had been with Blaine's company ran over to them. They looked so similar up close that Kurt knew she must be Blaine's sister. "Blaine!" she shrieked, almost bursting Kurt's eardrums. "What's happening? Why are you kissing your opponent?"
"We decided to end this war another way, Rachel," Blaine said patiently. This must have been a regular occurrence for him. "Kurt and I have decided to wed."
Rachel looked simultaneously amazed and ecstatic. "Blaine! That's wonderful!" she said, clapping her hands in excitement. "You couldn't take your eyes off of him when we arrived, I just knew-" Blaine clapped a hand over her mouth before she could finish that sentence.
"Rachel, please don't embarrass me in front of my newly betrothed," Blaine said quickly. "I do not wish to go down in history as the prince who got both betrothed and abandoned on the same day."
"I would never do that," Kurt said, full of passion. "Not to someone as handsome as you, at least." Kurt leaned in for yet another kiss (he was getting slightly addicted, to tell the truth), but a hand on his shoulder stopped him and spun him around.
"You would manage to find your true love on the battlefield, little brother," Finn said, sounding both proud and incredulous. He leaned in for a hug, whispering in Kurt's ear "Introduce me to the lady!" mid-embrace.
"Princess Rachel, may I introduce my stepbrother, Sir Finn Hudson?" Kurt said politely when Finn released him, hoping this favor would get Finn to go easier on him in training for a while. His brother didn't know his own strength sometimes, and Kurt was tired of finding new bruises all over his skin after practicing.
"Delighted," she said, batting her big brown eyes at Finn, who nearly swooned at the sight.
"May I escort you back to your tent?" Finn asked, offering his arm to Rachel, who accepted gladly. "Our brothers may be occupied for a time." They set off, easily chattering back and forth. Kurt smiled at their backs, noting an identical grin on Blaine's face out of the corner of his eye.
"Now that our relations are gone..." Kurt began with a lascivious smile. Blaine caught on easily and leaned in for another kiss, wrapping his arms tightly around Kurt's waist as Kurt wrapped his own around Blaine's shoulders. Santana let them continue for a few moments before coughing somewhat discreetly and putting an arm around each of their shoulders once they broke apart.
"That's enough, pretty princes. You need to go tell your respective kings how you've settled this conflict."
"I don't want to part from you," Kurt admitted, instinctively knowing that Blaine would not judge him for such a remark.
"Nor I from you," Blaine said simply, his eyes conveying the sincerity of his statement. "What if we make our camp here and request our lieges to come to us instead? That would give us time to prepare speeches and also begin to plan our nuptials."
"You sound exceedingly confident that they are going to approve of this plan," Kurt said coyly, unafraid that his father would oppose his choice of fiance. King Burt had always promised Kurt that he could marry for love, and would probably be pleased that Kurt's love was so conveniently stationed in life.
"I've been looking for you forever, Kurt," Blaine said. "Cooper would not dare stand in the way of true love, foolish as he can be at times."
"I knew you couldn't have hoarded all the brains in your family," Kurt said with a laugh.
"I can see you hoarded all the good looks in yours," Blaine said flirtatiously.
"Flattery will get you everywhere, my love."
"I was hoping that would be so. Shall we make camp, my darling?" Blaine asked, proffering his arm to Kurt.
"Lead the way, sweetling," Kurt said, linking his arm in Blaine's and losing himself in daydreams of their future, trusting Blaine to get them safely to their tent.