"Are you lost?" Fred turned to see a friendly-looking woman.
"Yeah, as a matter of fact I think I am." He said, pulling out his most charming smile. Muggle or not, the woman was attractive.
"Well, where are you trying to go?" she asked.
"Um…some joke shop a friend told me about. Something on… Victoria Street?" he said hopefully. The woman laughed,
"I work there! Actually, we closed about four hours ago."
"Bugger!" said Fred. Anything he could do to drum up this woman's sympathies was fair game.
"I'm sorry. Listen, though, I was just going to get a coffee. Do you want to tag along?" She had a soft smile, a little hopeful. Fred grinned,
"Yeah, that'd be great." They walked a bit. Fred turned to her and held out his hand,
"Fred Weasley." He said. She shook his hand,
"Scarlett Lee."
"So Scarlett, shall we pass this walk in awkward silence, or shall we dare to speak?" asked Fred. Scarlett laughed,
"Hm…let's pretend we know each other…"
"Mhm…"
"Continue walking in silence…"
"Alright…"
"And then the next person we see, we start passionately arguing in front of. After all, it is three o'clock in the morning. I'm sure by the time we find another living soul, we'll have found something to argue about." She said. Fred nodded,
"'Tis a good plan. However, I have one condition. After we have begun our argument, and at about the time normally one of us would storm off, I kiss you. Passionately." he said. Scarlett laughed,
"Well if at such a time you still find me kissable, I believe that could be the perfect touch."
"Very well. So now we fall into silence?"
"Indeed." Said Scarlett, smiling. The two walked along, her arm tucked into his. Both looked in opposite directions, barely catching each other's eye for fear of bursting out laughing. After almost fifteen minutes, they spotted a silhouette by the river. Scarlett turned to him, eyes sparkling with humor. But then she pushed him away and shouted,
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"Nothing, I—"
"NO, I MOST DEFINITELY HEARD SOMETHING, MISTER. YOU THINK THAT, THAT TRAMP, IS ATTRACTIVE?" she shouted.
"AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I'D TRADE THAT TRAMP FOR YOU ANY NIGHT OF THE WEEK!" He shouted. Scarlett gasped,
"YOU WOULDN'T DARE! I KNOW ALL YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS, YOUNG MAN, AND I HAVE NO PROBLEM INFORMING YOU MOTHER!" Jesus, she doesn't pull punches, he thought.
"YOU GO AHEAD AND DO THAT! I WON'T CARE ONE BIT! THERE'S NOTHING MORE YOU CAN DO TO HURT ME!"
"OH REALLY? I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD BE HURT, YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!" And just then, Scarlett turned to stalk off. Her heels clicked once against the pavement before Fred grabbed her arm, twirled her to his body, and passionately crushed his lips to hers. It was a firework, no matter how imagined the argument. It still had the flare of a make-up kiss. Scarlett pulled back a dreamy look in her eye. Then she slapped his face.
Fred stumbled back, holding a hand to his cheek. He and Scarlett could only look at each other for a moment before dissolving into laughter. She fell to the ground, giggling happily as he crawled over and lay down beside her. She laughed,
"Oh my God, that was so much fun."
"It was." He said. Scarlett rolled onto her side and propped herself up on an elbow to look down at him. The giggles soon dissolved until they were merely looking at each other. Scarlett smiled.
"I never thought I'd be doing this." She said.
"What?"
"Lying in the middle of the sidewalk, with a man I don't know, at three o'clock in the morning, after we just pulled something like that." She said, gesturing to their surroundings. Fred gave her a devilish grin,
"Well, you could get to know me." Scarlett laughed and pushed him,
"Oh no. I refuse to get to know people until they buy me coffee."
"Well let's get some coffee then!" He stood up and helped Scarlett up. They linked arms again and walked off, smiling.
Fred held the door for her as they walked into the all-night café. They sat down and a waitress with dark circles under her eyes walked up to them.
"What can I get you?"
"Two coffees, please."
"Comin' right up." The waitress left and Fred smiled at Scarlett.
"So, how should we go about getting to know each other?"
"Well, you could tell me more about your family." She said, leaning in. Fred nodded,
"Very well. I have five brothers and one sister. All of them have the same crazy hair as me and we're all prone to fairly explosive tempers."
"Wow. I'm an only child and I'm adopted, so I look nothing like my parents. And somehow I really can't see you having an 'explosive temper'."
"Oh it's there. Clearly you haven't seen a family fight at my house. I'm surprised everyone in the UK doesn't hear us." He said. Scarlett laughed. Fred frowned and continued, "Actually, we had a fight not too long ago. My prat brother was an idiot and he and Dad went at it pretty bad. None of us are speaking to him right now." The happiness went out of his eyes just a bit. Scarlett rubbed his hand,
"As a great character once said, 'When the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.'"
"What?" asked Fred. Scarlett smiled,
"Maybe the…excommunication of one brother will bring you closer to your other siblings." She said. Fred shrugged,
"Maybe. Or maybe this is a sign that he's a prat and shouldn't be accepted into my family. He'll deserve whatever he gets." Said Fred, sipping from the coffee that had appeared and setting the mug down with a little extra force. Scarlett shook her head and slapped Fred across the face. Again. He pulled back and shouted,
"Bloody hell, woman! What was that for?"
"You're the one being a prat now, Frederick Weasley. You have family, so you better start to value it. Like him or not, he's your brother and you owe him a certain amount of loyalty."
"But he's willing to spy on his own family for his own advancement!"
"And wouldn't you? Just because he's being an idiot doesn't mean you have to be! Don't whine about how he's ambitious. He might be going about advancement the wrong way, but at least he's going after it. You could have some deadbeat brother where all he did was lie around the house and crack dumb jokes!" shouted Scarlett. There were tiny tears in her eyes. Fred leaned back, stunned. 'Deadbeat brother, cracking dumb jokes…' She'd described him and George almost to a T. But even as he was shocked at her words, he saw her wiping away tears with her cardigan. Fred pushed away his own hurt and gently put a hand on her shoulder,
"Are you alright?"
"Of course I am. Family's just a touch subject, that's all." Said Scarlett, her voice a bit thick.
"Want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Okay." Said Fred. Scarlett laughed and the tears completely disappeared. She sighed and put her head in her hand,
"So what do you do for a living?" she asked. Fred stretched and put his hands behind his head,
"You know, lie around the house and crack dumb jokes." He said. Scarlett's eyes widened,
"Oh God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, I swear."
"It's alright. I'm actually working with one of my brothers. We're trying to put together one of our own joke shops."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Right now it's just whatever we can cook up in our bedroom, but we're hoping to move on to bigger stuff."
"What are you working on now?" Fred deliberated for a moment. Could he really reveal their latest product? He decided to take the risk. After all, she was a Muggle. It wasn't like she would be able to duplicate it. He pulled out a two-colored sweet from his pocket.
"See this? Ordinary candy, right?"
"Right…?"
"Wrong." Fred broke off the orange end and swallowed it. Moments later, he was vomiting into a bucket he had surreptitiously magicked beneath the table. Scarlett jumped back, shouting. Between expulsions, Fred managed to shove the purple end down his throat, and instantly stopped vomiting. The bucket went back beneath the table as he grinned at Scarlett.
"See? Makes you just sick enough to get out of class, but it's easily remedied so you can spend that hour doing whatever you want!" he said. Scarlett laughed and clapped her hands,
"It's brilliant! Why no one came up with this before I've no idea. How'd you do it?"
"Ah ah. A magician never reveals his tricks." Said Fred, pretending to sweep off a hat and bow. Scarlett laughed,
"Fine, keep your secrets." Just then, Fred's stomach grumbled.
"Well, that's one secret I won't be keeping. Care for some breakfast?"
"I'd love it." The two got up and left, leaving money on the table. Scarlett led Fred back to her apartment. They walked up the stairs and she let him in.
Her living room was pretty enough. A little messy, but Fred and Scarlett both liked it that way. She led him through to the kitchen and began hunting through the fridge and cupboards,
"Well, I'm afraid all I have is cereal. Captain Crunch or Froot Loops?"
"What?" asked Fred blankly. Scarlett's eyes bugged,
"You haven't heard of them before?"
"No. What are they?"
"Only the sugariest cereals to ever hit the market! You're trying both." And Scarlett grabbed two bowl, pouring just Captain Crunch in one and both in the other. Pouring milk over both, she handed him a spoon,
"Eat. Enjoy. You'll thank me later." Fred warily took the spoon and tentatively brought a spoonful of cereal to his lips. Scarlett nodded enthusiastically. He put in his mouth and pulled out the spoon. The taste enveloped his mouth. The sugariness, the fruit and the overall deliciousness of the two combined. Fred had never before tasted something so delicious. Scarlett laughed at his face,
"I told you! Isn't it amazing?" Fred responded by digging into the cereal. Scarlett ate her cereal with a bit more decorum as she watched Fred basically make a mess and eat a bit of cereal. After his bowl was gone, he pushed it back to her,
"Can I ask for seconds?"
"You may, but make it yourself. You might want to try just one or the other." Fred nodded and pulled over the Captain Crunch. He poured it into the bowl, piling it on until it was practically falling out. Scarlett laughed,
"That's not how you do it! Here," she removed cereal by the handful, "you have to leave room for milk. There, now pour the milk in, but not too much." Fred lifted the carton and slowly poured it in. Scarlett nodded and pulled it up when the bowl was full. Fred smiled happily and dunked his spoon back in. Scarlett shook her head and laughed,
"Never again will your life be the same. Captain Crunch changes everything." Fred looked up at her and had one of his rare romantic moments as he said,
"Perhaps it wasn't the captain who changed it." Scarlett looked into his eyes and their lips slowly met. Fred wrapped a hand around the back of her neck, pulling her deeper into the kiss. Scarlett happily let him. She joined her hand behind his neck and kissed him deeply. The two pulled back after a bit for a breath and she smiled,
"Fred Weasley, this is without a doubt the best time we ever could have done this."
"And why is that?" he asked. Scarlett's eyes were sparkling with mischief as she deadpanned,
"Because I just decided I'm a lesbian." Fred's eyes almost popped out of his skull.
"You—you… what?"
"I'm a lesbian. My girlfriend and I just broke up. And I thank you, sir, for being my rebound." Fred still couldn't believe his ears. Scarlett took his hand in hers. Fred stared down at it. She smiled, "Does it really bug you that much?" Fred thought, then shrugged,
"Not really. I've heard stranger things." Scarlett laughed. The two walked out onto her porch, dangled their feet off the ledge, and watched the sun rise.