Inner Flame

Author Note: This is part of the "Fire is Catching" drabble tag ;)

All I can see tonight is his face.

The nightmares always dance in my dreams, ripping away any happiness sleep should bring and haunting me. All of the faces, all of the names, all of the pain is what I relive when I close my eyes. Sometimes it's all the faces of those who died, sometimes it's just a few.

Tonight it's one.

He made me the Girl on Fire. He was kind; he wasn't like the rest of the Capiol people. I was the reason his people died; maybe I killed his own family.

I'm the reason he died.

"You didn't deserve it..." I am speaking to him in this dream, his ghostly figure in front of me. He gives a serene smile, and I see his angel wings that frame his body and face perfectly.

Even in death he is beautiful.

"I died for a good cause," he reaches out, stroking a stray piece of hair to fall back behind me with my usual braid, "I'm proud of you, Girl on Fire."

"You're the reason," tears prick my eyes.

I am not strong; he just made me seem that way.

"You always had a flame deep within you. I saw that when you saved your sister's life," he touches the side of my face, then brings it down to touch my gut.

"But she died anyway..." her face flashes in my eyes, and I grasp his hand, "because of me. And you're dead. Because of me."

"I always knew it was my fate," he wraps one arm around me, bringing me close and cradling me within his body, his wings wrapping around the two of us in a warm, soft blanket, "always. And I couldn't be more proud that I died because I helped you."

I begin to cry; I am not strong, I am broken.

"You are beautiful. You have fire in your heart," when I looked into his brillant eyes, so full of honestly and kindness, I realize our hearts are both on fire, are both connected.

Then I wake up.

"Cinna?" I whisper hoarsely, leaving Peeta's arms and walking to the window, "Cinna, where are you?"

My whisper is carried in the wind as tears splatter my cheeks. Rubbing my eyes tiredly, I am about to go back to bed when I realize he is still somewhere. If anywhere, he is still burning bright, deep within my soul.

I have to go find a new purpose. One that will make him proud of me, one that he would've wanted him.

I run into the night, well before the sun will rise. In the morning light, Peeta will find a note that promises I will be back soon. My kids will play on and hug me soon enough, but later. How much later, I'm not sure.

But I'm not coming back until I've found him.

Cinna, I think as the stars begin to fade, my inner flame he truly gave me setting on fire, I'm coming.