Stalag 13 seemed like your ordinary POW camp in Nazi Germany. There were prisoners from several nations inside the camp. The POWs worked, slept, ate, and lived as normally as they could as prisoners, and the guards kept them at bay.

Well, at least they tried to...

Stalag 13 was not your ordinary camp actually. The prisoners made sure of that by running a massive espionage and sabotage operation from their compromising position. With the genius of their leader, American Captain Ruby Rose, they were able to pull of ridiculously complex schemes. This is just one of many of their stories.

"Get up!" The sound of Oberst Cardin Winchester rang through the female barracks in accented English. Born to an English father and a German mother, both of whom had died in a train accident some years ago, the 38-year-old was the commander of the camp. "Eat and get to work!"

A redheaded girl stretched her arms and got up, yawning. She was Captain Ruby Rose. 26 years old, she had scored at the top of her class at West Point before the war. She turned to her right side and shook the bed next to her, saying, "Staff Sergeant Long, get up."

The 28-year-old Yang Xiao Long yawned and said, "Ughhhh... I'll get up, ma'am." She tiredly got up and began to dress herself. In the sweltering summer heat, the POWs had taken their clothes off when they went to sleep.

At 6:00, all the POWs in the camp lined up, male and female. Unteroffizier Weiss Schnee, the 29-year-old sergeant-of-the-guard of the camp, said in German, "I will now have the guards inspect all of you for any sort of contraband in your clothes. The female prisoners will be inspected by female guards, and the male prisoners will be inspected by male guards. Anyone caught with contraband will be sent to solitary confinement for a later-to-be-determined amount of time."

At 6:15, inspection was over. Nobody was caught with anything.

This, of course, didn't mean nobody had anything.

Today, a VIP was going to be visiting the camp at 7 at night. As the inspection went on, Weiss briefed the prisoners, in English this time, about who the VIP was. He was a high-ranking SS officer by the name of Adolf Reinhardt.

Once the inspection was over, Cardin began counting the prisoners that were lined up. "One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven... Eight... Nine... Ten... Eleven..."

Suddenly, the 12th person fainted, and Cardin and the other prisoners caught him. Weiss said, "Get that man some water to help him. I don't want a POW that's out cold."

Unbeknownst to the Nazis, it was all a distraction. As the chaotic scene occurred, Ruby ran from the lines, hid behind several buildings, and kneeled down to a fence. She then slid under the two layers of fencing, and ran outside the camp, carrying a package.

"Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen..."

Corporal Blake Belladonna, an Italian-American POW, said, "Winchester, you may wanna pick up your hat. You don't want a cold, do you?"

"Ugh..." Cardin, annoyed at Blake, looked for his helmet off the ground. Then, several of the prisoners passed it amongst themselves before Soldat 1e classe Jaune Arc, a French POW who had ben captured during the fall of France in 1940, passed Cardin's helmet to him, saying in French, "Here you go, Colonel."

By now, Cardin was very fed up with the prisoners. In his annoyance, he forgot to realise Ruby was outside of the camp. By now, she was in a forest. She then felt her leg hit something before she tripped and fell to the ground.

"Watch it!" A Greek voice rang from a hole in the ground that had been dug earlier.

"You're here," Ruby replied. "Welcome to Stalag 13, Pyrrha Nikos."

"Why did you lead me here?" Pyrrha spoke good English, but heavily accented. "Was I not supposed to BREAK OUT OF a camp and not into another one?"

"We need ya here, Nikos." Ruby gave her the package. "We're running a huge sabotage ring inside, and we could use some extra hands. I got 2 more POWs on the way, actually."

Back at the camp, Cardin continued counting. "Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Twenty-O-... Shit, we're missing someone..." He then turned to Yang. "Staff Sergeant, can you tell me why there's an empty spot here?"

Weiss said, "Let me guess, you gave my commander a distraction, and like the idiot he can be, he took it, allowing one of your birds to fly."

"Hey! I'm not an idiot!"

"You're smart most of the time, Oberst." Weiss whispered to Yang, "Not really." She then spoke up again. "Anyways, you know that Stalag 13 has an impeccable escape record of zero successful attempts. I wouldn't want that record being tarnished." She then yelled to the guards, "Sound the sirens and send out the dogs."

Ruby heard the siren and said, "My role is over. You need to be captured by the guards to be let in. Good luck."

"Hey wait up," Pyrrha said. "Ruby, wait!" As Ruby ignored her, Pyrrha said in Greek, "I knew this was a bad idea from the fucking start!" She then put her hands up as she awaited the guards.

Later that day, towards the end of the workday, the prisoners met with Pyrrha. Ruby said, "Alright, so the team consists of me, Yang Xiao Long, Jaune Arc, Blake Belladonna, Nora Valkyrie, Sun Wukong, Neptune Vasilias, and Fox Alistair. Our job is to conduct sabotage, espionage, and covert escapes from Stalag 13. We have our ways of making these objectives work. We're gonna sneak a girl out tonight and we're gonna use an incoming escapee from another camp take her place. The camp we're getting the replacement is a lot stricter from what I've heard. The replacement isn't even a POW."

"Odd," Pyrrha replied. "Who is she?"

"Velvet Scarlatina," Ruby replied. "An Italian prisoner from some camp south of us. She can't speak English, only Italian and Yiddish."

Pyrrha shuddered when she heard that, "Yiddish? I think that's the reason why she was locked up."

Blake, confused, asked, "Huh? Why?"

"You know, 'cause she's a Jew if she speaks Yiddish. Didn't Adolf say bad things about them?"

Ruby brushed it off, saying, "Meh, he says crap about everyone that isn't him. I mean, I've heard that they require Jews to have documentation and special markings, but I ain't heard nothing about them imprisoning Jews just for being Jews yet."

Then, Sun ran in. The grandson of Chinese immigrants, his dad had fought in the First World War. "We got the new POW, right?"

"Yep," Ruby replied. "That reminds me, Corporal. Spread the news around that the baseball game will be tomorrow instead of today due to time constraints."

Yang, disappointed, said, "Awww man. I was gonna be the pitcher."

"You will be tomorrow, Staff Sergeant." Ruby then turned to Pyrrha. "Come on, sit down and relax, Nikos. Say, what was your rank in the Royal Greek Army?"

"Second Lieutenant," the red-haired Greek replied. "The lowest officer rank."

"Welcome to the team, Second Lieutenant Pyrrha Nikos." Ruby then shook her hand. Pyrrha saluted Ruby in response. "Now, you see, your first mission will be to go outside for a few days and meet up with members of the Belgian Resistance. Stalag 13 is only about 10 miles from Belgium. The second girl coming in will temporarily fill your spot."

"Wait," Pyrrha replied. "What? They'll notice the difference."

"Only the female barracks guard will. And if he reports anyone missing, he and a few other guys and girls get a one-way ticket to the Eastern Front to fight the Soviet Union, so he will be very afraid to report it."

Then, Jaune ran in, saying, "Colonel, Cardin wants to speak with you in his office about the inspection thing. He's pissed."

Ruby sighed and said, "Okay, I'll do it."

About 40 minutes later, Ruby zipped her pants up and hastily put her shirt and coat back on. Next to her was an office worker named Hanschen whom Ruby had a complicated relationship with. She basically used Hanschen to collect information, provide access to papers and equipment, and show indifference towards her group's suspicious contact in exchange for sex, so long as Hanschen provided condoms.

"Great as always," Ruby said in German, which she had picked up at the camp. "You know, we should do that more often than when I need something from you."

"Agreed," Hanschen replied. A 21-year-old Obersoldat with a background in accounting and bookkeeping, he was very indifferent to the whole cause of Nazism, and the only reason he was in the Wehrmacht in the first place was to avoid his father, who was abusive. "Bring it up any time, and I can make arrangements."

Then, they heard Cardin knock on the door. Ruby and Hanschen quickly got seated and awaited Cardin as he opened the door and said, "Welcome, Captain Rose. Sorry I was super late. I was helping to prepare for that SS officer coming here. Now, you expect me to be angry about that escape thing earlier." Cardin then sat down in an office seat next to Ruby.

"Kinda."

"Well, I have every right to be angry. I have also decided to do a few updates to camp rules. From now on, for every escape attempt, everyone in the camp will be punished."

"That's a shocker," Ruby replied.

"Was that a smart-ass comment, Captain?"

"Well, your leniency is well-known, Colonel Winchester."

"Well not anymore. I'm gonna solidify my image as a tough commander, especially with that SS-Oberführer visiting the camp in 2 hours. I want there to be no trouble while he's here. Got it? Remember, nobody escapes from Stalag 13. NOBODY. ESCAPES. FROM. STALAG. 13. So why do you do it?"

"Well think of it this way." Ruby stood up. "Imagine all the budget cuts this place would get if we all just gave up? You'd be transferred to the Eastern Front, and this place would lose like half of its personnel. You wouldn't want that now, would you?"

Cardin was silent for a few seconds. Then, he said, "Well played, Captain... Well, I gotta go make preparations for SS-Oberführer Reinhardt. Remember, no trouble."

"You have my word, Colonel." Ruby then waved him goodbye as he walked out and closed the door. "Not."