To Love a Lion

Chapter One

Ok it wasn't as though he had asked for any of this, in fact if he was brutally honest it was the worst moment in his entire life. He just continued to stare at Goyle as if he had gone totally bonkers

Ok so he had changed over the summer, there was no denying that. His once podgy shabby friend had shaped up quite nicely. Gone was his flabby build and in its place there was a taller muscular frame and a face that wasn't too bad to look at.

"You want to run that by me again" he said praying to any god that would listen that he had misheard.

"Hermione Granger and I are engaged" Goyle said his now handsome face lit up with pure pleasure. A look of love was etched across his features plainly enough for anyone to see, it made him want to vomit.

"But she's a mudblood" he ground out and received a stern look from his friend.

"That's my future wife you're talking about, so if I was you I would address her with a little more respect Draco."

Draco Malfoy for the first time in his life was stumped he really didn't know what to say. How he was supposed to react? But above all else he was flabbergasted at the other news that Goyle decided to spring on him.

"You have to treat Harry with courtesy as well Draco, I don't want anything to ruin our wedding."

Draco tried not to wince at the mention of his former lover but damn it it was hard. What did Goyle expect from him a warm smile and an admission that of course he'd he friendly with Potter.

Hardly.

"Couldn't I just skip it Goyle? You know send you a congratulatory present…I'll even pay for your honeymoon" he said his voice taking on a note of desperation

"Look Draco I know that you and Harry have had a bad past and I respect that this is going to be hard on you. The thing is…I want you to be my best man" Goyle replied, a slight hint of annoyance lacing his voice.

Draco was touched that Goyle would feel like that, he hadn't exactly treated him with respect back at Hogwarts.

But seeing Harry again especially after all this time. He didn't know if he could stand being in the same room as him without resorting to hauling him in his arms and kissing him senseless.

This was a bad thing since it had been Draco himself who had ended their brief but passionate relationship.

"I guess I have no choice then do I" Draco finally conceded admitting defeat. There was no way he would be able to dissuade Goyle, it seemed that with his new look came a new aspect of his personality and with that a stubbornness that Draco almost admired.

Even if he did want to kill him for it.

"Thank you Draco. I must go now since I have to take my future wife ring shopping" and with that said Goyle embraced Draco in a bone crushing hug and promptly left the room.

Stood in the middle of his plush office Draco Malfoy stared at the now closed door, swamped with memories he had repressed for so long.

"Why me" he sighed and sank into his chair and almost giving in to the temptation to bang his head on his desk. Looking to his right his gaze landed on the picture of his younger self and Harry Potter, it was taken two months into their relationship when things had been perfect.

But then when it had all became too serious for Draco he had called it quits. He'd ended up breaking his own heart in the process as well as that of his ex.

He'd loved Harry Potter, but he'd never told him. He'd been too afraid of giving someone power over him, and he knew that Harry had had an extraordinary amount of power over him. He'd have fought Voldemort wandless if Harry had asked it of him.

So it had had to end.

He still remembered the crushed look on Harry's face. The tears that glistened in his eyes and slid unashamedly down his cheeks and the small sob that had escaped from his lips and shook his frame.

Draco shook his head. He couldn't think of that now it had been far too long since he had wallowed in his memories, even if he did think of Potter even briefly near enough every day.

Sighing he turned to his screen and began hammering on the keys. He needed something to take his mind off the past and work it seemed provided him with such a distraction.

His thoughts shifted to his friends and the happiness they had found. Blaise and Pansy who hadn't been able to hold a civil conversation in Hogwarts had been blissfully married for four years, now they were expecting their second child.

Ronald Weasley who he had struck up the most unlikely friendship with during the tri-county Quiditch festival two years ago was engaged to Luna, the pair were inseparable and also expecting their first child.

Gregory Goyle engaged to Hermione Granger to be married in less than three weeks. Probably most unlikely couple Draco could imagine but deep down he hoped that they lasted, Greg deserved some happiness and surprisingly he imagined that Hermione would make him very happy indeed.

Vincent Crabbe was living with his current girlfriend, a muggle opera singer named Louise (he wouldn't be surprised if another engagement announcement came out soon).

Then there was Harry Potter, the man who Draco had once called his own so many years ago. The man he would have given everything up for before his stupid preconceived ideals had gotten in the way. Now he was married to beautiful woman named Alexis.

Draco was well aware that their marriage was a sham; a certain Mr Weasley had given him inside information.

But he'd seen the pictures in the papers; the happiness the couple radiated through the moving images and had been so angry he could have burned them.

But then he'd given up his right to such thoughts long ago.

Seven years.

That's how long it had been since his brief fling with Potter. Seven long lonely years were he was vastly becoming the confirmed bachelor everyone had always said he was destined to be.

But Draco wanted only the best. He was a Malfoy after all so he would not settle for anything less.

But deep down he knew that he'd given the best up a long time ago. That was why he would never lose his single status because there was only one person in this world that he wanted to be with.

Harry Potter.

"Are you ok Harry?" Harry looked up into cool grey eyes and smiled. she was so in tune with his thoughts, always showing her concern or trying to pull him from his downtrodden moods…the perfect best friend.

A pity she was his wife.

He mentally slapped himself. He owed a lot to Alexis, she had helped him so much during his time of need, when he had thought that his world was broken and would never piece back together.

But he hated having trapped her like this.

A marriage with no intimacy was no marriage at all. Although he had not denied her the right to take a lover she had stayed faithful to her wedding vows and to him.

He didn't deserve such devotion.

Looking at them you would think they were the perfect couple. Each one complimenting the other perfectly, Harry so dark and mysterious Alexis so pale and alluring.

But Harry knew that she could sense unhappiness within him.

"I'm fine just a bit strained with all the work I've had to do. Since the arrest of Fudge I've been weighed down with so much in the ministry" he sighed hating the fact that he was lying to her. He wanted to tell her what was on his mind, but it was the same old story and he didn't want her to tire of his babblings.

She clasped his hand and took his excuse without comment, but he could see in her eyes she knew he was covering up what was really bothering him.

"Is it Draco?" she asked tentatively and he winced. it was so like her to hit the nail on the head, sometimes he really was amazed by just how well she knew him…knew how to read him.

"Are you worried about seeing him at Hermione's and Gregory's wedding?" she added and he closed his eyes briefly so she would not see the flash of pain in them. However the light squeeze on his hand suggested that she was aware of it.

"It's just that it's been so long. You'd think by now that I'd be over him but I'm not" he said so quietly it was barely audible.

"Oh Harry your reminded of him everyday. I am aware to the fact that you agreed to our marriage because I remind you of him" she said but there was no judgement or anger in her tone, only acceptance and understanding.

She was right of course she did remind him a great deal of Draco Malfoy. She had cool grey eyes like his that could warm to the colour of mercury, and although they did not hold Draco's brilliance the similarity was there. She was graceful like Draco and from a well-defined family, she moved with such poise similar to the blonde ex Slytherin and she even had the same colour hair.

But she was all feminine whereas you could never doubt Draco's masculinity. The sheer strength of the man's build was something that even Adonis himself would envy.

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly.

She once again squeezed his hand reassuringly, her face lighting up into a brilliant smile. He wondered how she could be so understanding and complacent when she knew that he could never give her a love like she deserved.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Harry; we both came into this marriage with our eyes wide open. I know your reasons for it just as you know mine" she said the last part with a slight shudder that noticeably shook her small frame.

Alexis had once been due to be married to a man of her fathers choosing. He had been ten years her senior and the most revolting man Harry had ever met.

But when he had tried to force himself on her Harry had been unable to stand by any longer. He'd served a brief sentence in a small isolated wizard's prison for assault.

When Alexis's parents had asked what gave him the right it had been Alexis who had fed them the story of their engagement. Since then the lie had stuck right up until the golden wedding bands had been pushed on their fingers with the promise to cherish each other till death do them part.

Only their closest friends knew of their reasons for their 'marriage' but they had all been accepting of it. Over the years Harry and Alexis had gone on to build a friendship stronger than anyone could have possibly thought possible given the situation they were in.

"I'll be there with you, we'll get through it together" she said reassuringly but Harry was not too convinced. Something in his mind told him that Draco wasn't best pleased with his and Alexis's marriage.

Little did he know how very right he was.

"Draco I trust you've heard Gregory's good news" Pansy Zabini said lightly. She looked stunning with her flaxen hair pulled away from her now strikingly matured face in an elegant French plait.

Draco merely grunted, he was in no mood for formalities having had the most trying day of his life. He loved Pansy dearly but she had an annoying habit of sticking her nose in where it didn't belong, and given her pregnant status Draco couldn't retaliate too harshly for fear of her hormones.

"You don't seem too impressed Drake" she said using her pet name for him. Most times it made him smile or laugh but now it only served to irritate him more.

"Is there any reason I should be" he replied stiltedly.

"I suppose this has something to do with a certain green-eyed ex Gryffindor who shall remain anonymous cough Harry cough Potter" she mused her dark eyes dancing with mirth.

"Oh very funny Pansy but if you'd like to cut the crap I'm not in the mood at all" he said harshly regretting his tone instantly when she winced at it. Ah the hormones were getting ready to come out to play; he really did need to tread more carefully.

"You know Draco you really do need to sort yourself out" she snapped back her face flushed and her posture defensive.

He sighed and raked his hand through his uncharacteristically unruly hair, god he was letting this whole situation get out of hand. He was a Malfoy for god sake, he should have been better than this at maintaining his composure.

"I know Pansy I know; it's just that I know that seeing Potter again is going to be so god damn difficult. Sometimes I wonder what the hell I let him go for in the first place" he said finishing on a note of pure confusion.

"Look I know that what you and Harry had was special and one of a kind, but if you still feel that way then you know what you should do. Tell him because if you don't your going to regret it for the rest of your life" and with that said she stood offered him a friendly salute and exited the small coffee shop in which they had met for dinner.

Regret she had said.

That was all he had, a life times worth of regrets and what ifs. All because of his stupid Malfoy pride and damn immature values, because he had been too scared to allow another person to share the deepest part of himself.

And what had it gotten him? What had he received after ripping his own heart out and practically destroying Harry?

Nothing.

One big fat fucking load of nothing, he'd been miserable and depressed whilst all of his friends slowly settled into their happily ever afters. He had nobody to blame this on but himself.

So here he sat contemplating Pansy's words while staring broodingly into his cup of rapidly growing cold coffee with a scowl etched on his handsome face.

Regret.

As Draco finally drained the remaining contents of his cup he was faced with the harsh reality that she was right. It was the one thing he experienced daily, yet he'd never really done anything to make it go away…he'd had it since he'd told Harry that he didn't love him, had watched the love of his life shatter before his eyes.

Before long his vision blurred and the first set of tears since that fateful day threatened to fall.