Hi people! This is my first Percy Jackson and the Olympians fanfic, it's kind of humorous but you will not laugh your asses off with it.
WARNING: I KNOW I MIND SOUND LIKE I'M TOTALLY BONKERS AFTER YOU READ THIS, I JUST RANDOMLY PULLED TOGETHER SOME FUNNY IDEAS I HAD SINCE A WHILE AGO, IT'S AN ABSOLUTELY RANDOM STORY AND IT HAS NO SENSE WHATSOEVER SO IF YOU DON'T HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR/LOVE FOR PARODIES JUST SKIP OVER TO THE NEXT PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS FIC YOU MIGHT FIND AROUND. OH AND THIS IDEA CAME TO ME WHILE I WAS WATCHING A MOVIE ON THE TV AND SUDDENLY I SAW A GILETTE AD AND WENT LIKE: "OH I SHOULD WRITE A PERCY JACKSON FIC ABOUT HIM SHAVING CHIRON'S TAIL!" I KNOW, BUT IT'S RANDOM THINKING FOR A RANDOM STORY...SO...MEH I GUESS THAT'S ALL FOR A WARNING, AGAIN IF YOU DON'T LIKE PARODIES OR JUST HATE GILETTE OR SHAVERS OR ME JUST DON'T READ IT BECAUSE YOU MIGHT GO BONKERS AFTER IT. GEE, THAT ONE WAS A LONG WARNING...
Title: Chiron's Tail.
Summary: Percy tries to shave Chiron's tail and so he steals Grover's shaver and ends up in a TV ad with Nico's help. And it all started with an April's Fools prank...
Characters: Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Grover Underwood, Chiron, Thalia Grace, Nico di Angelo.
Percy was sitting in his cabin's bunk bed, getting bored to death. He glanced at the room floor, where he found an empty Coke bottle. He stood up, grabbed it and started singing South Park's Kyle's Mom song.
"On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch, on Wensday though Saturday she's a bitch, then on Sunday just to be different she's a super king kamehameha bitch!"
He grabbed a green hat and his orange jacket, and started yelling, "LOOK PEOPLE I'M KYLE AND MY MOM'S A BITCH!"
Just after that, he heard someone knocking his door, and so he cocked his head and went to open the door. There, he found his girlfriend Annabeth furrowing her brow in front of him.
"What were you singing?" she asked.
"Hum...La Cucaracha?" Percy lied, tossing the green hat away.
Annabeth smiled, "Really? I love La Cucaracha! Come on, let's sing together! CONGA!"
She started dancing through the camp grounds, and so Percy placed his hands on her waist and danced behind her.
"What are you guys doing?" Thalia asked.
"It seems fun!" Nico cried, tagging along.
"I want to sing La Cucaracha too!" Clarissa yelled.
"Ooh! Conga!" The Hermes twins exclaimed.
Soon enough, the whole camp had joined Annabeth and Percy in their conga, al singing La Cucaracha. As they approached the Big House, they saw how Mr. D and Chiron looked up from their usual poker game. Chiron cocked his head questioningly, while Mr. D seemed amused.
"What are you children doing?" Chiron asked, rising from his wheelchair and adopting his centaur shape.
"CONGA!" Annabeth cried.
"Annabeth, it's not like you to act so crazy!" Chiron exclaimed.
In the middle of their discussion, Percy noticed Chiron's tail oscillating from side to side. He instinctively asked for a pair of scissors, but then turned to Nico and asked, "What day is it today, Nico?"
Nico checked his alarm watch, "March 31. Why?"
Percy's face turned into a devilish grin, "I think I've got the perfect April's Fools prank."
"So you're planning to steal Grover's Gilette shaver," Annabeth recalled, "sneak into the Big House in the middle of the night, Nico carrying a video cam and you carrying the shaver, and just shave off Chiron's tail? That's so insane!"
"...ly good!" Percy cried, high-fiving Nico. "Isn't it neat?"
Annabeth rolled her eyes, "Yeah, sure Seaweed Brain."
"I guess that's a yes," Nico said, shrugging his shoulders. He looked at his alarm watch, "Hey it's eleven p.m. already. Should we go get Grover's shaver?"
Percy nodded and left Annabeth in the Athena cabin's doorway, wondering what kind of punishment might Mr. D imply on them, not for shaving Chiron's tail, but for sneaking into the Big House in the middle of the night.
"Got the shaver?" Nico asked. Truth be told, the video camera was a little heavy to carry around.
"Yup," Percy answered. "Let's go over to the Big House.
Both boys started walking to the house, passing by all cabins silently.
"I hope we don't wake anyone up," Percy whispered.
"Or attract the dryads," Nico muttered.
Percy looked at his biceps, "That will be hard, Nico. I'm so hot after all."
Nico laughed, "You? Annabeth told me you were so lanky!"
Percy glared at the twelve-year-old, offended, "Shut up."
"Uh-oh, I think I just offended Percy Jackson," Nico chuckled. "May the Gods save me now."
Percy furrowed his brow and crossed his arms as he kept on walking. Once they arrived the Big House, Percy turned the shaver on and grinned mischievously, "Turn it on, Nico. We're gonna make history..."
The two boys tiptoed inside the room where Chiron slept. Weird thing he was sleeping on his four horse legs, hugging a little teddy bear in his arms.
"Aww, look," Percy whispered, pointing at the centaur, "ZOOM IN!"
As Nico started recording, Percy grabbed the shaver and started shaving the centaur's tail. He stopped from time to time, when he heard Chiron giggle, but then went on with his shaving again. Once he was finished, he took Chiron's shaved tail and shoved it through the window.
"Mission complete," he whispered to Nico, giving the boy a thumbs-up. Both of them started running away from the Big House and locked themselves inside the Poseidon cabin. "No we only need to modify it to look like an ad and then pull the baby up..."
Nico clicked his tongue, "Leave the computer editing to me. You pull the baby up."
Percy gave him a thumbs-up, "Will do." He grabbed his green hat and orange coat and started humming, "On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch..."
"Said what, Percy?" Nico asked, looking at him.
"Me? Nothing!" Percy lied, faking a roll of his eyes. "Just...thinking."
As Nico started typing something on Percy's MacBook, the other boy walked off his cabin, took a few ropes and started pulling 'the baby' up. Once he was done, almost an hour later, he looked at his work with a yet more mischievous grin in his face.
"This is going to be so good," he muttered as he went back to his cabin.
"DO YOU WANNA BE AS COOL AS A BALD HORSE?" A familiar voice asked scandalously.
Annabeth woke up all of a sudden, so quickly she hit her head against the top bunk.
"You okay Annie?" her half-brother Mark asked teasingly.
"Very well, thank you," she snapped. She kept on hearing the familiar voice, so she decided to go outside and found out who was producing the non-stop yelling. She saw many of the other campers there too, staring at a huge TV in the middle of the campgrounds. They could see a closeup of Chiron's butt, only to see Percy turning on Grover's shaver and shaving the whole tail off.
"DO YOU WANNA IMPRESS THE CHICKS WITH YOUR SUPER-SMOOTH BUTT?" Percy asked in the video.
"Hey!" Grover cried. "That's my shaver!"
Annabeth's killer glance went to Poseidon's cabin doorway. There she could see Percy and Nico chuckling and high-fiveing each other. The Athena girl went to them furiously, crying, "YOU TWO ARE SO DAMN IMMATURE! HOW COME YOU DO THIS TO POOR CHIRON?"
"It's a prank!" Percy cried cheerfully.
Just as Chiron, tail-balded, arrived to the campgrounds, both teenagers cried, "HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY TO YOU ALL!"
...So yeah, this pretty much sucks. You don't have to review saying "WTF?" or "this sucks", because I already know. I don't know what came into me when I started writing it, but whatever. I'm just gonna post it so you can crack a smile as you read it. Haha. Well, bye. If you do want a non-idiotic Percy Jackson and the Olympians fic, stay tuned to Nikki-TDI because I'm planning a brand new one!
-Nikki :)