This story is loosely based on the book, 'Inside the Mind of Gideon Rayburn' but you can see the differences, such as the fact you are told who the narrator is from the start in this story. This chapter was, as all future chapters of this story will be, co-written by ze fabulous Quidditch Is Cooler Than You. Go check out her profile.

Disclaimer: Oh no! You've found out we don't own the HP series or the Gideon Rayburn book! The shaammmeee!

Merlin Potter's hair looks hot today, says a voice inside my head. I should let you know now, I'm James Potter. Now I've been known to be egotistical, but this is ridiculous. I've never thought something like that in my life. Also, this voice sounds female, and that is something that I'm definitely not. Check my trousers if you don't believe me.

Who the hell is this mysterious voice? If I were a Muggle, I'd think I was crazy. But since I live in a world of magic and supposedly impossible things happening everyday, it's rational to want to find out whose voice I'm hearing.

Stop it Lily Evans, you do not find James Potter attractive. Oh, bugger it, yes I do. I nearly jump out of my seat when I hear the name. Lily Evans is the girl I've liked since first year, when she punched me in the face for hexing her friend. Her voice is inside my head? What guy hasn't wished to hear the thoughts of the girl he likes? Though her thoughts are confusing because she tells me daily that she hates my guts. But it's great to hear that she thinks I'm attractive.

I look at her across the common room and grin. His biceps are all so...wow. Quidditch does him good. Lily Evans is thinking about my biceps! My life is now complete! I wonder if I should ask her to marry me... She should probably meet my parents first though.

"Who should meet your parents?" Sirius asks. Damn. Did I say that out loud? Stupid uncontrollable mouth.

"Uhh... you should?" I say, trying to come up with an excuse for my irrational babbling.

Sirius gives me an odd look. "I live with you."

"Umm... I meant you should meet my sister?"

"I know her too." he says, looking concerned for my mental health.

There's a large pause where we just stare at each other. "Leave me alone, I'm going through something!" I shout, running up to my dormitory.

"I'm best friends with a nut bar!" Sirius yells to me as I leave.

I pause on the staircase. "Don't be mean to Peter." then I continue on my way up.

What the hell is Potter going through? Says Lily's voice in my head. If only you knew, my flower. But then again you'd probably castrate me. So maybe I should keep this to myself. Her melodic voice echoed through my head, Though I did get a nice view as he was leaving.... yum. Did she just say 'yum' regarding my rear-end? I think I've died and gone to heaven.

I've been thinking about him so much. Ever since the end of sixth year,when he fell down the stairs because he was trying to talk to me.

------------------Flashback in Lily's mind--------------

I was sitting in my room, working on my Transfiguration essay when I heard a familiar voice calling my name. Curious, I went to see who it was. Sure enough, I saw Potter standing there at the bottom of the stairs, wearing a white shirt which proclaimed, 'I HEART LILY'.

He grinned when he saw me and proceeded to run up the stairs. "Hey Evans." he started, rushing up. "Will you---" Potter never got to finish his sentence because he had reached the famous sixth step. The one which turned the entire staircase into a slide whenever a male tried to cross it.

Soon, his arse was in the air and his head was on the floor. He parted his legs so I could see his face, "go out with me." he finished. Lovely, I thought sarcastically, smirking. He turned red but then started to laugh at himself. Really laugh, like uncontrollably. And it was there, watching Potter on his backside, trying to ask me out and laughing at himself that I decided I might actually like him. And he's been on my mind ever since. Bloody emotions.

-------------------end of flashback----------------------

SHE LIKES ME. SHE LIKES ME. SHE. LIKES. ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was wrong, earlier. Now my life is complete. YAY! YAY! YAY!

"Prongs, are you dancing?" says someone from behind me.

I look at Moony, embarrassed. "Er, hey Remus. I'm just going through something. Ask Padfoot."

He gives me the same look that Sirius gave me earlier. "You dance like a penguin." he tells me, slowly

backing away with a frightened expression.

Do not. I dance very sexily. Though it would creep me out if Moony found my dancing sexy. I continue my supposedly penguin-like happy dancing. Then I hear the door open, so I stop my dancing and turn to see who is interrupting me this time.

"Hey Prongs, heard you were dancing like a penguin," says Padfoot, leaning against the door.

I grin uncontrollably at him, because I can't contain my happiness. "Lily likes me!" I practically squeal. I mean grunt. Because I am a very manly man. I run up to Sirius and hug him.

"So that's why you were acting so odd earlier. Congrats, mate. Great for you. One question though. How do you know?" he asks.

Darn. Didn't think of that. "Uh, call it male's intuition."I say seriously. Hehe. Siriusly. Still funny, no matter what anyone else says.

"Prongs, why are you cackling evilly?" asks Sirius.

"I'M GOING THROUGH SOMETHING!" and that's when I run. Again.

As I reach the common room again, Lily's voice says something. I better work on my Transfiguration essay, it's due tomorrow. I get to the common room as she heads up the staircase. "Lily, wait!" I call.

She turns and stares. Since when does he call me Lily? But I like hearing him say it. "What is it, Potter?" Lily asks. Her voice is even prettier when it's not in my head.

"Will you..." I start, heading up the stairs. "go--" And this is where the stairs turn into a slide. Why do I always forget those damn steps? We both fall and land in a compromising position.

"Lovely stairs, aren't they?" I say from on top of her. "As I was saying, would you like to go to Hogsmeade sometime?"

"No." says Lily immediately. In her mind she says, Why did I say that? Of course it's a yes. Oh my god. He's on top of me! This would be so much more interesting if it was on a bed... My, my. My little Lily flower has a dirty mind. Cool.

"Are you sure?" I ask. Why did she know if she wants to? And judging by her thoughts that's not the only she wants to do with me.

"Yes, I'm sure you arrogant toe-rag. Not every girl is in love with you, Potter." But I might be one of them, Lily thinks. "Now get off me!"

Because my mouth works faster than my brain, I say, "You know you enjoy this."

Lily glares at me and pushes me off. "Now if you will excuse me, Potter. I have better things to do than

talk to you. And I suggest you finish the essay Professor McGonagall gave us. It's due tomorrow."

It is? I didn't even start yet. I'll just copy Moony's tomorrow morning. "Okay.. bye Lily." I say, more confused than ever.

"That's Evans to you," she mutters. Why does he have to make a prat of himself every time? Maybe I wouldn't be so rude to him if he wasn't so... Potter. Lily thinks as she leaves.

"That's hurtful." I say, after getting up.

Lily turns and asks, "What's hurtful?"

"Nothing." I respond quickly, cursing mentally. Stupid me. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Answer me. If you're going to accuse me of doing something hurtful you have to give me a reason."

My mouth will be the death of me. "Nothing, really. I just don't have much control of what I say." And that's when I walk away and left Lily hanging for the first time.

She chases after me up the boys dormitory stairs. "C'mon, I want to know what you thought was hurtful."

It's my turn to glare. "Well we don't always get what we want, do we, Lily? Now go to bed like a good little girl."

Lily looks shocked. Blimey, even I'm shocked. I've never been that mean to Lily in my life. And I feel horrible.

Lily slaps me across the face, looking tearful. "Don't speak to me like that."

"You speak to me like that everyday, Lily. It doesn't seem to concern you. Stop expecting me to treat you nicely when you treat me like crap." Why am I so mean? I told you my mouth would be the death of me.

"I've come to realize that when it comes to you, one should have no expectations." Like how I expected you not to act like an ass when I started liking you.

"Go shag a turkey, Potter." That brings about unpleasant mental images. What a weird insult. But strangely attractive. I'm a freak. But so is she!

"I'll get right on that," I say, heading up the dormitory stairs before I can say anything else I'll regret.

When I enter the dormitory, Peter is inside. He sees my face and looks concerned. "What's wrong, Prongs?"

My eye twitches in anger and I burst out, " I'M GOING THROUGH SOMETHING, ALRIGHT?"

Wormtail looks startled. "Alright..."

I agree with Sirius. I am a nut bar.