Disclaimer: Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers Television and NBC own everything West Wing. Someone else owns Superman and Peter Pan. I own my imagination. Don't sue.
Caped Crusaders
"No way – he wears his underpants over his trousers!" exclaims Sam.
Toby stops dead outside C.J.'s office. He turns and enters.
CJ and Sam are sitting on her couch. Toby stares at them both. "Do my ears deceive me? Did I just hear two senior White House Staff argue about - "
"Underpants," Sam confirmed.
Toby nods his head is disbelief.
C.J. looks at her bearded friend. "Toby – who do you think is more valid as a superhero – Peter Pan or Superman?"
Toby shook his head, as if to clear it, and gave a rare smile. "C.J, did you just - ? Seriously, did you just ask me who was a more valid superhero?"
"Yes she did," Sam verifies.
"I say Peter Pan," C.J adds.
"Because he doesn't wear his underpants over his trousers?" Toby prompts.
C.J. nods. "Plus, he has the whole flying thing going on."
Sam interrupts. "Uh – Superman also flies."
C.J turns to Sam. "Yeah but Peter Pan doesn't need a cape in order to fly."
"Superman doesn't need a cape to fly."
"Then why does he wear one?" the Press Secretary asks.
Sam looks at her blankly.
"I'll tell you why - because it's all about image with him, 'Look at me - I have a cape, I'm a superhero!' No one likes a show-off," C.J states.
Sam purses his lips, then concedes defeat. "True, Superman's cape is just for show – it could seem a little pretentious to some people…"
From the hallway, Josh sees the crowd in C.J's office and walks in.
"Hey," Josh greets as he sits in a chair opposite C.J and Seaborn.
"But he only wears green. Who wears green all the time? You can't be a superhero in head-to-toe green," Sam argues.
C.J fills her cheeks with air and then blows the air out. "It could look kinda silly on your average superhero, but credit where it's due - the guy can pull it off."
"Who?" Josh asks.
"Peter Pan," C.J. and Sam chorus.
Lyman nods. "However, the tights are a no-no."
Toby looks at his friends with alarm, then feels a tightening behind his eyes as a headache sets in.
"Superman also wears tights - so that's really a no bonus round," points out Sam.
Josh nods in agreement. "How about this - Superman is popular with the ladies and what sex appeal has Peter Pan got? The Chubby Boys following him around would kinda cramp his style, don't you think?"
"The Lost Boys," Sam corrects.
"I thought it was Chubby boys," Lyman states.
"Lost boys," C.J substantiates.
"You're all insane," Toby clarifies.
"Alright, party-pooper," C.J says, looking at Toby. "So who would be your ideal superhero?"
Josh and Sam turn their attention to Zeigler, interested in the answer.
Toby thinks for a moment. "The President."
The others laugh.
Toby shakes his head. "Seriously. Think about it – he doesn't wear his underpants over his trousers or head-to-toe green, he doesn't have to wear a cape because he flies on Air Force One, the world is a better place with him in it and most importantly - he's non-fictional!"
The others smirk.
Toby feels uncomfortable. "He's standing behind me, isn't he?"
They all nod.
Toby turns to see Jed Bartlet standing behind him.
"Sir," he greets.
Bartlet grins. "Superhero, huh?"
Toby looks embarrassed. "How long should I expect to be ruthlessly mocked?"
"At least a month," Bartlet replies good-humouredly.
"Great," Toby mumbles, then turns and wonders off down the corridor in search of aspirin.