Title: of, or pertaining to, bitches and evil inners
Pairing: NaruHina
Because: I wanted to make all NaruHina fans smile with their awesomeness and innocence!
Warning: Slight OOC-ness of Hinata, but only because it's first person with her and her inner self is OBVIOUSLY not the same as her outer.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of these cliché's.
Dedicated to: Christina, even if she is a NaruSaku-loving bitch.
Note: Alrighty then, this is a new anthology of Naruto one-shots that are cheesy and cliché-ish and all that good stuff because we all secretly love it since it makes us feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
This cliché is so overdone, because you know, it's a cliché, but I've never seen it with NaruHina and I'd never imagine Hinata doing it, so yeah.
I've picked NaruHina because I've just been feeling so unhappy with NaruSaku lately, since like, my friend is all pro-NaruSaku and I'm all pro-NaruHina and we just had a whole battle-of-couples and this made me smile since NaruHina shall totally prevail, so ha-ha-ha stupid Christina!
Oh, and the 'ramen and kissing' thing at the end, yeah, I stole that from my other fanfiction 'Once Upon A Valentine's Day' so yeah.
Cliché #1: Getting girls away from your (but not really) man-candy by showing a PDA (public display of affection) and totally winning the guy's heart with it.
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"Go get him tiger!"
"I-I, tiger?"
"Ino, stop, you're making her blush."
"T-tiger?"
"Yes, Tiger Hinata! You're a tiger! You're fierce and out on the prowl!"
"P-Prowl?"
"Seriously, Ino, you've been reading too many of your smutty books lately."
"Hey, don't go around accusing me of having smutty books when I was the one in your room yesterday and I saw with my own two eyes–"
"I'm glad you know you have two, pig."
"Don't even go there forehead! Now, as I was saying, I saw Icha Icha Paradise!"
"I-I, that's not mine! It's Sasuke's!"
"So now you're saying that your husband reads it?"
"N-No, of course not!"
"Well, the only one needing that beautiful piece of literature is Hinata!"
"I-I–"
"Great job Ino. Now she's out cold."
"Let's strip her clothes and get Naruto over here, then he can rape her!"
"What crazy thoughts are going through your head?"
"Hm, just trying to get Hinata some action with her man. Hey, don't roll your eyes at me! We both know that she won't be getting any anytime soon."
"What happened?"
"Oh, Hinata, you're up! Now go get him!"
Today, I, Hinata Hyuuga probably made the worst decision of my life.
Today, I, Hinata Hyuuga let my friends dress me.
Today, I, Hinata Hyuuga promised my friends that I'd finally tell my long time crush my secret.
Today, I, Hinata Hyuuga am going to faint more times then I had ever in a 24-hour period.
Today, I, Hinata Hyuuga will get Naruto Uzumaki to fall in love with me – with the help of my friends, of course!
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I was walking down the street to Konoha in my rather loverly outfit – cough – that Ino and Sakura had picked out for me.
Yeah, it was nice, but it was the kind of outfit that if Neji saw me, he'd get really, really mad (have you seen those vein-thingys) and say some things like 'You were not destined to be a…whore.' And he'd get all red when he'd say it too, so it would be comical. Not that I'd ever laugh at it.
No, because I (as you all know) am a quiet, shy girl that blushes at everything, faints when near loved one or something innuendo-ish is said about loved one, and is very sensitive.
Yeah, so probably not the coolest way to live or whatever, but you've gotta love me for it?
Wow, I'm getting all OOC right now. Must stop.
"Hinata-chan!" See, this is where the fainting comes in. But not this time! Nope, I'm going to stay cool and confident in my purple kimono with my hair nicely up in its little chop-stick-thingys and not faint.
"Hello Naruto-kun."
"You're uh, looking um," oh my goodness, is he blushing? And he's doing that thing when he gets nervous, you know, sheepishly smiling and rubbing the back of his head all innocently. Oh how I could eat him up right now.
Bad thoughts Hinata. Bad thoughts.
No one will ever know that you one time sneaked into Neji's room and read his Icha Icha Paradise book, the third edition – smuttiest of them all.
But seriously, I should be the one at fault? No. Neji should! I wish Hiashi would just come in on him when he and Tenten are doing their special training in his room!
Yeah, I love Tenten, you know, we're friends and all, and I'm happy that she's with Neji since she's loved him since like, forever, but must they do it in his room when our rooms are right next to each other? Does he really think that I can't hear their moans and all?
And then Hanabi has to come on in and ask what's going on? Why can't she go and ask Neji?
Oh, wait, Naruto still looking at me and trying to say something. Aw, he's so cute!
"Yes Naruto-kun?"
"Well, I just think that you, you know, you look really pretty." Seriously, you can't faint right now! He just called you beautiful! Or pretty. But same diff!
"T-Th-Thank you N-Naruto-kun."
"You, uh, want to go and get some ramen with me? My treat!" Naruto beamed, then latched his arm onto mine, smiley widely as I shook my head yes. How could I resist my deary? Well, he's not mine. Yet.
Naruto kindly opened the door for me as we walked into the ramen shop. I smiled and blushed, murmuring a quiet thank you.
"Two bowls of miso ramen please!" Naruto cheered as we sat down. I shook my head to Ayame and then turned to the adorable blonde next to me.
No one really got why I loved Naruto so much. Sure, there were incredibly good-looking guys in Konoha, but none compared to him. Heck, even Kiba was kind of handsome and all, but Naruto was just so innocent, and cute, and so unlike me. I look up to him, you know?
"How have you been Hinata-chan?"
"Wonderful. How about you?"
"Hm, I'm okay. A lot of missions lately, but they're such a breeze! Granny Tsunade hasn't given me anything challenging lately."
"Ah, well maybe there hasn't been anything lately."
"I guess."
"Here we are. Two bowls of miso ramen for the young couple." I blushed and Ayame's words and looked down, not knowing Naruto's expression. It must have been like mine since he didn't say anything back to the girl.
"Naruto-kun!" A girl's voice came from behind. I turned to see the total slut/whore/skank/man-stealer in all her prostitute clothes, as if she's just gotten off her shift of being a 'lady of the night'. Of course, I'd never voice these opinions. Oh goodness no.
"Oh, uh, hi." He greeted the fangirl before him. Yeah, I've seen her before around him, flirting (and no, I was not stalking, just watching and noting things is all). I didn't even know her name, but I now officially hate her.
"What are you doing here?" The bitch asked all snootily. Okay, so, apparently it's like painfully obvious that I have the hots for Naruto, right? And like, everyone knows it but him. So this one fangirl of his (he doesn't have many, thank Kami-sama) knows that I'm in love with him.
"Oh, Hinata-chan is just eating lunch with me!" Naruto informed while smiling his infamous grin. I could melt at just the sight of those top notes.
"Why don't you eat lunch with me, and we could, you know, call it a date?" Naruto blushed. Oh. No. That. Bitch. Didn't. Someone is so going to die right now. Well, not really, for I would never do such a thing. But something needs to be done. I do have a plan, but it would be so un-Hinata-ish that I believe even Shino would be stop sulking and have his eyes widen just a tad.
"Well, um, you know," Naruto stuttered. That's it; I really need to do this! I know I can.
"A-Actually, N-Naruto-kun can't g-go on a d-date with, with you." I explained to the best of my ability.
"What do you mean?"
"W-Well, N-Naruto-kun and I a-are, I'm h-his g-g-girlfriend." Naruto's head turned to mine as I tried to give him a knowing look. He didn't pick it up and his face began to heat as well as mine.
"What do you mean you're his girlfriend?"
"I, well, you see,"
"I know he'd never go out with a skank like you." Naruto now look scandalized, but who could blame him. Me, a whore? Yeah, no. Those two words don't belong in the same sentence unless 'isn't' is between them.
"Hinata-chan isn't a–" Naruto – Kami-sama bless his ramen-loving soul – began to defend me.
"Give me proof then!" Naruto's eyebrows just scrunched together as I mustered up all my courage.
I leaned over to him, while still managing to sit gracefully on my stool, and pressed my lips to his. Naruto's eyes became as wide a saucers, and I had to idea what I was doing with my lips, but suddenly, I felt Naruto's move as well. That's good, right?
He cupped my cheek with his surprisingly smooth hand as I could just imagine the look over that stupid fangirls face.
Hinata: 1
Bitch: 0
I love life.
I pulled away once I heard a deep cough. I looked over to see Naruto's fangirl crying, and I can't help but feel guilty. I'm a very guilt-ridden person.
Naruto opened his eyes and they locked with mine. He smiled shyly with a blush still adorning his cheeks and I can't help but to think how cute he looks. Damned be the aforementioned Naruto-stalker.
Plus, I think she walked away once she realized her defeat.
Naruto turned around and started slurping his soup once more. This was a pretty awkward situation, so I can't blame him for leaving me for his precious food.
I turned back to my noodles and quietly ate them.
"Kissing is so much better than ramen!" Naruto cried while lifting his arms in the air, then grabbing me by the shoulders and smashing his lips onto mine.
Hm, by the way Naruto is moving his tongue around my mouth, maybe I really will need to borrow Sakura's (Sasuke's) – whosever's it is – Icha Icha Paradise book.
Because writing really fluffy stories using other characters makes you feel less lonely when you realize that they're not happening to you.