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A/n this is a one shot with lots of spoilers for "Zugzwang." Please enjoy

It's funny the way expected events never go the way you think. You can imagine them to your heart's content, and plan for every contingency, but the reality never seems to live up to expectations.

Maeve learned the truth of this fact as she sat tied to a chair and watched that bitch Dianne lead a man into the room. The man had to be Spencer, but… Suddenly, the pain in her head retreated. She stopped trying to pull against the zip ties on her wrists. The tears on her face didn't register and she ceased to hear anything but the beating of her heart and his voice.

He was nothing like she imagined in her dreams and fantasies. Every time she had talked to him on the phone, she had tried to picture what he looked like in her head. After awhile, she realized that whatever she imagined wouldn't come close to the truth so his voice became everything. She knew every expression, every tone and phrase. She loved how his voice squeaked when he was excited, or his "teaching mode" when he went off on some tangent about a discussion they were having on Euclidian Geometry, or philosophy, or, art, or genetics. She knew, sorrow, pain, and joy in his voice. Now, she understood the underlying fear, too.

He wore a blindfold and she flinched at the covering over his eyes. Her heart jumped, though, at seeing him just a few feet from her. Her stomach looped as if she rode the roller coaster at the carnival when he sat in front of her and said hello.

"Hi," was all she could say or wanted to say in front of Dianne.

Her stalker was crazy, there was no way around it, and seeing her dip her hand into his shirt and touch his skin infuriated and sickened Maeve at the same time. However, she could not disagree with Dianne's breathy declaration. "All this and brains, too."

She never imagined that he would have a long, lean body that reminded her of a runway model. She ached for his hands to touch her and knew they would when he saved her from the sick bitch that wanted her dead. God, if only Dianne would take off the blindfold.

Then, as if she heard Maeve's unspoken desire, she pulled off the blindfold and… She couldn't breathe because there was no angel in heaven or come down to earth that could compare to him. No man or woman had ever captured in art what she had so close, but so far away.

His wavy, golden brown locks were like a nimbus around his head. His face was sculpted into planes that sent her already rapid heart into near stroke range and his full lips begged to be kissed. It was his eyes, though, that drew her in completely so that everything else ceased to exist.

She began struggling with her bonds again because she wanted to touch him so badly it was like a fever infecting her brain. She heard him say, "I don't love you. I'm sorry."

She heard herself say, "I understand," because it did not matter what he said. She knew every tone of his voice and now she saw it in eyes, which were the windows to the purest soul she'd ever know. "I love you." They said to her. "I'm so afraid for you." They screamed.

She wanted to tell him it would be okay. She wanted to shout that they would make up for all the lost time when it was over. She desperately wanted to tell him that she knew without question that he would save her from Dianne that they would be together and have their happy ending.

CMCMCMCM

How many times had someone blindfolded him? Maeve once promised him that she'd make blindfolds fun again, but this wasn't what he'd had in mind.

He knew she was there when Dianne led him to a chair and made him sit down. It wasn't that it was logical that because he was sitting in this position, but because he could sense her there like a beacon in his brain. He could feel her heat reaching out to him.

Her voice soothed him and his heart began to slow down as soon as she greeted him. It was going to be okay. He'd do what he had to do and everything would be okay. He began to count in his head. If they could make it from 2412 hours to 2413, then everything would be okay.

When Dianne pulled off his blindfold and he saw Maeve for the first time he knew he'd been right about her. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. Blood marred her skin at the temple, and he could see that she'd been crying, but it was her eyes that drew him in instantly. They were the color of the ocean and just as full of passion. There were fear in them too, but he saw, that after a few seconds that lasted like days, there was absolute faith in them too.

He wanted to shout at her that she couldn't have that kind of faith in him. He wanted to believe with all of this heart that there was a way out of this for them, but doubts niggled at the back of his brain. He wasn't accounting for something, but he couldn't think what it might be that he was missing.

He said the words because there was no other choice. He said he didn't love her, that he was sorry. He saw the shock, then the understanding, and the love she had for him all in one silent exchange and his heart soared. He saw in their depths that he'd finally found the place that he could call home. Her eyes held everything he always wanted, love, acceptance and desire.

Then, it all went to hell. Her eyes, so beautiful and trusting, were closed forever to his sight. They'd never look at him again with absolute faith and love.

He'd failed her. His heart was shattered into so many pieces, he'd never recover and he didn't want to recover. It hurt too much to love, to let someone into his heart. It was better to be safe. It was better to guard your heart, than to leave it exposed and naked for the world to smash. It was better to be alone.