a/n: written for christine because it was her birthday a few weeks ago and the original fic i was writing for her is never going to get finished before the end of january because i suck. hope you enjoy my dearest.

x

"You're doing it again." Bobby looks up from his papers at Kat who's staring at him from across in the kitchen with a blank look on her face.

"Doing what?" he asks warily, because at this point his daughter's becoming more observant that him and that thought alone is only somewhat terrifying. He chalks it up to old age in the end anyway.

"Humming," she says, drawing out the word like she's trying to make him understand. Which actually you know, would be helpful because at the moment he really has no idea what she's talking about.

"What are you talking about?" Kat's gives him the universal 'dad seriously' look that all children seem to acquire after the age of thirteen before she just rolls her eyes at him when he shows no sign of responding.

"You don't hum it's just not your…thing," she ends, her voice only a little confused as if she's trying to figure out a puzzle.

"Everyone hums Kat," he responds trying to keep his voice neutral because honestly – where is she going with this?

"No you don't, at least not after…" she trails off softly, that misty eyed look appearing only for a second before it disappears and just for a moment his chest hurts because he knows that look, only one person can make that look appear on his daughter's face and it's times like these where he misses her with everything he has. He feels like he's drowning, and taking Kat down with him while he's at it because he's not strong enough to hold the two of them up when there's supposed to be three. Sometimes he wonders how he ever managed to raise Kat to be the person she is when he's only half the person she turned out to be.

After all, Nadia was always the one to hold their odd little family together.

"Anyway," Kat says clearing her throat, her eyes darting to the ceiling before landing back on him, clear and bright and god he's so proud to call her his daughter, so proud of her strength and determination sometimes it's all he can do not to grab her and just hold her in his arms and pretend if only for a moment that he's the only person she looks up to in this world anymore.

"You haven't hummed since then," she starts, "and ever since you came back from England you won't stop."

She attaches a raised eyebrow at the end for emphasis. Bobby tries not to freeze at that and shit shit shit he takes back everything why is this his daughter he is not ready to have this conversation god where is Hale to sweep her away when you need him that little shit -

"And?" he asks trying for the easiest way out – ignorance, pure blissful ignorance.

"Don't play coy Dad, it's very unbecoming of you." She leaves the kitchen with deliberately slow, measured steps all while keeping that slightly suspicious look on her face. He tracks her movements until she stops in front of him with just the coffee table separating the two of them.

She crosses her arms over her chest and opens her mouth – most probably to lay it on him – but she hesitates. It's quick, almost too quick for the normal eye to see but then again, neither of them is really that normal. And he sees the way her breath catches, the way her left hand twitches as she falters for that split second.

"Dad," she begins this time but it's soft and a little uncertain, like she's not sure whether or not she wants to continue with what she's saying, "Is there something you want to tell me?"

And Bobby, honest to god is not ready to answer that question. Because of course he wants to tell her, she's his daughter after all and of course she was going to figure out that he was hiding something from her eventually. And Kat has the right to know, but at the same time he's not ready to let go of his secret, not ready for the world to know and pry and judge the decisions he's made and he's not ready to face the consequences he knows are going to fall on him.

So while he knows Kat can keep a secret – honestly she's his daughter – it's still something he wants to keep close to his chest for a little while longer.

"If there was something to tell don't you think I would tell you?" he asks trying to ignore the way his chest gets tight for deliberately lying to her. Kat just looks at him for a few seconds before she blinks and sends a small wistful smile his way.

"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking," she says with a little laugh but he sees the way she avoids his eyes and the room suddenly feels a lot smaller than it did a few minutes before.

Yeah, he doesn't really know what he's thinking either.

x

"Kat's onto us," is the first thing that comes out his mouth when he walks into the hotel room.

Amelia raises an eyebrow at him from where she's reading her book curled up on the bed.

"Well hello to you too Mr. Bishop," she says, flicking her reading glasses on top her head and letting a smile curl around her lips.

"Did you not just hear what I said?" he asks, slipping off his shoes and folding his jacket over the chair in the corner. "Kat knows something's up and you know how she gets – she's not going to stop thinking about it and then she's going to end up prying and then it'll just –"

"Then tell her."

And Bobby stops because – huh.

"Really?"

"Really," she repeats with a grin, climbing out of bed and walking over to him.

"No really? You're ready to tell everyone?"

"Well maybe not everyone."

"But Kat? And Nick?"

"Yes."

"Really," he asks again because you know – really?

"Really," she says with that smile that never fails to make his heart beat a little faster still stretched over her lips. A then she's standing in front of him and winding her arms around his neck before pulling him into a kiss.

Which you know - great.

And the other thing well - huh, okay.

x

"Kat, I'm in a relationship," he says as soon as she picks up the phone and shit that's not how that was supposed to go but give him a break, he's winging it here.

"Really? That's great, me too."

"And I just want you to know that whatever happens between – wait what?"

"Okay, great talking to you Dad gotta go, love you bye!"

Then there's the dial tone echoing back in his ear.

"That little shit," he says out loud even though there's no one in the room with him. His daughter's most probably getting deflowered by Hale right at that very moment and all this time he's been feeling guilty for keeping his relationship from her when she's been frolicking about with that kid – and he knows it's Hale because it's always Hale and it's always going to be Hale because Hale?

Hale is a little shit.