A/N: Ah, another Ripples-verse oneshot. I've been really hyper lately, thanks to awesome awesome week of skiing ヾ(´▽｀*)ゝ
Chronologically, it is Ripples' sequel-drabble thingy. Naturally, there would be 'spoilers' without reading the other two. And, maybe reading them would lessen the confusion... somewhat, um, the silly randomness just spiked exponentially. I mean, it's Mitsu vs YuiAzu after all (・ω・;;;)
I'd like to say 'Don't think too much about it' as usual, but I think you'll automatically do that as you read along…
Warning: This is crack. Jotted down in one go to vent out my hyperness(?). Typo? The content is more worrisome. Be ready to say 'wtf?'
Disclaimer: I don't own K-on. Good, good, the universe is safe.
~&~!~&~!~&~!~&~!~&~!~&~!~&~
And so Team Coffee meets Team Weather
~&~!~&~!~&~!~&~!~&~!~&~!~&~
"I will not care if you get diabetes."
"Aww come on, so mean~ Of course you'll care, Mio-chuan~"
"Tsk, stop it! We're in public!"
"Cheh…Akiyama!"
"Ah h-hai!"
"Much better~"
"Y-you…!"
Ears red, Akiyama Mio shoved her utterly annoying girlfriend slash boss, Tainaka Ritsu. How Mio hated Ritsu for always reverting to her CEO persona, knowing well that Mio would respond automatically like an obedient, serious secretary.
Ritsu only smirked and dumped a ridiculous amount of coffee cream and sugar into her black coffee. Scoffing, Mio held her cup in a superior manner and took a small sip, smiling at the bitter taste hidden beneath a layer of sweetness.
Yes, she shook her coffee with a bit of coffee cream now. Just a little bit.
It was the weekend, a well-deserved one considering what a busy week they had. The couple had decided to come to the coffee shop they frequent so often. The weather was so pleasant and, what better place to spend such a day-off at the place that connected them together in the first place?
"Say, you know someone named Nakano Azusa?" Ritsu slurped her coffee.
Mio ignored her popping vein with practiced ease, even though the sound was really irritating. "Yes, she's my neighbor. What about her? Doesn't she work in another department?"
"Yea, I was the one who interviewed her…anyways, you know the black cat at my house? That's actually hers. The cat's name is called 'Azusa#1'."
Mio blinked. Ritsu laughed at her blank expression.
"I know, right? Who the heck named their cat after themselves?"
The black-haired woman rubbed her temples. Azusa#1…if she was correct in her deduction, it must be 'Azusa#2' 's mother. And Mio was certain as to who really named the cat.
"I think Nakano-san's roommate slash girlfriend named the cats."
"Oho! Really? That serious kid had a wacko girlfriend? I want to meet her! Introduce us!"
Eyes widening in fear, Mio dug through her mind, trying to change the topic.
Hirasawa Yui, meeting Tainaka Ritsu. How chaotic would that be? Mio had a migraine just from imagining such a horrifying scenario.
The Crazy and the Irritating.
No, Mio did not want to die from a stroke. It was said that blood vessels can burst from pure anger and frustration. Nope, no need to risk that.
"Um, so you're still taking care of the cat for her?"
"Yea, cuz it doesn't want to leave its mate." Good, the baka's attention was so easy to divert.
"Mate…you mean the white cat?"
"Yup! Azusa#1 is quite attached to my cat. I don't mind taking care of them. I mean, they're usually off in their own little world."
Hm, come to think of it, whenever Mio visited Ritsu, the two cats usually gave them some sort of appraising/approving look and then sauntered off somewhere, giving the couple their own space. Cats were said to be intelligent creatures with baffling insights. No one could ever tell what they were thinking. Mio stopped her thoughts immediately; no need to go through this again.
"So, what's your cat's name? I don't think you've told me."
Ritsu laughed nervously, amber eyes darting around the shop as if searching for some escape route. Realizing it was futile, she muttered.
"…Ritsu-sama."
"What?"
"…His name is Ritsu-sama."
"…you named your cat after yourself?" Mio put down her coffee cup hurriedly, trying to suppress her laughter.
"What!" Ritsu's ears were bright red. How cute. She folded her arms and huffed. "I'll name him however I want!"
"You're so weird!"
"But you can't get enough of me, right, Mio-chuan~"
Sitting there so arrogantly while slurping her overly-sugarnated black coffee, this childish woman really didn't look like the CEO of Tainaka Enterprise at all. Mio wondered why she was even surprised at the white cat's name.
Hmm, come to think of it, the times she stayed over at Ritsu's place (and did nothing she swear), the white cat was always leering at her. Like, a mysterious, knowing look.
Ritsu continued to smile at her roguishly, and Mio was unable to deny her girlfriend's accusation.
Grr. Damn Ritsus.
Damn their devilish but adorable smirks.
"Stop spinning! You're making me dizzy!"
"But it's such a nice day, Azunyan! Join us!"
Nakano Azusa rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's behavior. She wanted to feel embarrassed, but it seemed as if the street vendors, shop owners or even passerbys were used to Hirasawa Yui's peculiar behavior.
It was a natural occurrence. Don't question nature.
Just carry on.
The brunette was holding their cat, Azusa#2, and dancing and spinning down the street merrily. She always, always, did this whenever they went on their strolls. It was really starting (starting?, Really?) to get on Azusa's nerves.
Eyes widening, she quickly pulled her girlfriend's collars before she spun into the path of an incoming car.
"Stop it! It's really dangerous!"
"Gomen, Azunyan. But why won't you join us?Let's enjoy the nice weather together!"
"No!" At the brunette's hurt puppy look, Azusa softened her tone. "You seem to enjoy it just fine with Azusa#2…" Dear lord, she still couldn't say the cat's name without shuddering, even though technically, she was the one who named it.
"Aww, are you jealous, Azunyan?"
"What!"
"I love all my Azusas, but of course you're still my favorite, Azunyan! Don't worry!" With that, Yui gathered her up in a huge hug and snuggled against her.
Right in the middle of the road.
"YUI!"
"Geez, you do this everywhere! Here, at your pet store, at MY office….ugh!" Azusa pushed her girlfriend off her frantically when the latter made suggestive smooching sounds.
"Eeehhh? Why not? I'm showing the world how much I love my Azunyan!"
Ears burning, Azusa hurried ahead and tried to calm down her heart.
Every. Single. Time.
And she could never find a proper retort.
Ugh. Migraine.
"I don't need more headaches, Yui! Work is really tiresome already."
"Really? How? Work is fun!" The brunette was finally walking normally, staring at the shorter girl inquisitively. Azusa could practically see a puppy tail wagging behind her good-natured girlfriend.
"Well, you have it easy! Ui pretty much ran the shop. You were just there to play with the pets!"
"Of course! I love playing with them! Oh yea, I think we should get another ca-"
"NO!" And what, name it Azusa#3? No way!
"Ehhh? Why not? Ah, that's right, I haven't thanked the person who's been taking care of Azusa#1 for us! Who is that person? Let me meet them!"
Azusa almost tripped.
Tainaka Ritsu, meeting Hirasawa Yui. No no no. Oh my god, her incredibly annoying boss meeting her insane girlfriend? That simply won't do at all.
The Irritating and the Crazy.
No no, the world would end.
Azusa felt she was too young to die from a stroke, which was highly possible with the amount of migraines she had lately. No need to set them off.
Quick, distraction!
"Y-Yui, why don't we go to Tsumugi-san's coffee shop?"
Yui perked up. "Mugi-chan's awesome lattes? Yay! Let's go~"
Good good, her girlfriend was so easily distracted.
"So how did you meet Tsumugi-san?"
"Oh, Mugi-chan was looking for people to adopt kittens by her cat, whose name was…um, something to do with flowers. Anyways, that's how I got Azusa#0!"
Azusa sweat-dropped. Right, she shouldn't have asked.
Her heart almost stopped as they stepped into the shop and spotted two familiar people at one corner.
Crap.
"Ne, Azunyan, I'm going to get coffee for us this time!" Before Azusa could back out, her girlfriend had already run up to the counter and started chatting with the friendly blonde.
"Oi, is that you, Azusa?"
Damn. Spotted. The short girl had no choice but to walk towards her boss and neighbor.
"Good afternoon, Akiyama-san, Tainaka-san."
"Heh no need to so formal! We're outside of work! Right, Mio?"
"…I guess. How are you, um, Azusa? Are you here by yourself?"
Mio-san looked strangely flighty…ah. Azusa understood the older woman's fear immediately.
"Er, yes, I was just going to-"
"A~ZU~NYAN!"
"Nya!"
Yui tackled her from behind, while miraculously holding their coffee cups without spilling the content. The black kitty purred and rubbed against Azusa's leg.
Trapped.
And doomed.
Azusa sighed. Mio-san also sighed. It was inevitable.
"Hm, you must Hirasawa Yui, aren't ya? Azusa's girlfriend and Mio's neighbor!"
"Hello! You're Tainaka Ritsu right? Azunyan's boss and Mio-chan's girlfriend!"
Instant comradeship was formed.
The two black-haired women groaned.
Yui sat down in front of Ritsu enthusiastically while Azusa reluctantly sat down in from of Mio. The two shared another exasperated look. Azusa tried to communicate with Mio-san through pleading gazes, but the older woman only shook her head, resigned.
True. Too late.
"Heh, this must be the infamous Azusa#2! I heard so much about you!" The stranger-shy kitty seemed to be lenient towards Ritsu's pats.
"Aw, she likes you, Ricchan!"
Azusa's eyebrow rose. 'Ricchan', already? Then again, this was Yui…and Ritsu-san didn't seem to mind at all.
"So you've been taking care of Azusa#1 for us. Thanks very much! How is she?"
"Heh, no need to thank me! She's doing great with my cat. Your kitty's sire actually."
"Oh, can I meet him sometime? I want to see him! What's his name?"
"…Ritsu-sama."
Azusa choked on her coffee. Mio-san reached over and patted her back sympathetically, with a "I-know-how-you-feel" look.
Yui gasped. "Nani! Y-you mean…You mean my Azusa#1 was married to…'Ritsu-sama'? No no no! Change his name to Yui-kun!"
The amber-eyed woman frowned. "What? No way! You change the black cat's name to Mio-chuan!"
"Yui-kun!"
"Mio-chuan!"
THUMP x2.
Ritsu and Yui groaned, holding their heads as their respective girlfriends held up their fists once more.
"Stop the conversation with the cats, now."
"Yes, I agree with Mio-san."
Yui shot Azusa the hurt puppy look again. "Uaa, Azunyan hit me!"
Folding her arms in a superior manner, Ritsu proclaimed, "See, I'm used to Mio's hits now so they don't really count! It's just how we are so really, she never hits me! Obviously, I have a better girlfriend."
Shaking her head vehemently, Yui pouted, "No way! Azunyan is the best!"
"Mio!"
"Azunyan!"
"MIO!"
"AZUNYAN!"
"SHUT UP!"
CLONK x 2
Though hissing in pain, Ritsu-san seemed determined, "Well, I have proof why Mio's definitely a better girlfriend!"
"Ok, comrade Ricchan, present your case!"
Azusa did not really care who was the better girlfriend or not. She just wanted to get out of here. But of course, Ritsu-san continued excitedly, while dodging Mio-san's frantic punches.
"So Mio and I were overworking one night-"
~ Mio and Ritsu, alone in the CEO's office ~
"Mio~"
"What. Shouldn't you leave already?"
"Why, I can't leave my poor Mio-chuan here alone, can I? Besides, remember I'm supposed to tell you your evaluation today?"
"Evaluation?"
"Uh-huh. Like, you've been working as my secretary for a few months now, and I'm supposed to fill out some form for the Human Resources department or whatever. Bah, it's just a formality."
"Fine, are you going to tell me how I did then?"
"Not yet, because there's one thing I have yet to evaluate…"
Ritsu pushed all that junk off her table and hopped on, wearing her trademark impish grin.
Mio shot her an are-you-kidding-me-glare.
"Aw, come on! You know you want to!"
The extremely irritated secretary whirled around and stormed towards the door.
"Er, wait, I'm sorry, don't get mad, I was just-" Ritsu broke off abruptly when Mio locked the door and stomped back towards her.
"You asked for it," Mio spoke slowly, trapping the esteemed CEO against the table. Ritsu yelped and fell down, and Mio immediately hovered above her, keeping her down by the shoulders. The black-haired woman was blushing furiously, but she was also licking her lips.
"Um, you don't have your coffee yet, right?" Ritsu tried to think of a possible reason why her girlfriend was being unusually forward, but it was too hard to concentrate.
"Actually, since I knew I was going to overwork today, I made sure I drank enough coffee to keep me energized…all night."
"All…night…?" Ritsu repeated dumbly, blinking.
"Oh, I skipped my dinner too by the way," Mio smiled lightly at Ritsu's flustered expression. The black-haired woman began to unbutton the other's shirt.
"Oi oi oi! I'm the boss here!"
Mio's small smile turned into a mischievous smirk as she loosened Ritsu's tie and clipped the latter's name tag onto her own blouse.
"Not anymore, Ritsu," she leaned down and whispered against her girlfriend's ear. Ritsu shivered.
"I am."
"Wait, Mi-hnnn-!"
"And then –OW!"
Mio-san's face was completely red as she wrapped her arms around Ritsu-san's neck in a choke hold, successfully cutting off any other embarrassing words.
"Can't…breathe…"
Mercifully, Mio-san let go. When Ritsu-san was about to start talking again, Mio-san quickly shoved a cup of steaming hot coffee down her girlfriend's throat.
As the amber-eyed woman was choking and complaining her burned tongue, Yui put her hands on her waist importantly. Azusa had a feeling what 'argument' her girlfriend was going to present.
Before she could run away, Yui had already locked her arms around the girl.
Oh crap oh crap oh crap...!
"Comrade Ricchan, that's nothing! Let me tell you how awesome Azunyan is-"
~Azusa and Yui, in the airhead's pet store~
"Hehehehe, it's so ticklish! Look look, Azunyan!"
"Of course all the cats are going to lick your hand, Yui, you're holding their tuna."
Yui giggled again as all the cats at her store surrounded her in a rather obedient manner, licking her hand affectionately. She felt like she was the Queen of Cats! Wait, no, that's not true, there was one more cat who had yet to lick her…
"Ne ne Azunyan~"
"What."
"Will you lick me?"
CRASH. Azusa dropped all the tin plates she was holding, dispersing the startled cats.
"I mean, it's always me licking y-"
"YUIIIIII!" Azusa dove on top of her and covered her mouth. "There might still be customers outside the room!"
The bait was thrown, and the kitty walked right into the trap. Yui smiled innocently. "Oh, I already closed the shop. Ui had to leave early."
"Mou, Yui!" Azusa shook her head, sighing, "You're so lucky to have a sister like her."
The brunette tried to giggle at the fact that her girlfriend seemed reluctant to get off her even with all that denial. Geez, Azunyan, so not honest~
"I know right? She even told me good luck!"
"Good luck on what?"
"I told her Azunyan's gonna lick me today!"
"W-W-W-W-W-W-WHAT! WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?"
Yui tried not to laugh as she used her devastating puppy eyes. "Doesn't Azunyan like me anymore?"
"…"
Yes yes, just a little bit more. Azunyan's face was about to explode!
"Is it because it's rainy today? You didn't get enough photosynthesis done?"
"What the-? Yui!" With a frustrated yowl, Azusa grabbed the brunette and started shaking her. "You don't make any sense!"
"You're so cute~"
"Listen to me and stop teasing me!" Azusa's eyes narrowed and she actually growled.
Yui only giggled in the face of the enraged tiger. "Azunyan's gonna use her claws now, yay!"
"Claws huh…"
Puzzled by her girlfriend's quiet voice, Yui pouted cutely. "Azunyan?"
The pigtailed girl leaned down, her tongue darting out and dragging across Yui's collar bones languidly.
For once, the brunette was silent.
Hirasawa Yui was shocked.
An uncharacteristic smirk formed on Azusa's face.
"I'll show why I'm not a kitty, Yui."
"E-e-e-ehhhh- ?"
"And so the entire night, Azunyan-eck!"
Now it was Azusa's turn to wrap her arms around her girlfriend's neck. Mio felt really bad for the girl, who looked like she had permanent tan the way she was blushing. Poor Azusa, living with such an innocently devilish girlfriend.
Yes, Mio can completely sympathize.
Even with her burned tongue and numerous bumps on her head, Ritsu continued to argue with Yui, who looked really happy with Azusa attached to her back. Knowing it was useless to stop their tactless conversation, Mio zoned them out and stared out of the window.
However, the supposed calming effect was nowhere to be found. Didn't she do this every single day, months ago?
Well, that was before Tainaka Ritsu waltzed into her life. Mio sighed and turned her attention back to the store –
- and found a certain blonde watching them dazedly with a video camera in her hand.
"…Mugi-san, are you filming?"
"Oh, don't worry, this is for the Weekly Coffee Digest."
As if such a digest existed. Mio spotted the blonde hiding a magazine behind her – Yuri Digest, with a picture of a familiar Persian cat on it.
Right, Mugi-san's cat, whose name was 'Yuri'.
...wait, what?
Mio had enough.
She dragged Ritsu up by her collar and out of the door, excusing herself in an admirably controlled voice.
Azusa smiled at her gratefully. Mio nodded and tugged even harder, glaring at the amber-eyed woman.
Ritsu, being the dense idiot she was, missed the warning.
"See what I mean?" She called out to Yui triumphantly, "Mio's so impatient already! My charm is irresistible-"
"URUSAI!"
"What? It's such a nice day, don't you want to exercise?"
"BAKA!"
THUNKx999
Tainaka Ritsu, HP: 0
"Secretaries did all the work" was a true statement after all.
Azusa just felt sorry for her neighbor, to work under such a boss everyday… then again, she had to live with Yui.
Maybe it was a tie after all.
At least, this extremely taxing conversation was over. Weren't they out to have a stroll? Ugh, that was the thing with being with Yui – nothing was predictable.
But that was the fun, wasn't it? Not that Azusa would ever admit aloud, but everyday was…enjoyable, just by being with her crazy but lovable girlfriend.
Familiar arms wrapped around her and lifted her up, blowing away any fond thoughts Azusa had of Yui.
"What are you-?"
"We can't lose, Azunyan! Ricchan had issued her challenge, I can't back down! Let's go home! We had our coffee, so we should be ready for the marathon!"
"Challenge…wait, MARATHON?"
Unfortunately for the self-proclaimed not-kitty, Yui's HP was infinite.
Universal rule: airhead always wins.
Again, don't question natural phenomenons.
Kotobuki Tsumugi, age 25, coffee shop owner, was valiantly trying to stay conscious with the amount of nosebleed she was having.
"Good job, me!" She patted her video camera and smiled at her cat.
Yuri purred, as if congratulating its owner too.
Cats, after all, had been mysterious creatures since ancient times.
It licked the coffee off is plate in a classy, elegant manner and gazed into the sunny sky with a typical feline smile.
A/N: I did say it's crack, because it is. I did not lie D8 It was meant to release exam stress and as a break from all that angst I've been writing lately u.u
Blatant mentions of the coffee and the weather. Did anyone notice the 'trade' in the end?
Oh, in my hyper state, I actually figured out how the poll thingy worked. Vote if you like.
I hope you've enjoyed it XD
Omake:
Two black-haired women ran into each other as they went downstairs to check the mailbox.
"Ah, good morning, Mio-san."
"Good morning, Azusa."
"…"
"…"
"I mean, good evening, Mio-san."
"Good evening, Azusa."
"…"
"…"
"Maybe I should just stay at home today? Yui's still…asleep, and it's already…evening already."
"….maybe I should too. That baka hasn't woken up yet either."
I'll leave it up to you to decide whatever that means. (*/∇＼*)