I sit here waiting.

For a sign. For a light. Anything.

I've been waiting so long...eternity just feels short.

I unconsciously rub my cheek. It's still sore.

You want to know what happened? Well...

Flashback-20 minutes ago...

I didn't do anything. I always don't do anything. I wasn't the one who cracked Master Yoshi's photo frame. I am not the one who stabs Mikey's toy panda with a sai. I'm never the one who decided it would be funny to scare Raphie so bad, by showing him a whole tin of cockroach's, that he would hide away under the table and not come back out until we had to drag him out.

And yet, I get blamed. For every bloomin' thing I can think of. Today was no freakin' different.

You see, Master Splinter had been out all night scavenging. He was tired as shell.

Guess what happened?

Mikey thought it would be funny...to put a bucket of sugar over the kitchen door. Dad turned albino white as soon as it was opened. He was too angry for words. He turned to glare at someone. His gaze landed towards me. The others huddled together, looking as innocent as 2-year-olds. My hands were also white.

Father believed me as the culprit.

He stepped forward. Boy was he mad.

"Leonardo, did you do this?"

His tone was dangerously soft. My brothers all nodded. Why do they nod? I am not the crime maker...am I? What have I ever done to them? Or what have I never done to them?

Sensei's eyes burned with frustration and disappointment.

"Leonardo, I suggest you go to your room...now."

That last word was almost shouted. He turned to leave. My mouth fell open. I objected.

"But I didn't do anything, Dad!"

He slapped me across my left cheek. It stung like all of shell. But it's meaning was a much deeper cut.

He hated me.

He lunged forward. I felt his furry hands around my neck. My body was pinned to the floor. My eyes full of fear and surprise.

"MY SON, NEVER TALK BACK TO A MASTER!"

His words were all but screamed at me. My brothers were all frozen. Master Splinter does get angry sometimes...but never this angry. He released me from his grip and slammed his bedroom's door behind him. Our home was silent. I stared into space while my brothers retreated to their rooms.

I made a decision.

This was not my father. Fathers don't hurt their children as he does.

And are those other 3 creatures really my siblings? Brothers don't lie about something like that in front of their father. Brothers help each other up when they're down. Brothers don't crush each others spirits.

Are these people my family or just taking the place of my real family?

Then I ask one question that always leaves peoples heads spinning with confusion.

Who am I?

After a whole hour of sitting there doing absolutely freakin' nothing, I did the one thing I knew my body was capable of doing, even if my mind would regret it. I walked out of the only thing I knew that was close to a home. But, right at this moment, I didn't feel as attached as I normally would.

I felt confused, guilty, sad, disappointed, traitored, hated, alone, lonely, insignificant, small and scared. But I didn't feel to much regret of leaving.

I almost felt...peaceful...for the first time in who-knows-how-long. I only stopped walking until I came to a ladder leading to a place that was the one rule in the house that was repeated constantly over in our heads. Thou mustn't go to the temping world of 'topside'. If we had decided to put up a board which said all the rules, that one sentence would be the first five lines, maybe 10.

I stood there and looked up.

I had two options.

Keep going forward and eventually be found by your brothers...Or go to the one place they would never look for you, even if the were aloud to...If they were even bothered, anyway.

I thought that the riskier, yet safer, way was the best way to go.

I took my first step to freedom...Up that cold, metal ladder.

If you ever asked me to describe my exact feelings, I would say that I felt...less claustrophobic. I breathed in the less smellier, midnight air. The night sky was full of polluted clouds. It didn't matter to me. I half-wished to be like one of those clouds. Though I was gray, I was surrounded and not alone.

I found a fire escape ladder and climbed it to the top. I felt like I was on top of the world. I leaned my shell against a vent and just allowed myself to wallow in my surroundings.

It wasn't as quiet as one would've hoped. The city that never sleeps needs a good damn nap.

I closed my eyes and sat in that position for the next mellenia.

Thus comes to Present time...

I look up at the sky once more.

The moon was moving ever so slowly...like tonight it had decided that it was time to give me a little bit of comfort. I was glad for that.

The clouds moved a bit more a part so I could see something that I thought you could only see on television.

A shooting star. At that moment, I knew others would be wanting that same stars to answer prayers.

Some for their greed. Some for their loses. Some...just because they have nothing else better to do that night.

But I...I know that my silent prayer would not be answered.

Many have tried with no success. But...what have I got to lose? Nothing what so friggin' ever!

I close my eyes and think of a poem, that I created once, to my silent plea.

***

Star shining in the skies

While I close my tired eyes

I believe in thee, so please grant thy's

Wish of where thou's heart lies

Someone...wherever you are...please tell me...who am I?

***

I open my eyes to, as expected, absolutely nothing. Nadda, zilche, nope, nothin', none. Just freakin' fascinating.

I turned my head down. Turtle luck...true to form.

Then, there was that zinging sound. You know the sound of a not turned off television which has just sit there and nothing has happened? Well it sounded something like that. I didn't think it was coming from inside my head, so I looked up.

That same star seemed to be changing course. I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear hallucinations. It was still there. And it was still changing it's course. Why is my heart beating at 140 miles an hour you ask?

It's coming straight at ME!!!!!

I braced myself for the smashing of a huge meteorite thing shattering my bones to smithereens. It never came. I gazed upwards again...to be blinded by that same damn light.

"Please, don't worry, I won't harm you..."

That voice was so beautiful, like, even better than any angel. Magical. Sing-song. Special. And very, very, very familiar. My gaze wandered up once again.

Then...I saw her. The one woman I've been wanting to meet ever since Master Splinter said that we were abandoned pet turtles when he found and adopted us.

"Mom?"

She was the most beautiful turtle I had ever seen. She was the shape of a humanoid turtle, why I do not know, but she still really was beautiful.

Even though her body was glowing white, I could see that see had a mixture of both mine and Donnie's skin colours. She had this lovely long brown hair that, if it wasn't flowing in the wind, would have almost touched the ground, at least.

Her eyes were sparkling blue, even blue-r than Mikey's, and finally her face was shaped a awful lot like Raphie's.

She wore a wonderfully white and pale blue dress on, sparkling like stars when it moved.

She also had a ring on top of her head, that had what looked like pearls and a shuriken were coming down from it. But I didn't care. To me, it looked like a tiara that not even the highest of royalties would ever be aloud to wear.

For it was my mother who wore it. Instantly, I know it is her. The woman I have been wanting to meet since Master Splinter was in our life.

I had much to ask, but my voice was trapped in my throat. What could I say anyway? What do you say to a person you never really even knew exsited, who just suddenly appeared in a flash of light before your eyes, like a godess from the heavens?

She apparently knew. Her bright light soften in tone and she carefully walked towards me, though, she looked like she swept the concreate so beautifully, you'd have never know she was placing one foot after the other. Like gliding.

She knelled down till our eyes met. She slowly, yet gracefully, placed her hand in mine. I felt her touch, when I realised.

She was here, real, in front of me. Not just a figment of my imagination, or a trick of the light, or even an illusion of the mind. My mother, the one who brought me life, was kneeling before me. Me and me alone. No one else. Just us.

As if by instinct I threw myself into her arms and embraced her with all I had. Her arms enveloped me and I never wanted to let her go again. I was with her and that was all that mattered.

I knew I shouldn't cry, but that was all I seemed capable of doing. Tears of joy, fear and compassion. I had wished for all my life to know who she was, what she did, but at that moment, all that really mattered was she was here, holding me like there was no tomorrow, and I knowing that, through my tears, I could be content and happy with who was with me.

"Oh, my little Keirio, shh, I'm here...my child."

I was still overwhelmed with emotion, but I still had the strength to look up at her. Her eyes shone out of the darkness like moonlight on the ocean. She gently wiped the tear stains from my face but I still could feel wet tears there, or where they had been.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came forth. Despite myself, I wanted to know so many things but...

"Is that my name...Mom?" I asked timidly. Well, what are you supposed to ask. I look guiltily at the ground, put her hnd cups my face till our our eyes meet.

"Yes. It means 'my beating heart', my little one." She smiled at me. A warm smile only mothers could have for their children.

I embraced her once more. Keirio. My beating heart. My name. My birth name. I'm both Leonardo and Keirio...and loving it.

Even though I didn't know how she would react, I still found myself asking, "Are...are you from the heavens?"

"When you were born, you and your brothers stayed close to one another. Tarke, Rapahel, Cios, Michelangleo, and Xanerk, Donatello, all stayed with you as a group. I soon found you and, when I realised you were my young felt the unusual need to be by your side..."

Tarke. Cios. Xanerk. My brothers. They truely were my brothers. Another thing to get off my chest.

"We spent months swimming together being a family, but I was closer to you more than your brothers, I remember teaching you everything I knew about the sea, life, everything we came across..."

It was nice to think I was close to my mother, even as a hatchling, but I knew there was more to it then just that. There had to be.

"Then, the harpoons came down. They struck where you boys were. You sent out a cry for help and...then I found my heart being peirced protecting you."

I felt her own tears on my skin. She died for us...like any mother should...

"That was the same day, they whisked you away for that pet shop."

"Do you, ever get lonely up there, in the clouds?" Man, me and my big mouth.

"No, because, number 1, Rictar, your father is there with me, because of a fishing net acident. But most of all, I can look down and see you grow and know, you are in good hands, my child."

I closed my eyes before mumbling more to myself than asking a question,"What's your name, Mom?"

"I am Sephora, and I am proud to have you as my child." I knew, even huddeled up to her like this with my eyes closed. I knew she was smiling.

Without warning, she kissed me on the forhead, and my heart leapt across fields, it was so...wonderful. Note to everyone out there, if you haven't ever been kissed by your mother for a long while, then you are waaayyy overdue.

Still with my eyes closed, I heard her soft voice, singing to me a song I recognised...from my time in the ocean.

***

As the ocean rises and falls,
We always know where we are
It is the sea that our hearts call
Never going to tear us apart

You are my children
Everything to me
You show me how life can be
My beating heart...it's just you and me

***

At that, I slpped into darkness.

I opened my closed eyes. I sat up and found myself at home, my brothers surrounding me. Tarke to my left, Cios just above him, and Xanerk above me. I searched in every direction. Mom...wasn't here anymore. She was gone again, but her presence still lingered.

Was it all a dream? I know I had felt her touch to mine, but that could have just been Master Splinter putting me to bed or something. In fact, I don't remember going to bed.

I felt something in my hand. And there it was, the crystal shard that held her spirit, held her close to me.

She had our colours, our looks, our hope, but she was my light.

I couldn't help but think one phrase that held meaning, as listen to the sounds of the night.

***

You maybe gone,
but you make me who I am,
no matter what they say,
goodbye maybe the saddest word,
but it is never the last forever
Thanks Mom
For forever brightening my day

***

Personally, I don't know what to say about this. I'm not a poet? *shrugs* I don't think anyone will really read it or review this, but if you do...your choice. SavirtriXLeo