Major Crimes

Sharon/Brenda

…

Lt. Provemza: You had to shoot the guy.

Sharon: That's not the problem Lieutenant, what I am finding difficult is that I took a human life today, and I still can't locate a single part of me that feels bad about it."

…

Captain Sharon Raydor sat at her desk, looking out in to the Major Crimes office to see the last remaining detectives getting ready to leave for the evening. They'd all worked so hard over the past 48 hours and finally Sharon had insisted that everyone go home and get some well earned sleep. Andy had offered to stay behind to help her with the mountains of paperwork she had yet to get through as well as preparing herself to speak to Chief Taylor's family the following morning, but Sharon being Sharon assured everyone she was fine. Sharon turned her chair to look out at the night sky, not fully remembering when the daylight had disappeared. She closed her eyes briefly before the knock at her office door interrupted her, hearing the door open behind her. She turned around to see who had entered to see a familiar face staring back at her.

"Brenda…"

"Hi."

Sharon got to her feet, coming around to Brenda, before leaning against the desk.

"This is a surprise, what are you doing here."

"Really Captain, what am' I doin' here? I heard what happened."

"You shouldn't have come."

"Well I thought y'all might need someone to talk too, I hear you've barely spoken to anyone about the events at the courthouse."

"Brenda I…"

"I know am' probably the last person you wanted to see but, after I heard…I had to come."

"Does Chief Howard know what happened with us?"

"Yeah, I told him everything before we separated."

"Was I the…"

"You weren't the reason why we divorced, things hadn't been right between us for a long time, y'all knew that. He has his suspicions about how I felt about you."

"I'm sorry…"

Brenda offered a smile before Sharon lowered her head, her hands covering her face…the silent teats falling from her eyes. Brenda moved forward, bringing Sharon in to her arms as the older woman clung to her as she cried.

"Sssshhh, it's okay…everything will be okay."

"I couldn't stop him Brenda…I wasn't quick enough."

"Hey, you killed the son of a bitch. You got him."

"But the Chief, Dr Joe…I couldn't…"

"Sharon listen to me, Dr Joe will recover. What happened to Chief Taylor, it's a terrible tragedy? You can't alter what happened but you did save many lives in the process."

Sharon pulled back and wiped away her tears as Brenda watched her, a warm hand on her arm.

"Come on, am' takin' you home."

"Brenda I have so much work."

"Filing can wait; god knows I was never in a rush to get it done. It'll still be there tomorrow, right now you need a decent meal and some sleep…lets go."

Sharon nodded her head as Brenda reached for Sharon's jacket from the coat rack and helped her in to it, her long hair brushing Brenda's face slightly.

…

It was just after eleven when they walked in to Sharon's, Rusty turned when he heard the door to see Sharon walk in with Brenda behind her.

"Brenda." He smiled.

Rusty came over and hugged Brenda while Sharon removed her jacket and shoes at the door.

"Rusty honey, you should be in bed."

"Yeah I know, I was just waiting for you. I wanted to make sure you okay?"

"I'm fine, you should go to bed."

They watched Sharon go in to the kitchen, pouring two glasses of wine, and stood silently looking ahead of her.

"Is she really okay?" Rusty asked.

"She's still in shock, a shootout like that…it can be pretty scary, even for a cop."

"She did good though, she killed him."

"Rusty, taking a life…it's never something you get used too, even if the person you killed wasn't a nice person."

"I guess…will you make sure she eats. There's a tuna bake in the oven, there's enough for two." He smiled.

"Thanks Rusty."

"Hey Brenda."

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're here, I think she misses you sometimes you know?"

"I miss her too, go to bed."

Brenda waited for Rusty to leave before she came up behind Sharon, a hand on her shoulder.

"Sharon, sit down. Rusty said there's dinner in the over."

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat something, sit down."

Sharon sighed but did as she was asked, sipping her wine as Brenda heated up the pasta. They ate in silence, but that didn't stop Brenda keeping a close eye on Sharon. She's drunk almost half the bottle of wine with dinner, taking the other half over tot the couch as Brenda cleared up.

…

Sharon sat with her legs tucked under her as she drank the last of the wine, Brenda coming over to join her.

"That's the plates cleared away."

"You didn't have to do that but thank you."

"Sharon talk to me, tell me what you're feelin'."

"I don't know, I really don't. As a police officer, you prepare yourself for these kind of moments but when it happens. I couldn't get to Chief Taylor in time, he died Brenda…he died."

Brenda moved closer to Sharon, her arm coming around her as Sharon's head found Brenda's shoulder.

"You did everything you could, Darnell was too quick and nobody could have predicted what he was gonna do."

"Lives were lost Brenda, the Chief, DDA Rosen, Simms. He nearly killed Dr Joe, Rusty was so upset. I didn't realize how close Rusty had become with him until now and poor Andrea, she's so upset about DDA Rosen, angry."

"I'm just glad it wasn't Andrea who was in Rosen's place."

"I know what you mean. When I killed Darnell…I felt nothing, I wasn't upset, I felt nothing for him…he took so many lives and when I took his I felt relief, knowing he could never hurt another human being again."

"There's nothing wrong with feeling that way Sharon."

"Has being a police officer made me so hard that I can't feel anything anymore?"

She looked up at Brenda, almost afraid of the answer."

"Sharon, you are one of the most kind hearted people I know. Look what you did for Rusty, you gave that boy a second chance at a life. You didn't have too, you could have let him go in to the system but you didn't because you're a good person and he meant something to you. You're a wonderful police officer, you care about the job, about your team. The relationship you have with Provenza, Flynn and the others, I never had that, not the way you do. Remember how much they hated you in the beginning, you worked hard to get them on your side and it worked. Those men and women care about you so much, even Fritzy…who do think called me."

"I thought you just saw it on the news."

"I did but he called me and asked me to come, he said you needed me."

"How could he care after what happened between you and I?"

"He's a good man, and I guess despite everything…you can't help caring about your friends and he does think of you as a friend."

"I'll thank him later."

"I can stay, for as long as you need me too."

Sharon got up, standing in front of Brenda as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"This is why you shouldn't have come back."

"What do you mean?"

"For as long as I need you, Brenda your coming back here, it's just reminded me how much I miss you, miss us. I don't want you to go back, just like I didn't want you to leave in the first place. I can't go through this again and I…"

"Ssshhh Sharon calm down, it's okay."

Brenda was up and gathering her in her arms as she began to cry for the second time that night.

"I love you Brenda, I just can't do this again."

Brenda pulled back, holding Sharon's face in her hands as she smiled at her.

"We'll work something out, I won't leave you again…I promise."

"You can't promise th…"

"I can, I thought it would be easier for you if I just left. You never called after I left so I just assumed that you didn't feel the same as me."

"I love you, I always have."

"I love you too Sharon."

"What do we do?"

"I'm gonna stay until all of this is over, I'll come with you tomorrow and we'll see Chief Taylor's family together. When this case is all over, then we can discuss us and I promise you, we'll find a way to make this work. If I have to move back then I will."

"You'd really do that?"

"If you were serious when you said you love me?"

"I was serious."

"Me too, we'll talk about all of this tomorrow but in the meantime, you need to sleep and so do I."

"Are you staying?"

"If that's okay with you?"

"It's more than okay."

…

-Fin